Her hand hits the level interface, making the door behind her close and the elevator rise. She pops her knuckles again in an attempt to get the cramps to stop. Holographic interfaces are nice, but pressing keys without hitting a physical object hurts after a while. No one's found a way to fix this yet? she thinks to herself. The four hours of core maintenance took a toll on all of the engineering crew, but her lack of experience made fatigue set in that much faster. I've gotten spoiled going on missions with Shepard. Killing geth is a nice distraction from such tedious work. At least the Normandy's core is a prototype: the new technology is interesting.
The elevator arrives at its destination and opens for the small Quarian. She tosses the thoughts aside in favor of a well-deserved lunch. Military nutrient paste isn't exactly a delicacy, but it beats her Auntie Raan's cooking back on the Rayya: it's not burnt beyond recognition. She looks over at Kaidan's corner of the upper deck, a little surprised he's not there like usual. Where would he be- oh, yes. Doctor Chakwas. She's trying to help him with his migraines. Some kind of brain therapy to make it accept the biotic amp. I guess I'll be eating lunch on my own. She selects a tubed Quarian MRE from the storage locker and sits back down at the table.
Her hands start to bother her again before she can even break the seal on her lunch. She starts rubbing her fingers and palms, which does some good. Not a lot, but some. I wonder if only having three fingers affects Garrus's work too. Wrex probably doesn't notice, since he only plays with his oversized shotguns. But Garrus works on the wiring of the Mako; that's touchy work for species with five fingers. Shepard is lucky to have smaller, nimbler fingers. It would explain why he's such an amazing shot.
As if her thoughts beckoned it, she hears the commander's voice. Her eyes scan the room before realizing the source isn't there. He's talking or something from his cabin, just loud enough for her to hear in the mess. She turns the volume up on her suit's receivers, trying to figure out what he's saying. It's his voice, but not the way it usually sounds. There's almost something... musical to it.
Her curiosity gets the better of her. She walks around to the wall of Kaidan's corner, afraid that if she tries to listen through the door, its sensor will give her away. His voice audible enough to be heard with her head pressed against the hull, but she has to turn her suit's receivers to the max to understand any words or sounds. "As the days roll on, I see... time is standing still for me when you're not here..." There's a strange melody to his voice; the sentences sound like something he would say, but not quite. And there's some kind of ringing mixing with it. "Sorry I can't always find the words to say... Everything I've ever known gets swept away inside of your love..." He's singing. Shepard is a singer. And a pretty good one, at that. "And everything I have in this world, all that I'll ever be... It could all fall down around me, just as long as I have you right here by me..."
"Tali?"
The voice, no more than a few feet behind her, sends her up and out of her skin. Coming back down is worse when her feet decide to miss the floor entirely. She slams into the ground shoulder first, hard. "Ow!" she yelps.
Garrus rushes to her aid and picks her up. "Sorry. Scare you?"
"A little," she groans. She works her shoulder and wrist a few times to make sure everything's intact. "My audio sensors were louder than usual, and I didn't expect to hear anyone behind me."
"Are you sure you weren't afraid that you got caught spying on Shepard?" he grins mischievously.
"No!" she shouts before rubbing her hands. "Maybe..."
He laughs at her embarrassment. "Relax, I won't tell him. But why were you pressed against the wall like that? You looked like those hoppers we killed yesterday."
"I was, um... listening to Shepard. He was singing."
"What?" he questions with an expression similar to a human's raised eyebrow.
"I couldn't believe it either. Listen for yourself: he was singing to music in there."
"Fine. But I'm walking around to the door. The metal's thinner there."
Garrus walks over to his new destination, the Quarian hot on his tail. With a wave of omni-tool, he kills the door's sensor before it can reveal their positions. Only when they're sure they're safe do they press their ears to the metal door. The music is still going in the cabin, but Shepard's singing is nowhere to be heard. Tali's frustration is apparent by her slightly clenched fist. Of course. Now you won't sing and make me look crazy in front of Garrus. Come on, sing, you bosh'tet!
