Disclaimer: I do not own SPN but this story is totally mine.
A/N: Kind of a sequel to "Finding Home", but you don't have to necessarily read the other story for this one.
Rated very M!
Finding Peace
Dean woke up to the muffled sound of running water from the bathroom and turned around to face the door that was right next to his bed. Behind it was Cas, the water running down over his well muscled body that Dean loved even more each day, rinsing away the remains of the things they had done last night. With a smile he sat up in bed and thought about the past few months. It had all happened so fast: he had lived on the streets for nearly a year when he had met the waiter in a small but cozy diner in this small town. Never would he forget how his heart had stuttered when Dean had first lain eyes upon Cas. From the first moment, he wanted him. He would never forget how Cas had taken him home and their first night together. The attraction had been there from the beginning and it was still prominent between them. Dean would never forget the way he had felt when he had left Cas behind because he had refused to become a burden to him. Back then the younger man hadn't understood that Cas needed him, no matter who he was. It was great to know that there was someone who hadn't just seen the homeless person but the story behind! They lived together for nearly a year now, now, and Cas had always given Dean the feeling that he was welcome to share everything with him.
When Cas stepped out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist Dean smiled up at him brightly and the smile was returned, warming his heart and soul from the inside out. "I was hoping to wake up next to you…" Dean complained, the smile still on his face so that Cas knew he wasn't really complaining. The raven haired man sat down on the edge of the bed, bending down to press a kiss to Dean's temple.
"I'm here, now." His hand went through Dean's hair and he couldn't resist the urge to lie down next to his lover and wrap him up in his arms. They both would never forget how much they had missed each other when Dean had left Cas for two months and Cas had thought he would never see him again.
"When do you have to leave?" Dean inquired and Cas smiled, knowing that Dean would get what he wanted one way or the other. Dean had found a job in the garage down the street and the owner was very pleased with him and so was Cas. He had seen the potential in the man and he had been sure that Dean would be a great worker if he got the chance to get a job. Once he got it, Cas' assumptions have been confirmed and he was proud that his lover had found his way back into a normal life so easily.
"I won't tell you." Cas whispered right next to Dean's ear which sent shiver after shiver down the younger man's spine and made him close his eyes with a shaky breath. When his earlobe was taken between sharp teeth Dean hissed. "Maybe I have a surprise for you, as this is your first day off in months." A smile spread on the mechanic's lips.
"Does it involve staying in bed all day?" Dean whispered, already lost in Cas' ministrations. The waiter gave a slight chuckle.
"No. But for another few hours if you like to." Greedy hands wandered beneath the sheets and Cas was pleased when he found that Dean was still naked. The raven haired man still couldn't believe how much he had fallen for this man, how much he already trusted him after all that had happened to him in the past. Dean had poofed the hurt and broken heart away as if it was nothing. Sometimes Cas still feared betrayal behind every corner but with every day that passed with Dean by his side he got more and more assured that this was a normal relationship because Dean gave as much as he took and more.
"Whatever you want, Cas." The words came out with a lost breath. "I'm yours."
"Yes… that you are!" Cas murmured and lay down next to his lover, pressing his strong chest against Dean's side, feeling the warmth of the other man's skin on his own. "I want you, love." Cas whispered into his ear, kissing the sensitive shell. The words were enough to make Dean's blood run south and he felt himself harden for his lover. Cas knew and so his hand went down under the sheets, slowly stroking Dean's length up and down in a lazy rhythm.
"God, Cas, please! Don't tease me now! Just take me already!"
"You love when I tease you." Which was true. Dean knew when arguing wouldn't lead him anywhere and s he shut up and enjoyed what Cas did to him.
….
"So, what is the surprise?" Dean asked when they sat together in Cas' car. The younger man was too curious and maybe Cas would have told him already if he wasn't so cute when he was like this. But the waiter enjoyed that Dean was clueless and excited at the same time and he smiled over at him for the hundredth time. At least it felt like it.
"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, right?" He asked and the other man gave him a faked pout.
"Caaas… please? I've been so damn patient the whole day, I wanna know now." Cas' blue eyes shot over to Dean and he was caught off guard by the intense gaze he was getting from the man next to him, his blue eyes darker than usual, as well as his voice when he spoke.
