Title: Glue
Summary: Locus is a broken man and it takes two kind people to fix him. Locus/Donut/Caboose (Lovebugs)
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Rating: T
He was broken glass. Shattered by the war and years of being kept from healing. Smashed to pieces by the realization of the things awful he had done. The atrocities he had committed. For the longest time, he had thought he was a soldier, but now he knew that he was nothing but a monster. A broken down, warped version of who he once was with no hope of redemption for the things he had done. No hope of bringing back the countless people he had killed.
He had nowhere to go. No home. No family to call his own. He had nothing in this world. Chorus did not want him, understandably so, and he could not go back to the UNSC. He was alone in this world. That is, he was until Captain Caboose took him in.
Despite his comrades' protests, Caboose offered for Locus to come live with him. Locus, of course, felt he did not deserve such an offer, but he did not have the heart to turn Caboose down. Even if he knew it would likely be hard for the two of them to afford an apartment together.
In the end, they all moved to Hawaii to stay together. It was Captain Grif's home town and he knew many people there. He was able to find his friends decent jobs there and even found one for Locus after Caboose begged him. Of course Locus did not last long at that job. He had knew that did not deserve the job anyhow.
Things were hard right off the bat. Caboose did not make enough to support both of them. Locus knew this arrangement would not last. He had been about ready to break it to Caboose when Caboose happily told him Private Donut was going to be living with them now too. Donut made a bit more than Caboose and they would be able to keep their place if he took the spare bedroom.
Things got better after that. They could afford to survive and Donut was a pleasant addition to the household. However, Locus still felt he did not deserve any of this. He was a monster and he did not deserve their kindness. Locus kept them away for that reason. He built up walls and hid behind a cold, unfeeling mask. Keeping his pain and insecurities bottled up in his shattered, glass frame.
One night, however, he finally broke. His pain and his insecurities and his self-loathing bubbled out and spilled through his cracks and through his gaps. He broke down in front of Donut and Caboose when he was offered a simple pastry. It seemed like a small gesture, but to Locus it was one kind deed too many. He broke down and thanked them for their hospitality and their kindness. He cried and told them he could never pay them back and they did not have to treat him so decently. He even went so far as to beg them to stop being so nice to him after all of the things he had done.
Caboose and Donut ignored his begging to be treated like a monster and held him right there in the kitchen. For the first time they finally saw his broken body and jagged edges and they seemed intent on piecing him together. Although he knew he did not deserve it, Locus let them try.
After that, his roommates had become more aware of his pain. They could hear him when he cried or when he was stirring due to a nightmare. They noticed how tense he got around strangers and the rest of the Reds and Blues. As a result of their awareness, Caboose and Donut began comforting Locus and helping him when he needed it. They held him when he cried and they joined him in bed when he had those vivid nightmares. They excused him from social interactions when he was not up to it and helped ease him into small gatherings with their comrades.
Naturally Locus found himself falling for Caboose and Donut. Although they never really discussed it, the three had become a couple. Of course Locus felt like he was a mix-matched piece trying to fit into the wrong puzzle, though they both assured him often that he was a great boyfriend. Part of him felt like they were lying.
Every little kiss he received felt so good, but out of place. Every warm embrace he received was wonderful, but like it was not meant to be. However, despite his doubt, Locus did enjoy their affection. Caboose gave the best hugs and Donut had the softest lips. Both were perfect for spooning.
A voice in the back of his mind constantly reminded him of his past and cast doubt on his partners. The voice screamed that he was unworthy of their love. The voice told him lies, claiming that their love was all an act. It chipped away pieces that Caboose and Donut had glued back into place and undid any progress they had made. The voice broke him down again and again. The worst part was that the voice sounded just like Felix.
One day, Locus decided that he would be a burden no longer. He enjoyed a quiet evening with his two partners, showered them with kisses, and waited for them to fall asleep. He stayed with them only a little longer before he crept out of bed. He packed his things and pecked them both good bye.
The walk toward the front door felt like an eternity. As he reached for the door, he was stopped by a peep from behind. In the hallway he saw Caboose. His heart leapt as he watched Caboose look at him, then his bag. Tears welled in those tired, blue eyes of his and Locus knew that he truly was a selfish, disgusting monster.
Caboose called for Donut with the same sort of urgency one would call for help with when I loved one was in dire need. Donut was there before Locus could even muster a thought. Before he knew it, Donut was taking his bag and Caboose was ushering him towards the couch. A lump formed in Locus' throat as Caboose clung to him, sobbing into his neck. Donut soon joined them on the couch, holding Locus' hand and stroking it gently with his thumb.
Locus cried his apologies, telling his partners how he was undeserving of their love. He pleaded for forgiveness as they held him. Donut whispered to him, offering him sweet words and assuring him that he was no longer the monster he used to be. Caboose gave him gentle kisses and told him how silly he was being, repeating how much he loved Locus. Together they picked up Locus' pieces and put him back together again.
For a moment, Locus allowed himself to believe their words. Their soft voice drowned out the screaming in the back of his mind. For a moment, with them holding him and saying those kind words, Locus felt almost whole again. He felt less broken because Caboose and Donut were the glue that held him together.