A/N: Here's another foray into the Crazy Eyes universe. It skips ahead a season or so into the Pandora/Linchpin arc. I just couldn't resist writing how Crazy Eyes Kate would handle a traitorous former muse that tried to sow discord between her and Rick.

As with the rest of the Crazy Eyes universe, this is not meant to be taken seriously. It's just a lighthearted look at how a jealous Kate might act if she decided to stop screwing around.

No beta, so all mistakes are mine, and of course I don't own any of this, nor am I making any profit from this venture.

Enjoy!

"You're the same reckless, immature, self-centered jackass you always were…This isn't one of your damn books Rick! You can't just rewrite the ending like you did with us."

Oh HELL no.

Ever since Kate Beckett took charge of her life and claimed Rick Castle's affection for herself she had lived by two rules. Essentially they were two subsets of the same rule: don't fuck with her man, either by flirting or attacking. Either was punishable by death, and this brunette bitch did both.

It was to her credit that Kate held it together for as long as she did. She even sat through Sophia Turner's sanctimonious bullshit about why she and Rick hadn't worked out.

"So what happened, if you don't mind my asking?"

"You ever meet someone and have that intense attraction, right away, that tension? Well, we fought it for months and then we just couldn't stand it anymore. But afterward, tension was all we had, really, and without it, all we were left with was that…well, those things that drove us crazy about each other. I mean, you know how he can be."

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

"Sometimes I wish we had never slept together and kept that longing…"

The only thing keeping her from drawing her service pistol at that moment was the fact that they needed this psychotic witch to solve the case. It took every ounce of self-control she had to maintain a solemn face when in her mind she was doing a happy dance and singing 'Yeah. I wish you'd never slept together either. Oh well. Neener neener neener. He's mine now, bitch!'

Then the bitch – she really couldn't use the word enough about Sophia – had the balls to get them kicked off the case, but then she showed up at his loft and asked Rick if they would work it through the back door?

It bore repeating: oh HELL no. He's been done with her back door for years now.

And now she had Castle at gunpoint.

Luckily, Kate wasn't with Rick that morning when the called in the break in the case. If today was really the day everything was going to go down, she wanted to be as prepared as possible, so she was down at the armory when Castle texted her the location.

It took a few calls, several strings pulled, and more favors called in than she knew she had, but entering that gleaming white basement to see Rick on his knees about to be executed, she knew it was worth the effort.

"Aww, you should have invited me to your little party, Turner."

When he saw his savior, Castle's jaw dropped. Kate strode in dressed in head-to-toe black. Dark wire-framed sunglasses obscured the top of her face while her leather motorcycle jacket clung to her upper half above a form-fitting black t-shirt that highlighted her…assets. She also had on black denim pants that lovingly cradled her ass. Calf-height black leather boots completed the wardrobe but what held everyone's attention was the odd-looking shotgun she casually slung over one shoulder.

Her badass entrance was like something he'd seen in a movie somewhere, but honestly the blood was rushing the opposite direction from his brain too fast for Castle to remember which movie, not that he exactly regretted it in the moment. "How…who…what…?"

"Nice job, dumbass," Turner growled as her attention shifted to the more immediate threat, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"What does it look like?" Kate shot back. "Saving my man…again…preventing you from your nefarious goals, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera," she waved her hands dismissively, showing her absolute boredom at the question.

The cocking action of a pistol echoed around the empty basement. "Do you really think you can stop any of this now?"

Beckett cocked an eyebrow at her boyfriend. "What the hell did you ever see in her, Castle? Never mind, don't answer that," turning her attention back to Sophia the bitch, "You have that little pea shooter there, which might or might not make a tiny little hole in me, depending on if you can hit this broad side of a barn. Me? I have this little wet dream that I picked up from the boys and girls with NYPD's finest SWAT team.

