Once upon a time, there was an old house on a hill. In that house, lived the sadistic, once famous man Chris McLean and his Chef, Chef Hatchet.
One day, on a trip to the grocery store, Chris saw the most beautiful girl. He walked up to the girl and asked her name. Anne Maria. Then, her boyfriend, some guy named Vito came up and Chris was heartbroken. Chris vowed that he would find someone perfect that would make Anne Maria dump that bastard, Vito.
He went up to Chef and asked if he had any suggestions. Chef said he had one... And started kissing Chris. Chef's a good kisser, Chris thought. He enjoyed the kiss. Chef then decided to prove his worth by taking Chris out to a fancy restaurant. When they got there, they got a table... And then some green guy with almost no hair came in and started attacking Chris! Chris screamed like a girl, and this handsome guy in a green shirt fainted.
When he came to, Chris was in a car with eight other people. They all looked really worried. The car stopped, and two young men and a woman started grabbing people. One all three were adorned in clothing with the number nine on it. Chris assumed that they were a gang. He screamed, as a tall wiry boy with glasses grabbed him and ran.
The boy kept telling him about what the word running was pronounced like in different languages. He plopped Chris in an ice cream truck. The boy took the wheel while a girl came in the back and babbled facts about her ancestors. Chris was going crazy. And that's when he saw her.
Good? Bad? Tell me what you think.