Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, from the Twilight series are the property of their respective owners, mainly Stephanie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope

Chapter 1 - Waking

I felt numb. My whole body had ceased to feel anything. I could vaguely hear Charlie shouting at me from my bedroom door, no doubt trying to force some life out of me.

I felt a slight pang of guilt at that. The only emotion I was capable of feeling at the moment seemed to be guilt. It wasn't Charlie's fault I felt like this. It wasn't even his. It was entirely my fault, I was the one stupid to believe that someone as amazing as Ed..d.. he could ever love me.

I heard the slow defeated footsteps heading downstairs signalling Charlie's defeat. I heard his long sigh as he collapsed into his chair, turning on the game as he did so. Even the game did not seem to bring him much comfort anymore, and I knew this was my fault but even that could not revive me.

My thoughts wandered off to the last time I ever saw him, squeezing my eyes shut to stop the tears I could no longer cry. The part that hurt the most was that he could leave me. If he felt anywhere near the unconditional love as I felt for him there was no way he could have ever left.

I heard my father's voice talking to someone downstairs, rough with emotion, and nonchalantly wondered who it could be. The only visitors we had to the house nowadays was Billy Black, but even he stopped coming after a while, tired of seeing the pain we were both in.

As I broke out of my musings I realised whoever had come to visit was now ascending the stairs with Charlie. I hoped it was not the doctor again; I had no patience for his words, as if he could comprehend what I was feeling or what I needed. My door slowly creaked open and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out whatever Charlie was going to say.

So I was shocked when I heard to mystery person speak, "Bella, love?" My eyes snapped open at the sound of my mother's voice. I couldn't believe she was here, why was she here? I wished, at that moment, that she had not had to see me like this. Charlie wasn't so bad, I felt guilt for the way I was making him feel but I knew he was stronger than Renee; he could handle it whereas my mother would crumble.

"Oh Bella" her breath hitched as she spoke the next words, "I'm here honey, it's all going to be ok. I'm going to take you home, you don't have to stay here any longer"

I couldn't quite understand why she thought this would be comforting to me, and for the first time in days I felt a surge of energy as I pushed myself away from her and fully looked at her and my father. Charlie was stood near the door, a look of distress on his face before he quickly schooled his face into a mask of indifference. Renee sat next to me on the bed, her eyes wet and her face shocked at my sudden movement.

"Whh..aaat?" I mumbled, my vocal cords failing me from the lack of use they'd had the past few weeks. "Well Bella, Charlie started, I can tell your not happy here, and I don't know what else to do" he looked desperate, and very slightly hysterical, "you don't eat, you don't sleep, you haven't been talking, you don't go to school... I just don't know what to do anymore, I thought it would pass but it's been two weeks Bella, you can't keep living like this. So I'm sending you to Jacksonville with your mother"

Shame and sadness flooded me at Charlie's words, but even more powerful was the surge of anger that seemed to burn its way out of my throat, turning into a tirade against my parents.

"No way. There is no chance on this earth that I am leaving Forks. I cannot believe you would even think of trying to ship me out of here. Does what I want mean anything to you? Well, I'm sorry mom, but you've had a very wasted journey because I'm not going anywhere" I screamed at them both, heaving myself off the bed, a little unsteadily, and stormed into the tiny bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I stayed in there until I heard my mother leave, angry thoughts slowly ebbing away into shame. I could not believe that I had shouted at Charlie and Renee like that. Although there was no way I was going to leave, I understood why they had done it. I had to try and pick myself up and at least make it look like I was getting back to normal, at least for Charlie's sake.

I slowly pulled the bolt free and started to creep down the stairs. I sat on the steps just out of my father's line of sight, watching him for a moment. He was sat in his chair, bent over with his head in his hands and in that moment he looked truly defeated, and I knew I had to try, for his sake at least.

"Dad" I whispered. Charlie's head shot up in surprise as he looked over to me, slowly walking down the stairs. I couldn't look him in the eye as I spoke. "I'm so sorry, I know you were only trying to do what was best for me, but I truly cannot leave Forks... it's my home now"

"Oh Bella, I was just trying to do what I thought would help. I hate seeing you like this. If only I could get my hands on him..."

"Dad..." I reprimanded, "Its not his fault, he was doing what he thought was best" I paused, taking in his incredulous expression before I continued, "But I am going to try harder to get my life back on track, starting with school tomorrow"

He nodded his head, a sliver of hope lightening the load he seemed to carry on his shoulders, "Ok Bells, you better go get some sleep, and it's getting late"

I turned towards the stairs to acknowledge him, but turned back at the foot of the stairs, "I love you, Dad"

"Love you too Bells" he spoke softly.

I climbed the stairs and in a haze got myself ready for bed. As I slipped under the covers I realised that this had perhaps this had been the wakeup call I had needed. I would never be ok again, he had taken a part of me with him when he left and I could never be whole without it, but I could start pretending.

For Charlie's sake.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, so thats the first chapter, let me know what you think and I'll try to get the next chapter to you ASAP.

Please Review