I'll never forget the day that the world was thrown into chaos, and nobody will believe me when I tell them that it all started with the abduction of "Weird Al" Yankovic.
It is a particularly warm day in Iowa, the day our story begins. Outside of a casino near the Nebraska border, a huge crowd of people in Hawaiian shirts and messed up curly wigs huddle at the gate, waiting to be let into the venue where they'll party way too hard to comedy music.
Three people push their way to the front of the line, shouting casual, "thank yous," over their shoulders as they force their way along. One of them is dressed in a spongebob squarepants shirt and a tutu, another is dressed as a decorated member of the armed forces, and the other is dressed as Stanley Spadowski.
When the gates to the venue finally open, the three are among the first ten people let in. Spadowski and the General hurry across the astroturf to save their spots at the very front and as close to the center as possible, as the one in the spongebob and tutu sprints across the venue to the bar to procure bottled water and mountain dew for the group. When she pushes her way back through the crowd to her squad, a few people give her dirty looks. She brushes them off and flips her magical green and purple hair over her shoulder as she takes her spot next to the General.
"Dude, Dew me," says Spadowski. Spongebob casually tosses one of the bottles over to them before offering one to the General.
"We're gonna be waiting here for an hour," whines Spongebob.
"Worth it," says the General. "Look how fast the front filled up."
"Shit," replies Spongebob, "the crowd's like ten people thick on all sides of us now."
"LET GO OF MY MOP!" Spadowski cries suddenly. The other two look over to see a security guard trying to take their mop away.
"Dude, what the hell?" Spongebob asks.
"She could use it as a weapon," the guard points out. Spongebob glares him down.
"They aren't going to use their mop as a weapon. It's part of their costume. Good god, what do you think us fans are gonna do, try to rush the stage? Sheesh dude chill out!"
"It's my mop! Give it back!" Spadowski cries. Behind the three of them, the crowd seems amused by the events unfolding at the front. Glancing toward the back of the stage, Steve and Jim are clearly visible taking video of this altercation.
"HEY, GIVE THEM BACK THE MOP," someone cries from further back in the crowd.
"Yeah! Let them keep the mop!"
"UHF RULES!" another cries.
"Gerald, you're drunk, shut up!" someone shouts.
Finally, the security guard relents and allows Spadowski to keep their mop. The crowd cheers and Spadowski holds it high; a trophy in the fight against overzealous security guards everywhere.
The trio's triumph gives way to the full pandemonium of the beginning of Fun Zone, and soon the mop is abandoned by their feet as they jump and scream and cheer.