All in the Family

by Leva

Elisa's cousin Nikki Taylor is in town; she's going to be a star if Elisa doesn't kill her first. Fairly clean, just some innuendo.

"All in the Family"
by Leva Mevis
leva@primenet.com

Written: October 1996

Author's Notes: This is one of my favorite stories -- older, but still
relevant. It was certainly one of the most fun to write; everybody has to
have at least one friend or relative like Nikki ... And no, I didn't
plan to give her the same last name as Christine Morgan's "Aunt Agnes"
-- in fact, both Christine's "Family Reunion" and my "All in the Family"
were posted within days of each other on the same mailing list. But
we ran with the coincidence in later stories. Christine's mentioned Nikki in a
number of her stories, and I've had a lot of fun borrowing Aunt Agnes
for mine. Great minds think alike, I guess.

* * * * *

"My lights are on." Elisa said, stiffening in Goliath's grasp.

"Did you perhaps leave them on?"

"No, I'm sure I turned them off." Elisa, in Goliath's arms, stared
down at her apartment, and fingered her gun nervously. Derek
could have stopped by, or Matt, or the trio ...

But Derek would have turned the lights off, Matt was out of town,
and they'd just left the trio at the castle. Elisa suffered a sudden
mental image of Demona breaking into her apartment, and fumbling
for the lights in the dark ... maybe stepping on Cagney ...

Goliath landed on the roof, and noiselessly set her down. Elisa, gun
drawn, flattened herself by the window. She reached out and
pushed the window open with her fingertip; it was never latched.

The pair exchanged looks, then both spun around to stare into the
apartment.

The lights were on but no one was home.

Elisa relaxed a little, then snorted, "I feel like the mama bear."

"What?"

"Someone's been eating my porridge." Elisa pointed to a dirty dish
on the table, where no dirty dish had been before.

"I'm certain Broadway has not been by here ..."

"Broadway cleans up after himself." Elisa stepped through the
window; Goliath shadowed her.

"Elisa? That you?" A voice called.

Elisa wordlessly mouthed an obscenity, and frantically shoved
Goliath towards the window.

"What? Who?" Goliath was slow on the uptake.

"Elisa! You brought a guy home! Hold on a second, I want to meet
him!"

Elisa closed her eyes. She would really have preferred Demona. If
she'd known ... Goldilocks ... was in her apartment, she'd have
camped out at Castle Wyvern until she went elsewhere. But it was
too late; the intruder stepped out of the bathroom. "Hi, cuz.
Thought I'd drop by.... eeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Nikki Taylor, Elisa's cousin, squealed and fainted.

Elisa rolled her eyes skyward. She really, really, really would have
preferred Demona. "Goliath," Elisa indicated the prone cousin,
"Meet Nikki, she's ... family."

* * * * *

It took Nikki about ten minutes to come around, which was long
enough for Elisa to convince Goliath that complete introductions
would have to wait, and that yes, she could handle Nikki alone. As
far as Elisa was concerned, introductions could wait a very long
time. And she was probably lying about being able to handle Nikki
alone.

"... monsters!" Nikki sat up on the couch with a gasp.

"Nikki, you're seeing things." Elisa informed her. "And you
embarrassed me."

"... oh. But I saw ... it was big, it was blue, it had wings ... and fangs
... and it was right behind you!"

"The only person behind me was my friend."

"... oh." Nikki paused, swung her legs over the edge of the couch,
and pouted, "I guess I made a fool of myself."

Elisa started to agree, then sighed. "Goliath has that effect on
people." Right. The first time she'd met Goliath, she'd fallen off
Castle Wyvern.

" I could have sworn ... oh, I feel so stupid!" Nikki's lower lip was
quivering. She twisted her necklace with a finger, playing with the
large gemstone pendant. "But I'm sure I saw ..."

Elisa's lips quirked upwards. "Goliath's an eight foot tall gargoyle
who turns to stone by day."

"Get real." Nikki snorted. "I must have imagined it ... where is he?"

"He left."

"Oh." Nikki's grinned, "Elisa, you have a boyfriend! That's
wonderful! Why haven't you told anyone?"

"Mom and Dad have met him, and Beth and Derek. And he's not
my boyfriend!" Elisa considered that denial for a moment. "Well ..."

"You just started seeing him, hey? But he's just right and ... oh,
believe me, I know the feeling. Tell me more, girl!"

"Actually, I've known Goliath for a long time." Elisa laughed.
"Almost three years. We've been through a lot together ... recently,
he ... has been more than a friend."

"Wow. Sounds like it's really serious. When can I meet him?"

Elisa avoided the question, "How long are you going to be in town?"

Nikki laced her hands behind her head. "I, girl, have a job here."

Elisa fought an urge to scream. "What? Doing what?"

"I'm going to be a stahhh." Nikki stood up, and struck a glamorous
pose.

Elisa snorted. "Yeah? A star?"

