Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!
A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.
And here we go with some more bullshit. This should be fun. Anyway, lets see where this goes. Enjoy!
Chapter 1
You know, I often wonder if maybe I pissed someone off last time through. Then I look at my friends and realize that no, I most definitely didn't. Sorry, I'm getting WAY ahead of myself. Lets back up a bit and start from the beginning. It all started after I died from having a shelf full of Harry Potter merchandise fall on me. Not the most grandiose of deaths, although it does make me think that maybe Death has a sense of humor considering where I woke up. Anyway, after I ied from blunt force trauma, I woke up again in the body of a baby. Not what I was expecting. But lets roll with it. What I can't roll with is the fact that someone upstairs seems to be having a laugh at my expense. What makes me say that? Well, my Father can turn into a stag, my mother is known for a fiery temper and green eyes and my Godfather is literally a mutt. I am fucking screwed! Still, at least there was one good thing about all this...sort of. I can finally find out what it was that Lily used to protect Harry...me. This is confusing…
Or maybe not. Let me tell you, baby senses or NOT very good and even if they were, theres no way I'd be able to focus with all the shaking from Mum rushing upstairs with me making me dizzy, a ton of flashing lights and more. The only impressions I could get was that Mum pulling something about the size of her arm out from under my crib and somehow shoving it into my chest while muttering something to herself. Let me tell you, it was a very strange feeling, as if something was being shoved into my Soul.
"Remember Harry, Mama loves you, dada loves you," said Lily once the thing had fully vanished inside me, "Always remember, we're proud of you!"
A loud crash from the door made her glance over her shoulder.
"I'm out of time," she muttered, "Alright, I hope this works…"
She placed a palm on my chest.
"Activate."
There was a flash of light and I felt something burning its way up my spine, making me cry out. Despite that, Lily let out a sigh of relief.
"Thank god, it worked," she said, "Now, all I have to do is…"
The door burst open and everything went to hell. Like I said before, baby senses aren't the best, so I'm not sure what actually happened beyond the basics. Riddle ordered Mum to step aside, she refused and was cut down. Riddle then went off on how he would be the only one to live forever and shot an AK at my head. The light touched me and, for a brief moment, I felt the concept of Death being being forced upon me, shutting down my bodys biological functions in an instant. Then, a searing warmth erupted from my stomach and a burst of golden light shot out, completely healing my body and turning the concept of Death back on its originator in a blast of golden energy that vaporized Riddles body and blasted a hole in the house. I saw the black smoke that was Riddles Soul flee, screaming its head off and leaving behind a fragment that shot towards me.
"OH HELL NO!" I roared in my head and mentally reached out to grab the rapidly fading power that had protected me.
I quickly forced the last remaining bits of energy into a shield that the chunk of Soul splattered against like a bug on a windscreen, reducing it to existential dust and black ectoplasm. I didn't have chance to feel proud of myself though because the effort required to force the remnants of whatever it was Mum had used to defend me was immense and I passed out with blood leaking from my nose. That could not be healthy. Neither could waking up to a horse woman's ear piercing scream.
You know, I don't know if its because of the extra life knocking around in my skull or whatever Mum did to me, but I'm apparently very good at Wandless Magic. Or at least controlling my Accidental Magic. And that was a very good thing considering how the Dursleys treated me. Or rather, tried to treat me. See, this was apparently a world where the Dursleys decided that it was a good idea to try and literally beat the Magic out of me. When I was 5, Petunia set me to work on jobs that no reasonable person would ever expect a young child to do. Now, heres the thing. I didn't actually mind doing them since it gave me something to do that wasn't humiliating to my adult mindset and I could surreptitiously use Magic to help me along. What I did mind was when Vernon and Dudley decided it was a good idea to try beating me. That was when I started really playing with what I could do with my Magic without a wand.
In my last life, I had been pretty into martial arts, leading me to learn a good number of them over my life and those skills hadn't been lost. True, I didn't have the muscle memory or strength built up thanks to my new body, but I still knew the stances and quickly figured out how to use Magic to augment my strength. Thanks to that, I was able to toss my Uncle across the room when he came home drunk and tried to lash me for supposedly causing his deal to fail. Needless to say, that scared the crap out of the elder Dursleys (I mean, I had just thrown a man who was more than a little porky clean across a room with no problem and, despite what you might think, a good portion of that bulk was muscle. Vernon used to play Rugby and he hadn't quite lost the muscle that required). I think they assumed that what I'd done was accidental magic, but even so, I found myself being moved from the cupboard to the spare room and they started being far more wary around me.
