Crystal blue-green waves crashed against the side of the boat but I couldn't really see them despite leaning over the port side wale. I had been too lost in thought to see them. It had been something I was getting use to after the night my Emma had invited my to dinner with her family. It took everything I had in me to refuse and walk away. I had been walking away from everything I had ever wanted.
And yet I hadn't had the strength to go back to the boat. I had to see her outside of that diner. I saw not only her but everything I had ever wanted. The sight of a smiling and laughing family together enjoying each others company. Enjoying the strange food and drink of this realm that I had found myself beginning to enjoy. The drink coffee had particularly charmed me and I had become what I overheard someone say at one point as an addict.
In my mind's eye I saw David's grin which he shared freely to those gathered at the table. It was a grin I had only began getting used to receiving from him myself. It wasn't until that moment I realized I had begun to see him not only as the father of the woman I loved but as my friend. Maybe the best friend I had ever begun to have. I appreciated and respected his courage and honor. I appreciated his ever increasing encouragement and trust in me that had began after I helped him in Neverland. He had slowly became a true ally I hadn't had in so many years.
Henry who was so much like his father that it hurt me at times. Despite that, the lad had spunk, intelligence and courage like his mum and his father. His heart was true. The more I had learned of the lad the more I found myself agreeing with that demon Pan. Henry did possess the heart of the truest believer. He was truly a born hero and I had not one doubt that he would prove it someday in spades. I knew I would miss the lad. Zelena had no idea just how much I had grown fond of that boy.
Mary Margaret who had me beginning to believe in the goodness of others despite it all. Her honesty despite it's sometimes unfortunate timing had my utmost respect. She inspired a sense of nobility and honor in those around her and I found myself unexpectedly far from immune from her influence. Her ability of forgiveness humbled and shook me to my core so much I found myself briefly looking at her in awe. When she had looked up at me and said our friend, I had almost broken down right then and there. Our. From Snow White. Emma's mother. She had included me in that our. The knife had twisted in my gut another fraction of an inch from the effort of holding my tongue because of the betrayal to her trust my silence was committing.
And Regina who was the most unlikely of all. If someone would have told me that Regina and I would someday become more than just mistrusting "allies" of convenience on the day we met, I would have laughed on their face. I never once had thought I would begin to come to see her as an actual friend in some ways. Certainly not in all ways did I see her like that. Of all of them, she still was the one I was the least close with. I still found myself coming to respect her forthrightness, tenacity and the fierce devotion and protectiveness for those she loved. I hadn't realized until that moment just how bloody much I had hoped that all of them, including Regina, would become my family, my home, actually become a reality.
Then there was Emma. My Emma. My Swan. Sitting there smiling and laughing as she leaned up against the wall. I found myself jealous of the wall. I wanted to be there next to her More than I had wanted anything in the over three hundred years of my life. I ached for her to turn that radiant smile in my direction. To feel the warmth of her body so close to mine and then have them touch as she leaned closer still. I wanted our fingers to interlace under the table as we enjoyed the leisurely company of our family just having dinner.
Seeing her with the light of laughter in her eyes and that rare, beautiful smile on her lips instantly became my focal point. The shining center of my world allowing me to navigate my way back to who I had been when Liam had still been alive. A man I thought had been dead for so many years. Gave me the hope and will to even want to be that man again. At least some version of him. She really hadn't quite gotten that even after how hard I tried to show her. I still wanted to show her. I wanted to show her in the same way I had realized my love for her.
A burning tingle danced across my lips at that thought. I lowered the spyglass as reality slammed into me like a crashing wave on stormy sea. If I showed her in that way, she would lose her magic. She would lose who she was and most likely Zelena would then take her heart. Just like Rumpelstiltskin had done to Milah. The thought had almost made me double over. I found myself wishing for Cora's hand in my chest gripping my heart threatening to rip it out. Cora was dead and it was Zelena the one who would most likely do it. I'd rather Zelena take mine instead of that. It was preferable, a kindness, compared to the feeling I had felt in that one moment and how I knew I would feel when it would happen.