"Don't look so skeptical, cuz. I'm going to play Titania in a made-
for-TV production of a _Midsummer Night's Dream_..."

Elisa choked. Laughed. Howled.

"What!" Nikki demanded, outraged.

Elisa looked again at her cousin. And burst out laughing for a
second time.

"What?"

"Let's just ... let's just say ... you aren't how I picture Titania ..."

Nikki's eyes widened. "What? Why? Because I'm black?" She
looked furious.

Elisa threw her hands up. "That's not what I meant, Nikki, and you
should know that." She fought down irrational anger at Nikki's
accusation.

"What did you mean?"

Elisa sighed. "Let's just say the world's a weird place, and
Shakespeare knew it."

"Now you're talking in riddles." Nikki sniffed.

"Maybe." Elisa threw her hands up. "Probably. What are you doing
here?"

Nikki sighed, "Well, I was hoping you'd let me crash on your floor,
until I they can get me a trailer. We are family ..."

The window slid open, causing both girls to whirl around.

Nikki screamed, "I knew it! I knew I saw a monster! It's back!" She
retreated into the kitchen, where she snatched a steak knife out of
the sink, and waved in menacingly at the large panther who had
dropped through the window.

Derek snorted, "Chill out, Nikki."

Nikki screamed again.

"Nikki! Give me that before you hurt yourself!" Elisa efficiently
grabbed Nikki's wrist, twisted her arm, and relieved her of the knife.

Nikki gaped at Elisa. "It's a monster!"

"No, it's just Derek." Elisa jerked a thumb at her brother. "Ever
watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?"

"Watch what?"

No, Nikki had never watched a cartoon in her life. Nikki was too
cool for cartoons. Elisa sighed, "He had a run-in with a mad
scientist."

"I don't believe you."

Derek narrowed his golden eyes for a long moment, then folded his
arms. "Hey Elisa, I think this is better than the time we taught her to
snipe-hunt."

"Yeah. She believes in snipes, but not in human mutants."

"That wasn't funny!" Nikki protested. Then she looked from Derek
to Elisa and back again. "And this isn't funny, either."

"No, but your expression is priceless." Derek informed her. He
lounged against the counter, arms crossed, smiling faintly.

"Derek, you idiot!" Nikki recovered her dignity and glared at him. "I
could have killed you!"

Elisa and Derek both looked at the knife in Elisa's hand. They burst
out laughing. Elisa tossed the knife back into the sink. "With that
thing? You've got to be kidding."

"Would be ironic. Death by Nikki. After everything else we've been
through." Derek snorted. "So, Nikki, what are you doing here in
town?"

"I have a job ..." Nikki glared at Elisa.

Derek interjected, "... that's news."

"... I'm playing Queen Titania. In a television adaption of _A
Midsummer..."

Derek looked at her, looked at Elisa, looked back at Nikki. "Tell me
she's joking."

Elisa bit her lip, shook her head, and said, "Apparently not.
Congratulations are due, I guess. I know you've wanted to be an
actor for a long time, Nikki ... congratulations."

Derek scratched his head. "I guess it's all in the family."

"What's all in the family? Why do I have the feeling you two ..."
She flicked a glance at Derek, who was still a seven foot tall black
panther, but sounded very much like her cousin, "... are not telling
me the whole story?" She glanced again at Derek, uncertainty in her
eyes.

"Probably because we aren't. So what's new in that?" Derek reached
out and ruffled her carefully arranged hair. She ducked, flinching
away from his claws. Derek wiped his hand on his leg, and glanced
at Elisa, who rolled her eyes.

"Sometimes," Nikki sniffed, "I regret I'm related to you two."

* * * * *

Nikki had rehearsals the next night, which was fine with Elisa -- a
day of Nikki Taylor was enough for anyone, without throwing a
night into it, as well.

"So." Goliath stood on Elisa's roof, "You do not sound fond of your
cousin."

"Oh, Nikki's okay, in small doses. But ..." Elisa sighed. "She's ...
when we were little, it was always Nikki who had the cool friends,
the cool clothes, the cool hair; I ... it's complicated."

"You were jealous."

"God forbid." Elisa snorted.

Goliath gave her long look.

Elisa sighed; Goliath knew her so well that it was impossible to lie to
him. "Okay, well a little. But I can't *imagine* being like Nikki, nor
would I want to. Most of her world ... is fake." She struggled to
explain to Goliath, not sure he would understand. "But ... when I
was a kid, we went to the same high school."

Goliath waited, quietly, for her to explain.

"... Nikki ... next to her, I felt like a mouse. Sometimes she did
things to put me down, to make sure I *knew* I wasn't as pretty or
as popular as she is. You know, kid stuff. Not speaking to me,
telling me I embarrassed her in front of her friends, putting me
down in public -- and it made me *so* mad sometimes. Even when
I knew it was just Nikki being Nikki." Elisa sounded miserable.
"She's grown up ... somewhat, but sometimes ... well, I still feel like
that mousy thirteen year old."

