If only she'd listened to her head rather than her heart.
Marie stood at the steps of the Institute, focusing on the gravel path that led out the gates to the outside world, which seemed as hazy as her future. She wasn't sure she wanted it. From the side of the school, she could hear Bobby and Kitty's voices as they trained together.
Marie clenched her hands and closed her eyes, wishing she could block out reality so easily. Tears slid down from beneath her lashes.
I took the cure for you, Bobby. You promised. You promised! She felt vulnerable, stripped of all her worth. I had a gift and threw it away for a selfish jerk. I could've helped the others.
The loss of intimacy, of touch, with another was a small price to pay in the whole scheme of the universe. Wasn't it? It's not fair. Why can't I just be close to someone? Why can't I ever have a real relationship? I go through all this, taking the cure, for nothing? I lose my gift, my curse, for nothing? When she heard them approach, her eyes flew open.
First came Kitty, who was laughing, full of life's joys. She'd never have to go through what Marie did. But, once glance at Marie and she grew sober, uncomfortable. She even had the grace to look remorseful.
Bobby, having no such grace, charged around behind Kitty, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her long.
Marie looked on, refusing to show weakness. You're scum, Bobby. She knew he was purposely doing it in front of her.
Kitty squirmed in his grasp, trying to break free from him. At least she wasn't in on it. Marie felt just a bit sorry for her to have such a crummy boyfriend.
"Gosh, Bobby. Can't you take a hint?" snapped Kitty, jerking away from him.
"I'm so taken with you; I can't help it." He purposely looked over at Marie, pretending to see her there for the first time. "Oh hey, Rogue" he said, a faint smirk slithering across his face. "Didn't see you there."
They hadn't spoken much when they'd broken up, but now angered words rose like bile in Marie's mouth. "You're pathetic, Bobby," she said hotly. "A sick, pathetic louse. You said you loved me."
"That was before you took the cure. I only fall for mutant girls."
"I took the cure for you!"
"You're a traitor," he retorted. "You turned your back on all the rest of us, and for what? Because you wanted to touch?" he said the word mockingly. "You betray all of us just so you can touch someone."
"You don't know what it's like!"
"So you betray us. It's not worth that. You've should've given up your feelings for the good of the team!"
"Easy for you to say," she muttered bitterly.
"At least you were useful before. Now you're nothing."
Nothing! It echoed harshly in her mind, nagging at her.
"Just shut it, Bobby," cut in Kitty.
"What? Sticking up for the freak now?" he shot an accusing glare at Kitty before rounding back on Marie. "That's what you are. A normal, non-mutant freak."
Unable to stand it anymore, Marie ran for the gate. He's right. I'm selfish and no good to anyone now! I bet all the rest of the mutants think that too, but they're too polite to say it. I wish it was all over...
She had no purpose anymore. Who'd care if she left? Marie made no effort to stop the tears from trailing down her face as she raced for the road.
Take me. Just take me now.
Up ahead, she could hear the whooshing of cars up ahead as they shot past.
Closer...closer...
"You're nothing!" Bobby's harsh words were all she could hear. He'd played her. Why couldn't she have seen it sooner? He's never cared.
She was very close to the road now and couldn't stop herself from running...
A strong pair of arms wrapped around her, dragging her back a safe distance from the road. "What the heck are you trying to do?" growled Logan.
"Let me go!" she fought him, but his grip refused to give. "No one wants me anymore," she said admittedly, shamed to have earned his disapproval. That familiar self-pity rose up in her again and she turned away from him to hide her tears.
"An' who said that?"
"Why's it matter when everyone feels that way? I'm nothing without my power. I gave it all up for Bobby and he barely wants to look at me anymore! Just once" she choked back a sob "just once I want to be close to someone. He and I, I though..."
"You're not useless."
"Then what good am I?" she demanded, looking up at him. "You know I'm nothing, Logan."
"The whole world can say that, but they're all wrong." He paused, fighting his better instincts to open up to her. "You're...you're the only one keepin' me here."
Marie felt her heart flutter as she stared up at him. In her infatuation for Bobby, she'd forgotten those feelings she'd once had for Logan. Did she even still like him that way? Did he like her that way?
Satisfied that she wouldn't bolt for the road again, he released his hold on her. "C'mon. Let's start by goin' back inside. Alright?" his voice was soft.
"Yeah" she whispered, with a thankful smile up at him.