It had happened so easily, and Alfons realized that they were probably right when they said love snuck up on you.
He stared at the way Ed's hair fall down about him for once not in a ponytail and the way Ed's eyes were alight with passion and concentration.
Alfons couldn't focus, not like that.
He also couldn't focus from where he'd sat earlier right beside Ed who accidentally or not leaned closer to him as he shown him some of his written theories and equations that still managed to take Alfons's breath away.
The German watched the British man as he studied the book as if it held all of the answers to life, and the German's mouth went dry.
Oh, how he wished that he could actually show the Brit that he cherished him.
Alfons bit his lip and stood up to make dinner for the two of them as Ed continued to work, focus solely on the pages of the book before him.
He wished that the other didn't see him as a brother, as a friend, and more importantly didn't just see him as his roommate.
Alfons knew he didn't have long left, but it still heard to think that the man before him couldn't just give him a moment of euphoria and just know how to make Alfons feel loved and cared for.
He knew that the other would by be most considered insane and that sometimes he considered Ed as such as the man was practically a mad scientist with how intelligent and skilled he was.
Alfons hated how sometimes he felt victim to those insulting thoughts and sometimes he almost treated Ed as something less than his dear friend and desirable crush.
The German stared at what little remained in their refrigerator as he moved to make a bread and wurst dinner that hopefully will leave them both sated as Ed continued his studying.
Alfons sighed; it was almost too much to think about how much he cared for Edward and how his feelings resonated deeper than friendship and yet again that they'd never be returned.
He moved back to the living room, eyeing the way that Edward looked so relaxed with a book in hand, hair falling delicately around his shoulders, and his legs crossed real leg over top prosthetic leg as he studied.
"Ed, dinner's ready." The domesticness of the situation nearly killed Alfons, suffocated him, even though he truly felt far worse physically under the suffocating feeling of his disease.
Edward muttered, "Alright, what is it?" The smile that lit up his face had Alfons's heart giving in eagerly for his friend's joy.
Alfons couldn't resist a smile no matter how short lived it would appear as he felt the beginnings of a coughing fit come on and felt his body tremble as he gave in and attempted to hide the blood that appeared on his hands when he covered the coughing fit.
Edward was immediately by his side, worried for his 'brother.'
Alfons faked a smile and left the room to clean up the blood that adorned his hand as if some sort of foreign and dangerous jewel that cost dozens of lives.
He moved to fight away another bout of coughs and strove to clean away the blood and make himself appear healthier to his friend despite the way the blood wanted to cling to his pale fingers at first and the way his body almost gave at the force of another coughing fit.
Alfons moved back towards Ed and finally gave into a smile that seemed almost 'too' real as he explained that he was fine.
Ed looked doubtful but finally sat down to eat his portion of tonight's dinner.
Alfons stared down at Ed as he realized that perhaps their time really had come to part ways, and the feelings he longed for would never be returned to him.
He put on a genuine though brave smile and wished Ed well as he gripped his hand, feeling what should be illegal joy course through his veins just touching his hands like this.
Alfons pulled away and finally went to release their rocket as it took Ed away, who for once wanted to stay, and even though it was not a romantic plea, left Alfons's heart racing with joy and well hidden butterflies.
It wouldn't be long though when he felt the pain blossoming his chest for a moment, taking away those hidden butterflies as if they were butchered right before him, and left him collapsing on the ground under only the sound of Edward's cries for him.