Demeter paused again on her journey down the alleyway. Someone was following her again. Between the drops of icy rain that pattered on the grimy cobbles, she could hear slow but definite footprints behind her. She really should not have come, she mused fearfully. These streets were a nasty area of London in daylight. Darkness made them positively lethal. So what drew her here, to the rat-filled corners of the Backstreets she had begun to re-visit?
The very fact she was forbidden to visit them! She heard a whisper behind her and froze. A chill wind ruffled her fur, making her shiver. She paused for as long as she dared, then ran at full tilt around the corner. Her eyes were wide with terror, and her heart was racing. Eventually, with the sort of Jellicle prowess she rarely dared to show, she leapt onto a dirty sign hanging from the wall. Teetering there, she watched silently as a dark, lean shape passed underneath, looking around. It sniffed here and there, then shrugged, and moved away again. Demeter let out a shudder of distaste and climbed down. Checking none of her family was in sight, she crossed to a human bar on the corner. Slipping down the side alleyway, she reached the derelict lean-to with the cracked pane of glass leaning by the door. She took a deep breath and jumped onto the sill.
Below her, as it always had, stood a pile of crates. Thin, vicious looking alley cats were grouped around them. This she knew, was the club Gus used to frequent before his illness worsened and he was forced to stay indoors. In her heart of hearts, Demeter was glad he couldn't see the dissolution his beloved club had fallen into. In a corner, Griddlebone was singing something familiar. She listened. It was a cruel pun on the words of Jemima's solo. She giggled at the altered lyrics, then was shocked. Those words were sacred to true Jellicles, she reprimanded herself.
"But, if I were a true Jellicle, I wouldn't be here," she sighed. A tom turned around as he heard her words.
"Demeter, what a surprise," he drawled sarcastically. Both his ears were slit down the middle. Then he smiled. The colour of ash, he was one of Macavity's henchcats. He was about Alonzo's size, but far thinner.
"Hi, Hades." She smiled. Hades gestured towards Griddlebone, singing on her podium.
"Recognise the song?" he asked, smiling wickedly. Demeter widened her eyes, and squirmed like an embarrassed kitten.
"It's very naughty, Hades," she blinked prissily. Hades laughed loudly.
"You 'aven't changed a bit, 'ave you? Not since we was kittens!" Demeter smiled ruefully.
"Actually, I've changed a lot. I wouldn't be here if I hadn't." she sighed. Hades grew quiet. Then he stroked Demeter's face with his paw.
"S'good to see you, Demi." He whispered. She kissed his cheek.
"And you, Hades." He held her close for a moment, then pushed her gently away.
"What about a drink?" he asked, he eyes twinkling evilly.
"What of?" she asked with a suspicious grin.
"Blood Cream. Three shots cream, two shots blood, and one shot…"
"Of Hades' special ingredient!" Demeter finished for him, and laughed. "Just like when we were young."
"Too right, dollface." Hades picked up a tumbler, and began to mix.
Demeter couldn't recall how much she drank, but it was a lot. Like all the others in the club, she could hold her drink. The music got filthier as the evening went on, and so did the talk. Hades' friends arrived, two toms she knew, Blade and Sykes. Sykes had a little queen with him, possibly his sister. She was small, with ginger and white markings. The others addressed her, oddly enough, as Cigarette. She certainly wasn't Blade's sister, if the looks he was giving her were anything to go by. An enormous, battle-scarred tom, he was three times the size of Sykes and Hades. Cigarette regarded him with calculating green eyes. Demeter recognised the all too obvious expression of a backstreet queen assessing how violent an approaching tom could become if she refused him. Sipping her sixth Mousetrap, Cigarette made up her mind. She murmured something to Blade, her eyes completely devoid of expression. He smiled an evil, leering grin, and walked away. As soon as his back was turned, she shot a look at Hades. It was so despairing and panic-stricken, Demeter visibly jumped. Cigarette's eyes filled with miserable tears as she followed Blade away. Surprised, Demeter turned to Hades, and received her second shock that evening. He was hunched sadly over the crate, following Cigarette with his eyes, as miserable as she had been.