All sounds from the room stop, heeding to the footsteps of the commander. The two dextros sprint to back to Kaidan's usual corner and try to look natural before they can get caught eavesdropping.
Shepard enters the mess a second later. "Hey, Tali. Garrus," he smiles at his crew mates.
Tali, still slightly paralyzed by fear, watches him with fascination. Shepard looks like an Alliance recruitment poster at first glance: maybe an inch taller than her, with a build not much thicker but hiding more wiry strength. He has a short black flattop, matching goatee across his chin and upper lip, weathered complexion, and a scar running slant through his eye and nose. His face, especially when he's angry, is enough to scare most organics and synthetics into surrender. But at the same time, his eyes can tell a different story. His irises are a light gray-blue, and they have this... soft spark in them. almost like a light shining through water. She's seen it a handful of times, when he sits with her and talks. It shows a rare kindness and morals that make him so... him. The combination paints a unique picture, one that she's mildly obsessed with. There's no one quite like him. He's nice to everyone, even to me. No one treats me like that, even other Quarians He's special... Oh, Keelah: PLEASE don't let him find out I was spying on him!
"Hey, uh... Commander," Garrus half-stutters.
Shepard waves a hand at him. "Garrus, drop the 'Commander' crap off-duty. Call me Aaron, or at least Shepard. You're not Alliance. Same goes for you, Tali."
"I've got it, Com-, uh... Shepard," she says, wringing her hands again.
"Step in the right direction," Aaron acknowledges. He steps over to his locker, grabbing a small green and yellow apple from within. "What are you two up to?"
Garrus recovers his composure, finally. "Taking a lunch break. It's hard work, repairing the Mako after the paces you put her through yesterday."
"It was your idea to run over those creeper things, if memory serves," Shepard jokes, sinking his teeth into the fruit. "Besides, we got out fine."
"Only because Tali here managed to repair the hull breaches as fast as you were causing them."
"I'll give you that one." He swallows a bite and points to the Quarian. "You're a hell of an engineer, Tali. I'm glad we ran into you."
"Th-th-thank you, C-C-Commander, I-I mean, Aaron." She pinches one of her fingers tightly to regain some semblance of control. Damn it! Keep it together!
The human shakes his head with a smile on his face. "It's alright. Relax. What's got so you wound up?"
Think of something clever, think of something clever. "I think I'm tired. I've been running maintenance on the engine all morning." That's clever?!
"Ok, understandable. Just make sure you don't hurt yourself down there." He didn't catch on. So I'm tired: just act like that's the problem.
"Hey, where's my safety warning? I'm the one dealing with a tank," Garrus protests, his voice drowning in sarcasm.
"Sorry, you're not cute enough for that. Tali is."
Goosebumps form on her hidden skin, and all of her oxygen flees her lungs in a heartbeat. Did he just call me cute? Is he serious? He thinks I'm cute?
"Sexist bastard." Garrus' voice shakes her from the moment of panic.
"Any time, Vakarian," Aaron teases back.
After a few moments, she finally gets herself under control. "Uh... Aaron? What were you doing just before you came out of your cabin? I-I'm just curious," she says with only a slight stutter.
He shrugs. "Nothing much. Getting a little bit of R&R. Any particular reason?"
Words fail her when she tries to think of a decent excuse. Garrus takes care of it. "When we got up here, we heard something. It was coming out of your cabin, best we could figure."
"Ah." Aaron finishes his apple before pitching it into a waste can. "I'm surprised you guys could hear that. The walls are decent sound dampeners."
"Tali heard it first, actually. I didn't notice until she pointed it out."
"Wow. I thought I had good hearing."
"I, uh- I usually have my audio sensors for my suit on very low, so I can turn it up if needed." There's only a little bit of an embarrassment in her voice this time, much to her relief.
The human nods. "Nice. When I get a few hours to myself, I like to take my guitar out and play for a little while. Just something to help me relax."
"What's a guitar?" the dextros ask in harmony.
"Hang on," he says while heading back to his cabin.
