Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.
Well here goes my first fanfiction...
Douzo~
Death Anniversary
When you lose someone close to you…
…and you remember them, and all the memories you shared together… you begin to pick out little things you could have changed, think about what you could have done differently.
Regrets begin to pile up and surround you, choke you.
Yet you can't do anything about it anymore. All the gratitude and apologies you wanted to deliver are cast aside and left to rust.
You cannot go back in time.
And you don't know what to do, because that important person is now gone forever.
"you don't realize what you have until you lose it"
We hear these phrases day to day, and use them likewise, but we don't understand their true meaning until we experience that loss ourselves. And it comes crashing down upon us. The confusion. Pain. Suffering. Regret.
We learn about the reflexes, adaptation, immunity of our body. Our body strives to live. It reacts to keep going. We live to live. Except the finale for all of us is the same.
Death.
Like an unknown expiry date attached to us. So we must live every day of our lives as if it is the last.
Yet I cannot bring myself to move from this spot on the grass. In front of the stone structure, identical to the others around it, arranged neatly in rows.
Natsume Hyuuga
27.11.2000-25.12.2012
He was too young to have died. At 12 years old on Christmas day.
A year has passed and it was the 25th of December today. Christmas.
His father and sister had come in the evening along with most of my classmates to pay their respects. I lingered a while and before I knew it, it was night time.
It's dark and I feel something wet on my arm. A drop of water?
I turn my head upwards, and I see millions of small white specks, falling from the vastness of the sky.
Snow.
And it overwhelms me.
A tear rolls down my cheek. Suddenly there's a whole load of them, streaming down my face, and they won't stop.
All my emotions that have been bottled up inside of me for a whole year, are released at once and I begin to let out loud, wracked sobs.
I want him here.
I want a Natsume here right now.
I'm bent towards the ground, strands of my hair brushing the soil.
After a few minutes, a thin sheet of snow has formed around me, and I remember his words that day.
I'm sitting next to him under a certain Sakura tree.
It's dark, and the moon shines like a silver coin in the sky.
"ne, Natsume, do you like the snow?" I chirp happily.
He glances at me, the moonlight falling upon his face, and it illuminates his features beautifully.
"Why are you asking stupid questions so randomly?"
Of course. This was Natsume Hyuuga.
"I love the snow" I say ignoring him, "it's pretty"
It's quiet before he speaks.
"I like it"
I stare up at him in awe and then smile, which soon turns into a giggle.
"What?" he grunts
"Nothing" I answer, with a smile in my voice.
His crimson eyes shift towards the moon.
"Don't stop smiling", he rasps out "even after I'm gone"
"but you're not going anywhere" I answer
We sit there for a while.
"Oi polka" he says
"Yes?" I give him a questioning look
He pulls one of his hands out of his pocket. He's holding a squashed orange tulip, flopped to one side.
"For you" he says, stretching it out to me.
I'm so happy, I can't contain my joy.
"Natsume!" I gasp, as I take it.
He glares at me.
"It's orange to go with my name right?"I say, my eyes glittering
"No, it's half-rotten to go with your looks" he deadpannes.
"You…!" I begin, but I know he doesn't mean it. He confirms it with a small "I'm kidding"
I giggle again.
"Thanks Natsume I love it" I genuinely say, holding the floppy tulip up.
"I'll be expecting you to return the favour" he says
And we watch the snow falling prettily blanketing everything it lands upon.
And even between my tears and hiccuping sobs, I manage a small smile in memory of him.
"I love you" I whisper, and it seems to resonate throughout the whole graveyard.
The snow is thick now and I leave behind a trail of footprints, as I walk away from Natsume's grave. On it lay an orange tulip bright in the moonlight.
Now I wanna know what you guys thought of it. Reviews good or bad! It is our first meeting after all.
Thanks in advance to all reviewers.
crimson-crimson ^^