AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey, readers! Whoo, let's preface this by saying this fic takes place in the HG/SS game!verse, and that yes, I do indeed refer to the Oak boy as "Blue." I hope that doesn't turn you away ^^;
- I also refer to Ethan as "Gold," because a) when I started writing this, I thought that because the rival's official name was Silver (and Kris's full name was Crystal) I thought that logically, the protag's name was Gold, like in Pokéspe. b) He was called Gold unofficially (like Silver is 'cause he has no official canon name) until HG/SS. And c) I named my player Gold and have been playing with that name for all of 55 hours of my damn life.
- The story has mentions of alcohol/underage drinking and is generally a bit of a downer for a fic about a kid's game. C'est la vie.
- (Also Red and Blue's canon ages for this game are 14? yeah ok? they're so young. I've had no problems messing with canon so far so I made them 16 and Gold 13 as of the Pokémon League challenge in )
- This was supposed to be Namelessshipping but it ended up being more Inspirationalshipping
Anyhow, enjoy!
How long will you play this game?
Will you fight or will you walk away?
How long will you let it burn?
Will you wait until it all burns down?
Will you hide until it all burns down?
Will it hurt when it all burns down?
Will you fight when it all burns down?
- RED, "Let it Burn"
Red is tired.
And he carries the feeling with him everywhere he goes. He hasn't seen Blue since taking over the championship, and he knows he's hurt the boy's feelings but he doesn't know what to do.
His mother won't stop being proud of him, smiling like a maniac everywhere she goes, proudly proclaiming to every mom around, "My thirteen-year-old son is the champion of Kanto!"
And at first, they all congratulate him, shaking his hand and asking about his journey, and exclaiming "it was you who broke up Team Rocket?" For a while, he is a hero, someone respected and looked up to in all of Kanto.
Soon, he is on TV, and he is everywhere, and he wonders to himself if Blue would enjoy this more than he does. If his spiky-haired rival would have loved being paraded around like a prized showponyta because it would substitute in the love that Red knew Blue had never really felt.
When the two of them were young, Blue would wander by Red's house, looking to eat a snack or play a game because Daisy didn't want to deal with him and his own grandfather didn't even know his name.
Red shakes his head. He knows Blue wants nothing to do with him anymore.
Soon, the excitement wears off, the Champion is just another guy, and for a while as Red gets older, he watches people grow bored with him. He watches himself slowly get left behind until even his own mother wonders why he isn't doing anything with himself anymore.
Red has done all he knows. He'd proven himself better than his rival, he'd become the Pokémon champion, he'd completed the pokedex for Professor Oak, nearly dying in the process of catching some of the more elusive creatures.
He decides to wander, to go somewhere he has not been for a while, and meet a few old friends. Up, and over Kanto, flying his Charizard as far as he knows, but once he sees the Pokémon League, he presses on. Over the border of what he knows and into, finally, something that might give him a purpose again. A new place to explore.
New Pokémon.
It skitters by him one day, a creature he's never seen. It is so small, but he has no idea what it is, and this makes him feel threatened somehow. Like this tiny creature has just thrown off his whole life, has just made him feel as insignificant as he'd felt when people began to no longer care about him.
Blue is angry.
But the anger fades steadily and he is left with a sense of understanding. Slowly he begins to realise that his grandfather had been right, and that his desire to win had overthrown his desire to feel.
Blue knows why that is.
Admitting it was hard. So hard, that Blue could not and would not release the thought from where it lay in the back of his mind.
He wanted to prove himself. All Blue ever wanted was to feel like he could be valued. More than his sister's contest of the week, more than his grandfather's research and, as time wore on, more than Red and his "promising future."
Blue used his Pokémon as tools, but not to hurt them, he never wanted to hurt them. But in a blind sort of muffled rage, he ignored what they needed so that he could be the strongest. He hid their needs behind his own, because damn it, he just wanted someone to look at him and not see second best.
Red is betrayed.
Or at least, that's how he feels, surrounded by Pokémon that Professor Oak must have lied to him about. He feels like he's been pushed underwater, a whole new world for him to see but his excitement is drowned by desperation as he realises he means even less in Johto than he does in Kanto. That not only does nobody know of him here, he knows of nothing, as well.
Some of the Pokémon he knows are here, Pidgeys and Bellsprouts, and it feels a bit like home again. But then there's creatures that his 'dex doesn't recognise and once again he feels that sense of smallness, of worthlessness, that is beginning to have less and less to do with Professor Oak and his 150 count.
Blue is longing for comfort.
He feels alone once again, his sister gone, his grandfather swamped with work. He heads for the home of the only other constant in his life, the only person that ever showed continued interest in him despite the path of muted anger he was walking down.
When he opens the door, Red's mother is sitting there, and she looks resigned. When Blue asks where Red is, she sighs heavily and tells him "He left. I haven't seen him for a long time. I think he's gone to visit another region. They say no news is good news," she pauses to look up at Blue, "but I worry about him."
For a moment, the sandy-haired boy is shocked. Vaguely, his grandfather had mentioned regions called Hoenn and Johto, and briefly he'd said things about new species of Pokémon. Could Red be hunting down those Pokémon? But how could he know of them?
A spark of desire to beat Red at this game rises up, but he shoves it down because he's done now. He doesn't want to try to defeat Red anymore, because Arceus only knows how much fighting with Red has cost him. He can accept that Red is better than him, if it helps him to move on. He thinks that allowing Red to finally win the battle in Blue's head will make him feel a little more like someone kind, someone that could be loved.
Red is confused.
He knows that the shock doesn't stem from Oak supposedly lying to him, because new species are discovered all the time. Nobody was born with the knowledge of all 150 Pokémon, they had to be discovered. Red is okay with that.
