Bella's mind did a double take. What was that?…it just slipped into my head so nonchalantly…She stumbled to replay the words that her mind had produced so effortlessly. Irrevocably… in love with him? What am I…
Bella obviously couldn't deny the attraction she felt towards the obviously good-looking (Understatement of the year, she thought), rather mysterious, and unexplainably strange boy, but irrevocably in love…. I sound like one of the cornier parts of an Oscar Wilde novel. Don't be silly, Bella. You're only 17. She found it indisputably difficult to throw off the idea, the very pleasurable, beautiful, unfathomable idea that she was in love with this boy she barely knew, but with one mighty heave of rational willpower, throw it off she did. Having thus untangled herself from a knot of turbulent, avalanche-causing emotions, she looked at the emotional knot as honestly as she could manage. How could she be certain these romantic feelings were genuine, anyhow? Might not she be deceived at this, her point of weakness, and rather easily at that? Accepting this idea, she knew, could disrupt her life almost immeasurably. She could see herself now, ignoring what little family she had and eventually estranging herself from them, dropping out of high school or skipping college to be with this guy, Edward. This incredibly beautiful, mysterious, interesting, hot guy, Edward. The thought erupted in her mind uncontrollably and she clapped a lid on it immediately. Gah! Stop thinking stupid, sappy thoughts like that, she ordered herself. You can't let this infatuation disrupt your life.