Goliath reached out, stroked her hair back from her face. "Elisa..."

"Yeah, I know, it's stupid." She spun away from him. "Kid stuff. I'm
closer to thirty than thirteen. It shouldn't bother me now!"

Goliath's arms encircled her, he pulled her into a hug, tucked her
head under his jaw and settled his wings around her, "Elisa ... you
will always be special in my eyes."

"Yeah." She sniffed. "I know. Thanks."

He stroked her hair, "You are someone special."

Elisa sighed. "Yeah ... I've mostly forgiven Nikki." She stepped out
of his grasp, and summoned a return of her reserve. She hadn't
meant to dump on Goliath ... or reveal so much ...

"Will you introduce her to us?"

Relieved for a slight change in subject, Elisa laughed."Oh, sure, why
not?" She threw her hands in the air. "And next I'll introduce her to
Anastasia and tell her to take notes!"

"She is family, Elisa."

"She'd probably sell the story to the Enquirer."

Goliath chuckled, "We are already on the front page of the News."

"WHAT?"

Goliath sobered, "It is true. They made us sound like monsters, and
most of what they said was not true. I can not comprehend how ...
anyone can find profit in telling lies about another."

"Nobody believes those things."

"Yet people purchase them."

Elisa sighed and shook her head. "Honestly, Goliath, I'm not sure
that I can trust Nikki with our secret. She ... wouldn't deliberately
harm you guys, I don't think, but unintentionally ... she's a gossip.
Can't keep a secret for anything."

"There is not much of a secret left to keep."

Elisa nodded. "I tell you what -- she invited me by the set. When
they let her go, I'll bring her by the castle."

* * * * *

"My Oberon ... my Oberon ... shoot." Nikki shook her head in
frustration. "My Oberon, what visions have I seen! Methought I was
enamored of an ass."

Oberon, a tall young man who looked more like a Calvin Klein
model than the smurf-colored Lord of the Third Race, responded,
"There lies your love!"

Nikki pouted, "How came these things to pass? O, how mine eyes
do loathe his visage now ..." She snorted, and ad-libbed, "And I
really ought to divorce you, *you're* the ass!"

Elisa, watching, choked. Nikki looked up, waved, and then returned
to rehearsing.

Oberon ignored the interruption, except for a carefully theatrical
rolling of his eyes, "Silence awhile, Robin, take off this head ..."

Elisa realised Nikki wasn't half bad, but Oberon was rather
overplaying his part. She grinned; Oberon always overplayed his
part.

"That's enough for the night." The director shooed them off the
stage. He slapped Nikki on the rump with a script as she walked
past. She uttered a shrill squeal and threatened him playfully with an
upraised hand.

"Was I good or what?" Nikki bounced up to Elisa.

"Err ..."

The director joined them. "You were fabulous, dear. I was certain
that you were perfect for this role, and now I'm sure you are."

"Get out of here!" Nikki punched him in the arm, "Elisa, this is
Antony, my boyfriend. He's the director."

Elisa's eyebrows rose into her hair. Well, that explained how ... why
was she not suprised? "You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend ..."

Nikki shrugged and sniffed. "You didn't tell me about Goliath."

She had a point. "Well, if you want to meet Goliath, I'll introduce
you."

"Oh, okay. When?"

"Right now, if you want ..."

"Oh." Nikki frowned prettily. "I've got plans for the night. Maybe
later, cuz."

"This is your cousin, darling?" Antony reached out, and played with
an end of Elisa's hair.

Elisa stiffened, then nearly slapped him when he grabbed her jaw,
and swivelled her head back and forth. "Hey!" She retreated several
steps.

"You never told me you had such a beautiful cousin. I might be able
to find her a part."

"No thanks, I have a job." Elisa snorted.

"Aww, don't bother, Antony. Elisa has the acting ability of a rock.
She's a good cop ... but an actor? Nah. She's a stick in the mud."
Nikki clicked her tongue. "I remember when she tried out for a play
in ..."

"Nikki, I'm a cop. I work graveyard, about ten hours a day, more
than five days a week. I don't have time." Elisa said, firmly.

"You're a cop?" Antony suddenly sounded interested in her, rather
than playing the part of a playboy. His tone was several degrees less
insinuating, as well. "Really ... you know, we've been having trouble
around the set."

Elisa closed her eyes, swallowed her irritation, and said, "What kind
of trouble?"

* * * * *

"So on Saturday, one of the hands was on the stage and a
screwdriver fell from the rafters. Missed him by about two feet."
Antony indicated a gouge in the floor. "I figured someone was
careless, y'know? Left a screwdriver up there ... and it just fell." He
shook his head, "And then the next night, I was climbing a ladder up
to the catwalks, and it came down."

"... came down?"

"Yeah." Antony winced. "You know, crash. Someone unbolted the
supports. It came down ... hard." He showed her a bruise on his
knee. He'd dropped the playboy act totally.

