Giovanni's fun pill

by Hoogiman

Giovanni's fun pill, a videotape and a mysterious bracelet seems to be brainwashing some of the smashers. What's going on? Who's behind all of this? Will the smashers realise in time?

Giovanni's Fun Pill
Chapter One: Bracelet

DISCLAIMER: When buying a Nintendo product from a guy called Giovanni, make sure it's from a games shop. Buy the way; I do not own any of the fun Nintendo characters, such as: Jigglypuff, Pichu, Zelda or Falcon! However, there are no subliminal messages to buy Giovanni's Fun Pill.

"Hey, Peach and Bowser!" said Master Hand. "Come here!"
Peach and Bowser trotted to the room that Master Hand was in, Peach with a lot of blood on her hands.
"Peach, what have you been doing?" asked Master Hand.
"Me and Jigglypuff were playing brain surgeon!" said Peach. "...she's missing an ear, because it got stuck on the jam when I was trying to glue it back on, so she could borrow one of mine! Hehehe! Ow! My head hurts!"
Master Hand sighed, and then explained. "Peach and Bowser, I think your last few fights were dangerous, I mean, the wrong handling of bob-bombs! You are using explosives wrong!" said Master Hand, in what seemed to be a faked serious tone.

"Oh, we would never!" said Peach.
"Yeah," said Bowser.
"Ah! A spider!" said Master Hand, in an obvious faked tone.
"What, a spider? AAAH! GAAAAH! GAAAHAAAHAAA!" screamed Peach.
Peach threw a bob-bomb at it, took out a mallet, and started hitting the pile of debris.
"See what I mean?" asked Master Hand.
"I guess," said Bowser.
"I'm going to show you this instruction video, you'll have to pay attention at all times, I g-" said Master Hand, before looking at Peach. "Peach! Why is your head stuck in the toilet?"
"Well, guess what Master Hand? I'd like to see you try and taste this saltwater like stuff!" said Peach.
"Sit down," said Master Hand.
Master Hand took out a couch, and seated Peach and Bowser. He turned off the lights, pressed a button, and a video appeared on the screen.

"Welcome to workplace safety and you!" said a presenter on the TV.
The screen changed to a man in a black suit, that said: "Buy Giovanni's fun pill!"
The TV set switched back to the workplace safety spokesman. "If there is an accident at work, report it immediately!"
The screen changed again. "Buy Giovanni's fun pill!" said the monotone presenter again.
"Except of course, if the accident happens to a nerd, or a politician, you don't have to do anything!" said the presenter.
"Buy Giovanni's fun pill!"
"When handling explosives, don't blow off your head!"
"Buy Giovanni's fun pill!"
"If you want to know more about handling explosives, in the workplace, order our information booklet!" explained the presenter, before being switched to a different set, of the man in the suit.
"Buy Giovanni's fun pill!"
"Any questions?" asked the man on the TV.
"Buy Giovanni's fun pill!"
"Yes," said a kid on the TV. "What if we have a job that doesn't handle explosives?"
"Well… there's a perfect explanation for that, Bobby!" said the presenter.
Some words appeared on the screen, which said, "Thank you for watching this ad!"
Master Hand switched on the lights again, and then looked at Peach and Bowser. "Well?" he said. "Did you learn anything?"
"No," said Bowser. "But I have a sudden urge to buy a Giovanni's Fun Pill."
"Nerds and politicians!" screamed Peach, grabbing a Bob-omb.
"Good," said Master Hand menacingly.

The kids (Nana, Popo, Kirby, Yoshi, Pichu, Pikachu, Young Link, Jigglypuff and Ness) were sitting there, watching daytime TV.
"This is pointless," said Ness. "Why aren't we doing something else?"
"Because we forgot how to move," said Kirby.
"That's it, if you want to be lazy slobs, so be it!" said Young Link. "I'm getting out of this place!"
Everyone stared at Young Link.
"Do your stuff, legs!" shouted Young Link, pointing at his feet.
Young Link struggled a bit, and then looked at everybody staring at him.
"Heh heh, normally they work!" said Young Link.
Young Link sighed, and then went back to watching the TV.
"Popo, tell me what's going on!" said Nana.
"Dave's saying: Oh Kate, Oh Kate!" said Popo.
"Good!" said Nana, putting a plate on Popo, who was standing on all fours. "Now," said Nana, putting a sausage on the plate. "Cut the sausage!"
Popo said, "I can't! I'm standing on all fours!"
"Now!" yelled Nana.
Popo took a hand off the ground, (he was balancing on three legs) and tried to reach for a knife.
"I need a knife Nana!" said Popo.
"Sure you do," said Nana.

