It's officially the first night since Al committed suicide. Drove himself right over the chasm.

I can hear the chasm roar in the distance. For whatever reason, I'm heading towards it. Maybe some deep desire to see what Al saw, to try to feel what he felt.

In the back of my spine I feel fear begin to take root. This is also the spot where they attacked me. Peter, Drew and Al. My mind still clouds with disbelief that Al would've tried to hurt me. I thought we were friends. Then again, I didn't think he would try to kill himself.

I can hear the water rushing by, crashing at rocks violently at the bottom of the chasm. These waters take no mercy. I lean on the ledge, trying to imagine what it had to be like for him. Looking down at the aquatic grave, I can vaguely make out my reflection. Just swirls of blonde hair and soft ivory skin. Nothing else. I make myself take a deep breath and push myself up a little on the barrier. The chasm seems to scream at me, taunting me. My heart begins to pick up speed and my mouth feels dry.

I wonder if he thought of his family. I wonder if he realized he had friends.

This is insane, I think. I try to bring myself off the side, but the worst happens. My feet lose their grip, and my body quickly slides off the barrier.

I grab onto the barrier with my left hand. My screams drown in the noise created by the chasm. Nobody would be able to hear me. The chasm will take two initiates this year. Water sprays onto the bottom of my clothing, slowly soaking the bottom half of me. I close my eyes, unsure of whether my face is wet from tears or the chasm. My body shakes with fear and disbelief. This is really it.

I finally get myself to stop screaming. I'm just tired. I don't know how long I've been hanging on. There isn't much strength left in me. The barrier is too wet to get a decent grip with both of my hands.

Eric said that the Dauntless choose us. The chasm just chose me.

So I just let go.

But instead of falling down, my body lurches upward.

"Are you stupid? Did we not just have a ceremony for someone else dying down there? Are you trying to test me?" Tobias is yelling directly in my face. "I talked about this the first day you arrived here. Out of everyone, I assumed you would at least be smart enough to not try this. Why would you do that?"

Panic is evident on his face. It is obvious that Tobias was scared out of his mind for me. I don't care though; I'm just extremely glad that he found me.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry" A small voice that sounds like mine tells him. I pull him towards me and begin to cry. His arms wrap around me and he holds me close. My small tears begin to turn into hysterical wails.

"It's okay. You're okay." He whispers in my ear. When I finally calm down, I hear his heartbeat over the chasm. It calms me considerably.

"I just wanted to see what Al did. I still can't believe-" I begin, but catch myself in a sob.

"Tris, he was obviously in a desperate place. Something we should've caught but didn't. You aren't. Promise me you won't try that again."

I nod my head in agreement. "Thank you, thank you for saving me. If you weren't there-"

He cut me off with a slow kiss. He is right. I'm not in the same place Al was. I'm somewhere better, with Tobias at my side.