Just the memory had me wincing yet again. No. I vowed I would not take my love's magic from her. But there was that other side of that vicious coin that needed to be dealt with and needed my attention. I may not have been Emma's true love and my kiss would destroy her but I wasn't going to let that witch hurt her family. It had been the reason I went to Emma's home that night. Emma having been the one to have opened that door had been the only thing that prevented me from doing it. I had to distance myself from her but I couldn't leave them unknowing and unprotected from the witch. At least he needed to know.
"Killian!" A now familiar voice bellowed causing my eyes to snap open.
I looked up to see David standing on the docks waving his arm in greeting. His head tilted in the slight nod that I had come to treasure so greatly. I felt my head return the nod with ease. Another unexpected surprise. How easy it came without even a single thought. I shook my head as I made my way across the deck.
Smee began to approach the docks from the north side of town but I was in no mood to speak with him. I had been still too upset with him from our last conversation and recent events hadn't helped matters. I strode quickly down the gangway onto the dock. A moment later I closed the distance between David and myself. I could feel Smee's eyes on us and it spurred me to motion to David to move away in the opposite direction towards where his vessel.
"Got your message you left with Ruby. What's going on?" David asked as soon as I was in earshot. Confusion was plain on his face and in his voice. "What about your friend?" David noticed Smee on the dock. Recognition quickly lit his eyes. "Wait a second. Didn't he use to be a rat?"
"Aye," I whispered. The same question asked of me on the very same dock. For a split moment, it wasn't David's voice I heard but another voice I wanted to hear more echoing through my mind. The curve of the smile that had formed on my face immediately faded and another sharp stab sheered through my chest. "In many ways, he still is. That's why we should discuss this somewhere else."
"Where?"
"Anywhere that others can't overhear us. Even though that won't do any good. Still, the smaller the likelihood of someone hearing us, the better."
"The apartment. Everyone's out right now," David said, his voice changing from his previous confusion to seriousness and alarm. "Maybe Emma should hear this too."
"No!" I shouted as I halted my step and turned to face him. David had a mask of utter shock but still held my gaze without falter and it took me that moment to realize what I had done. I took a deep breathe. "I'm sorry. That had came out more harshly than I intended."
David nodded but thankfully didn't say another word. He just started the vessel and moved it down the street in the direction of his home. The path towards it had come to be so familiar to me over the time spent in Storybrooke. I knew it like the back of my hand. David remained quiet for the entire voyage but I caught him turning to look at me every so often. The questions screamed from him even though he gave no voice to them. Within moments we arrived at our destination. David quickly led the way into the apartment.
"OK. What's wrong with you?" David asked without waiting even a minute after closing the door and turning to face me.
"Pardon?" I stammered slightly. Ah...he had noticed. Of course he would have.
"You know exactly what I mean. You've been avoiding us all. Even Henry. But, you've been avoiding the one person I know for a fact that you wouldn't normally avoid like I wouldn't and couldn't Mary Margaret. For the exact same reason why I can't. Emma. The woman you love and have repeatedly shown that you love her since Neverland," he replied. He didn't flinch. His voice didn't wavering in the least amount. His blue eyes stayed locked with mine in challenge. Challenging me to deny it. "Remember I was the first one to see it so I damn well know you do. Why are you avoiding the woman you love with all your heart? Something happened. Something's wrong. What is it?"
Yes, he noticed. The irony of the situation came crashing into the forefront of my mind. I had done a similar course of action with his Nightshade poisoning. I understood in that moment how he felt when I had been the one to do it. I was going to tell him anyway. The perceptiveness just made it slightly easier.
"The night I had been with Ariel," I said softly.
"When you helped Ariel on her way back to Eric. That was a couple of nights ago. What about it?"
"I didn't help her. She had been with her husband the whole time."
"What?"
"She was never in Storybrooke. She was with him this whole time."
"Than who was...Zelena."
"Aye."
"She turned herself into Ariel to get us to help her so she could get one of us. But why Ariel?"
