In the DeNile home Cleo DeNile watched honey slowly drop off her spoon. She had a wide grin on her face. The honey sank onto her grapefruit peels, Cleo giggled quietly.
Ramses DeNile stared at his daughter with suspicion.
Cleo put her elbow on the table and her face in her palm as the servants took her plates. Ramses pretended to clear his throat; Cleo took her elbow off the table.
"Cleo, what time will you be home from school today?" Ramses asked.
Cleo stood up and giggled again. "I have fearleading practice, Daddy. I'll be picked up at twilight."
The ancient Mummy said nothing more and watched Cleo walk out of the room. The former-pharaoh turned to his first-born, who was checking her iCoffin under the table.
"Nefera, I am concerned for your sister." Ramses said.
"Uggh, why bother?" Nefera asked while looking at her selfies on Instagore.
"She's become unwell; singing to herself and constantly giddy. I fear she's being exposed to something toxic." The Ramses said, imagining peasants cooking dangerous toxins in Mad Science classes.
"Her bestfriend is a dweeb, you should be scared of her walking in and wearing pocket-protectors and knee-high socks." Nefera shuttered.
Ramses was satisfied with the background-check on Ghoulia Yelps. He didn't care for working-class zombies but appreciated that his daughter took her academic work serious enough to hire such a fine tutor.
"I am more afraid she's receiving brain-damage from the mysterious danger. Speak with your sister and report back to me." Ramses ordered.
Two hours later Nefera walked into her father's study. Lit by torches the shadows of the gods' statues went across his scrolls and jeweled books. Ramses sat in a gold chair; it reminded Nefera of the throne he sat in when she was five-thousand years younger.
"You've discovered something already?" Ramses asked, his fingers lacing together on his lap.
Nefera grinned wickedly. "Oh Daddy, it's awful!" she pretended to cough, "I mean, you were right to worry because Cleo is in very big trouble."
"Dear Lord Ra, has she been cursed?" Ramses asked.
"By Cupid!" Nefera said, she looked at her father's confused face then said, "What I mean to say, and it pains me to say so, is poor little Cleo has fallen in love."
Ramses blinked. "What?"
Nefera held up her younger sister's diary. "Would you like me to save you from all of the disgusting and sappy details?"
"'Fallen in love'? Absurd! She's an infant, a mau kitten! She has no clue what such things are!" Ramses said is a growling voice.
"According to the most recent pages she's been royally excited every Saturday nights because it's the alone time she shares with 'the only monster in the history who's as beautiful inside as he is outside, and even almost as beautiful as me.' So disillusioned." Nefera shakes her head as her finger trails the papyrus paper.
"I do not believe this." Ramses said, though he did consider infatuation would explain Cleo's bubbliness.
"'He has angry taste in music but the kindest soul, I could turn to dust when he kisses me, we spent an hour just looking at each other in silence it was so magical!' blah blah blah ba-blah, Daddy, I'm sparing you the worse of this." Nefera lied.
"Dear Hathor you've reached my daughter too soon." Ramses told the horned-woman statue to his left. "I did not realize there were available princes attending Monster High."
"Ooooh! That's the best part! I mean, I'm sorry to say this Daddy, but the boy Cleo chooses to be in love with is a…." Nefera cues a servant with a drum, she watches her father's eyes widen then says, "A commoner!"
The DeNiles allow a beat of silence to pass before Ramses says, "Nefera, I asked you to speak with your sister not frighten me with fables."
"Daddy I would've never thought to make something like that up! I swear to Ra, Cleo wrote it herself in this diary!" Nefera said, turning to an earlier page. "She's like, 'I've accepted that he is a commoner because he makes me feel extraordinary; despite how crazy it sounds I don't even care as long as he doesn't stop being the most gruesomely wonderful boyfriend. I think I've felt this way since we first met at the Wolf family's casket-ball-viewing party.' You heard that right, Daddy? Werewolves!"
"A werewolf has stolen my daughter's heart?" Ramses said, horrified.
"No, though she did have sex with one back in September."
Ramses gags, a servant rushes over to bring him wine. Another begins to fan him.
