Real World: Anime Style! By: SilverDust
Discalimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or Sailor Moon.
Usagi: *wakes up* *crawls out of bed and walks to bathroom* *looks down at bathroom floor*
NOT AGAIN!
Minako: *runs into bathroom* Usagi! What is it?!
Usagi: *points to dead Oz soldier on the floor* YOU SEE THAT?! YOU SEE THAT, MINAKO?! THAT IS THE FIFTH TIME THIS WEEK! I'VE HAD IT!
*Trowa walks down the hall to the bathroom to see what the screaming is all about*
Usagi: *turns to Trowa* Trowa! Why don't you stop him from doing this every night?!
Trowa: *shrugs* Heero will do what he wants to do. I can't stop him. *walks away with his plush fuzzy lion slippers squeaking all the way behind him*
Usagi: HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
*Minako falls on floor from the immense power of Usagi's scream*
*Heero walks down the hall and looks in*
Usagi: *points to dead Oz soldier* THAT is the LAST time! Do you HEAR me! Minako and I have been cleaning up your messes for WAY too long!
*Heero gives Usagi the Yuy Glare of Death™*
Usagi: *sweatdrop* EEP! *runs out of bathroom*
In the kitchen...
*Trowa is making breakfast*
Rei: Seriously, Trowa! I can do the cooking!
Trowa: *ignores Rei and keeps cooking*
Rei: *shrugs*
Duo: *walks into kitchen* Ohayo, minna!
Rei: Ohayo, Duo!
Usagi: *runs into kitchen* *runs right into fridge and falls down*
Duo: *walks over and looks down at Usagi* Daijoubu?
Usagi: *sweatdrops*
Duo: *walks over to where Trowa is cooking* So, what's for breakfast? *looks into pan* *sees Quatre-shaped pancakes* *sweatdrops*
Usagi: *stands up* *rubs head* Ow......
Rei: Usagi, you are such a baka! If you'd stop yelling at Heero the bumps on your head, if there could possibly even be more, would decrease!
Usagi: *glares at Rei* Well, YOU may enjoy waking up to the smell of dried blood,Rei, but I do NOT!
Rei: *rolls her eyes*
Usagi: *looks throughout the cupboard* Hey! Where did all the Oreo's go?
Rei: Yeah. The whipped cream AND the chocolate syrup are gone too.
Duo: *whistles and backs away from the group rembering how it was so hard to get those chocolate stains out of the sheets*
Heero: *walks into the kitchen*
Usagi: Heero! I want you to stop ignoring me! I'm sick of it! I REALLY am!
Heero: *ignores Usagi and starts to clean his bloody knife*
Usagi: Heero, I'm SERIOUS! Don't you have another place to dump these bodies?
Heero: *continues to ignore Usagi*
Usagi: HEERO! HEEEERRRROOOO!
Duo: Would you shut up?! You're ALMOST as annoying as Relena!
*Minako enters kitchen*
Usagi: Heero, you hard ass! I want you to stop and list-
Before Usagi has a chance to finish her sentence Heero gives a double patented Yuy Glare of Death™
Usagi: *hides under counter*
Heero: *turns back to washing his knife*
Usagi: I SWEAR Heero! One of these days omae o korosu!
*everyone starts to laugh histerically*
Duo: Y- *giggle* Y-you *laugh* K-kill *laughs uncontrolably* H-Heero?!
Trowa: *a slight grin appears on his face as he lets out a small chuckle*
Usagi: WHAT?! I COULD KILL HEERO!
*everyone falls on floor, clutching their sides in laughter* *amazingly Trowa is actually laughing!*
Duo: Please! *laugh* I can't take it anymore! *clutches at his side as tears of laughter stream down his face*
Usagi: Why must you all mock me! *runs to her room, crying*
The next afternoon....
Rei: *walks to bathroom door with headphones on* *opens door and walks in* *starts to get ready to shower when...*
Rei: *opens shower curtain, headphones still on*
Duo: O.O
Rei: O.O
Duo: AAAHHH!!!
Rei: AAAHHH!!!
Duo: *takes curtain and wraps it around himself as best as possible*
Duo: GET OUT!
Duo: *slips and falls as Rei runs screaming out the door*
Rei: *runs into living room*
Minako: Rei-chan?
Rei: *crashes right into Minako*
Minako: *pushes Rei off her*
Minako: What is it?!
Rei: D-D-Du! *points to bathroom and starts making strange symbols with her fingers*
Minako: Uh......