What Red feels is worthlessness, like no matter how hard he tries, there will always be someone new, something more. He can't see all of the Pokémon, because there is no all. He couldn't take down Team Rocket all by himself, as they have moved into the region of Red's new home and he sees them all over the place now. He cannot be the only champion, because there are more champions in different regions that Red is blissfully unaware of.
Red can't remember when he left his home, and he isn't keeping track of where he is going. Mostly, he walks, sometimes he and Charizard will fly.
One day, he is training, because he can be the strongest at something, right? His Eevee knocks out a wild Rattata, and suddenly it begins to glow. Red knows what is happening, but it shouldn't be. He still holds his Stones in his bag. And when the creature's glow begins to soften, its fur is pink and there is a gem on his no-longer-Eevee's head. He knows, once again, that even this extraordinary creature could be holding something from him. Fire, Water, Electric, but that was not all, no of course, because nothing is as Red thinks it is and the world is so big around him that he can't see his own reflection in the water right below him.
Red puts away his Espeon and looks up at the sky.
Blue is lonely.
Without Red to follow around, without trainers to challenge because he's too strong for beginners but no longer good enough for those ending their journey, Blue has no one to talk to, no one to challenge, nothing to do but play with his Pokémon because they deserve to feel happy now. They did their best.
He finds himself thinking about Red in the dusk light. He hasn't seen the boy since the championship, or even looked for him since that day with his mom a few weeks ago. He absently pats his Arcanine's head, wondering finally which region Red had run off to, and why? What else was he hoping to gain?
Had Red become the power-hungry young boy that Blue had been?
Red is stunned.
Three people ambush him as soon as he comes traipsing, defeated, off of the Magnet Train in Saffron City. They say that they've been looking for him for a long time, and they ask him, without prelude, if he wants to be the Viridian City gym leader.
He stares at them, particularly the woman in front, holding a clipboard.
Did they forget that Red was the Champion? Champions could not be gym leaders. Sweat begins to bead on his forehead. The people were beginning to forget who he once was; his identity and all his hard work felt like they had finally been erased by these people's words.
He finds himself thinking of Blue and his grandfather. How Professor Oak gave Blue nothing unless he'd given it to Red first. How Blue sought Red out, over and over again, with crashing tides in his earth-brown eyes begging for one victory. Red realised in that second what he'd done to Blue, because in this moment it is happening to him.
He takes his worthless Pokédex out of his pocket and slams it on the pavement before them. Takes the badge case from his belt and drops it down, too. The recruiters stare at him in shock, but this is all that Red can do.
None of these things mean anything anymore, nothing he'd done would ever matter.
Red wonders if these people know that he is the reason that Giovanni is no longer leader there. He wonders if they want him to take his place because they know he defeated Giovanni, or if they think he is resting on the same level as the former leader.
He was better. Red was better than that. He was the Champion, and no one could take that away from him. This title had to hold some meaning. There had to be a reason that he had stolen away Blue's dream, a reason he had conquered all those people.
He feels a bitter resentment fill his throat, and he calls out his Charizard. Climbing onto the creature's back, he says, "Speak with Blue Oak of Pallet Town," and then he murmurs "Fly," to his Pokémon and leaves the collectors alone in their shocked silence.
Blue is offended.
Of course the position was offered to Red first! Everything that Blue gets, he gets through Red. Familiar resentment fills his nerves but he shoves it away, taking the job because he has to show Red that he could do anything. Anything Red had been given, Blue could take, too. Red was not better than him, they were equals, and Blue bets that if Red had been Champion first, he would have overtaken the boy's throne.
"Here, you may want to give these to Red's family," the woman in front says, and she hands Blue a pokedex and a badge case. Red had thrown away everything he'd stolen from Blue, like it didn't matter?
He remembers he doesn't want to be angry anymore. As the recruiters walk away with their signed contract in tow, Blue remembers that in order to recover from what Red did to him, he needs to cut off their rivalry in his head.
After all, Red had clearly cut everyone else off. Fame must have been getting to his head.
Red is cold.
He decides that the solitude of Mount Silver is what he needs to clear his head. He had considered resigning as Champion, but the title was something he held close. The one thing that could not be added on to; you couldn't add more badges, more Pokémon, to the title of Kanto Champ. Champion was champion, and if anything sustained worth in Red's mind -in Red's life- it is knowing that he is the victor. He is the strongest. He is on top of the entire region.
His Pokémon stand by his side and they work, and he works too, and when he looks into the eyes of his friends, he sees the weathered experience and determination. They worked harder than he did to get here.
The seven of them train day after day, and Red knows that up here, on the peak of Mount Silver, no one can take the title away from him and his pokémon.
Gold is just a kid.
But Professor Elm gives him a Pokémon of his very own, and Professor Oak gives him a Pokédex, and he knows he's destined for great things. Everywhere he goes, people speak highly of him, kindly to him, and he is nice to them in return because he is giving back to the world for what it gave him.
Every Tohjo trainer knows of the Pokémon League in Kanto's Indigo Plateau. Only the best of the best can defeat the trainers there. (The eleven-year old thinks it is unfair that Johto doesn't get their own League, but the Plateau is directly on the border, so one could argue...)
Gold believes that people are tricking him. Everywhere he goes, people speak of a Champion named Lance, who the child hopes to meet someday. But as he travels further along, he hears talk of a young champion, of two. He hears of the simultaneously youngest and shortest-lived champion, who most people treat as a laughing stock.
But more importantly, he hears of the dark Champion, only twelve when he snatched the title from beneath the noses of both the youngest and whoever had been there before. This boy had not been heard of since a few months after his triumph, and many people assumed he had died.
