JUST ANOTHER TIME TRAVEL STORY: A HARRY POTTER FANFIC

CHAPTER 1: THREESOMES AND TIME TRAVEL

You'd think that with the death of Voldemort, aka Tom Marvolo Riddle, aka the Dark Wanker, aka He-Who-Botched-Up-His-Nosejob, that everything would be peachy again the Wizarding World. Well that was naive to think. Certainly since the government was still full of bigots whom could easily be bribed by Death Eaters AGAIN and are willing to forgive the 'noble purebloods whom were misguided by a lying halfblood with delusions of grandeur'. Those idiots had rolled over when Voldemort had taken over and did nothing, after all the Ministry under Voldemort only went after those of impure blood or creatures.

Harry Potter had the choice, after his defeat to support the ministry and seen as a hero or be arrested for being a halfblood criminal whom has killed several respected purebloods. Harry said they could shove their entire policy where the sun doesn't shine. They tried to steal his properties and fortune, but Harry had been too quick and transferred his money and riches where the purebloods would never look: a muggle bank. And he intended to hide in the Muggle World as those proud purebloods would never look for him there as it was beneath him, no matter how much it would make sense to look there (most wizards aren't very good at the logic thing).

Since the government and wizard society in Britain haven't improved after several Wizarding wars it was still a breeding ground for little shits whom become even bigger shits of Dark Lords. With Voldemort gone and weaseling themselves out of Azkaban AGAIN, they not only took control of the government by preventing a decent chap like Shacklebolt from becoming Minister but also declare open season on the Muggles. That was a big mistake.

Wizards are not only outnumbered, most of them were also ignorant of the Muggle world and the process they made in the past few centuries, which includes in weapon development. A war broke out between the Wizarding world and the Muggle world, unable to be contained by Obliviators, and spilling in other countries around the world. Most of humanity, magical or not, was wiped out. Very few were left.

Harry Potter was still alive. In the new World War, he was forced to fight for his survival. The Muggles saw him as an enemy because he was a wizard. The wizards saw him as an enemy because he refused to fight for them, even when Harry had plenty of reason to refuse those bigoted, arrogant sheep. Most other nations saw him as a bounty so they can get rich a famous, including the Goblins. Little shits they are, if Griphook's conduct during the war was anything to go by.

Many of his friends and acquiantances were dead, or as good as dead. Some were blackmailed, threatened or brainwashed into fighting in the war. Some willingly went along with it, having learnt nothing despite the DA Harry and his friends had set up. Including Ron, whom was basking in so much of the fame and glory from being one of the former Golden Trio that he didn't realize the Ministry exploited him, making him a poster boy for their pureblood propaganda. Or he didn't care, who knows? Harry had stopped speaking to him as he regressed back into an arse because of it. Harry thought that he had learned, but if there is one thing that Ron was never good at, it was learning.

Now about ninety-nine point nine percent of all humans were gone. Harry knew there are still others out there but they are so thinly spread and in hiding, just like he. He had rediscovered Potter Manor with the help of Hermione during the Horcrux hunt when Ron had already left (and they didn't tell him afterwards because they were still cross with him). He had put it under so many wards Merlin himself couldn't find it. He had help with that, of course.

The help in question were now his two favorite bedwarmers. They are much more then that, they were his soulmates, his life mates, his closest friends, the only ones alive whom would never turn on him. Hermione Granger, smartest witch her age. And Luna Lovegood, whom may not always have her head in the right spot, but her heart is...Yes, they are in a three way relationship. It was war, the three cared for each other a lot, and they needed some comfort, and the three couldn't love one over the other.

Harry wondered what he did do to deserve these two wonderful ladies. Both are smart in their own way, kind, intelligent, caring, always ready to cheer him up. And both are demons in the bed. He didn't expect the bookworm Hermione to be such a vixen and Luna...well, whom could anticipate her? He wished he had been less of a berk to them in the past, with his upbringing making him emotionally stunted and naive, not to mention he wasn't always surrounded by good examples. Ron was a bad influence in that regard, always roping Harry in his own grudges against Hermione. Though the ladies knew how emotionally stunted he was and understood and forgave him, even when he didn't feel he deserved it.

They gave him the love and comfort he needed. Thanks to their support he was finally able to show his intelligent, while not stupid, he often hid it or held back due to the Dursleys not liking him being smarter then Dudley, and Ron wouldn't tolerate it, as he could barely stand Hermione being smarter. But Hermione and Luna not only encouraged his intelligent side, they rewarded him for doing well...with some snogs, some sexy cosplay and some great shags. Those were some good motivators...some really good motivators...some really, really good...yeah, you get the idea.