"Sabotage?" Elisa was taking notes on a tablet of paper, and
following him around the set. She'd file an official report later, and
hopefully, another detective would be put on the case. She'd had
enough of Nikki. And she hadn't gotten as far as she had as a *cop*
without conciderable acting talent!

Elisa shook her head, and buried her anger. This was not the place
for it.

"I figured age, metal fatigue, brought the ladder down ... I don't
know what I figured. You hear about things, but I never expected to
see it on my stage!" He sounded outraged. "And then Monday,
there was a fire in my office ..."

"Did you report that?"

"No, it was just a trash can fire. I thought maybe one of the janitors
was smoking and ..." He shrugged. "But taken all together, I'm
starting to get worried.

"Do you have any enemies?"

"Besides the critics?" He laughed. "No."

"Eeeeeeeeeeee!"

Only Nicki could hit that pitch when she screamed. Elisa spun on
one heel, drew her gun, and bolted towards the noise.

"SLITHER IS LOOSE!"

Elisa whipped around a corner and aimed her gun into a dressing
room.

Four young women threw their hands over their heads. Nicki
screamed again, "EEEEEEE!"

"What?" Elisa demanded, seeing no threat.

"Slither!" Nicki pointed.

All five young women were huddled in one corner of the dressing
room. A medium-sized python wound out from beneath a table and
rippled across the floor.

Elisa snorted. "It's a snake."

"It's a bloody big snake." One of the other girls observed. Antony,
behind Elisa, laughed.

Elisa tried to remember if she'd encountered a big snake during her
Avalon adventures ... well, there had been the laser-gun-serpent-
thingies in Nokkar's spacecraft. If she could fall in love with a
gargoyle, she could certainly handle a snake. She holstered her gun,
bent over, and firmly grabbed the python behind the head.

"Eee!"

"Oh, shut up, Nikki." Elisa held the snake at arm's length.

"Oh, there she is!" A voice said.

Elisa turned around, and raised an eyebrow. The snake wrapped
around her arm. "She?"

"Slither, darling, are you okay?" The young woman relieved Elisa of
the snake; she wrapped it around her neck and cooed over it.

"That thing is yours?"

The woman kissed the snake on the nose. "She sure is. Someone
left her cage open. She must have been terrified." The woman
flounced out.

"Who was that?"

"Oberon's wife." Nikki clicked her tongue. "She's weird. Into all
kinds of New Age garbage."

Oberon? Oh. Elisa suffered mental whiplash. Oberon-the-actor's
wife. She still hadn't gotten the guy's name.

"Well," Elisa turned to Antony, "If that's all, then I need to run."

Antony was talking into his celphone. He glanced up, then said to
the phone, "Hold on a sec." He addressed Nicki, "Something's come
up -- I've got to put tonight off, honey. Maybe tomorrow."

"But Antony ... you promised!" Nikki wailed.

"I'll take you out somewhere really nice tomorrow. Okay?"

"But I was planning ... I can't believe you're doing this to me!"

"Your cousin wanted to do something with you, didn't she?" Antony
returned to his phone conversation, and walked out of the room.

Nikki turned to Elisa. "Well. I guess I'm stuck with you. You wanted
to introduce me to your little boyfriend?"

Elisa sighed. "Err ... maybe that's not such a good idea."

"You said ..."

"Yeah, yeah. C'mon. I need to talk to you first, before you meet
him."

* * * * *

Nikki looked way up at Castle Wyvern from the sidewalk. It was
raining hard, and the raindrops splashed on her makeup. With a
curse, she ran for the lobby door, where she caught up with Elisa.
"You do realise David Xanatos is married."

"I'm not seeing David Xanatos." Elisa said, firmly. "God forbid."

"But then why did you make me promise not to tell anyone about
your boyfriend?" Nikki pouted prettily. "I don't understand. Who
else lives in Castle Wyvern besides Xanatos -- I know he does; the
story was all over the society papers. He and that starlet ..."

"Fox. Yes." Elisa waited impatiently for the elevator. "Hi Vinnie."
She waved at the security guard as he wandered by on his rounds.

"So this guy lives at Castle Wyvern? I'm impressed ... or is he
staff?"

"He just lives there."

"Ah. Kinda like ... ohh, what was that guy's name? OJ's friend?"

Elisa choked. "No."

"Kato Kaelin, that was his name." Nikki snapped her fingers. "You
know, he was kinda cute ..."

Elisa shook her head, "Look, maybe this isn't such a good idea ..."

"You promised. I want to meet this guy who lives in Castle
Wyvern."

"Yeah ... well, just don't scream. Or fall off the building."

"Who would be dumb enough to fall off ... oh, is he like Derek,
then?"

Elisa could almost see the lightbulb flashing over Nikki's head.
"Umm ... well, yes and no ..."

The elevator door opened to an empty hall. "C'mon, he's probably
in the library."

"Isn't it kind of weird?"

