Title: Turning the Corner
Author: s0hmam0miji
Fandom: Saiyuki
Character(s): Sha Gojyo, Cho Hakkai
Pairing(s): Very light 58
Rating: T
LJ Community: all-unwritten
Prompt: #131 - Around the Corner
Challenge: None
Warnings: Shounen ai, Language
Spoilers: None
Timeline: Post journey
Summary: It's Gojyo's turn to think too much.
Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all Saiyuki characters belong to the great Kazuya Minekura-sensei.
A/N: Totally unbeta'd. My flight got delayed, so I didn't get home until 4am. I wrote this while waiting for my hair to dry. Any and all crappiness can be blamed on me and my lack of brain function after being awake for 23 hours straight.

You smiled at me.

You laid there, dying in the mud, and you fucking smiled. I could tell by the look in your eyes that you wanted to die that night. It was written all over your face. Hell, it was written all over the road in your blood and guts. But like I told you before, I was an ass. Heh. Still am, actually. Like hell I was gonna let you die that easily.

I turned over and looked across the bed at you. Through the scant moonlight drifting into the room, I could see the blankets on your side of the bed rising and falling like a gentle wave. You were lying perfectly still, but I knew you were still awake.

"Hey Hakkai... S'not like you feel that way now, right?"

"I'm sorry?"

"When you looked up at me that night, you looked like... I mean... Fuck, you know what I mean, right?"

"Ah. I... think I understand."

You stayed quiet for a long time after that. I started to wonder if maybe you had fallen asleep after all, so I craned my neck and squinted to get a better look at you.

"No, Gojyo... I don't believe I do anymore."

"Good. 'Cuz if you start thinkin' that way again, you KNOW that me and Goku and even that shitty priest'll have something to say about it."

"Ah ha ha ha... Of course, Gojyo. I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

"Heh. You BETTER."

After a while, the outline of your back -- normally stiff as a board with worry when you're awake -- started to relax and sink slowly into the bed. Just to be sure, I reached out and lightly stroked your arm.

The love I couldn't get and the love he couldn't protect...

A quiet, contented sigh drifted from your lips to my ears, and it suddenly hit me that maybe my life had finally turned a corner.

Damn, who knew?

I watched you for a little while longer. You looked kinda cold lying there, all curled up with your arms wrapped around yourself, so I pulled the covers up a little higher and tucked the ends around your shoulders. It seemed to work because that death grip you had on your arms seemed to loosen, even if just a little bit.

Where the hell would my life be right now if I hadn't gone straight home that night? Hell, if I had just gone around the corner to the next bar, I probably would've picked up some tart and sweet-talked my way into her bed. Easy. But then, I never would've found you... and you would've...

Shit.

Now that it's on my mind, I can't help but to think that if I'd done just about anything different that night, I'd be six feet under by now, too.

Fuck. Why did I have to go and start thinking about this shit in the middle of the fucking night?

"Go to sleep, Gojyo."

"Wh- Huh?"

"Go to sleep. You're thinking loud enough to wake the dead."

"Heh. Yeah, okay."

And then you turned around and smiled at me. Fucking smiled.