"If I start firing this baby, this is how it's going to go down: the specially modified magazine in this shotgun is going to start automatically feeding eight rounds of buckshot through the action, sending enough hot led out my barrel to make sure that the only way there will be enough left of you to bury is if CSU comes in with a wet-dry vac. Then Rick and I go back to his loft, have a little champagne to celebrate another dead skank, and he drills me like a Middle Eastern oil well. God willing, I'll be walking bow-legged into the precinct tomorrow with a shit-eating grin all over my face."

"She really wears the pants in your relationship, doesn't she, Rick?" the mocking tone in Turner's voice had Kate doing what Esposito had respectfully termed her 'psychotic Doberman growl'. It had made more than one three hundred pound meth-addict suspect break down in tears in the interrogation room.

"Actually," she retorted in a deceptively smooth voice, "if he does it right, neither of us are wearing pants. Oh the moves this man has…" she trailed off with a sigh and a salacious smirk at some particularly fond memory.

Castle's jaw dropped, followed closely by that of his captor. From where Kate stood, the shifting he'd been doing from one knee to the next was more due now to how uncomfortably tight his pants were getting than nerves at being near death. Oh the things I'm going to do to him when this was all over…he's going to forget ever having any other muse than me.

"Enough! I don't have time for this!" Sophia shouted. She raised her gun and pointed it back at Rick, "Drop the gun or he dies."

That was all it took for Beckett's mind to be made up. Her eye started twitching, which told Castle all he needed to know. She aimed the shotgun straight at the traitorous agent and pumped the action once. "Last warning. Let him go."

The pistol left Rick and started a long, slow arc back to face Kate, leaving her with a ridiculously easy shot. With her boyfriend out of the line of fire, she grinned and gave Sophia a cocky wink before squeezing the shotgun's trigger. Round after round of buckshot exploded out of her barrel and did exactly what she promised. When the smoke cleared, Sophia Turner lay on the floor with the middle part of her torso almost vaporized.

The look of dumbfounded awe on Castle's face was enough to get her heart fluttering in her chest and turn her insides to goo. "Are you ok, Rick?" The concern in her voice overrode all other feelings. Well, almost all others.

Still on his knees, Castle looked at the incredibly hot Valkyrie in front of him who just rode in like the cavalry and saved his life with the world's coolest shotgun. He thought about the years they'd been dating and the time even before that. He'd been attracted to her forever and in love with her for just slightly short of that. Seeing her now crystalized every feeling he had about Detective Katherine Beckett.

There was only one thing to do in this moment. He raised one knee and took her hands as she rushed over to check on him. "Marry me," he asked.

The slight glistening in her eyes was the only clue that she was truly touched by his proposal. Kate grabbed his shirt with both hands and lifted him up before crushing her lips onto his. "It's about damn time!" she growled when they broke for air, "I thought you were never going to ask! Of course I will! I assume you have a ring?"

Of course the cavalry had to ruin the moment with a particularly inopportune entrance. "How did you know she was the traitor?" the guy asked after looking up from the carnage on the floor, a fresh pallor falling over his features.

"She was the traitor?" Kate asked before shaking her head, "Huh. Guess it's my lucky day. Never mind. You have to get upstairs to stop the other one. I'll secure the hostage and get him to safety."

The man looked at the odd tableau in front of him with a question written on his face before shaking his head. "Right," was all he said as he rushed out to deal with the crisis.

Kate looked at Rick and kissed him again.

"You're going to need to reserve us a room at the Plaza, Rick," she whispered as she released him, "I intend to celebrate my engagement in style."

Castle could only grin stupidly as he pulled out his phone and brought up the contact information for the five star hotel she requested.

"Oh and Rick?" Kate threw over her shoulder as she led the way out of the basement, "I wasn't kidding when I said that to her. If I can walk normally tomorrow, I'll be very disappointed."

Those words and the extremely unnecessary sway she put in her hips had Castle gulping as he said "Hello? Yes, I'm going to need the best suite you have available for tonight," into his phone and followed Kate's lead, eyes locked on the metronome of hips in front of him.

A/N: This may be the most twisted thing I've ever written, but it was just way too much fun not to write. Please let me know what you thought of this.

Hope you enjoyed it!