Rei: *makes out story with fingers* *as the part where she sees Duo "private parts" a small flame erupts and extinguishes*
Minako: AAHH!!
Rei: AAHH!!
Minako: Where did that come from?!
Rei: *shrugs*
Minako: So, let me guess. You saw Duo nake-?
Rei: *slaps hand over Minako's mouth*
Rei: Don't say that!!!
Minako: Well, it's what happened isn't it?!
Rei: *nods*
Duo: *walks into room with hair wrapped in a towel and clothes on*
Rei: EEP!
Duo: *looks at Rei* HEY! YOU are the one who walks into bathrooms when people are in them!!!
Rei: I didn't know you were in there!!!
Duo: How COULDN'T you?! The water was on! You could've heard it!
Rei: I had my headphones on!
Duo: Don't EVER do that AGAIN!
Rei: I WON'T!
Minako: *sweatdrop*
Minako: Why don't we forget this all happened? Okay?
Rei: *looks at Duo*
Duo:*looks at Rei*
Rei & Duo: Fine.
The next morning...
Rei: It was so long and smooth, ya know?
It was so thick,
And it gleamed in the water,
Do you think I could touch it?
Duo: *sweatdrops* *scoots away from Rei*
Rei: Maybe I could braid it for you sometime?
Duo: *sighs with relief*
That night...
Usagi: *falls out of bed from the vibrations coming through the wall* OW!
*walks into the hall and opens the door to the room next to hers*
There, jumping on the bed, is a naked Duo, and Heero, also naked, lying stretched out on the bed.
Usagi's jaw dropped like when you push Joey Fatone out a window. Fast and Hard.
Usagi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!
Rei: *runs into the hall* WHAT'S WRONG?! *sees the naked duo on the bed*
MY EYES! THEY BURN!
Trowa: *walks to the room with a Polaroid camera* Say 'Cheese'! *snaps picture after picture of the shocked pair*
Heero: Baka! Close the door!
Duo: *tries to cover himself with the sheets, gets entangled, falls on the floor, trying to reach the door*
Trowa: *laughs* This'll DEFINITELY get you guys back for the time you tutued my gundam!
Heero: TROWA! OMAE O KOROSU!!!
Trowa: *laughs* *walks back to his room*
Minako: *walks into the room* WHAT THE FUCK?!!
Usagi and Rei: * speachless *
Minako: *sees the peanut butter on the floor with it's lid open*
Is THAT why it was half empty yesterday?!
Duo: *nods*
Minako: *remembers the peanut butter sandwich she had yesterday* *face turns green* OH MY GOD!!!
Minako: *runs into the bathroom* *trips over a lifeless Oz soldier* *hits her head on the bath tub*
Usagi: *runs to the bathroom* MINAKO! *looks at the two pilots* *points to the unconcious Minako* LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!
Rei: *runs to Minako* OH SHIT! SHE'S BLEEDING!
Trowa: *at bathroom door* We need to get her to the hospital.
Duo: *runs in putting his boxers on*
Rei: *looks at Duo* Silk boxers with red scythes and skulls?!
Duo: Naked pictures of Wufei in your closet?!
Rei: HOW'D YOU KNOW?!
Heero: *walks in* *NO boxers* Naked pictures of Wufei?
Duo: She's got a WHOLE box-full of 'em hidden in her closet.
Heero: Who's closet?
Duo: *points at Rei*
Rei: *turns a full three shades of red*
Usagi: ANYWAY, help me get Minako into the car! *points at Duo and Heero* YOU two will stay in the BACK!
Heero: *shrugs* Fine with me.
Usagi & Rei: *realizes that Heero's current fashion statement was a little bit bare* GET SOME CLOTHES ON!
Heero: *shrugs* *puts on the black spandex and green tanktop bit*
Duo & Usagi: *pick up Minako* *walk into the garage* *throws Minako in the passenger side*
Rei: Okay, Trowa, you drive. Usagi and I will try to help Minako. AND you two! *looks at Duo and Heero* do us ALL a favor and keep your clothes on!
They all pile into the car.
At the hospital...
Rei and Usagi look over Minako as the gundam pilots stand in a corner.
Trowa: Honestly, you guys could have kept it down.
Duo: Heero wanted to play Alice In Wonderland....
Trowa: What?
Heero: Actually, Trowa, this is none of your buisness.
Duo: C'mon, Trowa! What about all the times you and Quatre played circus together?!
Trowa: *eyes widen* *looks at Duo so quick it would have given any normal person whip-lash*
Heero: You shouldn't be surprised. Remember that time you somersaulted through you closed door into our room.