"She's agreed to become his mate." He sighed angrily. "Curse Blade." He pushed his drink away untouched.
"Couldn't you fight him for her?" Demeter suggested. Hades gave her a gloomy look.
"'E's the boss's favourite, or I'd tear him apart!" he growled angrily. He sighed again. "Cigarette deserves better. I know I ain't got much to offer her, but, Demi, I love 'er. I don't dare show it in front of Blade, or 'e'd slaughter me." Demeter patted his paw consolingly. The music changed to a slow number.
"Let's have a dance." Hades nodded. Gently, Demeter pulled him to his feet and they crossed the room. On the dancefloor below Griddlebone's podium, he held her tightly. Silently, she buried her head in his fur. Was this how Jellicles who left the tribe ended up, she wondered. As her old friend danced with her, she thought of Munkustrap. Please, don't let him find out I'm here, she prayed. Munkustrap would be so upset, he thought she was hunting. Suddenly, Hades stood still.
"I missed you, Demi," he whispered, his face close to hers. The cocktails she had shared with him bubbled inside her head.
"I missed you too." He pulled her towards him, and she didn't resist. What harm can one kiss do? She thought, suddenly tipsy. She was just about to find out, when:
"Leave her alone, Hades." A tom's voice cut through the air like a knife, severing them. Demeter pulled back in fright. For a horrible second, she thought it was another Jellicle, but when she realised the truth it was worse.
"Macavity," she breathed in horror. The lean ginger tom inclined his head.
"Demeter," he said simply, turning to Hades. "Leave her alone, you scum." He spat. Hades glared at the floor, but did not reply. Demeter stamped her paw in frustration.
"I can look after myself, thankyou, and Hades happens to be my friend!" She clapped her paw over her mouth as she realised she'd answered him back. He darted towards her, and she thought he'd hit her. Instead, he placed his paw firmly on her arm. Silence fell within the club.
"I merely wish to talk to you, Demeter." She shrugged off his arm angrily, but said nothing. He waited.
"Okay." She muttered. He thanked her, and ordered two more drinks. Hades slunk off to the other side of the room, watching her protectively, with suspicion in his eyes. Demeter watched Macavity equally warily. He sipped his drink and paid calmly, then turned to her.
"I'm sorry if I upset you," he said at last. Demeter was puzzled, and more than disbelieving. This was very unlike Macavity. Drawing herself up to her full height, she gave him her coldest stare.
"What do you want, Macavity?" she asked sceptically. He didn't look away. Instead, his eyes softened.
"I wanted to talk to you about what has happened between us in the past." He stated calmly. Demeter felt uneasy, and hoped he was talking about the near past. She managed a disdainful laugh, looking at the floor.
"You mean last year? When you half-killed Munkustrap, kidnapped Old Deuteronomy, and tried to take me too? You mean then?" Macavity sighed.
"Demeter, I was confused. I'd been searching for you for so long, I'd given up! Then I gatecrash the ball, and find you there…with Munkustrap! You never told me you'd returned to the tribe!" he explained. Demeter brought her glass down on the crate with an angry clatter.
"I never told you because I never wanted to see you again! Leaving the tribe was just a stupid teenage mistake I made because I was too scared of becoming an adult. I wanted to go home to my family, and tell them what had happened to Delilah and Hades!" she shouted, pushing past him back towards the exit. "And that is precisely what I want now: to go home!" She had nearly made it when he caught her by the wrist.
"Demeter, wait!" She folded her arms, and stood still, waiting. He took a deep breath. Demeter couldn't believe how different he seemed. "Last year isn't what I want to talk about. Or when you left the Backstreets and went back to the tribe. I want to talk about what happened before then.. .between us." She bit her lip. Macavity took her paws tightly in his own, and looked earnestly at her.
"I would have married you, you know." He whispered. Demeter refused to let herself believe him.
"Pleurf." She scoffed, but her voice was wavering dangerously.
"After you ran away again…I was scared what had happened to Delilah would happen to you. The thought terrified me."
"Really?" whispered Demeter shyly. Macavity nodded.