Gold grins widely at the woman talking in the Pokémon centre, taking her words as a challenge.
After all, who wouldn't know if the Champ himself was dead?
Blue is scared.
Legitimately scared.
Since becoming Gym Leader of Viridian city two months ago, nobody had heard from Red. Realising that Red was no better that Blue was made him realise that he would not have turned down the opportunity to be champion and a gym leader were he given the chance. Red was an ambitious boy, and he would not give up on his quest unless he was in danger.
Blue walks around on certain occasions, asking about his former rival. He purchases a Pokégear, and mostly uses it to check with aspiring trainers he'd met to see if they knew where the Champion was, in case they wanted to battle with him.
All of them respond with "Lance is still in the Indigo Plateau."
Blue can't help but get angry again. After taking everything, Red couldn't even be bothered to step up to the plate and take responsibility for the title he had earned? What kind of Champion let himself be forgotten by everyone?
And memories fly back to hit Blue in his face. He realises that he knows that Red had not been forgotten on purpose. Red was the kind of boy to seek betterment, to make himself feel proud again and again of what he could do. Red would let others challenge him, not only to be selfless and let them try, but to feel the victory resound deep in his bones.
Blue shakes thoughts of Red from his mind, but they come back, steadily.
He knows that something is very wrong with his friend.
Red is at peace.
He should not be.
The food he manages to collect all goes to his pokémon. The sleep he gets is fitful, and although he should be training his team, he finds himself working harder than the pokémon do. Because Oak's words echo in his head at all times. He knows that his team can only be great if he, too, is great. And vice versa.
Red has to fight to become as strong as he wants to be, and though his pets are worried for him, they listen to whatever he tells them. Their loyalty to him does not die.
No challengers ever come to fight him. He thinks it is because they know that he is unbeatable. He can take a rest from training so hard, but that doesn't mean that he will.
Red holds his title close to his heart.
His pokémon curl around him to keep him warm. All that they've worked for...
It gets shattered when a Pidgey comes to him in the dead of night while he rests, and in its claws it holds a letter.
A letter saying that his title has been revoked, as nobody has been able to find or challenge him for years. The title had been given to Lance, the dragon trainer.
Anger roars in Red's chest for a moment until he realises that he doesn't care. If he cared, he would go home. If he cared, he would challenge Lance.
Instead he feeds the Pidgey and he goes to sleep. He plans to continue training in the morning.
Blue is relieved.
His Pidgey returns after weeks of searching, and its only instructions had been "find this boy." When Blue asks where the bird had finally found Red, it gestures towards the foggy grey mountain rising far in the distance.
But once he knows that Red is alive, a weighing sense of uncertainty washes over him. He doesn't know what he wanted from Red. The letter Blue had sent him had been truthful, but not in every respect. Legally, Red was still Champion. He hadn't specified that.
Blue decides to talk to Red's mother to find out if he should be concerned. Seeing as he and Red grew apart in the time leading up to the beginning of their journeys, maybe Blue didn't know as much about the silent boy as he imagined he did.
As he locks up his gym, he ponders why he cares about the well-being of his former companion. Technically, the two of them had been rivals since Blue turned his back on their friendship when they were young.
Still, he knocks on Red's mom's door and goes inside.
She looks all right, considering her son has been missing for months. She invites him inside and presses a mug of steaming tea into his hands. When he asks why Red hasn't been home, she stares at him steadily before she answers.
"He misses being Champion."
But he is still the champion. There is no way Red's mom could have known about the letter so soon.
"Everyone knew him, you know?" She looks steadily into her tea. Blue finds that he cannot drink his. "And suddenly the roar quieted down and he wasn't... important anymore."
She sniffles, and Blue is taken aback because he hadn't meant to make her cry.
"I know my son," she says softly, "and I know he's upset. He worked so hard..." She sighs, and then she looks up with a bright attention, like she had not been crying at all.
"What brings you here, Blue?" She asks, and the boy thinks that that is a dumb question because he'd answered it by asking about Red. "The two of you haven't been friends since Arceus knows when."
Oh. Right.
"Don't get me wrong, you're a nice boy, but why the sudden concern? I heard you're leader of Viridian? Isn't that good enough?"
She thinks Blue still wants to fight Red. He lets out an irritated sigh, but he won't get upset because of course, everyone knows him as Red's rival. The boy who could never beat Red no matter how hard he tried. That thought still sends shards of worthlessness sailing into his mind, but he shoves that down, for now.
Nobody knows that Blue is trying to change this.
"Red reminds me of me." He says softly, and he wants Red's mother to believe him. "I would've hated to be forgotten. I would have hated to work so hard just to be pushed away." He doesn't mention that that is all his own life has ever been.
He searches for his next words under Red's mother's gaze, and suddenly it strikes him like a blow to the face, why he cares so much about Red.
It's guilt.
Red is okay.
He beats a challenger, a young girl. She doesn't know who he is, but that's okay, because he knows.
Red knows who he is.
Blue is crying.
He wants to destroy something in his frustration. Instead he sits next to Red's bed and he continues to stare at the photo on the wall. The two of them, Red and Blue, eight years old and posing like, well, children. They are holding pokéballs that Blue's grandpa had given them, and they hold them up to the camera with pride.
Blue tossing Red aside had been both the boy's first and last rejection.
They were friends for so long, but Blue had been so angry at Red's privilege and the affection he received... He was just so jealous and the fact that the silent boy had seemed not to appreciate any of it just hurt him more.
Blue never thought, that every time he pushed Red away, every time he got upset, vowed to beat him, that it would be affecting the older boy.
