I had never been under any illusions. I never will be- at least, not about this.

I remember the struggle- of course I had fought; who would want to be this? – I can recall how painful it was to be separated from Ichigo's soul. It's a horrible first memory. Very painful, really.

Uncaring, I gave into the instincts that this new part of me had awakened. New power flowing through my veins, no longer apart of Ichigo, I succumbed to the hatred and hunger that Hollows experience. The craving for power and spirits is insatiable, but there is nothing I can do.

Still, I couldn't just let him die, could I? I saved his ass, but he didn't realize what I was.

I was okay with that. I would still be okay with it- ignorance feels kinder than the intense hatred- or is it indifference? – that comes from Ichigo now. I get it- I'm a Hollow, not something to be trusted, cared for or relied on. Nevertheless…

It's not like I've really done anything. …Okay, I take that back. I've tried to kill him. But he shows so much disregard for his own life or what it's worth that I don't see why he holds that assassination attempt against me. I never tried to hurt his friends or family.

I can understand Tensa Zangetsu (or just Zangetsu…) holding it against me, since he wants nothing more than to keep the teenager safe, but Ichigo? I don't understand. Why should he hate me?

Is it because I'm a Hollow? Or, is it because I am a reminder that there was some part of him that wasn't strong enough to fight the transformation? Is it because I represent the monsters that he fights nearly every day? Am I a reminder that he is different than everyone else, human, Shinigami, or otherwise? …Is there something wrong with being a little different?

He's closest to the Vizards than anyone else, because they have inner Hollows, too, but he's still different because he is alive.

I've never been under any illusions. I know he hates me. On some level, he hates me, even if it is displayed as indifference. What I don't understand is why.

Trying something different. Please tell me your opinion.