This is a weird future Fimogen/Eclare/Imogeli thing.

That's kind of surprising, isn't it?

Oh well.

Vann

Imogen Moreno often found herself growing bored of the common man. Routine was far from glamorous and, unfortunately for Imogen, it was also the glue that held together the majority of her life. Routine was fun for her, in the beginning. Routine was a breath of fresh air when it meant stability in her crazy life.

Routine was nice, at first.

Dating Fiona was nice, at first…

After six years, Imogen felt- for lack of a better word- stuck. Stuck in their apartment, stuck with the business they'd opened together stuck with the weight of jewelry and presents that her girlfriend had spoiled her with and, most unfortunately for Imogen, stuck with Fiona.

It wasn't that she didn't love Fiona, and care for her, but…

Imogen was bisexual.

And, after half-a-dozen years of being in a relationship with a woman, Imogen started to realize that she missed men. She missed the way they felt, and spoke, and stood taller than her. She missed scruffy beards and scratchy kisses and deep, manly voices.

She knew she would never leave Fiona. But she felt like she owed it to herself to explore her newfound need for a Y chromosome in her life.

Imogen needed to get away, to think about all of the things in her life that she wanted to change. She sat in a retro-style diner, her retro-style diner, watching as the booths filled up with bustling customers and happy families. The Formica tabletop in front of Imogen remained littered with the contents of her purse. She glanced up at the clock lazily, noting that it was a quarter-after-four, and that she had another ten minutes to sort through her belongings before her dining partner would arrive. A waitress refilled her water cup and Imogen thanked the woman graciously before grasping a small, photo keychain in her hand.

It was a keychain from Disneyworld. Fiona had surprised her, Eli and Clare with a trip to the states, to Florida, in particular. It was a great trip, full of rides and laughs, just great memories in general.

Imogen stared at Eli in the photo. She was beaming, absolutely ecstatic as they headed down the hill of a huge roller-coaster. Clare was screaming, her face stretched with a hilarious expression of terror. Fiona was clutching onto the handlebar like there was no tomorrow. And there was Imogen, her eyes closed and a peaceful expression plastered on her face. She was happy, her stomach dropping, the air rushing all around her, the screams of everyone. It was just fun.

Owning a business wasn't fun.

Living the same life, day after day wasn't fun.

Imogen was so confused and worn-out.

The door opened and she looked up, smiling at the man who ambled in. His beard was scraggly, peppering his face messily and his hair looked a bit greasy. Slight bags hung underneath his eyes and his hands were dirty.

"Imo." He grinned, opening his arms to hug his old friend.

She jumped up and was wrapped in his embrace. She relished in the feeling of sturdy arms around her, the subtle smells of aftershave and car grease dancing in her nostrils, and the prickle of his facial hair on her neck.

Eli pulled away from the hug and sat across from her, taking in the restaurant with his eyes. "I can't believe this place is yours. It's amazing!"

"Thanks, its Fi's pride and joy." Imogen looked around at their diner and felt a sense of pride herself. It was a pretty nice place, after all. "Speaking of pride and joy… how's Clare?" Imogen forced a smile as she asked the question. It wasn't that she didn't like Clare, she just always felt like Clare had been the reason that her and Eli never got a fair chance. Not that it was a bad thing. They really were too different, and she wasn't exactly positive of her sexuality at the time. She shook away the negativity and focused on Eli. His face shone with uneasiness and he forced a subtle smirk.

"Uh, she's, uh… Clare's pregnant." Eli looked down at the tabletop and put his head in his hands. "It's all my fault."

Imogen felt her eyes grow wide and an abundance of feelings attacked her in that moment. "You're going to be a d-dad?"

Eli nodded miserably and sighed.

"Why are you so upset? You and Clare have been together for what? 6 years, on and off? Why is this such a bad thing?"

"She's so sick, Imo. She pukes all day and all night. She has no energy. She can hardly get out of bed. And she cries herself to sleep every night." Eli rubbed his forehead tiredly as he continued, "Everyone's mad that we didn't get married before having a kid. Her parents won't speak to her. Her church basically disowned her. She lost her internship because they didn't want a pregnant girl working at their firm, which means she won't get the job she was promised in two years. And…" Eli looked away shamefully and sighed.

"What it is, Eli?" Imogen asked softly, not wanting to prod, but incredibly curious as to what else could have possibly gone wrong for her friend.

"She won't speak to me. I-I told her that I wasn't ready to be a father… I asked her to get an abortion." Eli whispered the last part and put his head in his hands.

Imogen looked up at him incredulously, and did the only thing she could think of.

She slapped him.

Hard.

She left a tiny hand print on his cheek and shook her head at him.

