On the Steps

Lorelai had been reluctant to leave her sitting at the gazebo, but Rory wasn't ready to walk away. Not yet. She needed more time to memorise the town square, the flowers around the gazebo, the displays in the shop windows, because this was it.

She'd been telling herself since her return that she wasn't back, because as much as she loved Stars Hollow and everyone in it, she'd always wanted more. But Stars Hollow was safe and comfortable and warm and she'd started to let it sweep her back up in its special brand of craziness.

Now, it just felt like there was a ticking time bomb - although she probably shouldn't call it that - and if she didn't get out soon, she'd never leave.

She hadn't known about the baby for long, hadn't even suspected it for long, but the moment it had crossed her mind, she'd needed to know. But even after it had been confirmed, the reality hadn't hit her until she said it out loud.

Rory didn't know what to do and her father hadn't helped. She shouldn't have gone to him. She'd been foolish to expect him to give her what she wanted, but she knew now she had always expected more from than he'd been able to provide. She'd wanted reassurance, wanted him to tell her that he regretted how absent he'd been, but all he'd managed to give her were second thoughts.

Thinking about it now, on the steps of the gazebo, she was angry. She'd asked him one question, and although the question itself was difficult, the answer shouldn't have been. Christopher had just sidestepped the question and avoided taking any responsibility for not being there by saying her mom was too strong, too independent.

All she had wanted was for her dad to admit that he hadn't been ready, but he wished he had been. That given the choice again, he'd have tried harder.

She always expected too much.

Logan wasn't Christopher, she knew that, but that hadn't stopped her from doubting him. After all, he'd let her walk away.

Nothing changed the fact that Logan needed to know. She wanted him to know.

Her phone felt heavy in her hand. If things were different, she wouldn't be worried. She'd tell Logan and he'd tell her everything would be alright, like he always did, but things between them were complicated. She didn't think a baby would change that, and if it didn't…

Their goodbye had felt so final, so painful, but so perfect. She'd spent their last moments together just memorising him, his own hands framing his soft, melancholy smile, still as beautiful as he'd been when she met him.

And, just for a moment, she had thought he was going to tell her not to go. That she should come with him and stop him getting on the plane.

One deep breath, and then his name was on her phone screen. He didn't pick up straight away - what if he never picked up - and after several long seconds, she had to fight the urge not to hang up. Then the ringing stopped and all there was was silence.

She couldn't speak. If this was it, if nothing changed, she didn't want to lose their goodbye. She wanted that one perfect night.

Then he said her name.

"I don't want you to give up everything." The words came suddenly, without warning, and she grimaced as soon as she said them. The conversation should have started with something easier, although she couldn't think of what she could have said.

Another long silence.

"One word and I would."

"Logan-"

"And I wouldn't be giving up anything. Not really." She wondered if she should protest, should say something about how easily he disregarded the woman he was meant to marry, but he was saying exactly what she wanted to hear. Maybe that meant she was a terrible person, but Rory had realised a long time ago, back in Hamburg, that she didn't mind being a terrible person if it meant they were terrible people together. "I was just waiting for a reason to walk away."

A shaky sigh fell from her lips, her eyes closing. They'd made such a mess of everything, both of them waiting for the other person to say the right things. She'd convinced herself, convinced him, that they could ignore the rest of the world when they were together, and then neither of them had been willing to risk ruining that to suggest that they could have anything more.

If only they'd sat down and talked. They'd been good at that once, back when they were younger and everything somehow seemed more certain and safe.

Rory supposed they still were, if it wasn't about their relationship. He was still the one she wanted to call at the end of the day, to share good and bad news with, and before things had ended, before Odette moved in, she'd done just that.

She took in another deep breath, the hand not holding her phone clutching at the fabric of her jumper. "I'm pregnant." She heard him inhale sharply, her grip on her phone tightening until her knuckles were white. She hadn't meant to say that. Not yet, not after what he'd just admitted. "And I love you. I should have said that first. That's your reason, not… Logan, I love you. I should have told you that weeks ago. Months ago. Maybe even in Hamburg."

Her heart raced as she waited for him to reply. She thought she had an idea of what to expect - he'd all but told her he would choose her - but she'd still dropped some life-changing news on him with very little preparation.

"I love you too, Ace," he said gently - and why had they waited so long to voice those words again? "And I'll see you tomorrow."

"What?"

"I'll be in Stars Hollow tomorrow," he explained. "I don't know what time yet. I don't know how long it's going to take to sort out everything here, but I will be there."

"Logan, you can't just-"

"If I say I can, then I can," he insisted, and Rory had to smile at the familiar words. "Rory, I don't want to be anywhere but with you."

"Shouldn't we talk about this?"

"And we will," Logan told her. "In person. We'll get a coffee and… or, I guess, not a coffee. Something."

She was going to cry - her throat felt thick, her chest tight. They'd wasted so much time and all they'd needed to say was a few words. And yes, they had so much more they needed to talk about, but she felt like everything was going to be fine. He loved her, she loved him, and although she couldn't see his face, it didn't sound like Logan was freaking out.

She'd need to talk to him about the coffee thing though. That was something she hadn't even started to worry about.

"Everything will be okay, Rory." She'd been quiet for too long. "We'll be okay. You'll be okay."

He told her he loved her one more time before the phone call ended, the whole conversation lasting barely five minutes but changing everything. He had things to do, she had a wedding to attend, and maybe everything was still as uncertain as it had been only a few minutes before, but she believed him.

Everything was going to be fine.

I've never written a Gilmore Girls fic before, but after yesterday, I needed to. I hope you enjoyed it! I don't think there'll be more, but there might be. I do have another Gilmore Girls fic being planned as well, but that's an AU (and was being planned before the revival aired). Thanks for reading!