"You call yourself patient after you begged me to 'stop being such a tease and take you'?" Dean's face got a deep crimson shape when he thought back to what they had done this morning and that Cas now used it to tease him even more. The silence was immediate and Cas gave a satisfied nod and smiled. God, Dean was definitely the one for him. Though the other man acted as if he was cool and didn't care at all, Cas knew that his façade wasn't so well maintained around him and it made him happy and proud that the younger man was himself when he was with Cas.
The silence that followed Cas' words wasn't uncomfortable and when Dean switched on the radio and settled back into his seat Cas knew that he had won. The other man would stay silent for the rest of the trip and obediently wait where his lover might take him. Dean didn't know how nervous Cas was, he didn't know that the waiter was about to do something that could change both their lives and relationship. He took a steadying breath, gripping the wheel tightly, while going a little bit faster. If Cas was honest to himself he was more than afraid, he was downright scared of how Dean would react to his little surprise.
When he pulled the car to a stop Dean looked up at him and smiled. "Are we there?" He asked and Cas nodded. The car parked in front of a fancy hotel as far as Dean could see and he instantly felt shabby in his jeans and plaid shirt. Cas hadn't told him that he would need some other clothes and now it was too late to change. He stared out of the window at the well lit place in the dark woods. It was an old mansion, the brick walls were lined with ivy. It was a two story building that looked wonderfully inviting and open with the huge windows and balconies that were lined with hanging flower pots. The garden in front of it was well maintained, the plants all cut accurately. It looked like a scene from a postcard and with a gulp Dean turned around to face Cas. "I guess you got the wrong address?" He asked but this time the other man shook his head. Again Dean's eyes went over to the hotel and suddenly he felt as small and shabby as he had felt while living on the streets. He had never been in a hotel before, he had never taken a vacation before, this was all so new to him.
"No, this is the right address. We will have a nice dinner tonight and take a walk around the lake that lies just behind this hotel. It is beautiful at night. And after that we will go to our room where I will throw you onto the bed and fuck you right through the mattress until you scream my name." Again Dean gulped – he knew Cas would keep his promise - but he did not forget that he actually felt too shabby for such a fancy place.
"That sounds – sounds great, Cas." He said, his voice breathless from the pictures his lover had planted into his brain. "But don't you think that I'm a little bit underdressed? I mean…" He was at a loss of words. "Just a jeans and shirt?" Cas gave a slight laugh.
"There are some clothes we can change into in the trunk. I thought about everything, you will see. And people will not stare at you because of your clothes. They will stare at you because of the way you hold your head high and smile and because they can see the beauty in you." Wow, where did these words come from? Cas often told Dean how he thought about him but in a more…direct way, avoiding sappy scenes like this. "And they will be jealous of me because I'm the one who takes you to bed tonight." Cas' hand reached out to grab the side of Dean's face. "Don't worry love, everything will be fine." The younger man just nodded and followed Cas when he got out of the car. By now Dean was used to show affections to a man in public but that was in their usual surroundings, this was new and kind of intimidated him. So this time it was Cas who walked over to him and reassuringly laced an arm around Dean's hips, pressing the man close to his body, making him stronger with this simple gesture.
They took the small bag Cas had prepared out of the trunk and walked over to the entrance of the hotel. It had a glass door that was polished so well that Dean nearly hadn't seen it while he admired the marble steps they were walking up before they entered the huge lobby. The light was warm and made you instantly feel at home and there were pots full of fresh flowers everywhere. A red plushy sofa stood by the wall to their right and matching red carpets and drapes suppressed any loud noises. It was so nice and cozy that Dean realized that he was staring a little too late, because Cas had already caught him.
"Do you like it?" He asked and walked Dean over to the reception where young woman in a red and black uniform greeted them with a smile that was as warm as the light that illuminated the room.
"It is truly awesome." Dean said, then shut his mouth, not wanting to say something that would embarrass Cas while he was talking to the woman who checked them in, then handed Cas the key card to their room.
"First story, up the stairs and then the third room to the left. Your dinner will be served at eight." She pointed to a double door behind them. "Right there in our dining room. If there is anything we can do for you, just call reception or room service." Cas thanked her and lead Dean towards the stairs, following her description to their room. Now that he had seen the lobby, Dean was more than curious what their room would look like. When Cas opened the door he let the other man enter before him and followed close at his heels, his hands on Dean's back, taking in the other man's reaction. The room was as huge as their whole apartment, the colors the same as in the lobby below: red, gold and some black here and there. Their bed stood against the left wall, facing the huge glass doors that lead to a balcony. The younger man didn't know what to say.