He had been trying to cram Red into the hole of rejection and being ignored that he had pulled himself out of. He tried to use Red to fill the hole so he'd never fall in again.
Well, now Red had fallen in. And Blue had been the one to push him by leaving him behind on the Championship podium and never looking back.
Everything Red worked for -his Badges, his Champion title, defeating Team Rocket, and a rebuilt relationship with Blue- had been forgotten.
Everything he had ever had done to him had now been done to Red, whether at his own hand or that of someone else.
Blue has to go speak with Red.
But he is afraid.
What they have is damaged. On both sides. Both of them were selfish. They used each other.
Red used Blue as a training block, an average to climb above, a goal to surpass.
Blue used Red as a means to an end, someone to throw under the bus, the 'murder to make him a famous criminal'.
He's not ready to talk.
Gold is elated.
Champion!
He replays the word over and over in his head, says it aloud, drapes medals on his Pokémon and parades around the Johto region like he is the king, because he is.
He took down Team Rocket! He blew through the Elite Four!
He laughs to himself as he flies his Noctowl back home. He throws open the door to his house and he celebrates with his mom. He talks to Professor Elm and recounts his adventure to the entire lab.
He's the champion! He's a hero!
He flies down to Olivine City. Why stop? Why end it here?
He climbs aboard the S.S. Aqua with pure, unbridled excitement. He can take Kanto just as he took Johto. His adventure is just beginning! Imagine being champion of two regions!
As he trains with other trainers aboard the ship, he asks them about Kanto. He searches for all the information it'll take to work his way up to the Eighth Gym, and higher! Who said he couldn't fight the Elite Four again?
He leaps off the boat once the cruise is finished. He mops the floor with Lt. Surge's Pokémon in Vermilion, his first Kanto city. People eye the badges he keeps pinned to the front of his hoodie as he trails down roads with his Pokémon enjoying the open air beside him.
He leaps for joy at random intervals, hugging his Typhlosion when they're alone because he's so excited to be a winner, so happy to be the champion, so overjoyed that he, a kid from New Bark, was rapidly becoming the world's best Pokémon trainer.
Blue is asleep.
On a pile of papers in the back of his closed gym.
But he is startled awake by his Pokégear ringing, and he finds out quickly that it is around three in the afternoon. The call is probably from some impatient trainer who didn't understand that running a gym and being 16 at the same time is difficult.
The caller ID says Blaine.
Red is slipping.
He's dropped every thought he'd ever had.
Red has one lasting drive: stay strong enough to stay Champion.
He trains every day and he does not stop.
He gives his Pokémon his battle earnings and they, aboard Charizard, are the ones who bring supplies. Red only means for them to feed and heal themselves at the base of the mountain, but they bring him things anyway. Food and bandages and repels for nighttime.
Red loves his Pokémon for always remembering to think of him. He can't express his gratitude for them putting up with his training regime, his selfishness, his putting his wants almost over their needs-
Red shakes memories of his journey from his mind and hugs Pikachu close, basking in Charizard's flames and listening to the Pokémon talk to one another.
He catches his Espeon's gaze.
Gold is on a roll!
But when he pulls ashore on Cinnabar Island, he is disappointed to see the crumbled rocks and shattered cliff faces. The volcano near the top of the island is covered in ash. The Pokémon Centre is closed.
Gold takes a walk around, hoping that nobody is hurt, and that the gym is operational. His feet slide over dust and rocks and debris.
In a corner, by a ledge, there is a boy. Gold finds that there is nowhere else on the island that he can access, so he approaches the boy, slowly, to ask where the gym is. As he nears him, however, he realises that he knows this boy. He's seen him.
Blue! The former champion!
He drops his gaze quickly, feeling humbled, and a blush rises to his face. This boy is Gold's predecessor, his elder. He continues to approach.
Blue looks like there's something wrong with him. Gold wonders if this was the former Champion's home.
The older boy's mouth twitches, and he rests his hand on the rock face.
Blue is not blind.
He can see the shuffling figure approaching him from the ocean fog and he can tell that this boy knows he is a gym leader, head bowed in some sort of respect.
He still ignores him in favour of the rock. It's cool, despite having been a mess of molten rock but a week and a half ago. He remembers his first trip to this island. Blaine gave him a hard battle and chastised him about how he treated his Pokémon. Just like everyone else.
He sighs and the boy stops.
"Who are you?"
"My name is Gold," The boy reports breathily.
"My name's Blue," he says, although the look on Gold's face betrays that he'd alredy known that. "I used to be the Kanto Champion," he brags, and the boy's eyes flash with recognition again, "but it was short-lived, thanks to Red."
Gold looks like he's just had the world handed to him, and in his silence Blue understands that the kid had already known of Red's existence, and that he knew that Red was Champion. Desparation instead of the old familiar anger wells in his chest. Why can't anybody look at him and not see his rival? He didn't want to be known through Red. He wanted a flare of confusion in Gold's eyes, but that wasn't what he got.
He doesn't realise he's speaking until he's halfway through a sentence, and his emotions about this place choke his words and the young boy just stands there, listening.
"We can go on winning and losing in Pokémon, but if nature so much as twitches," he moves his hand from the rock and presses it to his face, "we can be overwhelmed in a second." Gold stands patiently, and he looks a little worried. "That's just the way it is."
Blue is not a sentimentalist, but there's still pain rising up at the thought of the piece of his journey that's been burned. He wonders if anyone died here, if anybody lost someone that they care about because of circumstances they could not prevent.
As is standard, Blue's mind wanders to Red, and how both of them could never have prevented others from fogetting about them.
How he couldn't have been able to dictate whether Red was to come out on top.
He notices, slowly, that he himself remembers his life through his former rival just like everyone else.