"Delilah and I..we were never exactly soulmates, but when she left, I didn't want her to go. She must have known how ill she was, even then." Demeter closed her eyes at the memory of her friend's decline after she ran away.
"Thank the Heavyside the Jellicles found her kitten." Macavity sighed. "And admittedly, they never would have done that if you hadn't left the Backstreets and told them. In a way, I'm glad you did." Demeter was stunned.
"You mean that?" she murmured in astonishment. He nodded seriously.
"I've changed, Demeter. Seeing you last year changed me. I don't want to be evil anymore. I'm lonely. But first, I need to know. Which one of the queens at the last Jellicle Ball was Delilah's daughter, Munkustrap's niece?" Demeter was so shocked she almost fainted.
"The white one, Victoria…" she murmured at last. Macavity sighed.
"Of course. White like her mother. Beautiful," he murmured. Without any fear, Demeter found herself looking him straight in the eye, and asking him the question that had lingered in her mind ever since Hades had brought her news of Victoria's birth, and Delilah's death.
"Were the rumours about Delilah and you true? Did you father her kittens?" Macavity smiled.
"No, not hers nor anyone else's. God forbid any innocent kitten should be born with me as her father. I've marred too many lives of strange cats to permanently scar one simply by fathering it. I regret what I've done, truly I do." Remorse filled his voice as he talked about his past. "Victoria's father is a stranger to me. I only hope he one day has the pleasure of meeting his family. I wish I could hope for the same." Demeter found herself actually believing his words.
"I didn't realise," she whispered, holding his paws tightly. Macavity stepped closer, urgently ushering her towards the door.
"No, my darling, and why should you? I've been evil towards you and those you love-I can't expect you to forgive me now," he said, with the suavity that was his trademark. "Demeter, come back to my apartments with me," he asked.
"Macavity, no!" Demeter warned him before things went any further. "I can't…I'm Munkustrap's mate now." His expression did not change.
"Have you been married?" he asked. Demeter was forced to admit they hadn't.
"All the same, I can't betray him." She protested. He tilted his face towards hers.
"I'm not asking you to, my darling. I would never do anything to make you unhappy." For a fleeting second she thought he would kiss her, and felt something akin to disappointment when he merely stepped back and opened the door. With a reassuring glance towards the puzzled Hades, she slipped outside into the night.
They walked through the darkened streets for some time, until they came to an old, almost derelict house close to the Junkyard. Guards clustered around the main entrance, unobstrusive alley cats with their girlfriends nearby. In the lounge, Demeter could hear a raucous party. Macavity smiled at her.
"Acquaintances of mine. I don't think we need disturb them." He led her through the gate, past bowing henchcats into the garden. The lush undergrowth was as dense as it was overgrown. There was a summerhouse at the far end of a dewy lawn, misty in the dying moonlight. Soon, it would be morning. The glass, still intact, sparkled in the starlight, and the whole garden was still, like a painting made real in the ethereal gloom. Inside, she saw a chaise-lounge, in a dusky green velvet. A silken violet shawl was strewn over it, and candles glowed nearby.
"Do you like it?" Macavity whispered in her ear.
"Oh, it's beautiful," she whispered, overcome.
"Allow me," he replied, and lifted her in his arms. Without a word passing between them, he carried her across the garden.
I should not be doing this, thought Demeter as he set her down on the velvet couch. She thought despairingly of Munkustrap, but somehow could not bring herself to leave. Macavity sat down beside her, and stroked her ears tenderly.
"Demeter, can you believe me if I tell you I have missed you every second of every minute you've been away from me?" he asked. Her heart started pounding. Stop this now, she told herself severely. He moved closer, and brushed his lips against her neck.
"I don't think we should do this," she stammered.
"Please, Demeter, listen," he sighed, slipping his arms around her. "You don't know how much you mean to me. I know we're from completely different backgrounds, and that you have every reason to hate me, but I've changed, I promise I have." He held her tightly against him. "I want to be with you," he whispered. Demeter thought she was going to faint.
"You don't know what you're saying, this is impossible!"
"Demi, I love you," he interrupted. She was silent for a long time, wondering what to say. When she did speak, her voice was rushed and choked in a way she couldn't control.