The three of them had, due to a life of war, been studying a lot of magic. Not just the magic everyone has to learn, but all aspects of magic, light, dark, gray, anything to give them an edge. The Ministry has censored a lot of the classes at school as a way to keep control, but they couldn't do anything to the private library of Potter Manor, which contained so much more useful stuff. In the end, the three were honed magical battle gods. Probably the most knowledgeable, the most powerful and most horniest (Luna had added that part) magical trio ever. Even when the war was over due to basically everyone being dead, they kept practicing and studying. Because there was nothing much left to do.

Harry woke up after a good night's sleep. Despite all the horrors in his life, when he safely had his lovers in his arms, he felt nothing could take him down. They had made wonderful three-way love last night...in fact every night, with a few quickies during the day. Due to scars and wounds suffered from the war none of the two could unfortunately bear children. Their physical activities of intimacy was now solely for the comfort it gave the three of them. But the ones whom did that to Hermione and Luna in the first place suffered slow and painful deaths.

It was the dawn of a new day and the three slowly woke up. "Good morning gorgeous. Good morning, gorgeous." Harry said respectively to Hermione and Harry.

"Good morning, sweet cheeks. Good morning Moonbeam." Hermione said to Harry and Luna respectively.

"Pudding." Luna said. She often said weird stuff or made of the wall comments in the morning. Harry wondered if this one was as a result of the new stance they tried, Luna really liked that one. Odd thing was there was no pudding involved whatsoever.

"What are the plans for today?" Harry asked Hermione.

"Aside from more coitus, I want to investigate the new rune cluster I've been working on, to see if it is able to stabilize our new project." Hermione noted.

"Pudding." Luna repeated.

"Well, it wasn't the quartz or the necklace, so next best thing to check is the runes. I really hope we can eventually pull this off." Harry noted.

"We will. It is just something that hasn't been done before, and even if it was, how would you know it has worked?" Hermione pointed out.

"Pudding." Luna added.

"But first some breakfast. I'm making pancakes." Harry said as he got up. Hermione followed right after, but Luna fell out the bed, flat on her face.

"Luna, you ok?" Hermione asked.

"Pudding!" Luna moaned.

After Luna got her head straigthened out...as far as that was possible with her, Harry baked some pancakes, and after eating they had a quickie, and went back to their project. They each had their specialities. Hermione had an eiditic memory when it came to learning and reading. She had all the knowledge in her head. She know what everything was and what they did. Luna had a unique viewpoint, and she was able to sense or see things others couldn't. It was really helpful. Hermione, while not malicious, had in the past berated Luna for her oddities, something she felt ashamed of. Luna was chill with it and was glad Hermione acknowledged her flaws and opened her mind a little. And her legs if she asked to. It took a lot to harsh Luna's mellow.

Harry was more of the practical guy, while smart, he was not as much the knowledge type like Luna or Hermione, but in terms of skill and power he was the best at the practical aspects of magic. So in short, Hermione worked out the plan, Luna helped iron out the kinks and add in some fun extra's, while Harry was the one best to carry it out. The three were now bent over a few plans, while in the background, a huge stone gate was erected...with a time turner locked in the arch on top of the thing.

"So when we put the limiter there...but remove another one here..." Hermione muttered.

"That would work. But the question is, how do we prevent the paradoxes of our younger selves seeing us?" Harry asked.

"Oh, didn't we mention that part? We are not sending our physical selves back, we send our minds back into our younger bodies." Luna added.

"That is possible?" Harry asked.

"In theory. It would be the best. I mean whom is going to suspect a couple of kids being able to do the things we are planning?" Hermione noted.

"I won't like being a scrawny kid again and in the care of some 'loving' relatives. But it's a small price to pay to fix everything. So many lives will be saved..." Harry noted.

"It is not like we'll be able to make it any worse. We still have to practice caution, but that doesn't mean we should let innocent people get screwed over." Hermione added.

"I am going to miss having sex." Luna said, pouting.

"How far back can you take us?" Harry asked.

"If I can really push it...back to when you were eight...young enough to prepare for what we can do at Hogwarts, but not so early we're helpless." Hermione stated.

"You mean...I can save my mother?" Luna asked, dropping her airy facade, sounding more sad serious then ever before.

