Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Complications

"Annabelle! Annabelle, what do you think you're doing?"

The little human girl poked her head out behind a pile of crates, all neatly arranged into a sort of fort with a cloth draped over their tops (Ironhide suspected she'd managed this with the help of Bumblebee), her golden ringlets bouncing around on her thin shoulders. The fort was very large, easily able to accommodate (just barely) an Autobot (again, Ironhide had the feeling Bumblebee was to be blamed for this as well – the Autobot scout had a knack with humans), and had it not been situated in one of the least-used storage rooms at the Autobot base, it would have been impossible to miss. Every single box in the room had been used to create the fort – which caused a problem for Ironhide, who needed one of them.

And Annabelle wasn't letting him in.

"You don't know the secret password!" she chirped before disappearing within the fort.

Ironhide grumbled and commed Bumblebee.

:What's up, Ironhide?: the scout asked curiously. It was always odd hearing the young scout's voice over comm links – where his damaged voice box didn't matter – instead of the Earth radio.

:It's Lennox's daughter,: he replied, unable to keep his impatience out his voice. :She's holed up in this little fort of hers, and I can't get in. She's blabbering on about a "password".:

:And you think I know it?: Bumblebee asked, amused.

:I think you gave her the idea along with the fort,: Ironhide shot back. :Did you really have to use every single box?:

Still amused, Bumblebee said, :It's not like anyone was using 'em, and it kept Annabelle happy and out of the way. Do you know how many times Skids and Mudflap almost stepped on her?:

:I need one of those boxes. With the new kids getting themselves scrapped every time they get into a fight, Ratchet's running out of parts.:

:Can't just order new parts?:

Ironhide's systems revved irritably. :You know humans and their "paperwork"…new parts are going to take a while, and do you want to be the mech who tells Ratchet he's got to wait for those when there are perfectly good ones already here?:

:…Point.: Now Ironhide could almost hear the scout grinning from ear to ear. :Well, guess you've got to learn the password, huh?:

:So you know it.:

:Of course. Annabelle got the final say, but I helped her pick it out.:

:Pick it out…?: Ironhide was starting to get a sinking feeling.

There was a short burst of static over the comm link that was quickly replaced by an overly cheerful man's voice. He was singing,

"I love you,

You love me…"

:Oh, no.:

"We're a happy family

With a great big hug

And a kiss from me to you…"

:Bumblebee – :

"Won't you say you love me, too."

:I am not singing that!:

Bumblebee was trying his best not to laugh. :Lucky for you you've only got to sing it once,: he said. :Annabelle had me playing that for an hour straight.:

:It's easy for you!: Ironhide snapped, completely unsympathetic. :You just flip on the station and you're prime!:

:You know I'd help you out,: the scout began, doing his best to sound regretful and failing spectacularly, :but I'm not at base right now and I don't think I'll be back until late tonight. You're on your own here.:

:'Bee – :

:If you're really lucky,: Bumblebee cut in, :you won't even have to sing the whole thing. Honestly, it could be worse.:

:How?: Ironhide asked icily.

:She's only got two rules: you've got to know the song, and you can't be a boy. We might not be human, but for them they recognize us as males…just be thankful she doesn't consider you to be a boy.:

:I'm not sure whether feel offended or grateful.:

Bumblebee laughed. :Good luck to you, 'Hide.: There was a soft click, and he was gone.

Ironhide huffed out a long sigh.

Annabelle's head poked out again. "Do you know the password?"

"Yes," Ironhide replied. "But Annabelle, I just need one of the boxes in there – "

"Then sing the password!"

He frowned. "Can't I just say it?"

"Nope!"

"…Can I just get my box?"

"Can't get in without the password," she sing-songed, and Ironhide recognized the tune as being the same as the "password".

Ironhide released another sigh, and glanced around the room. Nobody was around…

He dropped down to one knee, bringing himself a little closer to the young human. She was grinning from ear to ear and bouncing with excitement – for some reason that no one could understand, she seemed to adore Ironhide. Although he noticed that her adoration did not extend far enough to let him in without singing the password.

"Fine," he relented. He'd rather deactivate than let anyone know what he was about to do, and he prayed to Primus that Annabelle wouldn't start parading it around. He considered leaving right then and there, and tell Ratchet to get his own slagging parts, but the mech was his medic…and Ratchet would certainly find a way to get even. Unfortunately for Ironhide, singing really was his best option here. He took in a deep cycle of air, then began, "I lo – "

"Ironhide?"

Ironhide instantly froze.

A silver Autobot rolled up beside him, like a human on roller skates, peering down at him curiously. Voice dripping with exaggerated surprise, he asked, "What is this mine eyes see?"

"You don't have eyes, Sideswipe."

"It's a human expression," he replied, "and I see you're avoiding answering it."

"What are you doing all the way down here?"