"What's weird?"

"A boyfriend who ... isn't human."

Elisa shrugged. "Well, I'll admit that I had a few reservations in the
begininng ... but other things are more important than looks."

"Yeah, like what are the kids going to be?"

Before Elisa could think of a response to that, they reached the
library. Nikki was two steps ahead of Elisa; she pushed the door
open and waltzed in.

"Eeee!"

Elisa fought down a hysterical giggle, and entered behind Nikki. "Hi
guys, this is my cousin, Nikki Taylor."

The trio and Angela were seated around a table; all four were
playing poker. Angela appeared to be winning; she had the largest
pile of chips in front of her and a smug look on her face.

"Hi!" Lexington was the first to react. "Elisa, you never told us you
had a cousin!"

"Eeee!"

"I wonder why?" Angela murmured, then rose and padded up. She
held her hand out, "Hi, I'm Angela ..."

"Uhh ... hi." Nikki squeaked and backed up. She bumped into Elisa,
who rolled her eyes and stepped away from Nikki. Nikki nearly fell
down, then regained her balance and stared at the gargoyles with
enormous brown eyes and a quivering jaw. She looked close to tears
of hysteria.

"Hello." Goliath rumbled, from behind them, as he walked around a
shelf of books.

Nikki whirled.

"Elisa's told me ..."

"Eek!" Nikki latched onto Elisa. "EEEEE!!!!"

Goliath fell silent, and scratched his head. He wasn't quite sure what
to do.

Elisa's eyes were laughing, though her voice was grave. "Nikki, shut
up and meet Goliath."

"Heee's .... certainly well named!" She squeaked, trying to hide
behind Elisa.

Goliath rumbled, "I am pleased to meet you, Nikki."

"P-p-pleased to meetcha." Nikki smiled, very nervously, and
whispered in Elisa's ear, "Is he as big as ..."

Elisa cut Nikki off, "Nikki, these guys are Brooklyn, Broadway and
Lexington."

She took a nervous step back as the gargoyles came closer. "Errr ...
Elisa, they're not human."

Brooklyn remarked, "Wow, Elisa, your cousin's a genius."

Elisa bit her lip. This was not going well. Nikki was making a total
idiot of herself, and the gargoyles were noticing. And she had
absolutely no idea what to say now that introductions had been
made.

Goliath saved her. "Nikki, Elisa tells me that you have landed a role
in a movie, playing the part of Queen Titania."

Suprisingly, it was Brooklyn who was the first to react. "They're
making a movie of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'?" Brooklyn was a
closet Shakespeare buff.

"Yeah ..."

"You're a movie star?" Broadway followed rapidly on Brooklyn's
verbal heels, "Cool!"

"She could take lessons from Fox's mom." Lexington added, drily.

The trio peppered her with questions, and gradually, Nikki began to
relax. And then to put on airs. "The director tells me I'm a natural."
She preened. "I think the movie's going to be a smash hit. I could be
the next Marilyn Monroe!"

Lexington caught Brooklyn's eyes, and made a face. Brooklyn
choked.

"What? You think that's funny?"

"No!" Brooklyn ran a hand through his hair. "Elisa's part of our
clan, so I guess that makes you clan, too."

Nikki digested that. "Really." She said, in a flat voice. "Clan's like
family?"

Goliath rested a Elisa's shoulder and said gravely, "Yes."

"Pardon me, I think I'm going to faint." Nikki said weakly. "Before
today, I never even believed in monsters. Now I have monsters who
claim I'm part of their little family. Elisa ..." Nikki wailed, "Doesn't
this strike you as a bit weird?"

Elisa pointedly rested a hand on Goliath's back. "They're not
monsters, Nikki."

Brooklyn added sardonically, "And you get used to the weirdness. If
you'll excuse me, I have a patrol to make."

"Err ... Brooklyn, it's raining." Lexington pointed out. "And it's my
and Angela's turn to patrol."

Brooklyn gave Lexington a long, measuring look, then walked out
of the room.

"It is my patrol." Angela excused herself.

"And mine." Lexington bolted after her.

Broadway shook his head. "Don't mind them, Nikki. I'm glad to
meet you." He smiled at her. Unfortunately, that smile bared a lot of
teeth, and Nikki took a reflexive step backwards.

Elisa yawned, "Well, to tell the truth, I'm exhausted. Maybe we best
be going." She hugged Goliath, "I'll see you tomorrow night, big
guy."

"Elisa, your boyfriend is certainly ... large." Nikki was subdued on
the way down. "I got the feeling they didn't like me."

"Mmm ... you didn't give a very good impression up there."

"Well, what was I supposed to do?"

Elisa sighed, "There was no need for that screaming. You could
have trusted me when I said they weren't dangerous."

"Oh. Sorry. Do they really ... think I'm part of their family?"

Elisa nodded. "Goliath takes family ties very seriously. I'm a
member of his clan -- and by extension, so is my family." She
jerked her chin upwards. "He'd die for me -- or you, because you
are my family. Never forget that."

