A/N; This fic contains m/m smut! Destiel slash ahead!

Since won't allow the explicit stuff I had to cut that part out, but you can find it on my Ao3 account (the link's on my profile).

Cas was alive. He was fucking alive! Dean didn't know whether to hug him or cry in happiness.

Sure, he'd messed up, but it was Cas. Cas, for God's sake and he was here – he had been all along! And all it had taken to find him was a routine salt and burn hunt.

True, he had amnesia and a wife but Dean knew it was going to be okay. Everything was going to be so much easier to fix now. Now his angel was back.

It was unfortunate, to say the least, that Meg had to tag along. What the hell? Dean had thought they'd left her far behind in a cloud of the Impala's dust. But he could sort that later as soon as he talked to Cas.

Sam? Dean hadn't a clue where he was, and at the moment he couldn't care less. He was finally, after so long, able to talk to Castiel. True, it sucked right now, their situation was pretty crappy, but somehow he knew they would pull through. Of course they would.

He looked at the angel as he regained his memories, and he internally winced at the pain he saw in those blue eyes. A part of him hated himself for the fact he had to resurface those memories, but smiting the ghost was the only way Dean knew that would kill it. The body had been cremated, and all leads ran dry when looking for a reason for the ghost to stay.

"Cas?" Dean spoke, once the too bright light had disappeared back into the angel's hands. "Look at me," He wasn't. Castiel was looking anywhere and everywhere apart from at Dean. The dirty ground, the black sky or the middle distance. "Will you look at me goddammit!" He grabbed the angel by the shoulder, Cas setting reluctant eyes upon the hunter.

"Dean," His normally calm voice held anguish and sadness. "I'm sorry. I'm so s-"

He was cut off as Dean put a hand over his mouth, the angel's eyes widening as he did so. "It's alright Cas. Let's just get back to the motel." After a moment of indecision the angel nodded and the hunter reluctantly removed his hands, his palms feeling cold now that he wasn't holding his angel.

The ride in the Impala was quiet. Dean had so much he wanted to say, and he was sure Cas did too, but this wasn't some chick flick. He couldn't open himself up to Cas like he wanted to. He didn't know how. The angel stared out of the window for the majority of the ride, glancing at Dean every now and again when he thought the hunter wasn't paying attention.

The inside of the motel was dingy, but then they all were, so it made little difference to either of them.

Dean sat on the bed and rubbed his eyes and eventually Castiel followed suit, sitting on the opposite bed facing Dean.

Cas looked a mixture of unsure, expectant and lost and Dean couldn't stand that. The angel, his angel, looked so forlorn that Dean felt like he had to do something. Fill the awkward silence. He didn't really know where to start or what to say so he spoke the first things that came to mind.

"I missed you Cas," He held his head in his hands as he spoke, releasing a pent up breath. "I missed you so much and I prayed, every night, hoping you were still there." Dean absolutely did not sniffle. "And now you're here. Don't start apologising." He said as Castiel opened his mouth. "You're already forgiven Cas. Hell, I don't even care anymore. We can fix this; we'll find a way to send the Leviathans back to Purgatory. If there's a way out there's a way back in. I-" He stopped talking. Dean's eyes felt watery and he knew if Sam ever saw him like this he'd never let him live it down. To hell with it.

Cas scooted forwards on the bed so his and the hunter's knees were touching. "Thank you, Dean." Dean visibly relaxed at those words, a few stray tears leaking out as he did so. Those words were all that he needed to hear, all that he wanted.

He didn't give himself a chance to back out; Dean grabbed the angel by the tie and yanked him closer. Close enough for him to be able to count his each individual eyelash. Cas was startled, but he didn't speak, and he didn't make a move to pull away as Dean pressed his lips to Cas'.

Dean's lips were hard and rough against the angel's still ones but Cas quickly caught on and followed Dean's example, closing his wide eyes and gently pressing his lips to the hunter's.

Dean groaned and pulled Cas even closer by his tie, forcing the angel onto his knees on the floor between Dean's legs.

Castiel gingerly placed his hands on Dean's thighs as the hunter threaded his fingers through Cas' dark hair. He took the hint as Dean's tongue swept over his lips, and he opened his mouth as Dean tilted his head to the side for better access.

Cas moaned into Dean's mouth as their tongues met over and over again. The kiss was becoming fiercer and more passionate and it was nothing like the kiss he has shared with Meg. To Castiel this felt so much better, in every way.

One of Cas' hands moved slowly up to grip Dean by the back of his neck and the hunter held the angel even tighter, it that were possible. Holding him in place with his knees.

He pulled back suddenly, his cheeks slightly flushed and his eyed darkened by lust. Castiel bit his lip, wandering what he had done wrong.

"Bed." Dean's kissed lips rasped out and Cas' eyes widened at the implication, although he didn't hesitate to do as he was told.

Dean stood with him, shucking off the fake FBI blazer and tie, quickly yanking his shirt over his head.

Castiel slid his arms out of his own blazer. Even though he had been amnesiac he was still wearing a suit, the same one (or it looked like it) that he always wore.

Dean pulled Cas on for another fierce kiss, all teeth and tongue. "Dean." Castiel whispered as Dean pulled back and rested his forehead against the angel's. His deft fingers removing Cas' tie and shirt.

He guided the flushed angel backwards to his bed, both of them falling onto it after kicking off their shoes.

Dean held himself on top of the angel, balancing him weight on his forearms as he leaned in to suck and bite at Cas' neck, pulling moans from the angel. He knew any marks he left were sure to heal over, but he made them anyway. Cas was certainly enjoying it.

He pulled away to look at the angel beneath him as he rolled his hips downwards. He watched, rapt, as Cas bit his lip in an attempt to hold in any sounds, maintaining eye contact with Dean. Dean nudged the angel's legs wider so he could press closer.

"I missed you Cas," Dean whispered as they kissed again, his hands wandering down the angel's torso.

"I know Dean." Was his reply, the only thing he needed to say.

It was when Dean paused in kissing the angel to look down at him that Castiel started to feel nervous. He blushed as he stammered out, "I-I haven't –"

Dean interrupted him. "It's alright Cas, I know. I'll take care of you," Castiel relaxed as Dean ran a hand softly down the angel's side, starting at his collar bone and making his way over his abs.

"I promise."

The kiss was slow and lazy and just perfect after everything that had happened, in the afterglow of the new direction their relationship had taken. Dean rolled off Cas and onto his side, looping his arm around the angel and pulling the covers over them. Castiel snuggled into Dean, his face in the crook of the hunter's neck.

Dean felt the most relaxed and happiest he had ever felt. Or remembered feeling. He kissed the top of Cas' head. Right now, things were going to be okay. Take one day at a time. Well, that was what he was thinking until the both of them were abruptly pulled out of their contentedness by a startled Sam who was stood in the door way.

"What?" He squeaked out, covering his eyes with a hand. Gabriel, who was walking behind Sam, came to a stop and peered around the giant.

"I knew it!" He laughed.