Mary stared into her eldest son's eyes and squeezed his arm reassuringly. "I'm proud of you, Dean."
Dean swallowed thickly. What was she proud of? Had she seen all that he and Sammy had done over the years? He pictured her in a heaven, one that resembled the home that they had all once lived in together as a family. The home that went up in flames decades ago. A place that held such significance to his conscious of what a family was, what it could have been if Mary hadn't been taken from her sons so quickly. The look on her face read more as a mother's understanding of the man that her son had become. A man that he wasn't so sure about himself.
She rubbed his arm for a second more. "I would never have thought," she said, cutting herself off, keeping her son from knowing her true thoughts.
"Never thought, what?" Dean asked.
"You and Castiel are close friends," Mary stated rather than asked.
"More like brothers," Dean said. "He's family. Why?"
His mother shrugged her shoulders, stepping towards his bedside table where he displayed a few personal items. A picture of Dean and Castiel sat in a silver frame next to his alarm clock. She picked up the photograph. "I like this one of you both. You seem rather content."
"Yeah," Dean said, smiling fondly at the memory. "That was a few years ago, actually. We were on a hunt in Oregon, a possible vamp nest. Just a couple vamps in the area, nothing real crazy. So, we went out to a local hole in the wall for a few brews." Dean smiled at the memory. He took the frame from his mother. "Me and Sam thought it was a good idea to get Cas drunk. Bought a few rounds of shots. Man, that guy can put them away." He set the frame down gently in its spot on his end table. "Sam snapped this photo. Said he had to capture the moment of us just living life. You know, not dealing with any immediate danger. Just enjoying a night out."
"I like to know that my boys are happy," Mary said. "Are you, though, sweetheart?"
"Happy?" Dean contemplated the word. Permanent roof over his head, check. Younger brother and angelic best friend were unharmed, check. Recent cash winnings from hustling a bunch of preppy college kids who couldn't play pool to save their lives, check. His Baby was running properly. And his mother was back from the dead, standing right next to him, looking fondly on her eldest son. But, was he truly happy?
He didn't have a significant other. There was no white picket fence to keep in a dog. There were no little Dean's or Sammy's running around the place. Monsters still needed to be ganked. Ghosts still needed to be popped full of rock salt. Crowley's still a douche. Rowena's still a bitch. Angels are still dicks. Despite all this, is he happy?
"Sweetheart," Mary began, "If you could have one thing in life, other than hunting, what would you choose? And don't say a never-ending supply of pie." Dean chuckled at his mother's joke. "Hey, I got you to laugh."
"Yeah, throw in a joke in the middle of a serious conversation," Dean said.
"The Winchester way," Mary said. "But really, Dean, if there's something that will make you happy, don't feel like you can't obtain it. You, and Sam for that matter, are allowed to be selfish once in a while."
"I know."
"Do you?" Mary asked. "I never wanted the hunter lifestyle for either of my boys. I found your father, we got married, had you both," Mary paused. "John and I, we had our ups and downs like any other couple, but we worked through it all. No matter what the issue was, we still loved each other. I would love it if you would just settle down." She touched her son's shoulder again. "Enjoy life without worrying about what darkness lurks behind every corner."
"It's not that easy," Dean replied.
Mary gave Dean her best bitch face. She looked so much like Sam. "I think you're more afraid of letting go of hunting than you are of actually being in retirement."
"This life is all I know," Dean said. "It's all me and Sammy have known. We grew up as hunters. I can forge credit cards under false names, lie myself into a crime scene, hustle pool for quick cash," he stopped. "Ganking things that go bump in the night is family business."
"It shouldn't be that way, Dean," his mother countered. "You should be able to settle down, get married, have a family of your own. You deserve that much. That's what I wanted out of you boys when I had you both. I wanted nothing to do with all this darkness that surrounds this family. If only I knew that your grandfather was a Men of Letters, I wouldn't have wanted to be with your father." Mary cut herself short and turned away from her son. She touched the picture of Dean with his arm around Cas again. "But, I am proud of you, Dean. I never would have thought."