Shepard appears a few heartbeats later, holding a strangely shaped piece of wood with six metal strands running the length of it. He holds it slightly in front of him for the other two to see. "Guitar."
Tali timidly grasps it by the long, thin middle. She tinkers with the nobs on the far end, hoping to unveil its secrets. How does this make music? There's no switches or buttons to press. The handles on the end only make these strings tighter. Unless you have to hit it, maybe...
"You strum on the strings to get sound," Aaron says, reading her thoughts. "You move your fingers on the strings to adjust to pitch. The nobs at the end help tune it."
She hands the instrument off to Garrus, who gives a it short inspection with his fingers. "Explains why I've never seen one of these. There's not a whole lot of species who could use this."
Shepard nods. "Yeah, the three-fingered thing is a bit of a problem for you guys. You might could learn to play bass, though: only four strings."
"Would you mind demonstrating for us?" Tali asks. Ok, there was no stutter that time. Let's keep it that way.
"Sure. I've got a few hours to kill anyway. Let me see it."
Garrus releases the guitar into Shepard's grip. He sits on the edge of the handrail, lays it across his lap, and produces a small, dark plastic disk from his pocket. The strings face the two dextros while he runs the disk across them. He touches at each string, toys with the nobs, and repeats. "You guys tinkering with it threw it a little out of tune. Give me a second."
"Sorry," Tali immediately apologizes. "I was trying to figure out how it worked."
"It's alright; just takes me a second to get it back again. No harm done." After a few more plucks, he appears satisfied. "Don't suppose there's any requests in the audience, is there?"
"Whatever that was a minute ago, please?" she asks.
He nods. "Coming right up."
Aaron taps his foot to the ground, beating a slow rhythm. He closes his eyes and starts working his fingers on the metal strings. The little disk picks again at the center of the base, giving off the first high note before a flurry of others. His left hand starts to move up and down the neck, fingers covering the strings in different places in sync with the disk's plucks. A melody of a dozen notes appears in the air while Shepard continues bouncing his foot. "I hope you're doing fine out there without me... Cause I'm not doing so good without you..." he sings quietly. His voice, with a slightly dark, enchanting quality, is barely audible over the notes of the guitar. "The things I thought you'd never know about me... were the things I guess you always understood... So how could I have been so blind for all these years? I guess I only see the truth through all this fear of living without you..."
She watches his fingers, marveled as they dance across the strings. Wow. I couldn't come close to doing any of that. My hands would fail at even the simplest notes. And his singing... Wow...
"Everything I have in this world, and all that I'll ever be... It could all fall down around me... Just as long as I have you right here by me..."
He keeps on playing, never opening his eyes or showing awareness of the outside world. He seems... engrossed in the song, focused on something hidden in the lyrics and notes. Enough so that it starts to worry her. Is he singing this song thinking of someone? Someone special to him, someone he loves? No, no: he would've told us about her. Surely he would've at least mentioned her by now. But still...
As her mind runs through worst-case scenarios, the song finally comes to an end. Aaron smiles to himself, setting the guitar on the ground and opening his eyes. "What do you think?" he shrugs with a mildly nervous smile.
"I'm... impressed," Garrus chimes in. "Maybe there is something to having those extra fingers."
Aaron chuckles, holding his hands in the air and wiggling his fingers. "Gotta play the hand your dealt. No pun intended. What about you, Tali?"
Don't ask about someone else. Don't ask about someone else. Don't ask about someone else... "That was great. You sing really well, Shepard."
"I had a good teacher. Believe me: I sounded like a dying animal when I started."
"Where did you learn how to do that? The guitar and the singing," she asks.
"It was my dad, actually. He was a music teacher back on Mindior for my high school and the community bands."
"Humanity's best soldier came from a musician?" Garrus laughs.
"Hey, it happens. My parents were both farmers, but that duty fell mostly on my mom. Dad taught me how to sing and a few instruments. Believe me: nothing is quite as awkward as your dad being your marching band instructor. He didn't let me get away with anything."