Of course, Dudley was still a pain in the rear. At school, the fat git did his thing by being a thick headed bully who spread nasty rumors about me that did absolutely nothing. See, while Dudley was a cruel, small minded little boy, I played the part of a kind, if quiet, little boy who was more than happy to help out. It worked to turn the schools perception of me on its head, even after Vernon tried to convince everyone that I as the troublemaker. The fact I didn't exactly hide my intelligence (augmented by the addition of a high school and university education from last time through) meant that the teachers were raving about me and I managed to make friends with most of my class. The end result? Dudley was known as an idiot and ended up getting expelled, along with his gang, for trying to beat up the daughter of a wealthy landowner who lived in the area. I say trying because the girl quickly proved that she was NOT to be messed with when she systematically took all four boys apart with an extremely efficient martial arts style that looked like something you'd see in a pro wrestling match.
But the pièce de résistance of Dudleys fall from grace was when, after being forced to attend multiple sessions with multiple child therapists, Dudley received multiple recommendations to attend Saint Brutus's School for Incurably Criminal Boys. And I didn't even have to do anything to achieve it! I laughed about that, and the Dursleys reaction to the whole thing afterwards as said reaction certainly didn't help Dudleys case when Petunia tried to say that I should be the one to go to that school, not her 'Precious Dinky Diddykins' and Vernon decided it would be a good idea to threaten violence towards the psychiatrists and the bloke who pushed for Dudley to be examined by psychiatrists in the first place, the father of the girl he and his gang had tried to assault. It...didn't go well and now Vernon was landed with a suspended jail sentence, court ordered anger management sessions and a broken arm from where the man had countered Vernon's attempted attack by shattering his elbow.
Yes, I was having a lot of fun watching the Dursleys life fall apart without any input from me. A good thing to because it made the years up to my 11th birthday fly by and before I knew it, I was finding my Hogwarts letter on the mat.
"Hmm, finally," I muttered as I slipped upstairs before the Dursleys could see the letter, "Now, what should I do now...I wonder if Petunia would be willing to get rid of me for the rest of the summer?"
With that idea in mind, I waited for Vernon to leave for work and Dudley to head off with his friends to add yet more crimes to his rap sheet before I approached Petunia with my letter. She was sat in the sitting room with a cup of tea and a sneer as I entered.
"What do you want?" she growled.
I held up my letter. Immediately, she went the colour of off milk.
"Ah, good, you know about this," I said, "Now, I don't like being here and you don't like me here, so how about we make a deal. You tell me where to go and I'll bugger off for the rest of the summer."
I watched as a number of different expressions crossed Petunia's face, before it landed on an expression of resigned acceptance.
"Fine," she growled, "Theres a pub on Charing Cross Road that normal people can't see. Thats the entrance to that world. If you ask someone inside, I'm sure they can help you more."
She stood and grabbed her purse, shoving a handful of notes into my hands.
"That should be enough to get you there and I'm sure your freakish parents left you something. Now get out and don't come back."
She sat back down and ignored me as I scampered out of the house and down the street.
One bus ride later and I had found the Leaky Cauldron. It was...pretty much exactly what I was expecting to be honest, a grimy, gloomy place that was sparsely populated with a few patrons at this time of the day, none of whom gave me a second look.
"Can I help you lad?" asked Tom the barman as I approached said bar.
"Um, yes, I was hoping you could help me…" I said.
Tom smiled, showing his lack of teeth and forcing me to hide a grimace.
"Ah, Muggleborn, right?" he asked, "Alright, come along."
He led me out the back and showed me how to open the gate to the Alley.
"Um, would it be possible for me to rent a room for the rest of the summer?" I asked, "Its just, my family…"
"I understand," said Tom, "My own family didn't understand when I received my Hogwarts letter, so I tend to give kids like you a good rate. Go and see the Goblins at Gringotts for some money then come back and we'll get you a room. You can use an owl at the post office to send your reply to the letter for free."
I blinked. I honestly hadn't been expecting that, but I guess its one of those things you never really think of.
"Thanks," I said.
"Not a problem son," said Tom, "Oh, but I'll need a name for the books."
I hid another grimace.