"I love you too. I always have, and I always will, and-" Before she could breathe, he was kissing her. For a single, guilty, despairing second, she pictured Munkustrap, and then she was lost.
When her eyes opened again, she was floating on warm waves of bliss, lying sleepily in his arms. They were entwined in the shawl, sprawled over the chaise lounge. She smiled sleepily, sitting up again. The sun wasn't quite up, the night still hid the garden in dark seclusion. Hiding them….hiding what she had done. Reality hit her suddenly, and fear overpowered her, making her tremble. What had she done? Been to the club, drank, left with the greatest living enemy of all Jellicles! And not only that! She had kissed him, declared her love to him and fallen asleep in his arms!
What would Munkustrap say? She couldn't tell him. It would break his heart. The wind rustled through the hedge as she came to her decision. She would tell no-one. No-one could find out. This would be a secret she'd take to her grave, if she had to. Guilt was eating away at her like a cold worm of fear.
But, I said I loved him. Well, I didn't mean it, Demeter whispered resolutely. Yes, you did, a little niggling voice inside her repeated. She heard a murmur beside her. Macavity was awake. His brown eyes were full of love…but there was an edge to his expression she hadn't seen the night before.
"Awake so soon?" he asked softly. She shivered.
"Cold?" he asked. Demeter nodded, standing up and walking to the end of the couch.
"I ought to be going, before the sun's up." She couldn't look him in the eye; if she did, he'd make her stay. Sure enough, he followed her.
"Don't go, babe," he pleaded, taking her paw so it was impossible for her to turn away. Demeter wriggled uneasily.
"The others will be wondering where I am," she offered lamely.
"Stay," he persisted, holding her close.
"I can't," she cried, biting her lip and looking away. There was a rustle in the bushes nearby, and Demeter jumped instinctively towards him.
"Shush, there's no-one there," he reassured her, tilting her face up towards his. Demeter sighed.
"Macavity, this is wrong. I can't stay here, as another one of your queens in the alleys!" she protested indignantly. She suddenly smelt a familiar scent, but ignored it as he answered her.
"I'm not asking you to. Be my mate." He said earnestly. Demeter felt like her head was spinning. Giddily, she tried to stay serious.
"But what about Munkustrap?" she bleated. Macavity shrugged carelessly.
"Darling, I know you care about him, but you said you weren't married. You weren't lying, were you?" His eyes glowed, boring into the back of her skull. His expression was so intense, for a second she was terrified.
"N-no," she stammered. Macavity's threatening gaze switched off so instantly that for a moment Demeter thought she might have imagined it.
"Good," he smiled. "then, Demeter you're free to mate with whoever you choose. Don't trouble yourself."
It all sounds so…easy, she reflected, staring up into his big, brown exciting eyes. She would never get bored with him as she might with the tribe. But, could a cat like him really change? Or was he just using her to get back at Munkustrap?
"You're so beautiful, Demi," he drawled, stooping to kiss her. Demeter murmured something, and responded. Maybe he had changed. As they kissed, he started to lead her back towards the head of the couch, first casually, and then more urgently. Mesmerised, she followed him, knowing full well what was about to happen. She slid into his arms with a slight smile, closing her eyes, when….
"Demeter!" With a horrified growl, Mistoffelees leapt from the bushes at the edge of the garden. Demeter screamed, and darted away from Macavity. Fur on end, her fellow Jellicle arched his back at Macavity. "How could you, Demeter?" he cried in disgust. "Munkustrap deserves better than this-have you completely taken leave of your senses?"
"You little runt!" Macavity spat, furious. "Get out of here!" he ordered Misto. If there was one thing Misto hated, it was being reminded of his height. Without another word, he sent a bolt across the summerhouse. It singed a hole in the velvet between Macavity's paws. Macavity yowled his fury, and lashed out at the smaller tom. The wound could have been fatal, but fortunately Misto avoided it altogether by leaping elegantly onto the fence.
"Misto-please, don't go, I can explain…it isn't how it looks!" wept Demeter, scrambling after him. Misto looked down at her with mingled disappointment and anger.