"You had to march and play that at the same time?" Tali asks with a raised eyebrow that hides behind her visor.
"Marching horn, actually." He opens his omni-tool and shows a picture of a strangely shaped piece of brass metal. It's been coiled into a circle, with a hole at each end and several buttons in the middle. "I played regular horn in concert band, where we just sat and played. I wasn't bad: I was section leader for my sophomore and junior years. The batartians hit before my senior year, so I didn't get the chance."
"I-I'm sorry." She starts wringing her hands again, losing herself in the nervous habit. "For what happened and-an-and for bringing it up again. I-I wasn't trying to make you think of a bad memory."
He sets a hand on her shoulder. "It's alright, Tali. It's something long buried for me. It doesn't bother me anymore."
She lowers her hands back down to her sides. "Ok. Still, I'm sorry." Why did I have to bring that up?!
"Thanks. Anyway, Dad made sure I worked for all of that: none of it was easy gimme's. But I picked up the guitar just because I was bored one summer and found it in the attic. He taught me all the basics and some singing in hopes I'd get a girlfriend out of it. Although, that's kinda hard to do when you only know human rock songs from around 2000."
Garrus shakes his head. "I'm glad I'm not the only one who's father tried to set up on dates."
"My dad set me up with four different girls in the band. He said, and I quote, 'No son of mine is going to be the lonely kid who hides from girls.'"
"When C-Sec got a new chief, my father set me up with his daughter so he could get an impression on the man. He told me this right to my face ten seconds before he introduced us."
Aaron laughs and pats his leg. "That's a new one. I think our dads were both a little nuts. At least they were honest."
"Fair enough."
Tali waits until the guys stop chuckling before she tries to reenter the conversation. "Can I ask a question, Shepard?"
He shrugs. "Sure. What?"
"When you were singing,... were you thinking of something or-or someone? I-it kind of looked like you were; that's why I'm curious." Damn it, what happened to being subtle!?
He shrugs. "Kind of, but not quite. When I play or sing a song, I close my eyes and think of something that fits it. Something romantic for songs like that, something badass for rock songs, etc. But no, I wasn't thinking of someone in particular when I sang that. And I'm not in any kind of relationship at the moment, if that's what you're asking."
Her heart freezes in her chest. "Wa-was I-I that o-obvious?"
"Only a little. I get it: you're trying to figure me out. You're curious about me. I don't mind. At least you didn't look up my service record like Liara did."
Why didn't I think of that? "I'm sorry, and I wouldn't. You're different from everyone else I've met, and I was trying to learn more about you."
"It's alright. Just ask me next time, though. Deal?"
The expression is lost on her for a moment. "Deal? What- oh. Yes, deal. I'll ask next time." At least he didn't figure out the real reason.
"Sorry; forgot you don't get all of the human analogies for a second," he apologizes. "If you ever have any questions or just want to talk, feel free to come over to my cabin. As long as you knock, you're more than welcome. Just for future reference."
Did he really say I was welcome in his cabin? Keelah, YES! "I'll k-keep t-that in mind, Shepard. Thank you f-for the offer."
"That better apply to me, too," Garrus smirks.
"I can make room for you too, Vakarian," Shepard smiles. "But the moment you come in just to make fun of me, I'm booting your ass out."
Tali's stomach growls, reminding her of her initial reasons for coming up. Garrus and Shepard have started a whole new conversation amongst themselves, so she slips out of the corner and back to her lunch. She sits down at the table and quietly wrings her hands while her mind processes everything. Ok... Shepard said that he's not involved with anyone, I'm cute, and I'm welcome in his cabin any time... No, no, no. Don't get ahead of yourself. He's just being nice. We're friends. Granted, he is a very good friend. And he is kind of cute... Maybe if I just told him... No. Let's... let's just stay like this. It's not like I have any chance against Ashley or Liara...
"Hey Tali," a voice calls to her, breaking the trance.
She turns around to see Shepard looking over. "Yes?"
"You mind if we join you? I could stand for some lunch, and you look kinda lonely over there."
