Chapter 1: Skull is a perfectly awesome omega and all the other Arcobaleno are alphas. Skull can't be the only person confused as to why he doesn't have a harem yet. It's right there! Everything is set up, so why is no one cooperating?

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"So," Skull says.

Colonnello does a full body flinch and whips around, clutching the ear Skull whispered into like some old fashioned maiden caught in only her night gown. "What the fuck?" Colonnello turns sideways on the couch. "How long have you been here?"

"Oh, you know," Skull muses.

Three hours, hoping that Colonnello or Lal -maybe both- would spontaneously have a rut while they sparred in the backyard and Skull could jump in to save the day.

Skull vaults over the back of the couch and bounces when he lands. "So, hey."

"No."

Skull pauses. "Alright. However-"

"A hundred percent no. Get away from me."

Skull whines, slumping down. "You haven't even heard what I want to ask."

Colonnello grimaces. "I can smell your pre-heat pheromones. No. Put on some deodorant."

Skull squints at him. "Am I…tempting you?"

"You smell like instant noodles. Reheated. In the microwave."

Lal comes down the stairs, drying her hair on a towel. "What is that smell? Did you burn somethi-" She stops. "Oh. Hello, Skull."

"I need you to do something," Skull says, hands clasped together, peering up at Viper from where he's kneeling on the ground. "I need you to fuck me."

"I would rather pay you to leave my house."

Skull shakes his hands around for emphasis. "Okay but let's pretend. We don't have to, just lie for me."

"Please leave."

Skull bounces where he sits on the cold, hard metal of the empty bank vault he was shoved into.

Verde eyes him warily from the other side. "I want you to know that I take supplements specifically to not be affected by an omega's heat."

Skull stops bouncing. "Aww, Verde."

The door opens anyway and Fon peers inside at the hostages. "Ah, found you. Everything has been taken care of."

"Thank God," Verde sighs in relief.

He steps out and slams the door shut in Skull's face, only to come back with some kind of fire hydrant thing that stops the heat dead. Skull pouts particularly hard during the debrief.

Skull bursts into the door, dropping the picklocks and kicking it shut. He runs up the stairs while stripping himself so he bounces off a couple of walls, knocks some stuff over. Doesn't matter because he smells a delicious alpha in rut.

The bedroom door opens before Skull can kick it in and a Fon wearing only his pants frowns at him, hair messed up and bite marks scattered over his shoulders and neck.

Skull throws his arms up. "What the hell, Fon? This was my chance!"

Reborn, reduced to non-verbal snarling, still has good enough aim to pelt Skull in the face with a vibrator.

Skull is thrown out onto the street and Fon kindly tosses his clothes out after him.

"Oh no," Skull slurs when Lal drags the other woman off him. "Guess I've been drugged. Oops. I suppose one of you is just going to have to-"

Verde easily pulls out a syringe. Skull tries to weakly crawl away but damn those drugs are actually pretty strong. It's still nothing compared to Verde's antidote.

Mammon snaps their fingers a few times. "Skull. Skull, are you even paying attention?"

Skull sighs, loud and long before lifting his head from the table and propping it on a hand. "Am I that undesirable?"

"Yes," Reborn deadpans.

Lal smacks him on the thigh. "No, you just sniff around where you're not wanted."

Reborn raises an eyebrow. "How is that any nicer than what I just said?"

"I actually just hit you because I like it."

Reborn smirks and leans in for a filthy kiss, Lal digging her nails into his inner thighs.

Skull sighs again, even louder and longer. "What part of me-"

"All of it," Reborn mutters around the kiss and then moans when Verde leans in from behind and bites into the hitman's neck.

Skull flops back into his chair. "Someone other than Reborn; what part of me is such a turn off?"

Fon hums. "I wouldn't put it like that. It is simply a matter of preference."

"Well what part of me don't you prefer?"

Fon shrugs. No one else is paying attention because they've gravitated towards what is the beginnings of yet another orgy that Skull isn't invited to.

Skull huffs in annoyance and settles in to watch.

The Arcobaleno genuinely don't understand what makes them view Skull as a complete non-entity in terms of lust. It's not that they look at him in disgust or think he's not their type. It is quite purely instinct that makes them push him away.

Then Aria is born and it all slots into place. Because now there's a child to care for and Skull -cute, innocent and bubbly little Skull- no longer triggers strange parental instincts in the Arcobaleno. Skull was always toeing the line between a potential mate and a dependant, so he ended up confusing everyone.

Having a genuine child means Skull is firmly pushed into the mate category.

They still don't fuck him though because it's funnier this way.