Trowa: I don't remember that ever happening!
Duo: Well, it took a while for you to wake up and you had drunk a LOT of Whiskey.
Heero: Doctors said you had a concussion.
Suddenly...
Voice: Why do I have a picture of acrobating bottles of whiskey in my mind?
Rei and Usagi: MINAKO!
*both girls glomp Minako in her bed*
Usagi: Are you okay?
Rei: Do you need anything?
Minako: I'd like a glass of wine, for starters.
Rei: Sorry, no alchohol for awhile after taking that medication.
Minako: Shimatta....
Duo: So, you awake?
Minako: I guess so...
Rei: *hands Minako a glass of water* Here. Drink this.
Minako: *takes cup* Arigato, Rei-chan.
Rei: *smiles*
Usagi: Are you okay?
Minako: As long as I NEVER see peanut butter ever again, I'll be fine.
A couple of days later...
Duo sits on the couch watching TV, when all of a sudden...
WHAM!
~~~~~~~~~
Duo opens his eyes groggily. His eyes were blurry, and his head pounded. He looks up and sees a VERY drunk Usagi holding a bottle of vodka.
Duo: Na.....Nani?
Usagi laughs evily. Duo tries to move his arms, but they are bound to his side. His legs won't move, either. He looked at the ropes binding him to the chair. Next to his feat he sees a shattered bottle of vodka. That must be why his head hurt so much.
Duo: What are you doing?
Usagi: *laughs evily* Take a look at THIS!
Usagi put a novelty sized mirror up to Duo's face. His hair...his hair...(Now at this moment you're probably thinking his hair had been cut, but, I am not a cheap writer! I know better! *laughs evily* *chokes* *gasps for air* *smiles*)
Duo's hair had been brushed out, and two large peices had been braided back to connect at the crown of his head. He had the same hairstyle as (dramatic drum-roll) Relena PeaceCraft! (DUN DUN DUN!)
Duo: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Usagi: *laughs evily*
Duo: YOU PSYCHOTIC BITCH!!! HOW COULD YOU TORTURE ME LIKE THIS?!
Usagi: Easy! *laughs evily*
Rei and Minako are also bound to chairs.Their hair had been reconstructed into odangos.
Rei: Don't make any sudden movements, Duo!
Minako: Trust us! We've seen her like this before!
Usagi: SHUT UP! The both of you!
Usagi waves a bottle of vodka from side to side. Duo looked down to see seven other empty bottles near the door. O.O
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Usagi swayed over to the door and opened it.
Usagi: Ho~la?!
SilverDust: Hello! I'm Silverdust! The writer of this fanfic!
Usagi: Huh?
SilverDust walks into the room and looks around.
SilverDust: I REALLY should have put a jacuzzi over there.
Usagi looks at the girl with long, white hair, and red eyes blanky.
SilverDust: ANYWAY, *pulls out a strange looking gun*
Usagi: What is that?
SilverDust: This is the Chibi-Tizer 3000! It can turn ANYTHING or ANYONE Chibi! Great invention, ne?
Usagi: So, what do you want?
SilverDust points the gun at Usagi and shoots. In a puff of smoke, Usagi was now, Chibi Usagi!
Confused and shocked, Chibi Usagi sits down with a chibi THUMP!
SilverDust: Oh! How cute! Now *looks at Duo* for you!
SilverDust points the gun at the bond American and shoots! In a puff of smoke, Duo is now chibi!
SilverDust: *squeals* You are SO cute! Well, I gotta go! Sayanara!
In a shower of sparks and red glitter SilverDust disappears.
Chibi Duo, now smaller, easily slipped out of bondage and chibi hopped onto the floor.
Chibi Usagi, who wasn't used to being chibi that often, started to whine as loud as possible. And since Usagi was now chibi, her high voice shook the house.
Chibi Usagi: WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
The vibrations knocked the other two girls tied to the chairs to fall on the ground.
Rei and Minako: OW!OW!OW!OW!
Chibi Duo: You call that a whine?! You suck!
Chibi Usagi glared at Chibi Duo, flames in her eyes.
Chibi Usagi: Oh, yeah?!
Chibi Duo: I could do MUCH better.
Chibi Usagi: WE'LL see about THAT!
The two chibis glared at each other, murder in their eyes. Both the chibis took a DEEP breath. And SCCCRRREEEEEAAAMMMMEEEDDDD!!!!!!!
