Do not take this seriously. I tried to make the lamest story I could so hopefully it's lame enough for you. =]
Scorpion had slept in after a long night of killing, slaying, and more killing. The first thing he always does when he wakes up is log on to the self proclaimed "Greatest thing since flavored condoms!" website known as .com.
He was prompted to enter his email address and password.
"Email address?" Scorpion asked himself, "what was it again?" he sat in silence going back into his brain to retrieve the email address.
"I think it ended in dot something." He said. "Something with a bunch of numbers after it something ".
Scorpion sat still again.
"Fuck it, I don't know it." he finally said.
It wasn't until five minutes after typing random words in the eamil address bar that he noticed something scribbled on his right hand. He looked at it closely and found out that it said "email address is ".
Scorpion sat there in amazement, "Wow." he finally said "My hand knows all!"
He entered his password which was A, B, A, C, A, B, B and entered it and he was finally logged in.
He was greeted with the homepage saying "Welcome Scorpion!" and right under that was a bar that said "New messages".
"New messages?" thought Scorpion. "I wonder who it could be from." he clicked it and read it.......
"That fool!" Scorpion shouted. "How dare he accuse me of something like that! Why would Raiden think I was leaving him silly messages on his answering machine?"
He responded to Raiden by insulting his mother and putting "[sticks up middle finger]" after it to symbolize it as an action. He suddenly heard a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" Scorpion demanded.
"It is I, Sub-Zero!" he answered. "I came here to kick your ass!"
Scorpion quickly grew nervous, "Shit, I still need to read the rest of my messages. How will I stall him?" he asked himself in his head. "Uh, I can't fight yet!" Scorpion shouted back "I'm watching porn right now!"
"Yeah, that's a good one." Scorpion said in his head.
"Well I don't care!" Sub-Zero said meanly. "Get out here! Or should I quote you by saying 'Get over here!'?"
"That bastard!" Scorpion shouted "Nobody quotes me! Now he'll pay!" Scorpion teleported in a fiery flame and appeared right behind Sub-Zero. Sub-Zero was still standing outside Scorpion's temple.
"Hello? You coming out or not?!" he shouted. "Should I start calling you pussy from now on?" Scorpion tapped him on the shoulder.
"Do you mind?" Sub-Zero said pushing Scorpion's hand away without turning around. "I'm waiting for Scorpion, er, I mean Pussy to come out."
"Turn around you idiot!" Scorpion roared.
Sub-Zero turned around and seen the spectre standing before him. "Damn it, I hate when you do that. Can't you just simply walk out here like everyone else?" he asked. Scorpion delivered a fatal punch to the nose that sent Sub-Zero down to the ground. While he was on the ground Sub-Zero froze Scorpion's legs.
"You icy bastard!" Scorpion shouted. "Release me from your frozen clutches!" Sub-Zero stood up and merely chuckled.
"You will pay for all the torment you've put on me all these years." Sub-Zero said "Especially now, you came looking for a fight!"
"Dumbass! It was the other way around! You came over here looking for one!" Scorpion said, correcting him.
"It does not matter. You will die!" Sub-Zero said preparing for the final blow. Just before he could though some strange woman came out of nowhere and chopped his head off.
"Thanks." Scorpion muttered, "but who are you?"
"My name is Jilaana. I am currently in search of a powerful male to help me with my quest." she answered.
"And what would that be?" Scorpion asked.
Jilaana shyly smiled "To help repopulate Edenia after Shao Kahn killed everyone there."
"Even Kitana and Sindel?" Scorpion asked.
"No, but he did make them make love to each other while he watched. It was degrading to both of them."
"Why did you pick me to do this?" Scorpion asked.
"Because I find ninja spectres to be... hot" she chuckled.
Jilaana shattered the ice that had froze Scorpion in place then they quietly went into the temple......
Liu Kang and Kai were walking around looking for a missing person.
"So, what's the name of this person?" Kai asked.
"Jilaana." Liu Kang answered. "She likes to tell lies just to get guys to have sex with her."
"Can't we go and do important macho things? Like beat up some bad guys or something?" Kai whined.
"There will be plenty of time for that afterwards." Liu Kang said. "For now we shall look for her."
They eventually found Scorpion's temple.
"I should knock." Liu Kang said "Since your social skills blow."
Liu Kang balled up his fist preparing to knock but Kai stopped him.
"You hear that?" Kai asked. "Listen."
Kai put his ear to the door and listened intently and then he started chuckling.
"What?" Liu Kang asked seriously.
"I think we found Jilaana. And judging by what I heard my social skills isn't the only thing around here that blows." he said laughing.
Liu Kang simply stood there and rubbed his chin.
"Well, aren't we going to go in there and save her?" Kai wondered.
"Nah" Liu Kang finally said. "If she's out of our hair our lives will be better." he said.
They started laughing and walked back to the White Lotus Society.....