"But anyways!" He cuts himself off. If he's not going to make peace with Red, he's not going to think about him either. "I'm still a Trainer!"
The boy's storm-grey eyes light up and Blue wonders if he was even listening. He waits for the kid to say something, but he doesn't. He simply searches Blue's face for the words that he's not saying.
He prompts the kid for his badges. His nervous glance flickers to the Mantine in the water he'd been surfing on, and then he proudly points to the glimmering objects pinned to his damp sweater. Blue is impressed by the kid's determination, as he has all eight Johto badges, and six from Kanto. The Champion's Badge from Johto glimmers above all of them. But he hasn't beat Blaine.
"You're not strong enough to challenge me," Blue concludes. He does this now, to weed out over-excited novice trainers who get upset with him when they don't win. The excitement leaves Gold's face, but it is immediately replaced by resolution.
"Okay!" He says, and Blue is surprised by how young he sounds. A young champion, trying his best to become the leader, be the best of the best. Blue can see in this kid's eyes how badly he wants this, and he resists the urge to tell the boy to go back to the Indigo Plateau, stay there, and let people challenge him.
Keep his legacy alive.
Don't let anyone surpass him.
But all too soon, the boy is gone, and Blue can't yet remind him not to make the mistakes that he and his rival did.
Red is determined.
He worked for this title and he will keep it.
A record with one track.
He doesn't want to try his hand in another region. That wasn't his dream, that wasn't what he wanted, it's not what he's working for.
His thoughts are empty apart from the memories of what it took him to get here.
Gold is ready.
The final gym.
He takes in the details of the architecture, and when he meets up with Cameron the Photographer, he and his team have their picture taken before the Viridian Gym's doors.
Taking a deep breath, he pushes his way in, and he takes out the practice trainers with ease, letting the floor puzzle spin him back to the exit for a quick trip to the Pokémon Centre before he steps back up on the dizzying plates. They throw him all over the place until he reaches the final lighted tile that places him square in front of...
Blue.
Blue is not surprised.
The kid only took a day after their meeting to get here. His eyes sparkle with recognition, his smile shows nothing but excitement. Blue wonders, honestly, what it took this boy to get here.
"Blue!" He says, and there's a hint of finality in his voice, like he thinks that Blue himself is the final obstacle between him and the Kanto championship. "I challenge you for the eighth gym badge!"
His heart seizes as he recognises the same vigor in Gold's cry that was in his own each time he challenged someone. As he sees the same energy on Gold's face that Red displayed whenever he fought.
Blue is not going to be beaten by this boy. There's a pokedex on his belt, 15 badges on his shirt. There's evidence all over Gold's body that he is the next Red, the next prodigy.
He accepts Gold's challenge, looking the child in his eyes, adrenaline rising to his throat. Both of them have worked hard to get where they are. If this kid beats him, he will have let another promising young trainer slip through his fingers because he wasn't strong enough.
Blue sees Red in this boy's eyes, and he wants to save him.
Red is...
Red is not sure what he is.
Blue is trying.
Trying to force Gold back in his journey, make him wait, because he doesn't want to lose another one, he doesn't want Gold to be forgotten or overthrown like all the champions he's ever known.
Too young. They were all too young.
There's a connection between Gold and his Typhlosion that Blue and his Arcanine can't wedge their way between. The kid loves his Pokémon, and they trust each other. They display the bond of lifelong best friends, and Blue knows that he's beat long before the volcano Pokémon throws his Arcanine to the ground. The dog tries to get up for its trainer, but it can't.
Gold grins up at Blue, panting hard, and a huge grin breaks across his face.
He's won.
Blue's lost him.
Gold is exhilarated.
He can understand the gym leader's disappointment, and the cockiness in his voice when he says that he won't lose again. His tone is fierce when he tells Gold that he musn't lose to anyone until they get to battle again. He laughs, and Blue smiles at him, claps him on the back.
He turns to step back onto the spinning floor tiles, but his Pokegear rings and he stops.
It's Professor Oak!
Blue is frustrated.
He has to leave his past behind. He has to escape this. He has to leave behind the horrible feeling of having lost everything, of being second best. He has to shed his life up to now, he has to start completely over.
He listens to Gold speak with Professor Oak, and the boy recounts exactly how the battle went and Blue can hear his grandfather's disapproving voice and he's sick of it.
He's sick of second best, sick of prodigies, sick of being overthrown again and again but he knows that if Red and his journey had never happened he'd feel different. He still harbors a sickening amount of anger toward Red and because of that, he can't ever be beaten without feeling the weight of his life of being beaten again and again no matter how hard he tried.
Blue's forgotten about his worry for Red and Gold.
Blue lets his mind focus on worry for himself.
As soon as Gold has packed his Pokeballs and begun his walk down to Pallet Town, Blue hops onto his Pidgeot, apologising for not healing it first, and flies down to his house, hoping to get there before the kid did.
He pushes open his door, and his sister turns, startled, from where she'd been standing with a basket of care supplies in her arms.
"Hey, kid brother!" She greets him, placing her supplies on the bottom step and walking over to hug him. "What brings you here?"
He looks her in the eye, the only person who ever saw him for who he was, the only person he could never push away, and he starts to cry.
Red is silent.
He beats an impulsive, starry-eyed young trainer, a girl, who vows to come back.
He sits down in the snow and dangles his feet off the mountain's edge.
His fingers are purple, his eyes empty.
A smirk makes its way up to his face.
He won.
Gold is excited.
His friend Lyra is playing around in the grass, adorned in wintry garb, by Mt. Silver when he heads up to train, having wasted no time in flying up here after being granted permission. He didn't know she'd been given passage here, but he greets her and she, in turn, recounts her tale of climbing to the top.