The two combined chibi screams shook the entire house, causing ALL glass objects to shatter into peices. They both would have continued if the door hadn't oppened. In walked Heero. Staring down at the two chibis.
Chibi Duo: HHHEEERRROOO!!!
The cutest chibi smile of all chibi smiles slashed across Chibi Duo's face as he glomped onto Heero's leg. Heero looked down at Chibi Duo, his eyes widening.
Heero: D-D-Duo! Y-Y-Y-Your! H-H-H-Hair!
Chibi Duo looked at his hair which was too Peacecraft to bear. Chibi Duo QUICKLY undid the ugly look and braided his hair QUITE quickly. (When you're chibi, your speed is increased ten-fold. ESPECIALLY Chibi Duo's)
Heero let out a sigh of relief. Heero, unable to resist Chibi Duo's charm, (C'mon! NO one is THAT strong! Not even Heero!) picked up the little chibi and placed him on his neck.
Chibi Usagi stared up blankly at Heero, her BIG chibi (Oximoron, I know) blue eyes grew wider and she started to look a little green.
BLECH!
Heero had never been vomited up on by another person. Everyone looked at him, waiting for Chibi Usagi's death sentence.
In his training, Heero had NEVER been taught at how to handle a chibi vomiting on you from drinking too much vodka. Calmly, Heero placed Chibi Duo down, went to the bathroom, took a quick shower, changed, pulled out his cellphone, called Mamoru to come by, laid down on his bed, and fell asleep.
Thirty minutes later...
DING DONG! Heero woke up and opened the door.
Mamoru: Ohayo, Heero.
Heero said nothing and pointed to the wide-eyed Chibi Usagi standing next to the Chibi-Duo as they sang a cute children's song.
Chibi Duo: PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGON!
Chibi Usagi: LIVED BY THE SEA!
Chibi Duo and Chibi Usagi: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA, TE DEE!
Focusing both her chibi eyes on Mamoru, Chibi Usagi grinned and glomped him. Chibi Duo climbed Heero's back and latched himself onto Heero's neck.
Suddenly, a dark figure walked into the hall carrying a strange-looking gun.
SilverDust: Oh, hey minna!
Mamoru: Who are you?
SilverDust: I am SilverDust! I turned those two chibi there, and now since their chibiness has been lived out, I'm gonna set this thing on de-chibi-tizer and do this!
SilverDust shot both Chibi Usagi and Chibi Duo. In a puff of smoke and lights, they had BOTH transformed back to their normal selves.Unfortunately, Heero was not prepared for the sudden weight change, and toppled backward.
Heero: Baka! Get off my neck!
Suddenly....
Mysterious voice: I RECOGNIZE THAT HUSKY VOICE ANYWHERE!
Suddenly, running to the door, the most annoying stalker in the world, Relena PeaceCraft!! (*various screams of terror are heard in the background*)
Shimatta! I KNEW I should have increased security around her cell! thought Heero.
Relena: OH, HHEEEEERRRROOO! I'VE FOUND YOU!
Heero: BAKA! CLOSE THE DOOR!
But, before anyone could move, Relena had tumbled into the house.
Relena: You do NOT know how hard it was to find you Heero!
Heero: Relena.
Relena: Hai, my little snaggle-muffin?
Duo: *laughing* SNAGGLE-MUFFIN?! *laugh* OH, THAT IS RICH!
Heero: *stuffs the end of Duo's braid into his mouth*
Relena: Go ahead, Heero. Tell me that you love me or you'll be stalked for the rest of your life, and if you kill me another war will start!
Heero: Shimatta! Omae o korosu!
Relena: Uh, Uh, Uh!
Usagi: Think again, bitch! Omae o korosu!
Usagi, pulling a gun out of the Yuy Spandex Zone™, pointed it at Relena, and shot multiple times! (*cries of joy can be heard in background*)
Relena falls back, dead!
SilverDust walks over to the body, and kicks it.
SilverDust: Dead as Disco!
Rei: Finally, Usagi does something right!
Minako: Are you sure that happened? Could that be a halucination? A WONDERFUL hallucination?!
Duo: Nope!
Heero looks done at the body, the biggest smile crossed his lips. Suddenly, to everyone's horror, Heero started to laugh....I mean laugh..as in you're watching Chris Rock laugh.....an actual pure, human laugh!
Everyone minus Heero: O.O
That night
Rei and Minako are STILL bound to chairs in the living room.
Rei: They NEVER help the side characters, do they? No! It's ALL about the main characters!
Minako: Don't worry, Rei. They'll untie us, eventually.....