Unable to stand still, Sideswipe wheeled around to expect the fort, eyeing it with wide blue optics and open curiosity. "Ratchet sent me over," he replied distractedly. "Said something along the lines of, 'Go find that slow slagger and tell him to move his aft and bring me my parts'. You didn't make this, did you?"

"Of course I didn't," Ironhide snapped. "And I was just getting them now before you came and interrupted me. For Primus's sake, I'm not some sparkling – I don't need you checking up on me."

"Somebody sure is defensive," Sideswipe commented, tilting his head a little, regarding him. "You weren't singing, were you?" His mouth was twitching upwards with each word, and he was grinning faintly; Ironhide knew one right answer would send it into an ear-splitting grin.

Before Ironhide could reply, Annabelle glared up at the new Autobot and said accusingly, "You're supposed to be helping 'Bee!"

"Eh?" Sideswipe's grin faltered. He looked to Ironhide for explanation. "Hey, isn't she one of the NEST human's sparklings?"

Immensely grateful for Annabelle's interruption, he replied, "She's Lennox's kid."

"…He had a kid? Since when?"

Ironhide resisted the urge to hit himself. "Five Earth years ago."

"Why aren't you with 'Bee?" Annabelle demanded. She was working up a fiery temper now, and Ironhide wondered briefly if she'd been spending time with Ratchet.

"Just heading there now," Sideswipe said smoothly, sensing her growing hostility and trying to placate it. In one swift movement he wheeled up beside the weapons specialist, draping an arm around his shoulders. "Soon as ol' 'Hide here gets those parts Ratchet wants." He quickly backed away as Ironhide aimed a heavy fist at his head.

"I'll get the slagging parts as soon as you leave," Ironhide shot back.

"And miss the show?" Sideswipe asked, optics wide. "You speak madness!"

"The only show you'll get 'Sides is a show of my cannons."

The other mech's hands flew up in a defensive position. "Hey, keep your cannons to yourself. I – "

A voice, loud, and very, very annoyed, seemingly coming from all directions bellowed, "Primus fraggit, Ironhide, get your aft in gear and get me my parts before these slaggin' idiots drive me insane – or so help me, I will lock you in a room with all of them, including the twins, and see if I ever let you out!"

There was a very audible slam followed by a growled, "Frag it all to the fragging Pit!", and then the speaker went silent. Nobody said anything for a moment; Sideswipe looked like a little boy who'd found out that Christmas had come early, Ironhide looked ready to blast everything in sight, and Annabelle looked thoughtful.

"What does 'frag' mean?"

Ironhide's head whipped down at the little girl so fast it was a surprise that he didn't pop a servo. Sideswipe, on the other hand, had fallen into a fit of laughter.

"It's not a good word," Ironhide rumbled, wishing more and more that he hadn't decided to help the old medic and had avoided this particular storage room like the Cybertronian plague. "Don't say it."

Annabelle nodded at that, and barely ten seconds had passed before she was asking, "What does 'sl- ' "

"Also a bad word," Ironhide cut in sternly. He thought a moment and said, "As a rule of thumb, it's best to not repeat anything Ratchet says."

"But you said 'sla-' "

"Annabelle."

Sideswipe at this point had fallen to the ground, arms folded across his middle in a very human-like fashion, his laughter ringing throughout the vast room.

"Why do you get to say it and I can't?"

"Because I'm older," Ironhide replied in a tone that allowed for no argument.

So of course, Annabelle kept arguing.

"What's so bad about it?" she asked. "It's just another word."

"It's a bad word." Ironhide knew he shouldn't be trying to reason with a five-year-old, but he couldn't help himself. "It's offensive."

"How?"

It took all of Ironhide's willpower to not start cursing himself. "It just is."

"Very witty, 'Hide."

"Stuff it, 'Sides."

"That rhymes!"

And Sideswipe fell into another round of hysterical laughter.

Now Ironhide was in real danger of beating the ever-living daylights out of himself on the nearest wall. Primus, why me?

When Annabelle opened her mouth again, Ironhide cringed and prepared himself against another question about Cybertronian swears. However, he needn't have worried; she was focused on Sideswipe now. She pointed at the doorway and ordered, "Go!"

"Oh, 'Bee'll be fine without me for another few minutes," Sideswipe said carelessly. "This is way much more fun."

Annabelle started arguing, but Ironhide wasn't paying attention anymore. He was comming Bumblebee again. :Bumblebee, get Sideswipe out of here.:

:He's with you right now?: Bumblebee sounded mildly irritated. :I should've guessed he'd stick around.:

:Just get him out.:

:Sure thing,: the scout replied amiably. :I just sent Mirage down a few klicks ago.:

:Good – : Ironhide stopped dead, repeating what Bumblebee had just said in his processor. :Wait, you did what?:

"Sideswipe, you possess the attention span of a sparkling. Or did you forget that mechs were waiting for you?"

It took a lot of willpower for Ironhide not to jump. It was uncanny just how silent Mirage could be, how easily he could sneak up on people. A large part of it was due to his cloaking device, which rendered him completely invisible, but the other part was that he possessed an ability to walk almost silently (it was impossible for a twenty-foot tall mech to walk in complete silence) – one had to strain their audio receptors to pick up his footfalls, and even then most missed them.

