Disclaimer: I do not own the Green Rider series or any of the characters. They all belong to the amazing writer Kristen Britain!

How could she have tried keep them apart? She had known love, and allowed herself to love. Yet she was trying to stop these two from ever knowing the meaning of love. She saw how it hurt her monarch when Karigan was hurt. She saw and she still tried to keep them apart. She tried to break that connection and deny both the comfort and company of the other. How could she?

Laren Mapstone sighed, cradling her head in her hands. Was she trying to protect them from the pain of love? Choking back a sob, she leaned back in her chair and looked out of the window. She could see King Zachary taking a walk with Lady Estora. He looked happy and loving, but she could see through his mask. Inside, he was empty. Every moment spent with Lady Estora was a stab to his heart. She may have not caused the marriage contract to be signed but she did cause the emptiness he felt inside. She had separated him from Karigan for so long. She had thought she was stilling the hurt that they felt inside, but instead, she was only feeding it. They were so empty. She was so empty.

When was the last time she had smiled freely? Pain flashed upon her face as she remembered the answer. It was when she was with Evran. He had made her feel alive, but now that he was gone, she felt so dead. Laren tried her hardest to forget those memories but they always flooded back into her mind. He would come up behind her while she was working and would drop a box of Dragon Droppings, her favorite chocolates, on her desk and give her a kiss. They would go riding together and he would use his special ability to create a gentle gust of wind that would send them soaring in the air together. And then, one day, he proposed.

She knew the answer the moment he asked the question. She knew that he was the one she wanted to be with. She wanted no other person and she had accepted, overjoyed. They had made arrangements for the wedding, and all those she knew were to be invited. At that time, King Amigast was still on the throne. He was kind enough to grant the couple a marriage of a higher scale than what they had planned. They had been so happy, and Laren couldn't wait till the wedding. But then, the raid had happened.

It was a large army that had marched on the castle. She had fought along Evran's side, defending her home and monarchs. She had tried so hard to protect the castle and Evran but she could only watch as he was struck by the sword. At that moment, the world around her ceased to exist. She could only see herself kneeling down to a fatally injured Evran.

"We will meet again. I love you." she whispered aloud. Those were his dying words, and tears began to form in her eyes. He had closed his eyes and had taken his last breath. The rest of it was all a blur. She remembered going into a blind rage, taking down the person who had killed him, and fighting back with all her strength. They had won. After that, she vaguely remembered shutting herself in her quarters and refusing to come out for a month or two. When she finally did come out, she avoided everybody, not wanting to hear their condolences. At night, she had terrible nightmares, and was forced to relive the moment of his death over and over again. Tears now flooded freely from her eyes.

"Why couldn't I have protected you?"she sobbed. What would he think of her now? She had betrayed her King and rider, trying to protect from the heartache she now felt. She had it so much easier than the other two did, and she was allowed to get married to Evran. There was no class that could get in the way of their love. Yet now, Zachary and Karigan were fighting heartache to do what was right for Sacordia. And she only increased that heartache. Would he love her the same way if he was alive? Would he hate her for doing what she was to Karigan and Zachary? Sighing, she took two sheets of paper from her desk and began to write letters.

Dear Zachary,

You have known me from a young age. I always felt that there was something special in you and I was right. There was a brilliant young king who would rule Sacordia with peace and do what was right for his country. What I didn't know was that Karigan would come into your life and that you would fall for her and she for you. When I realized, I felt this need to protect both of you from what i have felt for many years. I should have talked with both of you, but I didn't think of that. I acted. I shouldn't have sent Karigan on the mission to Selium and Mirwell for the reasons I did. I thought i was protecting both of you. I thought that sending her away for a bit would help you both to forget and heal the hurt you felt. Instead, I unknowingly fueled it. When you asked me to give her your messages, I destroyed them. I do not ask for your forgiveness. I am not worthy of your forgiveness. You have every right to hate me, as does she. I truly regret my actions, and wish that I had never committed them.

I wonder if you remember Evran. We were supposed to get married but he died in a raid on the castle then. It hurt so badly after that, and it still does. He was a rider. Karigan is a rider. I don't want you to suffer like I have for most of my life. Any day, the same thing could happen to Karigan. She could be killed in a raid or on a mission. I want you to understand that once the pain appears, it never disappears.