"My parents for sure..." Hermione stammered, her parents being victims of the war before she could have the memory charms put on them reversed. "I don't know the precise date we'll come back but the chances you can save your mother are high. Harry, there was no way we could go back far enough to save your parents."

"I know. Even if possible, I was an infant, my magical core wouldn't have been stable or developed enough for the magic I could have used otherwise. They gave their lives so I could live. And with this second chance at live, I really am going to live." Harry said. The three exchanged a group hug to get their nerves to calm down.

"Now, we have our knowledge, we have our skills...we know our targets and we'll cripple them so they aren't threatening the future of this world." Hermione noted.

"And have a bit of fun doing it." Harry said. Harry has developed a new motto during the war: 'It is not sadism if they deserve the hurt.'

"While there are some mad dogs whom need to be put down, there are some we are not clear about. Dumbledore is a Leader for the Light, but his actions have been...questionable." Luna noted.

"The guy may be an idiot, but he's not malicious. Though he has his head so far up his own arse he can see through his mouth. He has made mistakes and refuses to acknowledge when he's wrong. Nothing wrong with seeing the best in people, but you give second chances and no more. No matter how much chances he gave his enemies, they kept botching every chance they got and Dumbles kept giving them. We are not going to destroy him, but we can perhaps entice him to retire and let the pros handle it." Harry said.

"What about Snape?" Hermione asked. She was long done blindly obeying authority figures because of the sheer incompetence and malice from some teachers and Ministry workers.

"The guy is an arse, no questions asked. A bully, whom still holds a grudge for a man whom is dead for decades, certainly petty. But he did seek out the demise of the Dark Lord. It doesn't cancel out everything he did, but he was still on our side...sort off. I don't want to kill or destroy him, but we could convince him to behave." Harry said with a sly grin.

"Draco Malfoy goes down, no questions asked." Hermione noted. The little bastard and his family started the world war in the first place. He went against the Dark Lord, but that was to save their own collective arses, as unlike Snape whom at least loved Lily, the Malfoys could never love anyone but themselves.

"Certainly not, but I won't do it quick and painless this time." Harry said. "As for Ron...he isn't a bad guy, but he has been a liability due to his pettiness, laziness and general idiocy. So no Golden Trio? At least not one where he is part of?"

"Can I torment him a little? He started the nickname 'Loony Lovegood' and flapped it out to my Housemates at the time. That and he hurt you. I am not going to kill him, but maybe we can convince him to get his act together or stay out of our way." Luna suggested. The grin she had on her face would have them almost feel sorry for Ron.

"Ok, maybe a little." Harry agreed quickly. "Now, since we are about done with the runes, how fast can we incorperate them?"

"Takes a few days, two to three, four or five at most." Hermione said. "The one thing I'm most worried about for is us. No question we all love each other. But will they allow us to be married? Will anyone accept?"

"I am not giving you up. We will find a solution for that, as much as we'll find a solutions to the Dork Lord and his Dick Munchers." Harry noted.

"Yeah, we're all in this together, forever." Luna said.

Hermione nodded in agreement. "You are right. Nothing will get in our way...this has to work...Let's get started!" Hermione said as she took her rune grafting tools.

Three and a half days of hard work and in-between shags, the trio had completed their portal to the past. The runes glowed with light blue power, the Time Turner at the top was spinning wildly. Something akin to the veil, but lighter and less ominous, pulsed in the stone arch.

"Well, this is it. Now we all go through." Hermione said. Though she was sure her she did her math right, part of her remained unsure. Harry and Luna grabbed her hands to calm her down.

"Nothing will be able to seperate us, never forget that." Harry said.

"It's now or never...there is nothing to go back to in the present." Luna said. "Only thing to go now is in the past."

The three locked hands firmly. "On three...One..." Hermione started.

"Two..." Harry added.

"Two and a half..." Luna continued.

"THREE!" the three said simultaneously, and jumped through the portal.

The Veil of Time in the portal didn't budge, as if nothing happened, but the Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood were gone from this timeline. The portal then soon imploded onto itself and the world faded out to white, as that timeline no longer existed.

Harry Potter woke up with a jerk as he bumped his head on the ceiling. He was in a small confined, dark space as he rubbed his head. "I'm back under the bloody cupboard." Harry said with a defeated sigh. He was glad that Hermione's experiment worked and he was back in time. He could have expected to be back here but he didn't have to like it. But the chance to do things over, saving a lot of people was too good to pass on.