She says there's a boy up there, and he's tough. Much stronger than anyone she'd ever fought before. He snorts, and she presses on, earnest. She insists that Gold had better not fight him until he's sure he's ready, and then she hops onto a Noctowl, waves goodbye to him, and heads down to Goldenrod City.
He snorts again once he's gone, and looks his Typhlosion in the eye. The beast grumbles softly at him, and he pats its neck.
He heeds Lyra's warning, though, and sets up a makeshift camp next to the water by the desolate Pokémon Centre so he can train here.
Blue is indignant.
He doesn't let himself cry for long, and by the time his sister has a kettle on the stove, his face is dry and the telltale red splotches from the tears are gone.
She asks him what's wrong, and he frowns, jams his hands in his jacket pockets.
"I'm sick of it, Daisy," he growls, and she prompts him with a look, "I'm sick of being beaten and I'm sick of second best. I work hard for nothing, all the damn time."
She just looks at him, like she wants him to go on. He heaves a sigh and continues, because he knows she won't answer until he says it all.
"I'm also pretty worried for Red, because he's gone missing. I know him, I know this is wrong. And this kid, Gold? I'm worried he's headed up Red's path."
Daisy smiles just a bit at the mention of Gold's name. "The Gold boy, he came in here a little while earlier. We had tea."
Blue gives her a scrutinising look, because this is not what he came to talk about. He doesn't even know where she got this from.
"He's a nice kid. He looks up to you, Blue."
...huh?
"But he beat me," Blue deadpans, "why would he look up to someone like me?"
"Because you kept going."
The kettle whistles, but the siblings ignore it to stare at each other.
"Blue, you need company. You spend too much time by yourself, too much time thinking about yourself."
Blue screws up his face at her, but she smiles, lost in thought. She walks slowly over to the stove and flicks it off, ceasing the high shrieking.
"You always did, but now, now all you think about are the times you failed. You used to think about how you'd succeed, Blue, how far you'd go!"
"I'm still going!" He interrupts, indignant. Daisy looks up, a surprised smile on her face.
"You're a Pokémon trainer! You always have been. Your drive is to keep going. You need to always keep going. Other people may not know everything about you, Blue, but I do, and you do. Both of us know you never stopped moving forwards. You are always getting better. You're not working hard for nothing. There's always going to be someone better than you, but you are always going to be better than someone else."
She hands him a grey mug of tea, and sits him down at the table. He stares into the murky hot water, frowning.
"You are always the best at something, kid brother." Blue scrapes his nails across the smooth surface of the mug he's holding, denying his sister's words in his head. "Even better than Red."
Blue's eyes snap upwards at that. He'd come here to tell Daisy he felt like Red was better than him, and to make him feel better, she says the opposite. His expression tightens.
"I mean it, Blue. Maybe you lost to him, but you still kept going. Where is Red now?"
His hands are beginning to gain some colour against the hot mug. He shakes his head. "I don't know."
"Trust yourself," she says softly, pushing his mug closer to him. "You're young. Life goes on, kiddo, don't let anyone else stop you."
Blue licks his lips and finally takes a sip of his tea. Daisy only told him things he'd told himself already, but maybe he needed to hear it from someone else. He knows fully well that all he can do is let go of the past and look to the future.
He slams his mug down, hot liquid sloshing over the edges to meet his fingers.
"I have to talk to Red and Gold," he says urgently, standing up and heading to the door. "Thanks, Daze."
Daisy watches him with round eyes and a vague smile. "Go get 'em, kid brother."
Gold is training.
Hard.
He's backtracked to the Elite Four, fighting them twice over before calling it a night. He requests sheepishly to sleep in the Pokémon centre, and Nurse Joy is more than happy to let him use some of the beds in the back after healing his Pokémon fully.
He curls up with his team on a bed in the moonlit bedroom, breathing deeply in time with his faithful pets. He's proud of himself.
He wakes up the next day, thanks the nurse, and takes off to Pallet Town, hoping to talk to Professor Oak about other ways to level up. But his Noctowl sets him down outside Red's house and he decides to check in on the Champion's mother to see where he might be. He pushes open the door, and Red's mom smiles a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. Gold can't find it in himself to ask where Red is because he thinks the woman knows what he's going to say, and she brings up her son's absence right away. Gold has to duck out quietly because the feeling in the house is heavy, sad.
He doesn't like it.
Instead he walks over to Blue's house, and checks for Daisy. She's at the table like always, and invites him in for tea, like always. He lets her massage his Umbreon (again), and when she's done, she pipes up.
"Would you like my kid brother's number?" She asks, and Gold's hand comes to a stop from where he'd been petting the dark-furred fox. "He could use some company."
Her eyes shimmer with what looks like mischief, but Gold can't say no because he knows having a Leader's number means rematches! Plus, Gold likes Blue. The older trainer reminds him of himself.
He registers Blue's number with a thanks and a smile, and then heads out to chat with Daisy's grandfather.
Blue is drunk.
What an idiot he is.
As he plops himself down in the soft chair in the back of his gym, he knows he shouldn't have done it, but he'd heard people say that it could erase your problems for a while and that was all he'd wanted.
He hasn't forgotten anything.
This is not fun for him, he doesn't feel a surge of bravery compelling him to finally talk to Red, he doesn't feel a wave of fogetfulness brushing off his past.
He feels every last regret that he owns, and he feels anger at himself, for not letting go, at Red, for letting go of too much, at Gold, for moving too fast.
His Pokegear rings.
He answers it with a "hello," becoming fully aware of the slur in his voice.