"Wow, Cas… This is just great… But you still haven't told me why we are here…" Firm hands grabbed Dean's shoulders and he was turned around to look into Cas' wonderful deep blue eyes that had attracted him from the very beginning.
"I just thought it would be nice to get out of our life for a few hours." He kissed Dean's forehead, because he knew the other man would close his eyes at that and then placed small kisses on the eyelids of his lover. "And I wanted to see you lie in red satin sheets for a change. They will highlight your gorgeously tanned skin so well when you lie naked and spent between them." Cas' words never failed to turn Dean's knees to jelly and he felt light headed like a love sick teenager.
"Cas…" Dean whispered, the name falling from his lips like a prayer. Little over a year ago the mechanic wouldn't have dared to dream about finding a person like Cas. A friend, a lover and home to him. Sometimes he feared that he would wake up in the morning to a cold reality and this had all been a dream. After falling in love with the waiter he had realized that there was more to trust: the fear that you might lose a loved one to be left alone. Dean didn't know what he would do if Cas would leave him. Maybe his heard would just stop beating. The mere thought about it brought tears to his eyes. "Please don't ever leave me."The words left his mouth before he could stop himself from saying them. Dean groaned inwardly, he hated it, when he showed his addiction to the man too openly, there was something in him that still told him to be careful, not to trust too easily but with Cas it was already too late for these warning to knock at the back of his head. No matter what happened, he had hopelessly fallen for the blue eyed angel.
Said man let his hands wander over Dean's hair to the back of his neck, caressing the sensitive skin there. "Never, Dean." Was his whispered answer. Did his hands shake? Before Dean could try to look into this further Cas had released him and took a step back to throw the bag at Dean. "Pull on some other clothes, we will go down for dinner in a few minutes." He ordered and even though Dean tried to get a close look at his hands he couldn't see if they were shaking because was doing something with them the whole time. Had he just lied to Dean as was therefore nervous? Was this the way Cas split up with him? No, it couldn't be, he wouldn't take Dean to a fancy hotel, have dinner with him, spend the night here and in the morning he would dump him, would he? That was just weird! But Dean's imagination had already been triggered and so he thought this over and over again while he got out of his simple jeans and plaid shirt and put on the white shirt and black trousers Cas had put into the bag for him.
"Tada!" He said when he was finished and Cas smiled brightly at him. The waiter took the tie from the bag – Dean had hoped he wouldn't think of it – and came over to his lover to throw it around his neck.
"You're beautiful, Dean." Cas said while he was tying the knot at the other man's neck. This time Dean had the chance to get a glimpse at Cas' hands and he was indeed shivering slightly. For a few seconds Dean fought with himself if he should ask Cas about it but while he was still contemplating if he wanted to hear the answer, his hands reached out to grab Cas' wrists gently.
"Is everything okay, babe? Are you cold?" Cold? Where the hell did this come from? Cas was never cold, on the contrary, he was like a heater when Dean was cold.
"Everything's fine, Dean, don't worry." Cas answered slowly and with a smile. "I was just nervous if you would like my surprise, that's all."
"I love it!"
….
After dinner Cas lead Dean out of the hotel. It was a nice and warm night, there were no clouds to cover the stars and the younger man enjoyed that he could see them all so very clear without the lights that obscured them at home. He let his head fall back and gazed to the sky through the trees that surrounded them. Cas smiled at him, watching him closely. His face seemed so young out here, while he looked at the stars in awe. Never would he get enough of this man who came from nowhere to be with him. With a pounding heart Cas grabbed Dean's hand and pulled him closer to his side.
"We will go to the lake just behind that forest. The view is even more stunning from there." Dean just nodded and let himself being lead through the forest. The farther they got away from the hotel the darker it got, there were absolutely no lights out there but the light from above was just enough to see everything in his way. The trees were huge, it felt as if they were older than time and it made the men feel strangely small. When Cas stepped out of the forest to the shore of the lake he turned around to face Dean who looked around with an open mouth, staring, taking in his surroundings. "Didn't I tell you it was stunning at night?"
"Wow! That's awesome!"