"Cleo says she dumped the werewolf when she met this snake-in-the-grass. Do you want to know the name of the boy who turned your little ghoul into a whore?"
Someone has to be beheaded tonight, Ramses thought as he looked at his teal-haired daughter.
"Deuce Gorgon! Give me that phone this instant or I will chop off your head!" Cleo yelled as she tried to reach for the phone he held over his head.
"No way, this is the picture I'm using as my background." Deuce said. They were having a picnic in the cemetery near Monster High.
"You got me at a terrible angle!"
"That does not exist."
"My hair is a mess!"
"I think it looks good."
"I will tell the Ghostly Gossip you shouted 'Excelsior' during our quickie at the Justin Biter concert!"
"I thought you took that as a compliment!"
"Deuce!"
"Alright," The boy with the living-snakes for hair showed the mummy the phone as he deleted the picture in question. "That was a hott photo, no matter what you think."
Cleo relaxed, instead of scaling his shoulder to reach his phone, she hugged his neck and rubbed the back of his scaly head.
"I can make a million of those, we can decide on a better one together." She said.
"Okay." The gorgon said before he kissed her. His forked tongue cut her gums; his thumb behind her ear touched a nerve Cleo didn't know she had. She nibbled on his lips, she imagined covering him with gold jewelry, golden sunglasses, and wearing very little else.
Deuce had his palm on her hip when he heard a drumming ringtone.
"Creepy cool ringtone." The gorgon told the girl nipping at his neck. Cleo let go of his chain necklace and huffed.
"Hit pause for a second," The princess said as she pushed away from him and turned on her phone.
"Daddy? Yes. Yes. Well….maybe. Yes. Daddy, call them off. Yes. Yes I know." Cleo looked at Deuce when she said, "No."
Deuce raised an eyebrow over his sunglasses.
Cleo sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes, Daddy." She clicked off her phone.
"So how's dad?" Deuce asked.
"No pressure but you're having dinner with my family tomorrow night." Cleo informed him.
"Whoa. Major."
"If you don't want to go I completely understand."
"No, I want to go." Deuce says.
"Really?"
"Yeah, I mean I think it's about time. Plus I am curious to see where you live." Deuce's snakes hissed in emphasis.
Cleo tried to smile, "I know I've never invited you before but Deucy, well, I wasn't sure you'd….like my family."
"I like you."
"I know but my family can be, well, a bit mean sometimes."
You had to get it from somewhere, Deuce thought. "You think they won't like me?"
Cleo looked at the picnic blanket under her shoes. "I like you."
"And that's my reason to do almost anything." Deuce took her hand, a ruby on every finger, into his which were paler and had one silver ring. Cleo watched herself smile in his sunglasses' reflection. Her thick eyeliner almost engulfed her bright irises as she gave a scathing look at Deuce.
"We have the rest of the afternoon to fix what you're wearing. I've been wanting for the right opportunity to bring this up because Deuce, my darling Deuce, does all of your money go toward sunglasses or do you choose to only wear three shirts a week? And for Geb's sake why?"
Deuce thought his ghoulfriend had a beautiful voice; he wouldn't be able to replay most of what she said but the theatrical fluency kept him entranced. Cleo was explaining the history behind her great-uncle Senusret when Deuce noticed an Egyptian woman with teal hair walked in.
Cleo's hand on her boyfriend's arm tightened. "Nefera."
"Cleo." The teal-haired mummy said.
"Nefera, dude, how's it rolling?" Deuce asked, he'd seen Nefera at Monster High in passing but this was his first time speaking to her. Old Queen Scorpion was fine but she lacked Cleo's elegance; at least his ghoulfriend faced the people she looked down on.
The other mummy glanced at Deuce and began to chuckle. "Oh this is going to be hilarious."
Nefera's younger sister glared and puckered her lips. She let the annoyance go, she doesn't have a gorgeous boo to face off Daddy for her so win for me. Though her brushoff doesn't give me much hope for Deuce's survival.
"Um, great house." Deuce offered while the mummies continued to glare menacingly at one another.