The End ^^;;
Discalimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or Sailor Moon.
Usagi: *wakes up* *crawls out of bed and walks to bathroom* *looks down at bathroom floor*
NOT AGAIN!
Minako: *runs into bathroom* Usagi! What is it?!
Usagi: *points to dead Oz soldier on the floor* YOU SEE THAT?! YOU SEE THAT, MINAKO?! THAT IS THE FIFTH TIME THIS WEEK! I'VE HAD IT!
*Trowa walks down the hall to the bathroom to see what the screaming is all about*
Usagi: *turns to Trowa* Trowa! Why don't you stop him from doing this every night?!
Trowa: *shrugs* Heero will do what he wants to do. I can't stop him. *walks away with his plush fuzzy lion slippers squeaking all the way behind him*
Usagi: HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
*Minako falls on floor from the immense power of Usagi's scream*
*Heero walks down the hall and looks in*
Usagi: *points to dead Oz soldier* THAT is the LAST time! Do you HEAR me! Minako and I have been cleaning up your messes for WAY too long!
*Heero gives Usagi the Yuy Glare of Death™*
Usagi: *sweatdrop* EEP! *runs out of bathroom*
In the kitchen...
*Trowa is making breakfast*
Rei: Seriously, Trowa! I can do the cooking!
Trowa: *ignores Rei and keeps cooking*
Rei: *shrugs*
Duo: *walks into kitchen* Ohayo, minna!
Rei: Ohayo, Duo!
Usagi: *runs into kitchen* *runs right into fridge and falls down*
Duo: *walks over and looks down at Usagi* Daijoubu?
Usagi: *sweatdrops*
Duo: *walks over to where Trowa is cooking* So, what's for breakfast? *looks into pan* *sees Quatre-shaped pancakes* *sweatdrops*
Usagi: *stands up* *rubs head* Ow......
Rei: Usagi, you are such a baka! If you'd stop yelling at Heero the bumps on your head, if there could possibly even be more, would decrease!
Usagi: *glares at Rei* Well, YOU may enjoy waking up to the smell of dried blood,Rei, but I do NOT!
Rei: *rolls her eyes*
Usagi: *looks throughout the cupboard* Hey! Where did all the Oreo's go?
Rei: Yeah. The whipped cream AND the chocolate syrup are gone too.
Duo: *whistles and backs away from the group rembering how it was so hard to get those chocolate stains out of the sheets*
Heero: *walks into the kitchen*
Usagi: Heero! I want you to stop ignoring me! I'm sick of it! I REALLY am!
Heero: *ignores Usagi and starts to clean his bloody knife*
Usagi: Heero, I'm SERIOUS! Don't you have another place to dump these bodies?
Heero: *continues to ignore Usagi*
Usagi: HEERO! HEEEERRRROOOO!
Duo: Would you shut up?! You're ALMOST as annoying as Relena!
*Minako enters kitchen*
Usagi: Heero, you hard ass! I want you to stop and list-
Before Usagi has a chance to finish her sentence Heero gives a double patented Yuy Glare of Death™
Usagi: *hides under counter*
Heero: *turns back to washing his knife*
Usagi: I SWEAR Heero! One of these days omae o korosu!
*everyone starts to laugh histerically*
Duo: Y- *giggle* Y-you *laugh* K-kill *laughs uncontrolably* H-Heero?!
Trowa: *a slight grin appears on his face as he lets out a small chuckle*
Usagi: WHAT?! I COULD KILL HEERO!
*everyone falls on floor, clutching their sides in laughter* *amazingly Trowa is actually laughing!*
Duo: Please! *laugh* I can't take it anymore! *clutches at his side as tears of laughter stream down his face*
Usagi: Why must you all mock me! *runs to her room, crying*
The next afternoon....
Rei: *walks to bathroom door with headphones on* *opens door and walks in* *starts to get ready to shower when...*
Rei: *opens shower curtain, headphones still on*
Duo: O.O
Rei: O.O
Duo: AAAHHH!!!
Rei: AAAHHH!!!
Duo: *takes curtain and wraps it around himself as best as possible*
Duo: GET OUT!
Duo: *slips and falls as Rei runs screaming out the door*
Rei: *runs into living room*
Minako: Rei-chan?
Rei: *crashes right into Minako*
Minako: *pushes Rei off her*
Minako: What is it?!
Rei: D-D-Du! *points to bathroom and starts making strange symbols with her fingers*
Minako: Uh......
