The Price Paid
Inspired by:
Pieces, by Red &
하루 하루 by Big Bang
I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, nor the songs that inspired me to write this.
I always thought that what I wanted was unattainable. That my one goal in life might never be achieved, but I pushed for it anyways. I never gave up, even when I should have. I put myself through so much just to get back what was taken from me. I owed that much to my little brother. There were so many times in my life when I came close to death, or when I should have died, but every time I was somehow miraculously spared. Was this some sort of equivalency from all those times?
When the day finally came where my brother's body was returned to him, I couldn't have been happier in my life. To see his young eyes staring back up at me again. I heard his real voice for the first time in so many years and almost cried. He smiled like he always did before and hugged me. Nothing could bring me down, I thought then. But now I was paying the price for everything. Everything from my past that I hadn't paid for before.
I coughed into the sleeve of my jacket. People noticed I wasn't doing so well lately, but I told them all I was fine. It was better that they didn't know yet. I coughed again. This time, there were specks of blood dotting the already red cloth of my jacket. I looked up tiredly at the door in front of me. I would have groaned, but didn't have the energy to try. It seemed like all my energy had evaporated these days, and I just didn't have the will to do anything anymore.
I wrapped gently on Mustang's door. I didn't barge in like I usually would, didn't even walk in like I owned the place. I simply knocked and waited. I heard a deep voice call out "come in" before I opened the door slowly.
"You asked for me?" I said, my voice lower than usual as well. I felt exhausted just walking over here. Mustang lifted an eyebrow. I wasn't bothered enough to care.
"You alright, Elric?" he asked. I couldn't tell if he was being genuine or not, but it didn't really matter. I collapsed on the couch and leaned my head back against the soft cushion.
"I'm fine. What did you want to talk about?" Mustang was annoyed now, I could tell without even looking at him.
"I did have a mission for you, but I don't think I want you going out as you are," he said. My eyebrow twitched. Was he underestimating me?
"I'm fine," I said, forcing my voice to rise a bit, "just tell me about it." He looked skeptical but briefed me on the mission anyways. I nearly did groan this time as he went into detail about it. It required travelling. A lot of travelling. I'm too tired to travel…
"Alright," I said when he was finished. I took the folder from his hands and scanned it over one more time. "I'll get on it right away." I think he found my obedience rather odd, but I didn't want him thinking I was sick, either. It's not any of the bastard's business, anyways. God, I hated him sometimes.
I stared tiredly into his eyes, trying to appear more awake. When did his eyes turn into such… black holes? I felt like I was being sucked in as he continued staring back at me. Why were we staring anyways? I broke eye contact, but the action left me dizzy.
"Edward?" I heard him call, but I turned away from him. I moved for the door, still holding the folder in my hand but losing my grip on it as I stumbled away. My breathing became a bit shaky. I reached up and placed a hand gently on my forehead, which was pounding dangerously around in my skull. I took one more step forward, but this time, I saw the floor coming fast at me. Everything faded away as my vision turned to black.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Colonel, you've been in here for hours. You should really take a break," I just barely heard. Was that Hawkeye? What was she doing here? And the bastard, too? I couldn't hear his response; it was either muttered or far away. My hearing became stronger as my mind awoke more. An audible sigh from Hawkeye bounced off the walls of the room.
"I'll bring you a coffee," she said. I heard the clicking of her boots as she walked in her quick Hawkeye-like way. It was quiet now. What was Mustang doing? I struggled to open my eyes. The bright light filtered in and blinded me, making my eyes water. I grunted in annoyance, lifting an arm to wipe away the offending liquid. Something pulled at my arm as I tried to move it.
My quest for vision was finally rewarded as colors all swirled into focus. I saw Mustang looming above me, looking rather… worried? Why would he be worried?
"Where's… where's Al?" my voice cracked, it felt so dry. But that wasn't my priority.
"Al and Winry are on their way. They should be on the train out here now," the ebon haired man above me replied. I felt saddened for a moment, but it couldn't be helped. I struggled into an upwards position, Mustang trying to do the opposite and push me back down but I stubbornly refused.