Nefera raised an eyebrow at him, Deuce felt slightly intimidated. He felt Nefera's mean look was dry toast when compared with the searing heat come from the, correction, The Mummy walk into the room. There was something wicked cool about the old school's swagger; they walked through fire, looked like wrinkled hell and could still slice a monster in half with a look.
Cleo stood up from the couch, it took Deuce a second to realize he should stand with her.
"My daughter and…..friend." Ramses stated, tapping a long finger on his cane.
"Daddy, this is boy-friend Deuce." Ramses' youngest daughter passive-aggressively corrected.
"Nice to meet you, sir." The gorgon said with a hand out. Cleo's father look at the top of his snakes' heads to the bottom of his sneakers.
"Not happening." Ramses said, he slammed his cane on the floor. A trapdoor opened under Deuce. Cleo watched his snakes drop into the hole and heard him yell. She couldn't tell if it was from shock or delight.
"Daddy!" Cleo stomped in aggravation.
"Darn it, Daddy, I wanted to see you grill him to a crisp, not just throw the garbage out!" Nefera whined.
"Cleo, what is this world made you think choosing that would be a good idea? Have you forgotten you are a DeNile?" Ramses asked.
"As a DeNile I was raised to have impeccable taste in only the finest things in this unlife!" Cleo said, she was angry but trying to stay above it with a rational tone.
Nefera loudly scoffs. "Was I the only one to notice his splitends?"
Cleo shot her sister a dirty look then gave her father a pleading look. "I admit we're unconventional but what Deuce lacks in class, education and sense of appearance he makes up for in all the other important qualities befitting of my suitor."
Ramses gagged as he remembered her diary entries. "My daughter, allow me to save you precious time; distance yourself from that boy as soon as possible. I'm certain your sister can introduce you to more eligible young monsters. She has very refined taste"
Cleo held onto the pure and amazing fact that Deuce loved her as she was and would never compare her to Nefera. She took strength from that as stayed cool as she told her father, "Excuse me, Daddy but I'm going to find out which room of horror Deuce landed in."
"Did you hear anything I just said!" Ramses yelled as his daughter walked out of the room.
When the maps of the tunnels under Cleo's home confounded her the young princess decided to use a cheat-code. Ra dammit that I learn nerd lingo, thanks Ghoulia, Cleo thought.
Cleo held up an idol that resembled Geb, god of the earth. She kneeled at the side of her bed and sent him her prayer. A rain cloud appeared on Cleo's mattress. The grey puffs melted into Deuce Gorgon, if he had gone through a few rounds with a werewolf-with-rabies.
Deuce turned his head to Cleo, one of his sunglass frames was cracked but he looked through the other one."Cleo?"
"Yes, Deucy?"
"Your house…is… CLAWESOME!" He said, punching into the air.
"What?" Cleo asked, rising her curved eyebrow.
"I was almost crushed, minced, sautéed, graded and brain-raped! It was insane!" Deuce said, his snakes wiggling past his ears almost reaching his wide grin.
"And you're…you liked that?"
"Yeah, I mean it's not great that your dad hates me like that but babe, please take this right, I'm on such a high right now I don't care. It's gonna hurt later but this second-" Deuce pulled Cleo on the bed, her black hair all over the pillow, bright eyes and beautiful lips under his adrenaline-flushed chest. "I really wanna share how freaking alive I feel with you."
Cleo lowered her eyelashes and put her hands under his chin, "I appreciate the offer but," Cleo not-so-gently pushes him away, "I need you to hold those thoughts,"
She looks down at him then up at his face with a smirk, "I like the destination of where you wanna go but if you don't leave this room and go now you will be eaten by crocodiles."
"Babe-"
"I don't want that to happen, Daddy does and he can be stubborn as a Sphinx in need of a face-lift." Cleo said as she kissed the top of his burnt face, "I'll call you tomorrow."
"Call early."
"Who is in charge in this relationship?" Cleo allowed him to pull her to a sitting position. She met his hungry kiss with vigor but self-control enough to push him back and put her bangs against his forehead.
"You're a bombshell."
"Fuck you later." Cleo promised with an index finger tapping his bruised nose.