"That's weird."

Elisa sighed heavily. "C'mon, let's go home."

"Oh, just drop me off at the set. They've given me a trailer. It's
huge! Twice the size of your apartment! Hey, you could stay with
me ..."

Elisa was saved from finding a polite way to decline when Nikki
reconcidered.

"...Or maybe not. I don't think Antony would like that." Nikki
giggled. "Or your Goliath." Nikki giggled louder, like she'd told a
grand joke.

Elisa sighed.

* * * * *

***Demona faced Elisa, eyes glowing, wings half spread, laser
***cannon levelled.

***Elisa ran, but her legs felt like lead ... Demona pulled the trigger.
***The gun misfired, emitting a horrible, jangling sound ...

Elisa awoke from the dream, and muttered a soft curse. The
nightmare was gone; the jangling sound remained. She sat up, and
fumbled by the side of her bed for her telephone. "Yeah?" She
slurred into the phone.

"Elisa, it's me." Captain Chavez' voice woke her the rest of the way.

"What?" Elisa glanced at her alarm clock. Noon. She'd not gotten to
bed until four AM.

"You know the report you put in last night about the incidents at the
set of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream?"

"Yeah ..."

"There's been a fire."

"Trash can ... it was in my report ..."

"No, a whole trailer went up in flames."

* * * * *

Nikki's strident voice reached Elisa's ears long before Elisa saw the
destruction. "MY TRAILLLERRRR!"

Elisa rolled her eyes, summoned her patience, and waded through
the crowd.

"My trailer! Elisa, someone burned my trailer down! My beautiful
trailer!" Nikki was nearly in hysterics. "All my clothes, my necklace
from Antony, everything! Gone!"

"Yeah." Elisa studied the wreckage. Gone was a good description.
The trailer had burnt to the ground. "Good thing you're okay. Were
you in it?"

"Yeah." Nikki sniffed. "Everything burnt all up, Elisa!"

"Well," Elisa sighed, "You can stay at my place tonight."

"You really mean that?" Nikki brightened a little. "But my necklace
burnt up!"

A team of forensics guys were going through the wreckage. One of
them suddenly whistled. He plucked a glimmering object from the
rubble. "Will you lookit that!"

"My ruby!" Nikki shrieked. She snatched it out of his hands. "It's
not even charred! Wow! Thank you!" She kissed the detective on
the cheek, then ran back to Elisa. "Elisa, look! It's not even
damaged!"

"I'm looking. That's quite a rock."

"Antony gave it to me!"

"Wow."

"Bet Goliath never gave you anything like that!"

"No, but we took a world tour by boat together ... that really is a
rock. I'm impressed." Elisa held her hand out, and Nikki reluctantly
handed her the necklace. The tear-shaped ruby was the size of an
almond, and set into an ornate platinum setting. It was apparently
undamaged by the fire.

"Legend has it that the ruby is cursed." Antony said, joining the
women.

"You and Goliath took a cruise together? But didn't people notice?"
Nikki squealed.

Elisa and Antony both ignored that. Elisa had stiffened at the word
'curse'. "Yeah? What kind of curse?"

"Detective, surely you don't believe in magic."

"Oh, she does, and you shoud meet her boyfriend! He's reaalllly
weird."

"Can't be as weird as Oberon's girlfriend ..." Antony sighed.

Elisa stepped firmly on Nikki's foot.

"Ouch!"

"What kind of curse?" Elisa repeated.

"Oh, the typical -- the ruby brings bad luck on the wearer. I bought
the ruby at a pawn shop; the owner didn't know much. Myself, I
think the story was made up."

Elisa digested that for a moment. "Do you mind if I check that story
out?"

He shrugged, "Why?"

"Mmm ... I've seen a few weird things in my life." She held up a
hand to forestall his laughter. "I'm not saying I believe in curses, but,
well ... the world's a weird place."

"It is at that, darling. Have you caught the story of these gargoyles?
I'd almost believe ... I swear I saw one flying around here a few
nights ago. A female -- she had quite a figure, let me tell you!"

Elisa snorted. "Yeah. Like I said, weird things. Harly!" She shouted
at one of the forensic detectives. "Get me a picture of this rock, will
you?"

* * * * *

"Good afternoon, detective Maza. You're a bit early for the evening
show." Xanatos regarded her over a cup of coffee. "Can I do
something for you?"

"Yeah." Elisa sighed. "Is Owen around?"

"Owen?" One of Xanatos' eyebrows rose. "I believe he's in his
office. May I inquire ..."

"I need an expert opinion. I assume Puck qualifies."

"Ahh. Then I would presume this involves hings magical. I'll tell him
you're coming." Xanatos sipped his coffee, and picked up his cel
phone.

* * * * *

"Owen, I need a qualified opinion."