Dean slumped into his mattress, sighing heavily. He closed his eyes. "I figured it out later in life, actually." Mary turned to face her son. "I mean, you know, you can't really just go through life without thinking that someone of the same sex is good looking, right? Seriously. No one can deny Doctor Sexy." She smiled at her son's comment. He did have a poster from that show hanging on his wall. The actor was rather handsome, in a rugged way.
"I've shoved it all down," Dean continued. "Put up fronts all these years, kept myself occupied with women, leaving them because I knew that in this line of work there is no suburbanite happy ending. Shit. I would have married Lisa if I wasn't so paranoid about her and Ben getting hurt." Dean paused. Mary sat next to him and placed a motherly hand on his in reassurance. "It's why I had to let Cas wipe their memories of me. To keep them safe. To let them live normal lives."
"When I met Cas, everything I knew went out the window." He shifted to face his mother. "We have this weird bond between us. I don't get it, really. Cas pulled my soul out of Hell, maybe his handprint branded me as his, I don't know. He pulled Sammy out of Hell sans soul and Cas'll barely answer his prayers, but he sure as shit flutters into the room at the sound of my voice."
"Castiel cares deeply about you."
"Like I said, we're family. We've been through too much shit to not be family. I forgave his sorry ass so many times and he's forgave me for everything I've done to him over the years." Dean chuckled. "He's my weird little nerdy angel in a trench coat."
"Have either of you done anything about it?"
Dean furrowed his brow. "Like what?"
"Like, I don't know, going out for coffee or a movie or something."
Dean stood up, laughing nervously. "Why am I talking with my mother about my dating life?"
"I wasn't there for your first kiss, your first date; humor me, sweetie."
Her son wiped a hand down his face in agitation. "No, mom, nothing's happened. I'm not dumb. I know we dance around the whole thing. Shit. Does Cas even get it? He can barely work the freakin' DVD player. How can he understand that I like him? That I care about him? That he's more than just my best friend? And why am I telling my own mother this?"
"Because I appreciate it sweetheart." Mary stood and brought her eldest son into her arms for a hug. She smelled faintly of a perfume that Dean had suppressed all these decades. It was a floral mixture with a hint of sweetness, bringing him back to being four years old and gripping his mother's pant leg in comfort. Mary pulled away to look her son in the eyes. "Make me even prouder and go after that white picket fence happiness. For your mother?"
"Mary." Castiel shut the laptop that he had open when he saw the woman enter the library.
She gestured towards the device on the table. "I thought you didn't trust those things."
Castiel straightened himself in his chair. "I don't, but they are occasionally helpful. Especially when you want to look up something that a book won't answer."
"And what is that?" Mary sat down in a chair across from the angel. She chuckled at seeing his brows furrow. "What were you reading up on?"
"Nothing of real import," Castiel replied. He slid the laptop away from him, making to stand up and leave the room.
"Castiel, stay," Mary said quickly, seeing that the angel was attempting to run away from social interaction. "I'd like to talk to you."
He stopped, keeping himself seated in the wooden chair. "About what?"
"About my oldest."
"What about Dean?" Mary couldn't resist smirking at seeing Castiel's head shifted to the right, brows again furrowed in query.
"Now I see it," Mary said. Castiel didn't reply. "Why he likes you so much."
"What are talking about?" He was growing more confused.
"I was talking with Dean earlier today."
Castiel shifted back to his normal straight faced expression. "That's good. A mother and son who have been away from each other should reconnect."
"We had an interesting conversation, and you came up a few times."
Castiel's brows furrowed again. "You were discussing me? With Dean?"
"I'm sorry if you didn't want me discussing you with him."
"No, Mary, it's fine. I just don't see why you'd want to talk about me anyway."
"You and Dean are friends," Mary said. "It shouldn't be that big a surprise for my son to bring you up in conversation. Though, can I ask you something?" She sat forward in her seat.