Under the purple mask, she smiles from ear to ear. "Sure. But I get to pick what we talk about."
He smiles back. "I can live with that."
After being aboard the Normandy SR2 for less than three hours, her first annoyance becomes how long it takes the damn elevator to come down to engineering. Keelah. They rebuild the ship and upgrade the shields, armor, fuel capacity, weapons systems, even the mess hall. But no one thought to build more than one elevator. Or a faster one. At least a set of stairs! Who's genius idea was that? It finally opens to her silent gripes, free passage for her to the crew deck.
She shakes her head, trying to adjust to the hours of the human ship. Haestrom's hours in a day were similar, but she was in a completely different time zone. What's eight in the morning for her is two-thirty in the afternoon for everyone else. Hopefully a meal will help convince my body that the ship clock is correct.
The elevator beeps as it hisses open. Immediately, a familiar sound strikes her ears: a plastic pick on the nickel strings of a wooden instrument. A flurry of notes are in the air, their pitches controlled by an unseen set of hands. She smiles, remembering the music Shepard always played from his cabin. It was a bit of a daily ritual for her on the old Normandy. When Kaidan was meeting with Doctor Chakwas to try to get his migraines under control, she would sit in his corner, lay her head against the wall, and listen to Shepard's wonderful singing. Most people would've probably considered it spying or stalking. I wasn't spying on him; I was... enjoying his music. From the mess hall... Without him knowing...
"Here is my chance..." a hidden voice sings. She recognizes its owner immediately, but her mind refuses to accept the conclusion. Her feet carry her at full-sprint around the corner to settle the mystery once and for all. But sure enough, the sight of the mess hall is impossible to discredit. Shepard's sitting on the edge of the table, guitar in hand, eyes closed, and smile broad. "This is my chance!" he sings with renewed energy.
He stops for just a moment when the mess sergeant slams two wooden spoons on a few pans stacked on the counter. The rhythm of the song's kept in a strange combination of clangs and bangs, each one a different pitch and volume. Shepard strikes down hard on his guitar, joining in right back on the beat. "Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can... To make them realize this is my life. I hope they understand... I'm not angry, I'm just saying... Sometimes goodbye's a second chance."
The final note hangs in the air for a few heartbeats. Tali, unsure how to react, stays frozen on the far side of the table. The sergeant is the notice the Quarian intruder. "Howdy, Miss Zorah," he calls with a genuine grin.
Shepard turns his head, finally seeing her. "Hey, Tali. Didn't expect to see you up here so soon."
She shakes her head to boot the feeling deja vu. "I was coming up for lunch. I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"
"Nah, just a 'men-doing-stupid-shit' break," Aaron chuckles. His hand pats the spot on the table beside him. "Come on over."
Controlling the hand-washing urge in the back of her head, she walks to him and takes her seat. He surprises her by giving a one-armed hug across her shoulders. "I've missed you. It's good to have you back."
She looks at him with slight confusion. What was that? He hugged Garrus before, but never me. Is there something I'm missing? "It-It's good to be back. Wh-what were you two doing exactly?"
He shrugs nonchalantly. "Trying to relax a little bit in about the only way I know how. Grubner over there is pretty good at keeping a beat, so I let him give me a hand."
"Gardner, sir," the cook corrects.
The comment seems to catch Shepard off-guard. "Gardner? Shit... I feel stupid now," he chuckles.
"You thought his name was Grubner?" she questions.
"I'm not great with names."
"So what did you think my name was the first time we met?"
"Tali. You've only got four letters. It's kinda hard to mess that one up," he teases.
She laughs and shakes her head. "I suppose."
"Besides, I'm not going to forget the name of one of my best friends."
That last bit surprises her. I'm one of his best friends? "That-that means a lot, Aaron. I-I'm glad you feel the same. The be-best friend aspect, not the name."
He just smiles in return.