Owen regarded her with one eyebrow lifted in an expression that
was copied either from Xanatos or Spock. "Detective Maza?" He
inquired.

"Look, I know who and what you are. I need your assistance." Elisa
dropped the glossy 8"X10" photograph of the ruby on his desk.
"What do you make of that?"

The other eyebrow lifted to join the first. "Indeed."

"You recognise it?"

"Yes."

"Is the ruby cursed?"

"No."

"Drat. So much for doing this the easy way."

"Easy way?" Owen inquired.

Elisa snorted. "You're right. There's something wrong with this
picture when I'd rather deal with magical jewelry rather than a real
life arsonist."

"However ..." Owen adjusted his glasses and studied the ruby's
ornate filigreed setting. "The ruby is not magical in and of itself; I
would suspect, in fact, that it is an artificial stone..." He didn't
elaborate how he knew, and Elisa took his word for it. He paused
for a moment. "I believe that I recognise the setting, though I was
not aware that the ... previous owner had lost it."

"Oh?"

"It is quite old -- and it is a fey artifact. The stone appears to be a
replacement; the original stone was an opal."

"Lovely. What does it do?"

"It attracts evil."

"Wonderful. Bump-in-the-dark type evil?"

"No, merely mortal evil."

"Ohhh." Elisa said, nodding. "Gotcha."

"Your cousin could be in grave danger if she is wearing this. It has
some effect at all times, but the effect is greatly strengthened if the
owner wears it."

* * * * *

"I don't believe in magical curses! Elisa, that's nuts!" Nikki
exclaimed, over a health-food tea in the cafeteria.

"Look, I don't care if you believe in curses or not, but the fact is,
that necklace is a hazard."

"They caught the arsonist. It wasn't no magical fire."

Elisa nodded; she already knew they'd captured the firebug. He'd
returned to the scene of the crime, and the night watchman had
caught him poking around. He'd confessed -- bragged, really -- to
Chavez at the station. "But the necklace attracted the arsonist to
your trailer."

"You have no proof of that."

"No, but I've learned not to mess with magic."

"You're dating a guy with fangs, and you're telling *me* not to mess
with magic?" Nikki added, "And what's kissing a guy with fangs
like, anyway?"

"Nikki!" Elisa vented an exasperated sigh. She took a deep breath,
and struggled for calm. "Look, you really need to get rid of that
thing."

"Okay, fine. I'll sell it."

"NO!" Elisa yelped, "Then it'll just end up in the hands of someone
else!"

"The thing's worth a small fortune! I'm not just going to give it
away! Or throw it away! Or whatever!"

"Look, take it from me," Elisa sighed, "You really don't want to
mess with magical talismans, particularly evil ones ..."

"And you have experience with evil talismans?"

Elisa started to say yes, then hesitated. None of the magical devices
they'd encountered had been *evil* -- just dangerous in the wrong
hands.

"What's the problem?" Antony joined them, straddling a cafeteria
chair.

"My cousin claims that the ruby really is some kind of curse."

That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"

Elisa sighed, "Look, Nikki, just be careful, okay?"

Nikki sniffed. "I don't believe in magical curses."

* * * * *

"She just won't *listen*!" Elisa paced restlessly on her roof. "I can't
believe even Nikki could be that dense!"

Goliath listened silently, wings settled, eyes grave.

"Oh, Goliath. I don't know what to do. There are times when I want
to strangle Nikki, but she's family, you know what I mean?"

"I understand." He said, gravely.

"Yeah."

Goliath rested a hand on her shoulder. "I'll keep an eye on her for
you."

"Goliath ... thanks." Elisa sighed. "I appreciate it. But be careful,
hmm?"

"Always."

* * * * *

The replacement trailer was smaller. Nikki sighed heavily, and
settled into a somewhat battered oversized chair, opened her script,
and tried to make sense of the language. Not for the first time, she
wished that she'd paid more attention during English in school --
Elisa, she recalled with a twinge of jealousy, had always gotten very
good grades in school. Nikki wondered vaguely if Elisa could help
her with the tangled language, then abandoned the thought. She
could tell that Elisa had been irritated with her, though she had no
idea why ... Elisa irritated easy.

They were cousins. They ought to be friends. But ... Nikki sighed.
She couldn't figure Elisa out if her life depended on it. Elisa was
weird!

Something scratched at her door.

Nikki jumped, then laughed, "Antony!"

No response.

"Antony, knock it off!" She yelled, when the scratching continued.
The fool was probably trying to scare her ...

There was a click, and the trailer door slid open. A dark shape, too
tall for Antony, to skinny for anyone she knew on the set, stepped
into her trailer.

Nikki did the sensible thing, and screamed. "Eeeeeeee!"

From a nearby trailer, "Oberon" yelled, "SHUT UP, Nikki!"

"Eeeeeee! Eeeee! Hellllllp! Eeee!"