Rei: *makes out story with fingers* *as the part where she sees Duo "private parts" a small flame erupts and extinguishes*
Minako: AAHH!!
Rei: AAHH!!
Minako: Where did that come from?!
Rei: *shrugs*
Minako: So, let me guess. You saw Duo nake-?
Rei: *slaps hand over Minako's mouth*
Rei: Don't say that!!!
Minako: Well, it's what happened isn't it?!
Rei: *nods*
Duo: *walks into room with hair wrapped in a towel and clothes on*
Rei: EEP!
Duo: *looks at Rei* HEY! YOU are the one who walks into bathrooms when people are in them!!!
Rei: I didn't know you were in there!!!
Duo: How COULDN'T you?! The water was on! You could've heard it!
Rei: I had my headphones on!
Duo: Don't EVER do that AGAIN!
Rei: I WON'T!
Minako: *sweatdrop*
Minako: Why don't we forget this all happened? Okay?
Rei: *looks at Duo*
Duo:*looks at Rei*
Rei & Duo: Fine.
The next morning...
Rei: It was so long and smooth, ya know?
It was so thick,
And it gleamed in the water,
Do you think I could touch it?
Duo: *sweatdrops* *scoots away from Rei*
Rei: Maybe I could braid it for you sometime?
Duo: *sighs with relief*
That night...
Usagi: *falls out of bed from the vibrations coming through the wall* OW!
*walks into the hall and opens the door to the room next to hers*
There, jumping on the bed, is a naked Duo, and Heero, also naked, lying stretched out on the bed.
Usagi's jaw dropped like when you push Joey Fatone out a window. Fast and Hard.
Usagi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!
Rei: *runs into the hall* WHAT'S WRONG?! *sees the naked duo on the bed*
MY EYES! THEY BURN!
Trowa: *walks to the room with a Polaroid camera* Say 'Cheese'! *snaps picture after picture of the shocked pair*
Heero: Baka! Close the door!
Duo: *tries to cover himself with the sheets, gets entangled, falls on the floor, trying to reach the door*
Trowa: *laughs* This'll DEFINITELY get you guys back for the time you tutued my gundam!
Heero: TROWA! OMAE O KOROSU!!!
Trowa: *laughs* *walks back to his room*
Minako: *walks into the room* WHAT THE FUCK?!!
Usagi and Rei: * speachless *
Minako: *sees the peanut butter on the floor with it's lid open*
Is THAT why it was half empty yesterday?!
Duo: *nods*
Minako: *remembers the peanut butter sandwich she had yesterday* *face turns green* OH MY GOD!!!
Minako: *runs into the bathroom* *trips over a lifeless Oz soldier* *hits her head on the bath tub*
Usagi: *runs to the bathroom* MINAKO! *looks at the two pilots* *points to the unconcious Minako* LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!
Rei: *runs to Minako* OH SHIT! SHE'S BLEEDING!
Trowa: *at bathroom door* We need to get her to the hospital.
Duo: *runs in putting his boxers on*
Rei: *looks at Duo* Silk boxers with red scythes and skulls?!
Duo: Naked pictures of Wufei in your closet?!
Rei: HOW'D YOU KNOW?!
Heero: *walks in* *NO boxers* Naked pictures of Wufei?
Duo: She's got a WHOLE box-full of 'em hidden in her closet.
Heero: Who's closet?
Duo: *points at Rei*
Rei: *turns a full three shades of red*
Usagi: ANYWAY, help me get Minako into the car! *points at Duo and Heero* YOU two will stay in the BACK!
Heero: *shrugs* Fine with me.
Usagi & Rei: *realizes that Heero's current fashion statement was a little bit bare* GET SOME CLOTHES ON!
Heero: *shrugs* *puts on the black spandex and green tanktop bit*
Duo & Usagi: *pick up Minako* *walk into the garage* *throws Minako in the passenger side*
Rei: Okay, Trowa, you drive. Usagi and I will try to help Minako. AND you two! *looks at Duo and Heero* do us ALL a favor and keep your clothes on!
They all pile into the car.
At the hospital...
Rei and Usagi look over Minako as the gundam pilots stand in a corner.
Trowa: Honestly, you guys could have kept it down.
Duo: Heero wanted to play Alice In Wonderland....
Trowa: What?
Heero: Actually, Trowa, this is none of your buisness.
Duo: C'mon, Trowa! What about all the times you and Quatre played circus together?!
Trowa: *eyes widen* *looks at Duo so quick it would have given any normal person whip-lash*
Heero: You shouldn't be surprised. Remember that time you somersaulted through you closed door into our room.
