A/N: BLARG. I seriously need to write more. e_e It's.. such a good way to relieve me of all the stress I'm always under, I've discovered! But yeah. I was writing this in a little journal I bought, and was thinking I was going to try and fill the entire journal! But.. Kuroshitsuji has officially ended, so I think I've lost my muse for that.. The ending was.. damn. POOR SEBASTIAN! I mean, I loooove the fact that they'll be together forever, but it's just... so unfair. D;
Anyway..!Warnings: Gorey scenario, but it's not really described. ;3
Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji.. If I did, the end wouldn't have been like that. ewe
-pats demon!Ciel-
Be nice to Sebby now, neh?
And yes, there will be a part 2. ;3 sdfjasdkljkl! Please review :D !
It's dark here —
Where am I?
I call out, but even the darkness doesn't reply.
I scream —
Am I screaming?
I can't tell.
A light chuckle. Who's laughing?
It sounds like... me —
"Who are you?" I yell out.
A chuckle again.
"I'm you — but I'm not." I answer.
The me that answered was me,
yet not me.
A different me.
Where is this other me?
I see no one —
The darkness suddenly isn't so dark,
I notice.
It's bright all of a sudden —
there's a fire?
I squint.
A mansion is on fire.
My mansion.
Is it a mansion..?
My head hurts.
Everything hurts.
Help me —
People are burning, I notice.
Mom and dad and —
was there someone else?
I can't remember...
My head feels like it's splitting.
Screams pierce my ears.
"Stop it — !"
Their screams swallow mine.
"Young Master.."
What a devilish voice...
I've heard it before —
"SOMEBODY PLEASE — !"
I'm not in the darkness anymore.
Not completely.
I'm watching myself.
I'm watching hands roaming all over my body.
I'm scared —
" — HELP ME!"
Everything is red.
… Is it?
My head hurts again.
My vision is blurry...
"Don't look away."
My eyes snap open.
The me,
the me covered in blood and filth,
calls out to me.
"But I'm scared — "
"This is you.
This is what you have forgotten."
He — no, the other me,
is suddenly in front of me,
surrounded by.. feathers?
"He made you forget."
Click.
The feathers are swirling closer around me.
"Who is he?"
I clench my fists.
Clack.
He — no, I, am smirking.
And then the other me is gone —
swallowed by the blackness of the feathers around me.
"You musn't forget."
It's a hollow voice,
but I know that it's mine.
"Don't let them overthrow you —
You're the King. You control the pawns."
And then I'm not me anymore.
Image after image,
scene after scene,
memory after memory...
They all flood back to me.
"Young Master..."
I know this voice.
"Young Master."
Ah, yes, that's Seb —
"STOP SQUIRMING!"
The pain, once dulled, returns.
That's not my voice.
That's not me, or the other me.
I can feel fingers lacing around my throat,
something moist sliding around my face,
but there's no one there —
"AUGHHH!"
That's my voice.
I'm screaming.
Why..?
Something is invading me —
Funny, were my eyes always closed?
I open them, slightly, to a shocking sight.
It's not me who's plunging their tongue into my right eye —
It's not me.
It's someone else.
I'm screaming again.
Or maybe I was screaming the whole time.
I'm not sure...
It's painful, but I can't quite call it the source of my pain.
Why is he doing this?
Who is he?
Who am I?
There's a smirk on his face.
And it grows as realization hits me.
What's that in his hand?
My eye —
That can't be my eye.
It's strange —
there's a strange symbol burned on it.
It's almost... demonic.
But it's not my eye.
It can't be...
can it?
The other, a blonde boy,
he's licking the eye in his hands.
I shudder.
I can feel him licking it...
Licking me...
It is my eye —
Oh, there's something wet on my face.
And I finally notice it.
I finally notice the blood seeping from where my eye should be.
Some drips on my fingers.
My eye, the only one I have now,
glances at it.
It's not red...
it's black.
He's laughing.
It's a disgusting laugh.
His cackles don't quiet as he plays with my eye.
"It's so beautiful, Ciel."
"C-Ciel?"
Is that me?
Is 'Ciel' my name?
It's so familiar, but it makes my head ache.
"Has little Ciel forgotten who he is?"
He's cackling again.
"That would mean...
Do you not know that he did this to you?"
I'm screaming.
Blood is pouring out.
He's forcing my eye back into place.
"Forget about him and all of your petty memories."
His tongue is at my ear.
"I'll take much better care of you..."
"Who is he?"
My voice is louder than I had meant for it to be.
My cheek starts to hurt.
He slapped me.
"Don't you DARE raise your voice at — "
"WHO IS HE?"
And for the first time, I look into his eyes.
Hopelessness, anger, despair.
That's all I can see in his frozen eyes.
I see something else though...
deep within, I see loneliness.
"Why do they all want you —
Why doesn't anybody want me?"
And he's crying.
He's crying and strangling me.
I shouldn't feel bad for him.
I know I shouldn't.
But I do —
We stay that way, as his tears run dry.
His hands get tighter around my throat,
anger clearly visible in his eyes,
but I still feel bad for him.
They want me?
I laugh, and his grip loosens a bit.
I probably surprised him.
"Why would anybody want me?
I wouldn't even want me."
My hands are now right over his,
circling my own neck.
"I have no idea who I am —
All of these memories in my head,
I can't make sense of them.
They're not mine. They can't be."
And now my hands are the ones tightening around my throat.
"It's funny."
He looks at me.
"I can see myself in all of these memories,
but I just don't... fit.
It's like an unfinished puzzle,
but I'm not the piece that makes it whole."
And now he's smirking.
"It's too bad he isn't here for you."
His arms drop, and mine don't.
His hands aren't laced around my neck, and mine are.
He's not gasping for air, and I am.
"This is an order..."
My breaths are shallow, and my vision is blurred.
"Save me, Sebastian — "
And I fall.