The man started to advance. Nikki finally found her feet, and
groped for something, anything, to defend herself with. But before
she could find a weapon, a long arm reached into the trailer and
grabbed the intruder by the head. He was yanked backwards, out of
the trailer.

"Eee!" Nikki squeaked, and cautiously poked her head out of the
trailer.

Goliath stood in the moonlight. He held the intruder at arm's length,
suspended by one arm. Goliath's expression was extremely taciturn.

The man kicked at Goliath, and the gargoyle twisted farther out of
range than was absolutely necessary. The intruder spouted a
fountain of obscenities. "... demon! I'm being attacked by the hordes
of hell! God help me!" The man begged, when he ran out of
obscenities.

Nikki realised with a shock that the man was completely naked
except for a pair of brand new white sneakers. No socks.

Goliath uttered a sound that was somewhere between a snarl and a
sigh. He addressed Nikki, "Do you have something with which I can
tie this man up for the authorities?"

"Err ... yeah." She ran inside, and retrieved her telephone cord.

"Be still!" Goliath snarled at the intruder. The man had started to
fight, but his struggles were somewhat ineffective, since Goliath still
had him suspended by one arm. Goliath set the man down ... and
winced as a sneaker connected with his knee.

"Stop that!" Goliath growled. His growls seemed have no effect,
however. The man was fighting fiercely now; his eyes were
enormous, and not quite sane. Goliath grabbed both of the man's
wrists in one hand, and a foot in the other.

Goliath's expression showed consternation and frustration. The man
was stark naked, and obviously no real threat to the gargoyle.
Goliath was loathe to knock him out, and possibly do him
permanent injury, if the man was no threat. But the man was
fighting so fiercely that Goliath feared he was going to hurt
*himself*!

Besides that, Goliath wasn't quite sure how to fight a naked human
man. It was ... embarassing.

Goliath finally pinned the man to the earth beneath his knee, and
held a hand out for the telephone cord. Nikki shoved it into his
grasp, and the gargoyle expertly trussed the man hand and foot.
Then, with a sigh, he sat back and scratched his head.

"What's wrong with him?" Nikki quavered.

"I believe the term is, 'on something'." Goliath growled.

"You think he's stoned?"

"I would suggest calling the police." Goliath said.

"What are you doing here?" She asked; he'd saved her neck, but she
still felt little flutters of terror when she looked at him. Elisa had guts,
to be dating a guy with fangs and a build like a mutant Hulk Hogan.

"Elisa was worried about you. I volunteered to keep an eye on you
for her."

"Thanks, I guess." Nikki studied the naked man, who was struggling
against his bonds in the dirt. "Will you stick around until the police
show up?"

"I'll be watching." Goliath nodded. "Please do not mention my
involvement with this."

"Of course." Nikki assured him.

* * * * *

Elisa's doorbell rang at the ungodly hour of ten AM -- which, to
Elisa, was close to the middle of the night.

"Okay, I'm convinced." Nikki held the pendant out to Elisa.

"What convinced you?" Elisa took the necklace from her.

"Antony's mother showed up and spent four hours insulting me.
Your boyfriend wasn't around to protect me."

Elisa snorted. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. The woman's evil." Nikki shrugged. "Antony'll kill me, but
I'll tell him I lost the stupid thing. Can you get rid of it?"

Elisa sighed. "I'll think of something."

* * * * *

"So she just gave the necklace to you?" Goliath sighed heavily.

"Yeah." Elisa crossed her apartment and took the rock from her
dresser drawer. "And I have no idea what to do with it now. It's
dangerous, but it's going to be dangerous to anyone who owns it ..."

Goliath hissed, and snatched the ruby necklace from her hands.

"What?"

"I recognise this!"

"Owen said it was an artifact of the Children ..."

"That I *did* not know!" Goliath held it up to the light, "Last time I
saw this setting, the stone was an opal, not a ruby -- but that setting
..."

"What?"

"It was Demona's. She looted it from a Viking war party. She never
wore it much, because she claimed that the opal didn't match her
coloration, but she was fiercely attached to it anyway."

"Goliath?"

His fist clenched around the stone. "I did not know that it was
cursed."

"Owen said you had to be actually wearing it for the worst of the
curse to take effect ..."

It was then that the skylight shattered and a very familiar red-haired
gargoyle crashed into Elisa's living room.

"You won't *believe* how long I've been looking for that thing!
Some thief stole it from my own house!" Demona stalked across the
room, training a laser rifle on Goliath. "Hand over the necklace."

"Demona, it's ..." Elisa started to protest

"That necklace is mine!"

Goliath tossed the necklace to her. She caught it, gave him a truly
puzzled look at his lack of aggression, then bolted. She was gone
before they could react further.

Goliath sighed, walked to the window, and watched her fly away.
Elisa stared at her busted skylight for a long moment, then a slow
grin spread across her face. A mischevious light appeared in her
eyes. "Goliath, I think this time, we should just let Demona get away
with her mischief."

Goliath nodded. "As she said, it is her necklace."