"Elijah Goldsworthy, what the Hell were you thinking?" Imogen spat in his direction, absolutely furious that he would ask Clare... Clare Edwards- the Saint Clare- to get an abortion. It sickened her that, after all of the years they'd been together; he would even think that she'd be willing to terminate a pregnancy. After all Clare had put up with, all of the time she'd put into the relationship, Eli had the audacity to ask such a thing.

Ugh, men!

"Gosh, Imogen, I thought you were my fucking friend! Friends aren't supposed to kick you when you're down!" Eli stood up from the booth and started to walk away.

"Friends are supposed to kick your ass when you fuck up so badly that you're going to lose out on the best things in your life!" Imogen called out, not caring that she'd attracted the attention of every patron in the restaurant. It was her restaurant, anyway. Eli spun around and got in her face, infuriated with her audacity. Unlike everyone else in his life, she didn't even flinch at his rage. "Give me your best, Eli. I'm not afraid of you and I never will be." She whispered harshly.

"You don't know shit, Imogen." Eli seethed, his nose twitching with the rage that was built up inside of him. The rage toward himself, toward his friend, toward Clare's parents and her church and her internship. The world kept spitting on him and he was so angry.

"I know that you asked your religious girlfriend of 6 years to get an abortion, even though you know that she'd absolutely opposed to such things. I know that you're being a complete coward, but nobody else will tell you that because they are too afraid to set off your bipolar disorder. But I'm not afraid of you. I'm not afraid to tell you that you're being an idiot. Suck it up, Eli. Suck it up, go home to Clare, bring her some ice cream and tell her she's going to be the best mother in the world. You made that baby, now you are going to have to deal with it. Just because life gets serious doesn't mean you can just walk out and abandon everything! This isn't something minor, Eli. This is your child. A child that you made, with the woman you love. You can't run away from this."

Then, it hit her. It hit her heart like a snowball to the face.

Imogen was going to do to Fiona what Eli was doing to Clare.

She was walking out because of the responsibility. She was walking out because life wasn't as fun anymore.

She was doing the exact same thing as Eli. But instead of a child being involved, there was a business, an apartment, three kittens and 7 years' worth of memories.

"I'm scared." Eli whimpered, falling back into the booth and burying his face in his hands.

"She's scared too… Everyone is against her. And she feels like you're against her too." Imogen plopped down in the booth next to him and pulled his face from his hands. "You need to go home and fix this."

Eli looked into her eyes deeply and leaned closer, inhaling her scent deeply. "What if I don't want to? What if I just want to stay here, with you?"

Imogen felt her lips tingle at his glare, his breath hitting her in the face and intoxicating her. It was wrong, she knew. It was wrong to want to lean forward and lock lips with her ex-boyfriend. Her ex-boyfriend who had a child on the way, while she had a girlfriend and a life of her own. She didn't even know why she wanted to. She was mad at him, really mad at him for being such an asshole. She needed to push him away. It wasn't fair to Clare, or their baby, or Fiona. It was wrong, wrong, wrong.

The situation was so wrong, but the part of Imogen that begged for a change, for fun, for excitement, begged her to lean forward and taste Eli Goldsworthy's lips once again.

And, without overthinking it, she did.

She leaned over and pressed her mouth into his forcefully. He immediately reciprocated the kiss and she recoiled a bit, cringing at the feeling of his warm mouth on her own. She placed her hand awkwardly at her side. They continued the odd kiss like two eighth graders with braces who had never kissed before. It truly was the most awkward smooch she'd ever had in her life.

When they finally pulled away and opened their eyes, they stared at one another in utter shock, floored by what they'd done. She felt so dirty. Eli was having a baby with another woman, and she'd just kissed him. He felt like a jerk, letting his ex-girlfriend kiss him while his girlfriend was miserable.

"Wow." A voice spoke from behind them.

Imogen whipped around and stared at her girlfriend like a dear caught in headlights.

Eli looked up and saw his own girlfriend there, her eyes brimming with heartbroken tears.

None of them spoke, just remained in place, staring at each other like words were an impossible feat.

"I'll get the abortion." Clare said tearfully, grasping at her shirt roughly and shaking her head, "I'll kill the baby. And you can start your new life." Clare ran out of the restaurant and Eli pushed by Imogen to follow her.

Fiona shook her head at the shorter girl and sighed, "I figured your sexual crisis would end in something like this."

Imogen cocked her head at Fiona and narrowed her eyes.

"So, do you feel better now? Do you want a boyfriend or something now? Are you no longer torn before men and women? Tell me, Imogen, did cheating on me with our best friend make you feel liberated?" Fiona asked, surprisingly calmly.

"Why are you so calm?" Imogen breathed, inching back against the booth as Fiona came closer to her.

"Answer the question."

Imogen touched her lips and closed her eyes, remembering the intensity of the kiss with Eli. It was intense because it was different. It made her feel different and exciting.