"At least you haven't lost all of your spark," the older man said with a chuckle. I sent him a small glare before glancing down at whatever it was that had restricted me before.
"Hey, bastard..," I started quietly. He raised a brow.
"What is it?"
"Please tell me that isn't what I think it is," I said, staring down at the IV in my arm. I twitched, watching it with wide eyes. "Please tell me that isn't a ..needle." He didn't say anything. "Get. It. Out." I ground out, still staring at the offending pokey thing that was currently staring at me with its icky pointiness.
"Calm down, Ed. I can't take it out, its- hey don't pull it out!" Mustang yelled, stopping me from ripping the needle right out.
"Why not? I want it out! Take it out!" I whined, struggling against Mustang as he held me down. Five minutes of arguing and cursing later and I sat back in the ugly white infirmary bed with a victorious grin. The nurse took out the IV, against her better judgment. But who cares about the nurse's opinion? No one, that's who.
"You are so difficult, Edward." I rolled my eyes at the bastard. I wouldn't have had to be difficult if he would have just let me take it out in the first place.
Silence ensued. I looked out the window nearby, but I couldn't see anything out it. The blinds were closed. The silence brought with it a quiet pattering on the roof. I looked up at the ceiling curiously before turning to Mustang.
"Is it raining?" I asked him.
"Yeah." I wanted to ask him if I could see it, but I already put him through a lot. I started coughing, spots of blood decorating the sleeve of my hospital gown this time. I looked back at Mustang. He looked sad, but that might have just been my imagination. I stared at the closed window wishfully.
"You want me to pull up the blinds?" he offered. I blinked, a bit put off by his kindness, but nodded my head. He stood up and pulled up the blinds, and I sighed in content as I could finally see the outside world. I fell back against my pillow, suddenly exhausted as I watched the soothing rain outside fall.
"Hey, Mustang?" I called out, closing my eyes. I was getting really tired for some reason.
"Yeah, Ed?" he responded softly.
"Tell Al I'm sorry I couldn't wait for him," I said. My voice trembled a bit as it became harder for me to talk. I wouldn't give up until he promised, though.
"What are you talking about?" he asked, I opened my eyes and turned my head to him. I could tell he knew what I was talking about, he just didn't want to hear it.
"He's not going to get here in time. Tell him and Winry that I'm sorry for not waiting. I'm just really tired," I sighed.
"You're going to make it Edward. Stop talking like that," he said firmly. He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself. He grabbed onto my hand and stared directly into my half-lidded eyes.
"Who are you trying to convince, Roy?" I asked him. He looked hurt, and if I didn't know better, I would say he looked like he was actually about to cry. I squeezed his hand gently. "It's okay. I knew all of my past sins would catch up with me some day. I accepted that when I started all this."
"You're not leaving," he insisted. I would have rolled my eyes under any other circumstance.
"Please, Roy. Just tell him that. And look after him, also. He's my entire world, just promise me." He looked away from me now, but finally nodded his head in affirmation. I smiled and tugged on his hand. I felt myself slipping away slowly. I had to say one more thing, but I felt a little hesitant to say it. The silence was deafening as I continued to fall ever closer to that permanent unconsciousness. I sighed; it was now or never.
"I love you, Roy," I whispered, coughing once more and then turning my gaze to him. He didn't look at me nor did he say anything. I looked back up at the ceiling, sadly. At least he knew now, and that's all that really mattered. My breathing got heavier, and inhaling became harder and harder. My vision was blurring… any second now I would be gone from the world.
Before I even knew it was happening, something soft touched my lips. I realized now that something was blocking my view of the ceiling, something dark. Roy's lips brushed against my own so gently that I hardly even knew he was there. It was such a loving and careful kiss, and I felt at peace then. Soft hair tickled my forehead, and I had the urge to run my hand through it, but I was still so tired. Too tired.
He pulled away just after I felt something hot and wet drop onto my cheek. "I love you, Edward Elric," he whispered in my ear. I smiled as I fell even further into darkness. But it was okay, because everything was right now. Everything would be just fine.
I felt the need to write a sad-ish fic. It's been raining all day today and I felt in the mood for it.
I've also always wanted to write a RoyEd. Feedback?