"Oh yeah? Let's see what the rest of the tribe think!" he scowled, and leapt out of sight. Demeter began to scale the fence, tears pouring down her face. The lightening sky promised a sunny day, but for all Demeter cared, it could have killed her with a lightening bolt there and then.
"Demeter! Demeter!" called Macavity, behind her. His tone was pleading, then frustrated.
I have to talk to Misto,
repeated Demeter's brain frenziedly."I have to go, I can't stay, I'm so sorry, Mac!" Feeling guiltier than ever, she rushed over the fence, and wildly along the path where Misto's pawprints lay. She'd never seen Misto so angry……what if he told Munkustrap or the others? What if he told Victoria? What would happen to her?
Oh, Everlasting Cat, help me, please!
"Misto!" she called at the top of her voice, "Misto! Please! Wait for me!"
END OF PART ONE
PART TWO-SECRETS AND LIES
She caught up with him eventually, crossing a road.
"Misto!" she cried, redoubling the volume of her shouts. Eventually he whirled round in a swirl of black anger.
"Demeter, just go away! I'm not interested!"
"Please, Misto, listen. It was all just a stupid mistake! I didn't mean to end up with him, I'll never do it again, I swear! Don't tell Munkustrap, I love him, really I do! I'm so sorry!" She burst into tears, hiding her face in despair. Eventually Misto put his arm round her and gave her a handkerchief. She blew her nose gratefully.
"Are you sure this has never happened before?" he asked gravely. Demeter nodded. Misto thought for a moment, then sighed.
"Alright, I won't tell anyone what happened." Demeter flung her arms around him, and he hugged her stiffly back.
"But, please, Demeter, don't see that monster again. If Viccy knew…." His voice trailed off sadly. Demeter patted his shoulder guiltily, promising Viccy would never know. He seemed a little unconvinced, but together, they walked back to the Junkyard.
Another person keeping my secret, Demeter thought sadly. She prayed no-one else would find out.
^~^
He's coming, thought Victoria excitedly, stretched out on the roof of Jenny's car. He is coming, and everything is going to be wonderful! She purred to herself, surveying the empty Junkyard. Soon Misto would be coming into the Yard, and she had a brilliant secret to tell him. It had come at sort of a bad time, what with them not technically being married, but… The sunlight rippled lovingly over her sleek white body, and her face was radiant. Despite the fact she'd lain awake all night in her excitement, she couldn't have looked more refreshed. Over by the tyre, Munkustrap was pacing up and down, waiting for Demeter. Excitement also shone in her uncle's eyes. Well, he was really her uncle, but she had been brought up as his little sister. She didn't know much of what had happened to her mother, only that she had died outside the tribe, and Skimbleshanks, her godfather, and some of the other toms, including Munkustrap had been sent to find her, just after Misto's first Ball. She looked at Munkustrap; he was muttering something, as if he was rehearsing. She gave him an affectionate glance, when Bom and the Tugger appeared. She said hello to them, but didn't really notice Tugger, lost in her daydreams.
"Jeez, have I lost my touch? She must be ill." He whimpered, looking at her absent face. Bom whacked him on the paw.
"Maybe you're not as cute as you think you are." She grinned, and sat down on the tyre to sunbathe in the morning air. Other cats were now entering the Junkyard, but Misto wasn't one of them. Victoria searched with her eyes, but then saw him cautiously coming up the ramp behind the cooker. He was talking in a whisper to Demeter, and looked kinda on edge. She should have registered that him arriving with Demeter was odd, but was too happy to care.
"Misto!" she beamed, racing over to him. He smiled when he saw her, but it was an odd, tense smile. There was a shadow in his eyes, like he hadn't slept all night. "Guess what, I have some wonderful news for you-Misto!" He wasn't even listening. His eyes had followed Demeter over to the tyre, where she had met Munkustrap. Victoria wanted to yell at him, but something in the intent way he was watching them both told her something big was about to happen….
"Demeter!" Munkustrap sprang down beside her, and rubbed his head lovingly around hers. Demeter did the same, only a little less whole-heartedly.
What shall I say to him?