It didn't make her want a boyfriend.

If anything, the fact that Eli was so ready to write Clare off when he found out she was pregnant made her not want a boyfriend.

"I don't want a boyfriend." Imogen stated blankly.

"Kay… I'll be at home. Will you be there tonight, or do you have some sort of exciting orgy to attend?"

Imogen looked up at Fiona with surprise. "I'll be home."

Fiona nodded and flashed Imogen a sad smile. "See you there." She walked away and Imogen watched her go, her feelings of confusion quickly replaced by… relief? If Fiona saw her kiss Eli, and didn't break-up with her, then Fiona knew that she was having troubles. She could talk about them, and talk through them, and perhaps find some way to feel less… stuck.

Imogen plopped back down in the booth, absolutely hating herself for what had happened, but feeling oddly content with her life, with Fiona, with her restaurant and with her routine.

She was so confused, but she knew one thing.

The thought of a man no longer enticed her, at all.

In fact, her sexual crisis was over.

She was liberated.

Eli and Clare were probably fighting in the parking lot, she thought. She needed to fix this situation, for both of their sakes. No matter what kind of crisis Eli was going through, Imogen knew he would be absolutely miserable if Clare aborted their baby and left him.

She felt like a filthy, home-wrecking whore as she marched out of her restaurant and tried to find the couple. And she seriously couldn't figure out what was going through Fiona's head.

She noticed Eli standing next to Clare's car. She was in the passenger's seat, vomiting into a plastic bag.

"Let me in, Clare, please? I… I don't want you to get an abortion... If I did, I would just let you go without a fight… Listen, it was wrong of me to kiss Imogen. It was terrible. I was freaking out and it just… it just happened and I… Clare, I love you so much." Imogen could hear Eli's voice breaking as he leaned against the car. "I should have never asked you to get an abortion. I was being a coward… Imogen told me that. She told me to suck it up and bring you ice cream. She told me to tell you that you'll be the best mom in the world, which you will… I'm so lucky to have you, and I don't want to lose you. I want to have a family with you, and only you… Clare," Eli got down beside the car, on one knee and took the skull ring off of his hand. "w-will you please m-marry me? I know it seems like bad timing, but this whole thing has made me realize that I'm ready to settle down, with you. I'm ready to do this. Please?"

Imogen saw Clare look at him incredulously before unrolling her window. "Seriously, you're asking me this after you cheated on me?" She deadpanned.

"I kissed him, Clare!" Imogen called out before she could stop himself. "Not the other way around. Hate me if you want, just let him put the damned ring on your finger so you two can be happy…" She took a deep breath and closed her eyes before saying, "If it makes you feel any better, kissing Eli made me realize that I am, in fact," She took in a breath sharply and sighed, "A lesbian. I am a lesbian."

The word made her feel tingly and weird.

Clare looked up at Imogen oddly and let out a dry laugh. "You turned her lesbian… Did she really kiss you?"

Eli nodded. "I should've stopped her… I guess I was just trying to escape from everything that's going on… You haven't talked to me in two weeks. I know it's my fault, but I was just afraid to face you and everything that's happened… Imogen slapped me in the face when I told her what… what I tried to make you do. I'm so glad you didn't go through with it… This baby is a part of you and me... I wasn't realizing that before. I was too caught up in my fear of responsibility… I'm ready now, okay? Just, forgive me and let's start over, please?" He grabbed Clare's hand and shoved the ring on her ring finger. "Marry me so we can do this the old-fashioned way?"

Clare eyed Eli tiredly before rolling her eyes. "Mouthwash when we get home, no sex until after the wedding, a real engagement ring and promise me you'll never kiss another woman again. Ever."

"I won't ever kiss another woman again, not even a lesbian."

Clare smacked him and looked over at Imogen. "I don't hate you. This was just really weird. Let's just try to forget that this ever happened, for the baby's sake."

Imogen nodded and turned around. Fiona stood behind her with a smirk on her lips. "So, Miss. Moreno has finally come to the dark side?"

"I've always been there… I was just in denial."

Fiona nodded. "I know, and that's why I didn't get mad when you kissed Eli. He's like your brother… that was really weird."

Imogen grimaced. "I know. I was just feeling trapped. The same routine everyday was just-"

"Boring?"

"Yeah."

"I agree. That's why I've planned us a trip to the Bahamas." Fiona pulled out two plane tickets from her pocket. "Two weeks away with my girlfriend, away from work and routine, to celebrate her new sexual liberation."

Imogen giggled and snatched one of the tickets out of her hands. "Only if you promise not to bring the cats."

"Fine, only if you promise not to kiss anymore men."

"Deal."

That was definitely the worst, most bizarre, most poorly written thing I've ever come up with.

I'll post it anyway cause YOLO.

Hahahahahahaha

I hate yolo.

Vann