Trowa: I don't remember that ever happening!
Duo: Well, it took a while for you to wake up and you had drunk a LOT of Whiskey.
Heero: Doctors said you had a concussion.
Suddenly...
Voice: Why do I have a picture of acrobating bottles of whiskey in my mind?
Rei and Usagi: MINAKO!
*both girls glomp Minako in her bed*
Usagi: Are you okay?
Rei: Do you need anything?
Minako: I'd like a glass of wine, for starters.
Rei: Sorry, no alchohol for awhile after taking that medication.
Minako: Shimatta....
Duo: So, you awake?
Minako: I guess so...
Rei: *hands Minako a glass of water* Here. Drink this.
Minako: *takes cup* Arigato, Rei-chan.
Rei: *smiles*
Usagi: Are you okay?
Minako: As long as I NEVER see peanut butter ever again, I'll be fine.
A couple of days later...
Duo sits on the couch watching TV, when all of a sudden...
WHAM!
~~~~~~~~~
Duo opens his eyes groggily. His eyes were blurry, and his head pounded. He looks up and sees a VERY drunk Usagi holding a bottle of vodka.
Duo: Na.....Nani?
Usagi laughs evily. Duo tries to move his arms, but they are bound to his side. His legs won't move, either. He looked at the ropes binding him to the chair. Next to his feat he sees a shattered bottle of vodka. That must be why his head hurt so much.
Duo: What are you doing?
Usagi: *laughs evily* Take a look at THIS!
Usagi put a novelty sized mirror up to Duo's face. His hair...his hair...(Now at this moment you're probably thinking his hair had been cut, but, I am not a cheap writer! I know better! *laughs evily* *chokes* *gasps for air* *smiles*)
Duo's hair had been brushed out, and two large peices had been braided back to connect at the crown of his head. He had the same hairstyle as (dramatic drum-roll) Relena PeaceCraft! (DUN DUN DUN!)
Duo: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Usagi: *laughs evily*
Duo: YOU PSYCHOTIC BITCH!!! HOW COULD YOU TORTURE ME LIKE THIS?!
Usagi: Easy! *laughs evily*
Rei and Minako are also bound to chairs.Their hair had been reconstructed into odangos.
Rei: Don't make any sudden movements, Duo!
Minako: Trust us! We've seen her like this before!
Usagi: SHUT UP! The both of you!
Usagi waves a bottle of vodka from side to side. Duo looked down to see seven other empty bottles near the door. O.O
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Usagi swayed over to the door and opened it.
Usagi: Ho~la?!
SilverDust: Hello! I'm Silverdust! The writer of this fanfic!
Usagi: Huh?
SilverDust walks into the room and looks around.
SilverDust: I REALLY should have put a jacuzzi over there.
Usagi looks at the girl with long, white hair, and red eyes blanky.
SilverDust: ANYWAY, *pulls out a strange looking gun*
Usagi: What is that?
SilverDust: This is the Chibi-Tizer 3000! It can turn ANYTHING or ANYONE Chibi! Great invention, ne?
Usagi: So, what do you want?
SilverDust points the gun at Usagi and shoots. In a puff of smoke, Usagi was now, Chibi Usagi!
Confused and shocked, Chibi Usagi sits down with a chibi THUMP!
SilverDust: Oh! How cute! Now *looks at Duo* for you!
SilverDust points the gun at the bond American and shoots! In a puff of smoke, Duo is now chibi!
SilverDust: *squeals* You are SO cute! Well, I gotta go! Sayanara!
In a shower of sparks and red glitter SilverDust disappears.
Chibi Duo, now smaller, easily slipped out of bondage and chibi hopped onto the floor.
Chibi Usagi, who wasn't used to being chibi that often, started to whine as loud as possible. And since Usagi was now chibi, her high voice shook the house.
Chibi Usagi: WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
The vibrations knocked the other two girls tied to the chairs to fall on the ground.
Rei and Minako: OW!OW!OW!OW!
Chibi Duo: You call that a whine?! You suck!
Chibi Usagi glared at Chibi Duo, flames in her eyes.
Chibi Usagi: Oh, yeah?!
Chibi Duo: I could do MUCH better.
Chibi Usagi: WE'LL see about THAT!
The two chibis glared at each other, murder in their eyes. Both the chibis took a DEEP breath. And SCCCRRREEEEEAAAMMMMEEEDDDD!!!!!!!
