The Thief never really liked horses.
Especially after the polo incident.
He hated horses after that.
He preferred sewer pipes or trash cans with wheels to the awful beasts. They were safer, far more efficient, and you wouldn't be seen coming from a mile away.
But, when King Nod had offered The Thief a horse one day, to "better protect the people", The Thief couldn't resist.
After all, if he ever did want a horse one day (like that would ever happen), this way he wouldn't have to steal it.
And he didn't want to go back to jail. He may have had fun there, but he certainly didn't want to go back.
So, dear readers, let us go to The Thief, who was standing outside of the palace, staring at the horse with mild curiosity.
How are you supposed to steer this thing anyway? The Thief poked the horse's side, and then moved to inspect the head as he saw a gleam of silver. Is there a steering wheel, or-Ah, ropes!
The thief took hold of the reins, then with much grunting and heaving, pulled himself up onto the brown stallion. Alright, I'm up. Now…where's the gas pedal? He looked all around for a gas pedal, and, finding none, sat straight up again. He then started scratching his head, angering the flies buzzing around.
He froze as he felt the horse beneath him stiffen. Oh no-please, don't-I, I- The Thief's please went unheard, and the horse took off.
The Thief groped blindly for the reins, and when he found them, he slowly sat up, keeping the leather tight in his hands. Hey! I think I got this! The Thief struck a pose as he bounced softly as the horse ran. Ah, another camera ready-The Thief blinked and sputtered as a branch hit him full on in the face.
Gah, stupid bran-His head snapped back as another hit him. He blinked again. So, this is how you're going to play, hu? The Thief flatted out his body, a triumphant grin on his face.
Then, a low sweeping branch hit him full on in the stomach, launching him off the horse. The branch bent forward, and his horse galloped off. Crap.
The branch snapped back, sending the Thief flying.
He tumbled over himself, his arms failing around as he tried to steady himself. Then in one painful bounce, he landed back in the court yard. He skidded till he was back up against the wall. Now I remember why I-I hate horses so much.
The Thief rubbed his bottom. When he tried to sit up, he found that he couldn't. So, with a sigh, he placed his hand in the middle of his back, and then pushed while at the same time straightening. A loud crack echoed, but The Thief sighed in content.
Much better.
A/N:
Just don't even say anything.
I was in a thief and the cobbler mood today, so, I thought, why not do a little drabble series with The Thief in the life of head of the palace security!
If you guy's haven't watched the movie, you really should.
I don't own The Thief and The Cobbler.