The Things I Should Have Said
BANG. Blaine jumped, as did everybody else in the choir room. For a moment, there was quiet, and then another BANG. All of the kids scrambled out of their seats and hid, the lights went off; doors were closed, locked and barricaded. There was someone with a gun inside the school. Blaine's mind shut down; he sat pressed against the piano, shaking, not even able to form tears. He could see his fellow New Directions in various places; each was either crying or in a complete stage of shock. Mister Schuester did his best to make sure everyone was there, and Blaine heard him say something about sending out tweets and texts to other students and parents. Blaine reached a shaky hand into his pocket and extracted his cell phone, watching as tears started to fall onto the screen. There were so many things he needed to fix, so many things left unsaid. He tapped the "tweet" button. His mind suddenly went blank, and behind him he heard scuffling. "BRITTANY IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE!" he heard Sam yell. Mister Schue calmed him down and said "Sam, you're endangering everybody in this choir room, you need to sit down!" Blaine's fingers hit the keys without him even thinking, and he looked down at the message he was about to tweet. I'm sorry we never made things right. You know who you are. Final regards. He held his breath and pressed send.
Kurt was on his way back upstairs after getting coffee for Rachel and Santana, when he felt his phone buzz multiple times. Probably just spam emails, he thought. He slid the door to their apartments to the side with one hand and placed the cardboard tray with the hot cups on the table. "Coffee's here!" He heard mumbling from elsewhere in the apartment; they were probably both busy with something. He pulled out his phone, freezing in place when he saw multiple tweets from his former classmates. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save you. BSPierce", "At least I was able to show my true self before I die", and the worst one: "I'm sorry we never made things right. You know who you are. Final regards." He shakily walked over to the couch and sat down; dialing Blaine's number as he so often had. He sat, breath held, waiting for him to pick up. "C'mon, pick up, pick up!" He heard Rachel shout from the other room, "Kurt, did you see all of these tweets?!" He nodded his head, and then realized she wasn't in the room. He managed to choke out a "Y-yeah" before he tried dialing again, tapping his foot rapidly, tears pouring own his face. Rachel ran in, also in tears. "Kurt, what the hell do you think is happening?" He shook his head, gasping as his phone vibrated against his face. He pulled it away and saw a text from Blaine. "Don't call, we're still hiding!" Kurt wiped the tears from his eyes as he furiously typed "FROM WHAT?!" For a second there was no reply, and all he could hear were Rachel's muffled sobs into a pillow. "gunman, in the school, Tina and Brittany aren't here. We're locked in the choir room." He tapped Rachel and pulled her towards him, pointing at the messages from Blaine. She choked up again, not even able to cry. She hugged Kurt as she shook and sobbed, both of them scared for their friends' lives.
Blaine had his head in his arms; he couldn't even cry anymore. It had been too long, what was going on outside? He heard a door open and his head whipped around, but he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it was Mister Schue with Brittany and a few other students. Artie had been recording everyone as they whispered confessions, but Blaine couldn't muster up enough strength to put his feelings into words. He felt his phone buzz again and he checked his messages. "Everything is gonna be ok Blaine. Mr Schue is with you, he'll protect you. you're strong, you can make it." Blaine shook his head as he started to cry again. He started to type "Kurt, i still love you, I always have and I-" but he was cut off when he heard "ALL CLEAR!" from outside in the hallway. He let out a shaky breath, pulling himself off of his feet and hugging all of his friends, along with Mister Schuester. He separated himself from the group for a minute, wiping his face with the sleeve of his Cheerios uniform and looking at the unfinished text to Kurt. With a sigh, he backspaced it all and wrote instead, "we're ok, they called all clear. Everyone is ok. ttyl…" He sighed again and backed up against a wall, allowing himself to slide down. He sat with his forehead against his knees, lucky to be alive. He was too emotionally drained to cry, so he just sat and thought about his life, and all the other things he never got to say. He got another text. "thank god you're all ok…" There was a pause and another message: "do you wanna talk?" If Blaine was being honest with himself, he didn't want to talk at all. He just wanted to go home. That's the reason he was torn. For the longest time, Kurt WAS his home.