, she panicked."Where have you been? I've waiting for you for ages. It doesn't matter though, sweetheart, you're here now." He looked oddly excited. Demeter felt suddenly uneasy. Whatever he was planning, it was taking him a lot of courage.
"Demeter, you know how much you mean to me, don't you?" he asked her, drawing her a little away from the others.
Munkustrap, don't,
Demeter silently begged."There's something I have to ask you," he asked, his dark eyes kind and loving.
Act normal,
she told herself. Trying to do so, she smiled."I know you're far too good for me, 'Meter, and I know that I don't deserve you, but the truth is, I want-"
What have I done? What have I done?
"To ask you to marry me. Will you, my darling?" he asked, dropping down on one knee before her.
^~^
What have I done? Sweet Heavyside, what have I done?
I can't say no, he's the right tom for me.
You're lying to yourself, Demeter.
I don't love Macavity…I don't!
Yes you do, you know it. Nothing can change that.
He's a good tom. He doesn't deserve this.
How can that change what you've done?
It was a mistake!
A mistake you enjoyed making….
It meant nothing.
Demi, don't lie…you know you don't want him.
I love him, I-
You love another, stop lying and admit it.
I won't listen!
Demeter, oh Demeter, I'm disappointed in you.
I'm not lying…I love him! I won't listen to this.
Demi, don't lie….you wouldn't lie to dear old Munkustrap would you?
I don't know what to do…
Time's nearly up, Demeter.
I've got to say yes!
Too late, Demi. It's too late.
What choice do I have?
Stop lying, Demi…lying's wrong. Very wrong…
I choose….
Say it, then.
I choose….
Be brave. Stop lying to yourself Demeter.
I choose….
You can't say it. Never mind. It's too late for you Demeter. There's no way out for either of us now………………..
What have I done, Sweet Heavyside, what have I done?
END OF PART TWO
PART THREE-BREAKDOWN
"Yes." Said Demeter, suddenly and with an air of finality. Oh, help! Her mind was swirling, but it was what she knew she had to say. The taunting voice in her head died away, but she still felt giddy and faint. Munkustrap's face, however, lit up suddenly with joy.
"You're serious?" he asked her earnestly. Demeter stifled the cries of panic building up in her throat.
"Yes." She smiled, falsely. She couldn't say anything else. The trusting look of love in his eyes was piercing her heart. He let out a hoarse cry of happiness, and embraced her tightly.
"Oh, Demeter, my darling, darling, Demeter, I don't deserve you," he whispered in her ear. Demeter swallowed her tears, and tried to smile. He beamed warmly at her, then suddenly sprang up onto the tyre.
"Come, we have to tell the others!" he beamed. Please, anything but that! Her heart begged. Dizzy with guilt and fear, she stumbled blindly up beside him, the pride in his eyes more than she could bear. His actual words she could not hear. Terrified, her gaze veered over familiar faces in the crowd. She had to confess: she couldn't hold her secret in any longer!
She searched for Mistoffelees, suddenly desperate for the sight of someone who understood her. She spotted him at the back of the crowd, and told him her pain with one desperate glance. She opened her mouth to speak, when Victoria scampered up behind him, slipping her paw lovingly into his. He turned to her, and the obvious love in their eyes stopped her. She couldn't ruin their lives by telling Munk Misto knew. Victoria would never forgive him, ever.
Her sweet white face was upturned close to his, and her smile was bright and excited. Now, she was truly lost. Victoria's face began to whirl, and multiply before her eyes. She caught Misto's eye, but his face became blurred as she teetered on the edge of the tyre. The happy faces below her changed to those of concern, but she was too weak to steady herself. Her heart pounded, and she could scarcely breathe as they swarmed towards her. Somewhere behind her, she heard Munkustrap's worried voice. As she whirled unsteadily around, the faces of those worrying her most formed a montage in her tired brain; Munkustrap, Mistoffelees, Victoria, Macavity. Munkustrap, Misto, Victoria, Macavity. Munkus, Quaxo, Vicky, Macavity…
She gave one last despairing groan, and keeled over at Munkustrap's feet. The last thing she saw was the look on his face as she fell.