"I knew you would like it." They began to walk around the lake, following a small path that lead them around it, always close to the water. When they were on the other side of the lake Cas suddenly stopped, looking out over the lake. Dean nearly bumped into his lover because Cas kind of blocked his way. "Dean, there is something I wanted to tell you." He said, his voice low but Dean could still hear that he was nervous like hell. His own limbs began to shake because he thought everything was fine between them, so what was it that Cas needed to tell him? His heart wanted to leap out of his chest, he guessed that Cas was able to hear the heavy pounding.
Cas couldn't hear Dean's heart pound over the thundering rhythm of his own. His hand went into his pocket and he grabbed the small thing that was in there since he had planned this little trip. He couldn't breathe because he would risk everything, now. With a deep breath he had a thousand thoughts run through his head. First of all Cas was afraid because his last relationship had been a disaster and the more he had opened up to the woman, the more she had used him, so opening up to Dean was hard for him and he felt exposed, he felt as if he was doing something unbelievably stupid but each time his lover smile made worth it and made him know that everything would be okay in the end. There were also images of the future in his head: waking up next to the beautiful young man for the rest of his life, holding him close, images of Christmases they would spend together, maybe they could afford a longer trip sooner or later, he imagined himself with Dean on a tropical Island or in an ancient city in Europe… There was so much room for imagination that the possibilities seemed endless.
But there was also a possibility that Dean would reject him, laugh at him like Caroline had done years ago. Cas could still see her face and the ugly smile when he thought back to the day his whole life shattered to pieces. Having to endure this a second time would kill him, fear ate him up and for a split second he asked himself why he was doing this. Because he loved Dean more than anything. He had never felt like this before and his love beat the fear of rejection and betrayal.
Dean gasped when Cas fell to his knees in front of him while grabbing his hands with his trembling fingers. The younger man had expected a lot to happen but definitely not this! Gaping down at his lover was everything he could do, his blood rushing so loud in his ears that he could barely hear Cas' words over it, but he absorbed every one of it nevertheless.
"Dean…" He took a shaky breath. "Will you marry me?" All his plans to tell the other man how he felt and what went through his head were blown away and all he could ask was this question, the most important thing, everything else could wait until later. Seconds stretched to eternities while Dean just stared at Cas, his eyes clouded over with something so intense that it blew Cas' mind: love and trust for him. Dean was just the same as Cas when it came to love and relationships, they were both afraid to let go and they would never hurt the other. The sudden realization hit Cas with the force of a huge wave, making him happy like nothing else ever could.
"Cas…" Dean croaked, the word everything that was on his mind before he remembered what the other man had asked him just a second ago. "Yes. Yes, of course Cas, yes!" With these words he flung himself into the raven haired man's arms, hugging him close, kissing him with the force of a drowning man. If Cas had had any doubts that Dean really wanted him, they were just swiped away by the tongue in his mouth that devoured him thoroughly. God, he was relieved and happy but trembling like a leaf in Dean's arms.
"I forgot something." Cas whispered breathlessly when Dean was done kissing him. The thing had been in his hand the whole time but he had really totally forgotten about it. "Give me your hand, love." The other man did as he was told and while they were both kneeling beside the lake Cas slipped the ring he had held tight the whole time onto Dean's finger. The younger man looked at the silver band that fit just perfectly, then smiled up at Cas.
"It's beautiful." He said then kissed Cas again. "Thank you so much, Babe. I would never have guessed what you had planned for tonight." Only then did he realize that his lover was still shaking violently and he pulled them both up into a standing position, hugging Cas close to his chest. "That's why you were nervous, right? You're still shaking…." Cas made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob.
"I shouldn't have been but you know of my past… Opening up isn't easy for me…." He said and felt nothing but relief.
"I'm so happy, Cas. Don't worry, I will make you forget everything." Another kiss to Cas' sweet lips. "And I guess I will begin with it just tonight." The mere suggestion made Cas head swim, the low voice of his lover too much to bear for his worn nerves.
"Dean..." The whisper fell from his lips while Cas was fighting for control over his lust. The closeness to Dean made it hard for him but he wouldn't take a step back for the life of him. He would never get enough of him, it kind of made him feel helpless. His body reacted on his own and before he could really think about it, he had Dean backed up against a tree, kissing him senseless with all the love he had. And it was a lot.