"You can ask me anything," Castiel replied.
"Can I ask you about this bond that you two share? Dean didn't know too much about it, and it got me curious. I figured since you are on the other side of this bond, that you might be able to help me understand it better."
"It is a profound bond that has less to do with pulling him out of Hell, and more to do with how I pulled him out of Hell." Mary looked on with interest. Castiel continued. "When I gripped his shoulder with my hand, the burn that was left was due to my grace. Some of my grace entered his soul, leaving a trace of my being within him, to more easily pull his soul out of the pit. It is why I am able to hear his prayers more easily than Sam's."
"So, the bond was intentional."
"Yes," Castiel said. "I just didn't know that it had its consequences."
Mary was puzzled. "Consequences?"
"Not many humans had been raised from Perdition. None of my brothers or sisters knew what the consequences would be, if there were any. I agreed to whatever risks that would follow. I had no idea that the risks would be a bond far deeper than that between friends, between brothers. I never expected to understand human emotions. Never expected to understand the concept of love towards another being."
"Have you tried to talk to Dean?"
"No," Castiel said finitely. "There is no way a man like him would reciprocate."
Mary leaned onto the table towards the crestfallen angel. "Perhaps you should talk to my son."
Mary found her youngest son in the bunker's garage. The Impala had been parked alongside a red Aston Martin from the late 1950s. Sam stood next to a new car, ringing out water from a rag onto the floor, letting the water escape down a drain in the floor. A black 2016 Dodge Charger sat gleaming under the ceiling's florescent lights. He threw his rag into an empty bucket.
"You and Dean really are opposites," Mary said, revealing herself to her youngest son.
Sam turned to see his mother and smiled. "Yeah, he likes his classics, I like shiny and new." Sam chuckled under his breath.
"What?" Mary asked.
"It's nothing," Sam said.
"I came to ask you about Dean and Castiel. I've talked to them both, and thought it wouldn't hurt to get your opinion."
Sam leaned his ass against the passenger door of his Charger. "That's actually what I was laughing about."
"So, you know?"
"For years," Sam said. "It's been going on since, probably since Dean first met Cas."
"And nothing has happened? Sheesh," Mary said, letting out an exasperated sigh, "and I thought I was losing my mind just watching the two of them in a room together for ten minutes. When Dean introduced us, I thought I'd hear the words, 'Mom, this is my boyfriend, Castiel.'"
Sam laughed out loud. "Eight years."
Mary's eyebrows rose. "Eight years? And not once did Dean jump Cas?"
"Okay, TMI." Sam pushed himself off his car. "I really don't need the mental image."
His mother grimaced. "Sorry, sweetheart."
"All I have to say is that I'm okay with Dean's sexuality, whatever it is. I just don't want to know about it because I still live and work with the guy."
"If only he wasn't such a chicken shit."
Sam stood aghast. "Mom."
"What? I can swear." She walked off and left her son in the garage with a sly smirk on her face.
The next day Mary made for the kitchen to snag a mug of coffee. She could smell the familiar aroma of roasted beans wafting through the bunker. When she entered the kitchen, Mary stopped short. Her eldest son was in the room, mug in hand, smiling. "What's got you all giddy?"
Dean shrugged. "Ended up having a chat with Cas is all." He took a large gulp of the perfectly dark roast that had finally reached the right temperature.
"What about?" Mary poured herself a mug of coffee. She had an inkling of what it concerned but wanted to hear it from the horse's mouth.
"Got some things squared away," Dean mumbled behind his coffee.
"Care to elaborate?"
"Care to leave my relationships alone?"
Mary smirked at her eldest. "You look like your father right now. Exactly like he did when we started dating. Got the same look behind those eyes." She gently tapped her son's cheek before heading out of the kitchen, nodding at Castiel as they passed each other. Behind her she heard Dean greeting the angel.
"Good morning, Sunshine."
Mary chuckled to herself behind her cup of coffee. "It's good to be back."