I do not own Red vs. Blue.

"Wash!" said Tucker.

Washington bolted upright from his bed. The once special agent swung his feet to the floor. Sweat clung to his chest and neck. A bead rolled unchecked down his temple. Wash labored to heave air into his lungs. The Freelancer's eyes darted all over the room. Finally, they landed on Tucker.

His eyebrows furrowed as if he was confused to see the man.

"You were having a nightmare, man," he said. Washington nodded. Yes, another one. He drug a sweaty palm over his face. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that would remove the images from his mind.

"You need to see someone," said Tucker. Whenever Lavernius Tucker sounded serious, things did not bode well. Washington nodded again.

Wash noticed that Tucker remained in the doorway. The last nightmare the private had tried to shake him awake. That resulted in Wash gripping Tucker in neck hold so brutal, Tucker had screamed for his life as soon as he could get a breath. It took Caboose to lock Wash in a bear hug so fierce that Wash had dangled in the air for a full minute before he realized what was happening.

Caboose sat him on the bed as Tucker wheezed on the floor. He wore the same look of concern then.

"Not going to hurt you Private," he said.

"I know man. But I if I'm going to be in a bedroom with anybody that's breathing hard and sweating, it's going to be a chick."

Washington involuntarily smiled and rolled his eyes at the same time.

"TUCKER," yelled Caboose. "Grif is on the phone. He wants us to come to the bar tonight. We are going to find a nice lady for Simmons…again!"

"I'm in," Tucker called. "They so need my help. You in Wash?"

Washington let his head hang in between his shoulders. The therapeutic effect of mind numbing alcohol did have its allure.

Wash nodded for the third time.

Wash decided to drive his sports utility vehicle. It was something of a tank, and as a long as Caboose wasn't speaking to it, he gave him a sense of comfort. Tucker had heartily approved of its seven passenger capacity in case some ladies wanted to come home with them. Washington had parked it in the garage with very little fanfare the first day he brought it home.

It was the best vehicle for Chorus' terrain, in a civilian context.

Caboose had mentioned that several bodies could fit in the trunk space. He was delighted that there could be "road activities" and games in the back. Tucker chimed in with his trade mark Bow Chicka Bow Wow. Caboose then dubbed the car as Shelly, since it reminded him of their tank, Shelia from Blood Gulch. Washington promptly forbade Caboose from going near it without him.

Standing in a circle were Grif, Carolina, and Donut talking with his hands. Doc came strolling out with a young lady who appeared to be very, very happy. She looked so happy, her grin was creeping Wash out. Simmons was leaning against an SUV similar to his own with his face in his hands.

Tucker began to shake his head. Caboose bounced up and down. "Do you think Carolina has Church with her?"

"Maybe Caboose, but tonight is all about ass. Don't forget," said Tucker.

"Oh Lord," said Wash. He parked and slid out the car. The group gave a hearty greeting. Wash smiled at the sight of Carolina in her civvies. Skinny jeans and T-shirt. Her rusty red hair was pulled into a high bun, leaving heaving her long neck exposed.

Wash put a hand out cupped her neck from behind. She was soft as suspected. He quickly pretended to choke her out so he wouldn't have to endure another round of I-only-love-you-as-a-brother-Wash. Carolina laughed and playfully landed a mock combo to his face.

"So, how is the operation," Wash said. "Where is Sarge?"

"Oh, he isn't coming. His wife just had babies! He said I could come and play with them when they were not so fragile!"

"Didn't his wife deliver months ago?" said Grif. "Yes!" said Doc. "Three healthy babies. Two girls and one boy," said Doc.

"So he became a parent, and became fucking boring." said Tucker.

"You're a parent," said Simmons."Yeah, but I me, so I can't be fucking boring, dude," Tucker retorted.

"Yes, in four weeks, he is going to have a big party! We are all invited to meet his babies!" said Caboose.

"Aw man, Sarge used to pull a lot of tail with his old man swag," said Tucker. "Now, I have to rely on Caboose for a wingman."

"Don't worry Tucker, Franklin Donut knows how to get tail," said Donut. He was a little wobbly on his feet, but still managed to appear well put together. He had already been to the bar. That night he wore a form fitting T-shirt with loose fitting jeans taking care to coordinate his shoes with color of the stiches.

"I dressed Simmons for tonight," he said. Wash and Tucker exchanged confused glances clearly thinking the same thing. "Doesn't he look strapping?"

Exasperated, Simmons glared at Donut. "Donut please! Everyone got it! You don't have to elaborate." Simmons' normally unruly hair and facial hair had been manicured by an expert hand. Because it was normally hiding his face, Donut cut it low around the sides combed it back with some product.

His bright brown eyes could actually be seen since he was forced to wear his contacts.

"I certainly think so," said Carolina. She walked over to Simmons and looped her arm in his in his. Washington shot up an eyebrow.

"Oh this is a classic tactic," said Tucker. "Guy walks in with a hot girl - other chicks try to steal him to prove their own hotness." Carolina smiled and nodded. "Pretty much," said Carolina.

"Okay so here's the game plan," said. We are all going to walk in neutrally, but Carolina and Simmons will stay close to each other for approximately an hour. Let other bitches wonder what the hell is going on. Then, Carolina dips and then the whores come swarm his dick."

"Can we play another party game after this?" said Caboose. "Hopefully there will be many games Caboose," said Grif. "Women are oddly attracted to your adorable moronic ways so yeah."

"Well," said the happy woman under Doc's arm. "I would definitely blow him in the bathroom."

"Whhhooooooaaaaaa," said everyone.

"Okay, we're done here," said Wash. He loped across the parking lot without them, eager to get to the bar and drink his therapy.