Harry waved his hand and with a little wandless magic unlocked his cupboard. While there is a Trace, it is put on the children only when they first entered Hogwarts when entering the Hogwarts Express. Explains how Hermione could practice all those spells without reprecussions before her first year at Hogwarts. And wandless magic without a Trace is even harder to track, only a powerful magical outburst could be tracked without a Trace after all.

First thing Harry did was checking out was the time, it was about four o'clock in the morning. It's early, so his lazy relatives won't be around for a while yet. He remembered how in the future the Dursleys became witch hunters and had no qualms as selling bullshit stories to the government about him that caused him to be the most wanted wizard in the world. They were way due for some payback. But first he'll fix himself a sandwich. He was starving, again courtesy of his relatives. He'll make sure the Dursleys get what they deserved, and the grin he was sporting reminding himself of that would have put the Grinch to shame and scare the poor thing too.

Hermione woke up with a jerk too, in her old bedroom in her house in Crawley...man, did she have that much pink in her room as a girl? It was way overdue for a remodeling. She checked herself in the mirror. Damn, her hair was bushy again and she had once again her bucktooth. Harry never minded them but Hermione always disliked them. Her hair got better over time and Madam Pomfrey had done wonders for her teeth...So she remained hopeful it could be remedied this time too.

But she suddenly remembered something more dire...her parents were alive. She quickly walked down the corridor, as she saw a light coming from downstairs. She quietly went down and saw her parents had both fallen asleep in front of the television. She smiled and she couldn't hold back her tears. She quickly snuck down, careful to not make any noise. She climbed onto the sofa, and snuggled in between them. The still sleeping parents shifted, unconsiously wrapping the little girl in their arms. Hermione allowed herself to drift away to dreamland again. While Harry and Luna were great snuggle buddies, it is still different from feeling her parents' embrace again.

Luna was the third to wake up with a jerk. However, her wake-up jerk was a bit more clumsy and she fell out of her bed. "Pudding!" she muttered. After the cobwebs in her head cleared she looked at her calender and her clock. The date...No...she still had to be on time! She quickly ran down the stairs, to the basement, where her mother's lab was. At the door, she listened in, to a musical voice she hadn't heard in so long: "Now just put in that rune...and that should do it."

Luna didn't hesitate. She barged in and shouted: "Mommy, don't do it!"

Pandora Lovegood then turned around. Her long platinum blonde hair waving and her kind baby blue eyes staring into her daughter's. "Luna, you shouldn't be in here. I am doing dangerous work." she said not angrily, but sounding worried and a bit stern.

"There is a fault in the runic configuration, if you try that spell now, it will blow up!" Luna warned her.

Pandora looked in her daughter's eyes and saw something there that wasn't there before. "You are my Luna, but not the Luna I put to bed yesterday evening." she realized. She quickly checked the runes. "You're right, there is a flaw, a deadly flaw in the runes...I almost don't believe it...maybe I shouldn't do these all-nighters again." Pandora put down her wand as she turned back to Luna. "I almost did something stupid, I almost left my daughter and husband alone...This is what you came back for, isn't it, Luna? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." Pandora said as she realized what had happened.

Luna didn't feel an ounce of resentment for her mother. She only felt happiness that she would live. Luna tackled her mother in a hug, not bothering to hold back her tears. "I love you mummy..."

Pandora returned the hug. Her daughter would explain what needed to be explained later. For now she would enjoy having her daughter in her arms. "I love you too, moonbeam."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well, here it is, the first chapter of my new Harry Potter story. At first it was part of my Potterbits (my plotbunny compliation) , but now it is becoming its own story. It won't be very long. The plan was a prologue chapter and one chapter per year up until year four. But the prologue will be in two chapters now as it become longer then expected. It may be possible each year is giong to split up as well.

Anyhow, most of the fic will be centered around comedy, but due to the reunions with relatives of course some touching family moments had to be in it as well.

Now, there will be character bashing. They are in two categories. The first category are irredeemable, like Voldemort and his Death eaters, Draco Malfoy and Dolores Umbridge. They will suffer and they will not live this fanfic through.

The second category are those whom will be bashed but I will not destroy them. Snape, Ron and Dumbledore. They have their good sides, but they made too much mistakes and have had to many dickish moments; For them the bashing is more like straightening them out instead of destroying them. The bashing won't be as bad but there will be.

But all around, this is going to be a comedy, I have some funny jokes in mind, I hope you'll find them funny enough too.