"Not one of us. Me. It was me she wanted," I whispered so low I hadn't been sure I heard what I had said myself. David gave me a confused look. Here it would begin was the thought that echoed through my mind. It would be just like my confession had in the Echo Cave. Each wave ripped and teared into me. So shall this be. "I hadn't helped Ariel in the first place. She had came to me thinking I had taken her husband when in fact my ship had been commandeered by Blackbeard and he had been the one who had taken her love. It came down to a choice. My ship or her love. I had chosen my ship. I made Blackbeard walk the plank and the mermaid jumped overboard after him. She wound up finding her love all by herself."
"You chose your ship over Eric?" he shouted in both disbelief and anger. Anger I hadn't seen from him since before the Nightshade and him constantly calling me pirate. I swallowed hard and reminded myself that I knew this David would return once I had told him. He immediately moved further into the room and began to pace slowly back and forth the length of the room.
"I didn't know them. The Jolly Roger was the only home I had left. I could return to my old life and try to..." I began to explain; my eyes cautiously following his movements.
"Fill the hole that leaving Emma left inside your heart. Mend the shattered pieces," he finished for me as he stopped his paced and stared at me. The anger immediately faded and something else flashed in his eyes. Something close to what I hadn't expected nor hoped to receive from him; understanding. Could he?
"Aye. I know what I did to Ariel was wrong. I'm not trying to say it wasn't. I've regretted it basically since the moment she jumped overboard and disappeared. And it didn't stop hurting but got worse. When I saw her at the diner...I'm wanted to say I was sorry but I didn't know what to say or how to say it. When we couldn't find her husband here, I finally admitted to her what had happened and tried to apologize. I tried to tell her why I had done it. Of course she was upset. She had every right to be. But I had wanted to really let her know how much I regretted it and how much I would have taken what I did back if I could. She didn't believe me and asked me if a man with a broken heart could still love. I told I did. She said if I did still love the person who broken my heart then to swear it on her name."
"She cursed Emma?" David asked in sheer panic and the flash of anger returned to his eyes as they hardened once more.
"No! She cursed me," I replied. The tension left his body at my words.
"Cursed you? How? Where you can't go near her like it's physically keeping you away from her?"
"I'm staying away from her by my choosing."
"Why?"
"Think about it."
"I don't see why you would. Not loving her like you do."
"Bloody hell," I sighed in frustration. He should have known by how he himself felt and wanted to do when he was with his own wife. Was it another part of that bloody curse to have to say it to her own father? I had instantly begun to think so. "You want to kiss your wife when you're around her, don't you? Now think about that again."
"Oh."
"I can't. If I kiss her, it'll remove her magic. It'll remove her power. And that's why I can't be around her. Not now. Not until this bloody curse is broken. And I can't tell her about it. The witch wants me to do it. Told me to choose. Kiss her and take her magic or everybody she loves dies. But I can't do it. I won't. I won't take a part of Emma away from her. That's why I wanted to talk to you without too many people around to hear. If I told, she would kill you all. But, you need to know. You're the one who can look after them and get them the protection they will need because the witch will know I've told you. She has her spies everywhere. She'll find out and she'll come for you."
"That means she'll kill you too."
"I'm not a part of your little group."
"Yes, you are."
"What a pirate that has done what I have done?"
"You shouldn't have done what you did to Ariel and Eric. It was wrong and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. But you already know that. You admitted that. Am I upset about it? Yes. They're our friends. Of course I am. Am I disappointed? Yes. I am. I know you're better than that. You proved it over and over again in Neverland and since we got back with this curse of Zelena's. You weren't just a pirate being a pirate. You were a man who loved my daughter so much that it broke his heart to be apart from her and you tried what you thought best to mend it. It wasn't the right thing to do and it didn't help at all. I don't agree with what you did but I understand it. Despite what you did to our friends, you're also a man loved by my daughter who hasn't done anything near as bad as my grandson's adoptive mother and his grandfather. She cursed multiple realms. He has too long of a list I stopped keeping track a while back and I'm sure there's much more than that I don't know. I don't think I really want to know everything he's done. Truthfully, they make you look like a white knight when you compare what you've done to what they've done. They're still very much a part of our little group that we call a family. They've made quite a bit of progress in changing themselves for the better. Especially Regina. If they can do that and we can and have give them multiple chances, we can let you have a chance to make up for what you did to Ariel and Eric. You already have for being a pirate."