Sideswipe leapt to his feet (or rather, his wheels), stretching a little like he had all the time in the world. "Got a little sidetracked," he admitted shamelessly. "I'm sure you would've, too."

"Do elaborate."

Ironhide felt himself tense up as he anticipated what Sideswipe would say next. He decided to cut him off before he could say anything. "Thank Primus you're here Mirage – will you finally get this bag of bolts out of here?"

The Ferrari turned to Ironhide curiously. "I will – but I must admit that I'm curious as to why Sideswipe lingered here for so long."

"Because he's Sideswipe and he enjoys nosing into others' business," Ironhide growled. "Now if I'm not mistaken, the two of you have some sort of secret mission to take care of, and unless you would like me to inform Optimus of it, I'd leave now."

Mirage regarded him curiously, but nonetheless decided not to press. He instead turned to Sideswipe and said curtly, "Ironhide is right; we have a mission – one that you are holding up, Sideswipe. If you still care to join us, you're free to come now." Without waiting for an answer, he turned sharply and swiftly made his way to the exit.

Sideswipe seemed torn for a moment, but finally he shrugged and addressed Annabelle. "You make sure you tell me everything, okay?"

"Go, 'Sides, before I kick your sorry aft out of here."

Wheeling backwards, Sideswipe waved at him carelessly. "Fine, fine, I'm going. But don't think I'm not onto you." And with that he spun around and raced out after Mirage.

"That sorry excuse for a 'Bot is going to be the death of me, I swear," Ironhide muttered. Shaking his head, he started to turn back around when something caught his eye. One of the crates comprising the topmost layer on the outer "fortress" wall bore a label he'd previously missed; upon closer inspection, he found that it was one of the very crates he'd come out to get, and had led him into this whole, crazy mess.

As he reached out to grab it, Ratchet's voice sounded over the comm system. :Ironhide! What in the world is taking you so long?:

:Ran into a little trouble called "Sideswipe",: Ironhide replied. He grunted as he pulled down the crate, ignoring Annabelle's protests. :Don't worry; I'm on my way.:

:Good. I don't think I can last another minute with these blasted new recruits.:

Closing off the comm link, Ironhide shifted the crate in his arms and started to make his way to the exit.

"Ironhide?"

Stiffling a sigh, Ironhide turned back around. The little human girl had finally left the safety of her makeshift base, standing before him now with her tiny head craned back as she peered up at him.

"Are you leaving now?" she asked. Her smile was gone; replacing it was the saddest look Ironhide had ever seen, and couldn't suppress a twinge of guilt.

"I have to bring these parts to Ratchet," he explained in an uncharacteristically gentle tone. "You understand, don't you?"

Scuffing her foot on the ground, Annabelle lowered her head. "Yeah, I guess," she mumbled.

Ironhide nodded and made to leave again, but hesitated. Primus, he felt so guilty. Turning back again, he said, "I'll come back once I've delivered these parts, I promise. I'll even fix your fort, too."

Annabelle instantly beamed up at him. "Will you sing the password?"

Again he hesitated. Now that he had the parts Ratchet wanted, there was no need to sing the song. He loathed the idea of singing such an absurd human song, especially in front of anyone else…but this wasn't just "anybody."

"I'll do you one better," Ironhide replied, kneeling down on the ground. Gently placing the crate of materials to the side, he cleared his throat. Annabelle's face positively lit up with surprise and joy, and she looked ready to squeal with excitement. However, she somehow managed to hold herself back and stay quiet, respectfully waiting for him to begin.

Then, Ironhide began to sing; deep and raspy at first, but growing smoother as he continued and gained more confidence:

"I love you,

You love me…

We're a happy family

With a great big hug

And a kiss from me to you…

Won't you say you love me, too."

Ironhide had barely finished before Annabelle leaped forward and wrapped her tiny little arms around his bulky leg. He was taken aback by the sudden show of affection, and wasn't entirely sure how to react. Luckily for him Annabelle didn't seem to notice his discomfort and instead pressed her head tightly against his leg. "Thank you, Ironhide."

Recovering from his shock, Ironhide relaxed. Smiling, he placed a hand gently on her back. "Of course, Annabelle."

Funny, he thought, how such a seemingly painful task could fill him with so much warmth and happiness.

Author's Notes: This was inspired by a similar plot bunny I found floating around somewhere on the internet, and I figured it was too cute to pass up. I'm not going to lie - I giggled a few times while I wrote this. I'm sort of a mixed fan when it comes to the live-action series, so while I kept all the appearances for the Autobots, I relied mostly on their G1 counterparts for personality (except for Ironhide, since I had a decent enough feel for his character from the movies). They ended up being a lot more fun than I initially expected, and I had way too much fun writing this. Hope you all enjoyed reading it as well. ;)