"Blue?" Tch. It's Gold, and Blue can hear the excitement in his voice fade in that one syllable. "Are you okay?"
"Whatever," he snaps back, upset with this kid, "Don't worry about me!"
"You sound... upset."
"I'm doing peachy over here!"
"Oh. Okay, well, I was wondering-"
"If it's not Sunday night, I'm not available," he interrupts, head spinning. "Call then or forget about it!"
He hangs up on the kid, and against his better judgement, drinks more of whatever Giovanni had left behind in the gym.
He curls his arms around his knees and struggles to focus his vision. He still doesn't feel any better. He's still aware of the aching urge to rescue his rival from isolation, and he still can't bring himself to do it.
Red was an idiot, Blue decides, and I was an idiot.
Blue misses his rival.
Maybe talking to Red, working this out, was the key to letting go. It was time both of them moved on from their pasts.
Blue picks up his 'gear, intent upon calling Red, his fuzzy brain dialing the first familiar name on the lisst. As the phone rings, he realises that Red doesn't have a 'gear, so he must have called-
"Blue? You okay?"
He wants to unload his problems onto Gold, maybe that will make the resentment in his head give way to determination.
"I'm Blue," he confirms, and a gust of wind blows into his ear, like Gold's in a breezy place. "Man, this guy called Red brought me down in a heartbeat." He'd meant to say more, talk about how he was brought down every time, but his mouth moved on. "I haven't seen him in a long time..." he trails off, tears burning the corners of his eyes that would never have been there if he were sober. He misses his friend, above all else, he wants Red back, he needs Red, he needs a friend, someone to talk to, damn it!
"I wonder," he goes on when Gold remains silent, "where he is and what he's up to." He wonders if Red's moved from Mt. Silver in the long time Blue's taken to work up the courage to go and see him.
"Are you alright?" Gold asks quietly, and Blue licks his lips, not sure if he's okay or not. He tries to picture Gold in his head, but he keeps getting blurred images of Red, whose face he'd forgotten after all this damn time. Years.
"Come to think of it," he answers in a hoarse whisper, "you look a little bit like Red."
The face in his mind splits into two seperate ones, Gold and Red, two trainers with the same drive, the same path. Tears trail down his face, land on the floor below him. The space on the wall he's looking at blurs into itself. He's tired.
"Yeah, you do. Just... just a little bit." He chokes on a sob. Embarrassed that Gold might have heard him, he signs off ("Whatever.") and hangs up. He drops the 'gear, rests his head back, lets the stupid tears fall freely, lets the sobs rack his body until he falls asleep.
Gold is more than confused.
"Who was that?" Silver asks from in front of him, arm resting on the rail of the barge in the Dragon's Den. Gold hooks the 'gear on the strap of his bag and sighs, trying to disregard the Gym Leader's drunken crying. He'd thought Blue ws younger than drinking age, but he must have been wrong?
He knows the Leader is only three years older than him, but he lets it go.
"Viridian's gym leader," he answers Silver, and the red-haired boy snorts.
"Who's Red?" He asks, and Gold gives him that answer too. "Did he say you looked alike because you're both Champion, then?"
"I dunno," the brunet snaps back. "We gonna battle or what?"
"Hi, Gold! And... you."
Silver sighs irritably at the interruption. "I guess not."
Red is hurting.
It's too cold, the air too thin.
He keeps his Pokémon as healthy as possible.
They worry about him.
He worries about them.
It's a fair trade.
His medal shines bright against his frozen fingers.
Champion.
Charizard lights him a fire.
He throws the medal into it.
What is he?
He realises all too late this was a mistake.
He made a mistake.
Too late.
He's been gone for too long to fix anything.
He doesn't want to leave.
He stands above the life he once had.
He feels hollow.
Blue is waiting.
In Saffron's Fighting Dojo, where he'd agreed to rematch Gold. He'd already given the kid a badge, so he figured maybe he could repair a bit of his damaged pride. He switched out most of his team for different Pokémon, and now he was just waiting for the other boy to show up.
Gold barges into the Dojo with a determined look in his eyes, and Blue knows that look.
"Have you rematched the other leaders?" He asks smoothly.
"Every last one," Gold says bravely, "you're the final challenge. Again." He adds.
"Well, good," Blue snorts, "thanks for coming to lose to me!"
Gold whips his first Pokeball off his belt. "You wish!"
The battle begins.
Gold is proud.
Blue looks shaken, out of breath. He laughs. "My scare tactic doesn't scare you at all!"
Gold grins at Blue, whose smile fades slowly and drags Gold's own with it. "What is it?"
"Kid, you gotta promise me something," the Leader says, his confident, overbearing stance suddenly folding into an awkward one. His brown eyes train themselves on the dojo floor, his hand moving up to rest behind his neck.
"Sure," Gold shrugs, concerned about the older boy's mood swings lately.
"Things get rough when you're Champ, okay? People will forget about you, you won't be famous for long. Get it?"
The younger boy nods, watching his companion nervously.
"You can't leave, okay? You can't just disappear. You won't be Champ forever, you can't. Someone will beat you one day, and that's okay. You can't ever stop. You're a kid. Your life is more than this, alright?"
Gold screws up his face. "Blue, are you okay?"
The leader runs a hand through his spiky hair, exhaling huffily. "I'm fine," he growls, "I just want you to be aware, yeah?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Be serious!" Blue snaps harshly, stepping forwards and forcing Gold to step back.
"Okay! Okay! I understand, I do!"
Blue takes a shuddering breath. "Okay, then get outta here. Go on!"
Red is watching the storm.
There's a thick layer of silver fog that blocks his view of the towns, so he watches the snow swirling in elaborate patterns that never fail to amaze him. He's eating some berries that his Pokémon brought for him. He has to finish them before they freeze and he can't eat them.