Within a split second Cas had pulled Dean's shirt out of the hem of his trousers, his hands wandering beneath the soft fabric, caressing the warm skin that lay beneath. His younger lover shivered from sheer joy at the touches, arching his back to get closer to Cas' body, seeking friction. Cas' lips found his again and the raven haired man liked his way into Dean's mouth, turning his fiancé's brain to mush within seconds. God, Cas was skilled.
It didn't take long until Dean was panting hard beneath Cas' hands and lips, squirming, silently begging for more. He got it, Cas couldn't hold back, he sucked and licked Dean's neck down to his collar bones, enjoying the little noises of pleasure that fell from his lover's lips that were full and pink from their long kisses.
When Cas unbuckled Dean's belt the younger man came to his senses, realizing what they were about to do and more important: where they were doing it. "Cas..." He sucked in a deep breath when a hand was pressed between his legs, teasingly caressing his length.
"Yes, love?" Cas mumbled while nibbling below Dean's ear, the sensation making him melt into Cas' arms.
"What if... someone comes and sees us here?" It was the last clear thought that went through Dean's brain.
"The only one who will come is you." These words did it, Dean gave up. He would let Cas take him in the middle of a crowded room, if the man wanted to take him there for everyone to see, what did he care, as long as it was Cas he was with. So he let his head fall back against the tree when Cas dropped to his knees – again – and pulled his trousers down to his knees, freeing Dean's throbbing need, engulfing him with his lips as soon as he got the chance. A surprised scream was torn from the blonde's lips, he shook violently, aroused to no end by the situation.
Cas' talented lips and fingers made him mad, he saw stars, unable to stop the moans. He didn't last long – maybe being out in the open did it – and came into Cas' mouth, his body shaking violently from the force of his orgasm.
Dean didn't know when Cas stood up, but when he opened his eyes again Cas looked at him with those piercing blue eyes, stunning him with his intense gaze. "You're beautiful when you come for me." Dean actually whimpered at these words. "I'm not done with you, love." The promise lingered between them while Cas grabbed Dean around his waist, partly supporting him, because his knees felt like jelly. He knew that Cas would thoroughly take him back in their hotel room as he had promised earlier and he looked forward to it.
Dean was right. When they walked into their room twenty minutes later, the younger man didn't even have the opportunity to say a word before Cas opened his shirt and slipped it off his shoulders. It fell to the floor forgotten, his trousers and boxers following until he stood naked in front of his fiancé. Cas let his eyes roam over Dean's body unashamed, then he smiled and threw him onto the bed. Dean landed on his back, watching Cas as he pulled off his clothes, too, his need obvious for Dean to see.
Crawling onto the bed he positioned himself over Dean not bothering with foreplay as he was more than greedy to take the younger man.
"Mine!" Cas growled when he pushed into Dean with one slow stroke that drew a loud gasp from Dean's mouth. Today he was fine with just being taken, he enjoyed the love and strength Cas shared, he surrendered himself completely to the man he loved more than his own life. His lover took him slowly, he teased Dean by drawing back completely then sliding back home hard. The whole time he watched Dean, he watched what belonged to him, enjoying the lost look on his beautiful face.
When Dean's hips began to tremble treacherously Cas bit into his shoulder and was rewarded with another moan. "Not yet!" He Held Dean close, so close to the edge, for what seemed like an eternity, the younger man felt like he was about to shatter any second but Cas wouldn't let him.
"Cas... Cas, please, please... God! CAS!" Dean begged, screamed, pleaded.
"I told you you would be screaming my name tonight..." The older man whispered while licking Dean's neck. "Now, come for me, love." Cas never touched his lover's neglected member, he buried himself deep in his body and the other man came hard beneath him, screaming Cas' name again as if there was no tomorrow, sending Cas over the edge as well.
"God, Babe..." Dean whispered when he was finally able to breathe again, cradling his fiancé to his chest, letting his hands wander through his slightly sweaty hair. "I thought I would die..." Again he hadn't thought before he said these words but at the moment he was just fine with sharing his every thought. Cas rolled them over and grabbed the sheets so that they could cuddle together underneath.
"I will never let you go. I love you."
"Love you, too, Cas."
In the morning when they went down for breakfast Dean wasn't able to meet the eyes of any other guest. He was sure that each and every guest had heard them last night. When they sat at their table Cas slipped a finger beneath Dean's chin and made him look up into his eyes, his next words reddening Dean's cheeks to the color of tomatoes.
"Now they all know that you're mine."
END
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