Anatomy of a House

written by lasloneitaliana

House/CSI fanfiction

Genre: Mystery, Suspense, Romance, Comedy

Letter from author: I am so happy to finally get this going. It is a great honor to have everyone reading my stories. Also, I would like to thank InusDarkAngel, my friend since 7th grade, because she helped me formulate some wacky ideas. We brainstormed together. Thank you InusDarkAngel!

-lasloneitaliana

"You know, it's bad enough to deal with your Vicodin habit, stop upping your water consumption. We both know you're doing this to induce frequent bathroom breaks, instead of helping Mr.?"

"Vitar."

"Mr. Vitar, who is so delirious with fever that he is showing a rash that is on his buttocks, to all the single women in this hospital."

It wouldn't take a medical examination to diagnose Dr. Cuddy with hypertension and a skyrocketing blood pressure. Her face was so red it appeared violet and her hands were shaking so bad that she had lost her balance not once, but three times!

Gregory House glanced toward the aggiated man that looked as if he'd spent half of his life waiting to be seen by a doctor.

" So, what's wrong with that? Tatoo, skin irratation is one of the most frequent beginning signs of Hepatitis, probably by an infected needle." he chatted away to a still irritated Cuddy. "I've got one too. If you want, you can be my doctor and we can compare. Mine says, 'I love my Vicodin.' We have tatoos, the unshaven faces, we could start a band!"

Cuddy suddenly ushered the quivering man to a nearby wheelchair and took House by the arm into her office.

House had never seen Cuddy so upset before, and for once in his life, she made him a bit concerned when getting angry.

When he stood by the doorway, she paced back and forth until finally coming to her chair and laying her ever growing tiresome head to her desk. House leaned against the doorframe as the scene of Cuddy placing her head against her desk, became blurry. He shook his head and blinked his eyes.

"House..." she trailed off, sobbing and surrendered a few tears to dampen an employee resignation form.

She leaned up and wiped her eyes, embaressed at her reddened cheeks. Slightly intimidated, House remained silent. She sniffled and recomposed herself just in time to catch a glimpse of sympathy in House's eyes.

"Wha...What did someone do to you? Who messed you up so bad that you have to act this way? Why me, House? What the hell did I do to you? How come everyone has it in for Cuddy?"

"You lost the baby didn't you?" House blurted. Cuddy had now paced over to House's location. "Oh, House..." she said before collapsing in his arms. She sniffled into his shirt and sobbed near his neck. House remained silent.

Suddenly Allison Cameron entered the room. "The EKG came back..." she caught glimpse of Cuddy crying on House's chest. Shocked, and not wanting Cameron to get the wrong idea, House mouthed, "It's not what you think!"

Startled, Cameron apologized and sighed heavily.

"Oh, House, I was going to ask for your sperm, but..." Cuddy trailed. Cameron's eyes rounded and House shook his head 'no.'

Cameron quickly left the room, her cheeks blushing. Pushing Cuddy off of his chest, House comforted Cuddy in the only way House can. "Oh, come on, there's plenty more sperm in the sea." He pointed at a group of Italian-looking men in their fifties to Cuddy. "See. Eligible men. Why don't you go give them some special pills and go with it." And with that, House left the room in hot pursuit of Allison Cameron.

"Take care of him or I will." The words rang in Cuddy's ears so much that she didn't even hear House's rude comment.

She beat her fists in an angry fury on her desk. Just as the porcelin clock on her desk rang noon, her mind had drifted elsewhere. Her eyelids fluttered closed, and all that was horrible and violent, had become momentarily peaceful.