Mario, Marth, Roy, Luigi, Ganondorf, DK and Link were playing pool, when Master Hand burst in.
"Hey! Who wants to beat up Falcon?" asked Master Hand.
Everyone put their hand up, and ran up to Master Hand.
"What's the catch?" asked Donkey Kong.
"Oh, you just need to watch this information video!" said Master Hand.

"Okay Popo, here's your knife!" said Nana. "Now cut!"
Popo put his hand behind his back, trying to find the knife. He picked it up, and tried to reach for the sausage, before Nana pulled the plate away, getting Popo to stab himself in the back. Nana put the plate back on and laughed.

"Okay King Koopa: Bowser," said Peach in a monotone voice. "We will have fun if we take these pills!"
"Yes Princess Toadstool," said Bowser. "We will have lots of fun if we take these pills!"
"Now King Koopa: Bowser," said Peach. "We need to put these bracelets on to start having fun!"
"Yes Princess Toadstool," said Bowser. "We will have lots of fun!"
Peach and Bowser put on the bracelet, which had a large battery-operated flashing light on it. They then stared at each other.
"Hi Bowser!" said Peach, in her normal voice.
"Uh… Hi Peach!" said Bowser.
Peach looked around, and saw Master Hand.
"What are we doing here, Master Hand? The last thing I remember was when we saw the video!" said Peach.
"What are you talking about?" said Master Hand. "Hey, cool bracelets! Hey! I've got some! Tell everyone to see me if they want one!"

"Now pour tomato sauce on it, while still cutting!" said Nana.
Popo took off his other hand, and reached for the sauce.
"Where's the sauce?" asked Popo. "I need sauce to pour sauce!"
"Sure, Slave Dog!" said Nana.
Jigglypuff sat there, smiling, twirling around near the TV, when she looked at Peach.
"Jig Ig!" said Jigglypuff. "Hi Peach!"
"Hi Jig!" said Peach. "Do you see this cool bracelet?"
Jigglypuff smiled and nodded.
"Do you want one?" asked Peach.
Jigglypuff laughed, smiled, nodded and did fifteen twirls.
"Jig Ig! Jig Ig! Jig Puh Jiggly Wig Puh?" asked Jigglypuff. "Oh boy! Oh boy! Where do I get one?"
"Master Hand says that you can get one from him!" said Peach.
Jigglypuff did a twirl, and then slowly waddled out.
Kirby looked around for the bowl of lollies, and spotted them near Nana.
"Hey Nana! Can I have one of those lollies?" asked Kirby.
"Slave dog!" screamed Nana. "Get me a lolly!"
"I can't! I'm cutting a sausage, and pouring sauce on, so that means if I lift a leg to reach for lollies, I'll only be on one leg!" said Popo. "Do you real-"
"Shut up, slave dog!" said Nana.
Popo balanced on one foot desperately, and reached for a lolly with his foot. He got one, and passed it with his foot to Kirby.
"Thanks Popo!" said Kirby.
"Slave dog!" screamed Nana.
Kirby sucked in the wrapper, and then sucked in the lolly.
"Chilli flavoured!" screamed Kirby.
Kirby ran out, ran past Jigglypuff into a bathroom, which happened to be conveniently place right across from Master Hand's room. He turned the tap on at full, and sucked in all the water, and kept on doing that until he heard Master Hand and Jigglypuff talk.
"Ig! Ig! Iggly Puff Jig Ig?" said Jigglypuff. "I want a bracelet! I want a bracelet! Why didn't you give me one?"
"Calm down, Jigglypuff! I'll show you a video first!" said Master Hand.
Kirby listened in, and heard the video playing. He looked through the peephole, and saw Jigglypuff look at the video, and Master Hand looking away. Then he heard some of the speech.
"If you want to know more about handling explosives, in the workplace, order our information booklet!"
"Buy Giovanni's fun pill!"
"Any questions?"
"Buy Giovanni's fun pill!"
Kirby thought for a moment, and then looked through the side of the door. Kirby saw Peach walked up to Master Hand, wearing a bracelet.
"Master Hand! You wanted me to get this for you, I got this for you!" said Peach.
"Peach," said Master Hand.
"Who is Peach? My name is Princess Toadstool!" said Peach.
"Princess Toadstool, you are not going to be called Princess Toadstool anymore, you will be called, BBV1!" said Master Hand.
"Yes, Master Hand!" said Peach.
"Wait," thought Kirby to himself. "Peach doesn't speak proper English sentences! She speaks random gibberish!"
Kirby slowly opened the door, and then looked at Master Hand.
"Oh no!" thought Kirby to himself. "She gave him…"