"Harry Potter," I said and stepped through the portal before Tom could react.
However, whatever bad mood I could have had was quickly washed away as I walked down Diagon Alley and my Harry Potter fanboy nature came out full force. It really was something else to walk down the actual Diagon Alley and take in all the magic that this place practically dripped in. I couldn't wait to have a proper look around some of the shops and see what I could find! By the time I reached Gringotts, I had a massive grin on my face and practically skipped up the steps, much to the amusement of the guards. Once inside, the bank took my breath away. I didn't even mind the five minute wait there was so much to see.
Once the family in front of me was done, I stepped up to the window and waited for the Goblin to finish writing in his ledger.
"Hmm, patient, for a human," he sneered as he looked up, "How may I help you today?"
"I understand that my family was rather wealthy," I said without beating around the bush, "I was raised by my non-magical family for most of my life and have only found out about my magic today. I would like to enquire into my family's assets."
"Name?" said the Goblin.
"Harry Potter."
The Goblins head snapped up and he glared at me. He slowly put down his pen and took a deep breath.
"Do you know how many people have come in here claiming to be Harry Potter?" he asked with an air of forced calmness, "Most who come claiming that attempt to show the scar as proof. Are you going to shove that in my face as well?"
I blinked. That was one of the things that set me apart from the normal Harry. I didn't actually have the scar, mainly because I destroyed the chunk of Soul before it could latch onto me, although I did have a VERY faint mark on my head.
"What scar?" I asked.
The Goblin narrowed his eyes and looked me up and down.
"Hmm, interesting," he muttered, "Very well, lets see if you truly are Potter. Come with me, Client."
The Goblin paused, apparently waiting for something.
"Alright, lead the way Master...Grindclaw," I said with a quick glance at the nameplate on his desk.
Grindclaw nodded and led the way into a network of winding tunnels that I quickly became hopelessly lost in. Eventually, we reached a door with the name POTTER on the brass plaque screwed to the door.
"Place your hand on the nob," said Grindclaw, "If you are a Potter, it will let you in. If not…"
He gave a nasty grin but didn't elaborate. I gulped, but did as I was told. I winced as I felt something pierce my finger, drawing blood, before the plaque glowed and the door unlocked with a click. Grindclaws long eyebrows shot up so quickly I'm surprised they didn't go shooting off into orbit. Apparently he hadn't believed that I was indeed the genuine article. Still, he didn't say anything and instead led me inside the room where he took a seat behind the desk and opened the file that rested on the desk.
"So, I take it that I do have money?" I asked as I sat down across from him.
"Oh yes, and lots of it," said Grindclaw, "Your Trust Vault contains a total of 2000 gallons and is refilled yearly from the Main family Vault. I am afraid that I cannot give you any details on that until you come of age."
I nodded.
"Fair enough," I said, "How do I access my money?"
"You will need your Vault Key," said Grindclaw, "However, judging from what you said earlier, it is not in your possession, correct?"
I nodded.
"Correct."
"Hmm, in that case, we will have to make you a new one and change the locks on your Vaults," said the Goblin, "I'm sure you understand the security measure."
I nodded.
"Of course," I said, "May I ask if this will cost me anything?"
Grindclaw shook his head.
"Not this time as you could not possibly have been aware of your Keys location. However, any future updates will come with a cost of 50 Galleons, so please keep your key safe."
Well that was a nice surprise. Grindclaw scribbled something on a piece of parchment and dropped it into a slit in the desk.
"There, we shall have your key ready for you by the time we get back to the main hall," said Grindclaw, "Come along."
The Goblin led me out of the office and back to the main hall where we were met by a smaller, younger looking Goblin who Grindclaw handed me off to and led me down to my Vault. After a ride that had me stumbling around for a few minutes after we arrived, the new Goblin led me over to my Vault door and opened it with a key that he handed to me. After a quick explanation of the conversion system, I filled up a money bag and headed back to the surface, ready to get my shopping done so I could start learning Magic.
And done. Hmm, I wonder what it was that Lily implanted into Harry? Should be interesting, no?
The Dursleys fate was based on DZ2's Harry Potter and the Return of Firestorm story. I thought it was cool and rather ironic, so I went with that.
I couldn't find any information on Tom's blood status, so I decided that I might as well have him as a Muggleborn from a slightly battered home.
And I think thats everything. Please leave a review on your way out!