The two combined chibi screams shook the entire house, causing ALL glass objects to shatter into peices. They both would have continued if the door hadn't oppened. In walked Heero. Staring down at the two chibis.
Chibi Duo: HHHEEERRROOO!!!
The cutest chibi smile of all chibi smiles slashed across Chibi Duo's face as he glomped onto Heero's leg. Heero looked down at Chibi Duo, his eyes widening.
Heero: D-D-Duo! Y-Y-Y-Your! H-H-H-Hair!
Chibi Duo looked at his hair which was too Peacecraft to bear. Chibi Duo QUICKLY undid the ugly look and braided his hair QUITE quickly. (When you're chibi, your speed is increased ten-fold. ESPECIALLY Chibi Duo's)
Heero let out a sigh of relief. Heero, unable to resist Chibi Duo's charm, (C'mon! NO one is THAT strong! Not even Heero!) picked up the little chibi and placed him on his neck.
Chibi Usagi stared up blankly at Heero, her BIG chibi (Oximoron, I know) blue eyes grew wider and she started to look a little green.
BLECH!
Heero had never been vomited up on by another person. Everyone looked at him, waiting for Chibi Usagi's death sentence.
In his training, Heero had NEVER been taught at how to handle a chibi vomiting on you from drinking too much vodka. Calmly, Heero placed Chibi Duo down, went to the bathroom, took a quick shower, changed, pulled out his cellphone, called Mamoru to come by, laid down on his bed, and fell asleep.
Thirty minutes later...
DING DONG! Heero woke up and opened the door.
Mamoru: Ohayo, Heero.
Heero said nothing and pointed to the wide-eyed Chibi Usagi standing next to the Chibi-Duo as they sang a cute children's song.
Chibi Duo: PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGON!
Chibi Usagi: LIVED BY THE SEA!
Chibi Duo and Chibi Usagi: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA, TE DEE!
Focusing both her chibi eyes on Mamoru, Chibi Usagi grinned and glomped him. Chibi Duo climbed Heero's back and latched himself onto Heero's neck.
Suddenly, a dark figure walked into the hall carrying a strange-looking gun.
SilverDust: Oh, hey minna!
Mamoru: Who are you?
SilverDust: I am SilverDust! I turned those two chibi there, and now since their chibiness has been lived out, I'm gonna set this thing on de-chibi-tizer and do this!
SilverDust shot both Chibi Usagi and Chibi Duo. In a puff of smoke and lights, they had BOTH transformed back to their normal selves.Unfortunately, Heero was not prepared for the sudden weight change, and toppled backward.
Heero: Baka! Get off my neck!
Suddenly....
Mysterious voice: I RECOGNIZE THAT HUSKY VOICE ANYWHERE!
Suddenly, running to the door, the most annoying stalker in the world, Relena PeaceCraft!! (*various screams of terror are heard in the background*)
Shimatta! I KNEW I should have increased security around her cell! thought Heero.
Relena: OH, HHEEEEERRRROOO! I'VE FOUND YOU!
Heero: BAKA! CLOSE THE DOOR!
But, before anyone could move, Relena had tumbled into the house.
Relena: You do NOT know how hard it was to find you Heero!
Heero: Relena.
Relena: Hai, my little snaggle-muffin?
Duo: *laughing* SNAGGLE-MUFFIN?! *laugh* OH, THAT IS RICH!
Heero: *stuffs the end of Duo's braid into his mouth*
Relena: Go ahead, Heero. Tell me that you love me or you'll be stalked for the rest of your life, and if you kill me another war will start!
Heero: Shimatta! Omae o korosu!
Relena: Uh, Uh, Uh!
Usagi: Think again, bitch! Omae o korosu!
Usagi, pulling a gun out of the Yuy Spandex Zone™, pointed it at Relena, and shot multiple times! (*cries of joy can be heard in background*)
Relena falls back, dead!
SilverDust walks over to the body, and kicks it.
SilverDust: Dead as Disco!
Rei: Finally, Usagi does something right!
Minako: Are you sure that happened? Could that be a halucination? A WONDERFUL hallucination?!
Duo: Nope!
Heero looks done at the body, the biggest smile crossed his lips. Suddenly, to everyone's horror, Heero started to laugh....I mean laugh..as in you're watching Chris Rock laugh.....an actual pure, human laugh!
Everyone minus Heero: O.O
That night
Rei and Minako are STILL bound to chairs in the living room.
Rei: They NEVER help the side characters, do they? No! It's ALL about the main characters!
Minako: Don't worry, Rei. They'll untie us, eventually.....
The End ^^;;