AUTHOR'S NOTE: CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE! (Except for Serena's dad Pepe.)

WARNING: CONTAINS GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF CHILDBIRTH! GTFO IF YOUR NOT 18 OR OLDER.

Ash's mom had been dating Serena's dad Pepe for three years. Now they decided to go and get themselves married. Pretty soon, Serena's dad and Delia were expecting a baby. When it was time for the baby (whose sex will be kept a surprise) to be born, they decided to give Delia a water birth. Ash's stepsister Serena and Serena's mom were there too. Serena's mom was going to help pull the baby out of Delia's you-know-what since she was a trained midwife.

"OWWWW!" yelled Delia. "AAAAAAA!"

"Don't worry," said Ash. "Keep pushing."

Delia screamed as the pool filled with menstrual blood and tapeworms. Pikachu decided to help Delia pull out of her baby.

Serena's dad Pepe, who was middle-aged and bald, held Delia gently. Delia groaned as a head started to come out.

"What are we going to name the little babykins?" Delia saided.

"We should name her Cedar," said Ash. "It's a tree, like me."

Delia vomited.

"If it's a boy, we should call him Jean-Pierre," said Pepe.

"I don't want my brother to have a snooty gay French name." said Ash. "French people have lots of gay names, like Florian."

"How about Nathaniel?" asked Serena.

"NO!" yelled Ash. "Nathaniel is a black name - you know, for niggers."

"Oh...sorry." said Serena. "How about Lesbia?"

"I wouldn't mind having a sister named Lesbia," said Ash. "We can call her Lesbia Sappho Xena Haruka Michiru Ellen DeGeneres Ketchum to make her really lesbian."

"That sounds like a beautiful name," said Delia. "Lesbia it is." Delia screamed as the pool filled with blood as Serena's mom Grace delivered the baby.

"Here you go!" said Serena's mom. "A healthy baby girl."

"Her name is Lesbia Sappho Xena Haruka Michiru Ellen DeGeneres Ketchum," said Delia.

"Our little sister will grow up to be lesbian," said Serena. "Thanks for your help."

"No problemo," said Ash.

Ash and Serena decided to make out passionately as Delia held little Lesbia, or Lessie as they were going to call her. (It rhymes with Nessie - but don't worry; Jacob Black won't imprint on her.) Afterwards, Delia got out of the pool and let everyone hold little Lesbia.

Ash and Serena were glad to have a new baby sister that they could share.

THE END

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