Her eyes drift over his face, examining every inch of it. He almost looks like nothing ever happened, not even the passage of two years. He's still an inch taller than her, still built slightly thinner than you'd expect for a soldier. His haircut's the same, the beard hasn't changed at all, his complexion is still intimidating. The spark in his eyes even remains, shining just like it did two years ago. It's like he never died. She had trouble accepting that it was truly him back Freedom's Progress, and even when he called her on Haestrom. It wasn't that she didn't believe it was him: her mind didn't want to accept it. After coming to terms with the fact that someone's gone and never coming back, finding them walking back into your life is... difficult to accept. But Haestrom wiped every doubt from her mind, and their talk down in Engineering was icing on the cake. No one has ever treated her like he does. Like an equal... a friend. It's definitely Commander Aaron Shepard, back from the dead. The only thing that's really different about him is the lack of scar across his face.
"What's it like, your... rebuilt body?" she asks.
He sets the guitar down on his opposite side. "It's not too bad. There's a few things little things I kinda miss."
"I thought they rebuilt everything the way you were?"
"For the most part, they did. But there are certain things that they couldn't recreate. Well, that, and the coup on the station cut my rebuild time."
"So what's missing?"
"The scars, for starters," he chuckles, rubbing a finger across his face. "Maybe 'missing' is the wrong word for it. I... I think I just got so used to it there, it doesn't feel right for it to be gone. All of them are gone, even the little ones across my chest and legs from when I was little. But the worst one is the one that was across my eye and nose."
"I think you look good without it." Her brain catches the words about a quarter of a second after they leave her mouth. He just said he misses them, and you tell him he's better off without them. Stupid bosh'tet!
"Really?" he smiles. "I didn't think you noticed."
"I-I didn't. I mean, I saw, but I didn't think about it. Th-that doesn't mean I didn't mean it. I-t..." Her hands start scrubbing themselves again as she stutters without control.
He grabs her side and pulls her in for another one-armed hug, laughing the entire time. "Will you relax? I'm just messing with you."
Keelah, it was a joke! Calm down, calm down. He's not being mean, and he didn't catch on. Calm down... Her stuttering finally stops, and soon after, her hands lower back down into her lap. "Oh... Sorry, I-I guess I forgot some of your human jokes."
He pats her back one last time before letting go. "It's alright. Sorry for picking on you."
"You should probably work a little on your sarcasm, Commander," Gardner chimes in from his kitchen. "We don't all pick up on it."
"Everyone else gets it just fine. It was just a momentary confusion," Shepard replies.
Tali shakes her head. "It was my fault. I panicked and thought that I had insulted you or something."
"You didn't. I'll let you know if you say something that's off." He picks up his guitar and starts picking at it again, seemingly experimenting on the small wood and metal wonder.
"That's not the same one you had on the original Normandy, is it?" she asks, a little confused.
He shakes his head. "I wish. No, the other one is in just as many pieces as the SSV. I picked this one up on Omega. Some vorcha thought it was a weird piece of wood and sold it to me for ten credits. Don't think he realized he could've sold it to most humans for a hundred easy."
She whistles. "Wow. You got a good deal on it."
"That I did. It's an old, beat-up P.O.S., but it works. I'm kinda having to relearn how to play, though. Some of my joints didn't heal quite right, so they're stiff. None of my calluses made it back either."
"What do you mean 'calluses?'"
He holds his hand in front of her, palm up for her inspection. The tips of his fingers are a dark red, and some of them look ready to blister. "Ow," she mutters.
"Little bit." He returns to picking on the strings. "The strings vibrating under the fingers cause humans to get blisters. Get enough blisters in the same spot, and our skin will harden so that we quit getting them. The hard spots, calluses, are a lot less sensitive to pain. We can still feel with them, but not quite so much. Don't know if Quarians have the same thing. Regardless, mine didn't come back, so I have to retrain my fingers, so to speak."
"You're still really good. Both singing and playing."
He smiles. "Good to hear. At least it gives me something to do. I'm assuming you came up here for lunch?"
"Yes, though I forgot about it when I heard you. I'll grab something."
"Not on my watch," Gardner semi-shouts. "You tell me what you like, and I'll whip it up."