...

Dear Karigan,

When you first came to Sacor City with a message from F'ryan Cobblebay, I didn't know that you would end up as one of Sacordia's greatest heroes. Neither did I know that you would fall in love with one of Sacordia's greatest Kings. When I realized, I did my utmost to destroy that love between you. I sent you away on that errand to Selium and Mirwell and I destroyed letters King Zachary entrusted to me to give to you. My actions were disgraceful and I know that there is no reason for you to forgive me. I thought I was doing you a favor. Instead, I was tearing love apart.

Years ago, before King Zachary became ruler of Sacordia, I had fallen in love with a person named Evran. He was also a rider, and we were supposed to be married. You have probably not heard of this before but there was a raid on the castle. We fought together, but in the end, his life was taken by a sword. The years after that have been the worst years of my life. I felt so empty and dead without him and I still do. Karigan, I thought I was protecting both you and King Zachary from the pain that I have felt these years since Evran died. Instead, I only brought more pain into your lives.

...

(Continuation of both letters)

When Evran died, he told me a few words with his dying breath. "We will meet again. I love you." he said. Those words have remained with me my whole life. I have waited too long, and stayed away too wish is for you two to share the love and have the life I never had. This letter is to say goodbye. We will meet again.

Laren Mapstone

King Zachary rushed out of his study, running as fast as he could to Laren's office. How could she do this to him? He didn't care about the destruction of the letters or her other actions. She couldn't leave him. She was the only real family he had. She had been like an older sister to him, always watching out for him and protecting him. She couldn't leave this world! At the same time, Karigan ran towards Mapstone's office, nearly colliding with King Zachary. They both knew why the other was here. King Zachary tried twisting the handle, but it was stuck. Ramming his shoulder into the weak door, he rushed inside with Karigan. She was gone.

Shock absorbed them. Where was she? Realization flickered through their eyes as they left the room as quickly as they entered. They ran along the corridors, racing past the king's chambers, and up the flights of stairs that led to the tower. Surely she couldn't. She wouldn't leave them like this. It was just a joke that she was trying to play or someone wanted to distract them. She would be all right. They reached the top of the stairs and without hesitation opened the door.

She could see his face on the rocks below her. He was smiling, asking her to come and be with him. He held his arms open to her, if only she would come to him. With a smile, she nodded. She could faintly hear a door opening, and two voices call her name. They seemed so familliar, but she shook her head, forgetting about them. Stepping up on the ledge, she smiled to Evran below her.

"It is time to meet again."

She jumped.

She was falling, slowly falling. How she wished that she would drop faster. He seemed so far away, if only she could reach him. She felt her eyelids grow heavy and knew that he would catch her when she reached him. Closing her eyes, she slipped into oblivion.

Where are you? I can't see you! Evran? I must open my eyes. I must!

She opened her eyes to see two blurry faces towering over her. Where was Evran? She could not recognize these two. Did she know them? Lifting her hand, she rubbed her eyes and looked at the two again. Memory flooded back to her. She had been falling. This was not heaven. This was... a room in the Mending wing? Instead of Evran, a very terrified King Zachary and a very concerned Karigan had caught her when she fell. Where was he?

"Where..." she managed to whisper. Then, she remembered. Something had caught her foot when she fell, and then more had grabbed onto her. Had it been them? Had they stopped her from reaching Evran? Anger seeped through her veins. How could they stop her from meeting Evran again? She tried to sit up but a gentle force on her shoulder pushed her back down on her bed.

"How could you do this to me?" Zachary whispered. "The letters don't matter. Why did you try and leave us? I was so scared Laren. I thought you were gone!" he sobbed. She had not seen him cry like this since he was a little child. Karigan touched his hand with her own and he clasped it tightly, trying to hold back tears. She wanted to say that she was sorry, that she didn't know it would cause him this much pain, but she was so tired.

"Goodnight, not goodbye."

A/N Sorry its so horrible, especially towards the end. I had the ideas in my head, I just didn't know how to write it. Sorry it seems so rushed. Please R&R. Thx.

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