He gestured towards the stools to my right before walking over to them himself. Instead of taking one, he went to the large metal box behind the table in front of them. He opened it, reached in and took out two cylinder containers. The door to the box slowly closed itself as he got two glasses out of from one of the top cabinets. He returned to the table then proceed to open both cylinders and pour one into each glass.
"Ah, a drink."
"It's not rum. No alcohol in this house. Mary Margaret's expecting. It's just to be safe. It's called Pepsi. It's a sweet, sparkling drink. It does taste pretty good. Here," he replied as he gently pushed one of the full glasses to me. I took a sip and he was right. Sweet. Bubbly to where it tickles down my throat but it hadn't been unpleasant. "So, we covered what happened, how it happened and her threat to kill us all if you say anything and that would also mean you right along with the rest of us. That leaves breaking that curse she put on you."
"I'm open to suggestions," I sighed heavily as I gazed into my glass. The sound of his feet shuffling drew my eyes to him. His own eyes were thoughtful as they studied me. "What?"
"True love's kiss."
"Excuse me?"
"True love's kiss. Emma," he said again making me wince. Clearly he had seen it. "Hey. Zelena wants you to kiss her but true love's the most powerful magic in all the realms. If you were to kiss her, it would be a true love's kiss. Your curse would be broken and Emma would still keep her magic. It seems insane and stupid to me why she would give you a curse like that when that's the case. It's pointless."
"No it wouldn't since I tried it already. It couldn't break the memory spell Regina had put on her so there isn't any true love between us and her curse wasn't pointless. I may love Emma that way but she doesn't love me."
"The memory spell? You tried it while she still couldn't remember anything in New York?" he asked slowly. I could only nod in answer. "True love's kiss can't work if the person doesn't remember. They must of their memory of you and who they truly are. Trust me I know from experience."
"You had a memory spell on you?"
"No. Mary Margaret did. I was being forced to marry King Midas' daughter. Neither of us wanted to do it. I was going to run away with Mary Margaret so I told her to come meet me at the castle. When she got there, she told me she didn't love me, to go ahead with the wedding and left instead of what I had thought she had came for. I told her to come if she had felt the same as I did. After she left, I ran anyway. I was going to leave the kingdom but Midas' daughter got to me first. She actually aiding me but I fought out why she didn't want to marry me. Her true love was accidentally turned to gold by her father's touch while protecting them from an ambush. I decided to help her get hers back so I went to Lake Nostros and got the water needed to break his curse and return him to her. That convinced me to go after Mary Margaret and fight for her. When I found her, she had no memory of me. She had taken a potion to forget me and her love for me that she had gotten from Gold. But it also made her give in to her desire to get revenge on Regina. She was going to kill Regina. I tracked her down and tried true love's kiss. It didn't work. Instead, she knocked me out and tied me to a tree. Archie came and helped free me and he was the one who told me about that little catch. I had to get her to remember who she truly was before she could remember who I was and that she loved me allowing true love's kiss to work. It took catching up with her again and taking an arrow in the shoulder for Regina to get her to realize how much I loved her and that I would rather die than lose her to darkness for it to make her remember who she was. I had thought I lost her when she kissed me and the kiss did the rest and broke the spell. Little Charming family history lesson. Emma had to get her memory back before that would have worked. So, you two are still true loves and a true love's kiss between you will break your curse now that both of you have your memories intact. Let it break the curse. Stop avoiding her and tell her. Or Mary Margaret will as we both know all too well."
I winced at the reminder. The sight of Snow White stepping forward from between us in the jungle of Neverland flashed across my mind. Her mouth opening and hearing the sound of her voice as she told Emma Bae was alive when she agreed to keep it a secret for only a short time just to confirm it. Yes, Snow White would tell her beautiful daughter within moments of David telling her which he had just pointedly told me he was going to do.
Metal against metal rang through the air jerking me from the memory. Both David and I immediately turned our heads in the direction of the sound. The door handle turned and a moment later opened. I nearly fell off the stool at the sight of soft golden hair.
Emma...