She nods. "Ok. Can you just find a tube of nutrient paste for me? I don't feel like fumbling with my helmet right now."
"Coming right up."
As the mess sergeant searches for her meal, she listens to the pickings on the guitar. I missed that sound. There's something comforting about it, like the silence of the Normandy. Or maybe it's because it means Aaron's back. It's always been a competition to see which caused more comfort. Either way, it's nice. I wonder... "Would you mind playing another song, Aaron?"
He shrugs "Sure. I don't suppose you know any human songs I can play."
"You can play whatever you want to. I just want to hear you sing again."
"Did somebody miss me over the last two years?" His sarcasm is almost thick enough to be pulled out of the air.
She decides to get him back. "Well, it's not very often I get offered live music."
He laughs a little. "Fair enough. Alright, let me think... I've got one. Gardner? You mind giving me a beat?"
"Give me one to keep," the cook replies. Gardner retrieves his set of wooden spoons again, holding them high in the air on display. The Commander mutters to himself for a second, then lets out a series of "duh"and "dat" sounds like another language. Gardner immediately starts clanking on his pots again in a loud, constant rhythm.
Aaron bobs his head and strums to the beat. The symphony that's created has an energy to it, one that she can't help but swaying to. His eyes drift over to her for a brief second before they retreat and he starts to sing. "If you only knew I'm hanging by a thread, the web I spin for you..." He still has that enchantingly dark voice, making the song all the better. "If you only knew I'd sacrifice my beating heart before I lose... you. I still hold on to the letters you've returned. I swear I've lived and learned."
He lifts his head up a little, looking ahead instead of at his fingers. "It's four-oh-three, and I can't sleep. Without you next to me, I toss and turn like the sea. If I drown tonight, bring me back to life. Breathe your breath in me, the only thing I still believe in is you. If you only knew..."
It's around then that she realizes that he's singing with his eyes open. That's odd... He always sings with his eyes closed. He focuses on what he's singing about, helping him sing that much better. Why wouldn't he do that now?
He steals another glance at her, smiling while he keeps strumming. It only lasts a heartbeat before his eyes dart away. "If you only knew how many times I've counted all the words that went wrong... If you only knew how I refuse to let you go even when you're gone... I don't regret any days I spent, nights we've shared, or letters that I've sent... It's four-oh-three, and I can't sleep. Without you next to me, I toss and turn like the sea. If I drown tonight, bring me back to life. Breathe your breath in me, the only thing that I still believe in is you. If you only knew... if you only knew..."
Every time he sings, he closes his eyes and envisions what he's singing about... So, if his eyes are open... and he's looking at me... Every muscle tenses up at the connection her mind makes. Keelah...
Another smile comes across his face as he goes through the guitar solo. For the entire minute, she can't move, or hardly even think. Each time he looks over at her, her heart freezes into place. She's enjoying every second of it, but she can't get the revelation out of her head.
The breaks finally comes to an end, making Shepard come back in and sing. "I still hold on to the letters you've returned. You've helped me live and learn. It's four-oh-three and I can't sleep. Without you next to me, I toss and turn like the sea. If I drown tonight, bring me back to life. Breathe your breath in me, the only thing that I still believe in is you... If you only knew..."
It takes a few seconds for him to finish the song, with that same smile across his face. She slowly relaxes from the terror in her stomach. Maybe... maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if I told him. The song applies to me too. I want him to know how much I care about him, but... I'll tell him. Not now, but I will. I'll just... wait for the right time. It will come soon, right? It has to.
"So what do you think?" Aaron asks, snapping her out of her trance.
"I liked it," she smiles under her mask. "You're still really good."
"I try."
"What, are you forgetting the drums?" Gardner shouts from his kit.
"We'll see if we can't get you a real instrument, Rupert. Then we'll try to get you some recognition," Aaron laughs.
He sets the guitar down to the side and lays back across the table. His eyes close with a relieved sigh, the slight smile still on his face. "Finally..." he mutters.
"Hmm?"
"'Hmm?' what?"
"Why did you say 'finally?'" she asks.
He shrugs his shoulders. "It's just nice to finally relax a little. It's been a long month and a half."
"It's been that bad?"
His following sigh isn't one of relief. "After dying of suffocation, I woke up in a station being attacked by an army of pissed off mechs. Since then, I've had to deal with the three biggest mercenary companies in the Terminus, a Collector abduction, and a geth ambush, all while working with a terrorist organization that I hate. Only four people on board are people I actually trust, and the rest are a bunch of mercs, convicts, or thieves. Oh, and let's not forget Liara telling me that revenge means more to her than friends and Ash calling me a lying, traitorous sack of shit. I mean, I'm glad I'm alive again, but... this has been a very hellish second chance. Finding you and Garrus again have been the highlights."
She sets her hand on his arm. Her thumb runs across his skin in a blind attempt at comforting him. "I'm sorry, Aaron... I-I never thought about it like that."
"It's alright," he says, gently grabbing her hand. "I'm glad I've got you back."
After a few seconds of quiet, he sits straight up with open eyes and renewed purpose. "You know what? To hell with it."
"What?"
"We're not going to reach Jack's old cell until tomorrow morning. I'm not going to dwell on how bad this crap's been since I got back. I think I've earned a few hours to do what I want."
"So... what are you going to do?"
"I've got no idea whatsoe-"
His abrupt stop catches her off-guard. So does the next question out of his mouth. "Are you doing anything for the rest of the day?"
"I was planning on running diagnostics on the new engine core, but it can wait. Why?"
He smiles at her. "Would you mind putting that off until tomorrow? I was wondering if we could hang out. You know, give you a tour of the ship, eat lunch and/or dinner, sit around and catch up? Anything you feel like."
Her smile, hidden to the rest of the world, explodes across her entire face. "I'd love to. I-I should probably tell the other engineers that I won't be coming back down for a while, an-and I need to stop the handful of system diagnostics I left running."
He nods his head back towards the elevator. "Go ahead. I'll wait here."
"I'll be right back!" she shouts, already sprinting to the elevator. Yes, yes, yes! I get a whole day to be with him! My chance to tell him will come! I know it! YES!
I shake my head, laughing under my breath at her enthusiasm. Hoping she would say yes is one thing; getting her to take off at FTL speeds to get ready is quite another. Ah, well. I get a day to hang out with one of my best friends. No use in complaining.
"So I've got a question, Commander," Rupert says while moving all his pots back to their appropriate cabinets.
"Fire away, mess sergeant."
"Who were you singing that song for: you or her?"
"I'm not in love with my self, if that's what you're thinking," I laugh.
"You know that's not what I meant." He crosses his arms and leans against the fridge. "Were you thinking of your feelings about her, or her feelings about you?"
"We're just friends, Rupert. Good friends, but not a lot more."
"For a bunch of really intelligent people, you and her are both stupid."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
He shakes his head with disappointment. "You're both crazy for each other. It's as plain as day to anyone with eyes or ears. The only people on the ship who don't think so are you two."
"You're starting to sound like Kelly. She's already ranting at me for me to ask her out." I close my eyes and prepare for the incoming lecture.
"And you should, damn it! That girl just took off like a bat out of hell because you said you were going to spend the day with her! In the three hours she's been here, you've smiled more than in the last month! You were whistling before she walked in! I've seen school kids less blind to crushes than you two are!"
Well... it would be nice. Not really sure how a relationship between us would work, but... it's not the worst possibility. There's people I've known for years that I don't get along with nearly as well as I do with her. She's smart, funny, kinda cute... hell, a lot more than kinda. But, still... would she really go for that? "I don't know. I'll think about it, Rupert. Until then, things are just fine as they are."
"Whatever you say," he shrugs. "I've got a feeling about you two. I'd bet money on it."
"We'll see."
Songs in the order they appeared:
"Here By Me" by 3 Doors Down from Seventeen Days album
"Second Chance" by Shinedown from Sound of Madness album
"If You Only Knew" by Shinedown from Sound of Madness album