He's a bit tired. He's bored and lonely.
Where are his challengers?
Why did he come here?
So he could never lose?
He'd wanted to clear his head, but he's filled it with fog.
Gold is prepared.
The base of the mountain is windy, but warm. His Typhlosion and his Ampharos rest by his side, and he moves Mantine's pokeball to the front of his belt so that he's ready in case of water. He administers a repel to the three of them, and then ducks inside.
When he enters the cave, he finds that he doesn't really need Flash, but the echoing of the wind frightens him just a little so he allows the tall yellow Pokémon to remain outside its ball. He turns his head and is met by a glowing pool of rippling water. With a sigh, he puts his companions back in their capsules and releases Mantine. Together they Surf the pools and, trying to avoid being deafened by the crushing sounds, climb the surging waterfalls.
He stops of on bit of land after bit of land, ducking deeper into the mountain with a tight grip on the escape rope wound around his shoulder. He stumbles across items that must have been left here by other trainers, and shudders at the thought of why the items might have fallen.
There's one chamber that makes the cold dampness of rock and mud disappear into a porwerful warmth, and when Gold peers over the rocky edge, he sees a deep pit in which a flaming bird rests with its head under its wing. Were he not here to challenge the trainer resting at the summit, he would have slid down and fought the bird. Figuring it would remain here, asleep, Gold registers its image into his pokedex and vows to remember to show Professor Oak, and Blue, if the former champion was interested.
He backs quietly out of the chamber and continues on.
Typhlosion lets him rest on its back, and Gold is grateful as they explore the winding second floor with interest, smashing rocks and gathering items. They reach an exit that leads to nothing but a large cliff, which Typhlosion scales with great effort. Gold switches Umbreon to the front of his party, letting Typhlosion rest before the battle.
Outside the mountain, Gold administers another repel, not the least bit interested in having to climb this mountain again if his team was gradually worn down by wild Pokémon.
The breeze is warm, and Gold can see down the mountain to the Pokémon Centre at its base, and if he looks out farther, he can see his home, he can see Cinnibar Island in the foggy distance and he can see the Pokémon League. He likes the view from up here. He keeps walking.
As he goes higher, small flakes of snow begin to drift down and land on his face. He pulls his sweater tighter as the temperature of the wind begins to decrease and its speed increases. Chunks of hail start to fall around him and he picks Umbreon up and cradles it so that the ice can't touch it. The layer of snow on the ground starts to thicken and he tightens his cap on his head so the wind can't blow it off. He needs a jacket. He looks down the mountain. It's no use going back now.
His feet start to lose feeling and his face hurts. He remembers Blue's words: "We can go on winning and losing in Pokémon, but if nature so much as twitches we can be overwhelmed in a second." He wonders if this is what the older boy meant. He's not even sure the mystery trainer is still on the mountain's summit. Maybe he's not that strong, and Lyra was weak. He should go home.
Even as he thinks this he moves on. He climbs and climbs and then meets a passageway. Maybe its a cave he can duck into and rest. He heads in. It's a slope. When he looks up, there's nothing left to climb. He looks down at Umbreon, who looks overwhelmed. He puts it away. He starts to climb.
There are abrasions on his face from chunks of hail. His fingers are numb, his eyes screwed near shut. What a fool he'd be to turn back now. He keeps trudging.
He misses a step and slips, bracing himself to slide all the way down to the cave mouth, but he doesn't move. He's on flat ground. When he looks up, there's a boy in a short-sleeved shirt perched in a lookout position on the edge of the summit.
He stands up.
"Hey," he chokes out, and the boy turns around, a stunned look on his face.
And though his eyes are dull, his skin pale and purpling, his face sunken and less youthful than he's seen, Gold recognises this boy from magazines in the Pokémon Centre tabloids asking if he'd died.
"R-Red?"
Red is shocked.
Who is this boy, how does he know his name?
Red remembers that he is the champion, but most people don't anymore.
Were there still people that knew him, down home?
Your mom, his mind reminds him, Professor Oak, all those people you saved, Blue.
His hand flies to the items on his belt, and the young boy mimics his actions.
The child is here to battle.
Red smirks.
He can still do this.
Fire blazes past the two boys.
Water blasts forth and freezes to snow and ice as it flies by.
The children and their pets are blasted with chunks of hail that the mountain supplies freely.
Leaves freeze and die on their way to their target.
Blasts of electricity barely miss the weak boys, who are not immune.
Blood is drawn.
The younger of the two yells commands, frantic, while the older makes tiny motions with his hands.
The Pokémon, faithful to their trainers, want to win for all the same reasons.
The snow is scorched away in some places, filled with debris in others.
The younger starts to cry from the pain of the cold and the stress of not wanting to lose this, not wanting all his work to be for nothing.
Blue's words echo in his head, "you won't be Champion forever."
Gold is going to continue to fight.
Because he wants to earn this.
He wants to know that he can be the best, not that he can stay the best.
He stares into Red's hollow crimson eyes and knows that he doesn't want this for himself.
If Red loses, it will break him.
If Gold loses, he will try again.
He screams above the howling of the wind. His Typhlosion makes a hard swipe at Red's Pikachu, and then blasts it with flames. The mouse responds with a deafening crack of thunder and a hard flash of lightning that hits Typhlosion dead-on.
The Pokémon cry with the effort of grappling, of spending their energy. Snow falls so hard that the ground is still white where Typhlosion burns it away.
Pikachu is sent sailing through the air to land at Red's feet and then is shot with a blast of flame that warms Gold's face.
The mountain settles with a deafening silence, the boys' heavy breathing the only thing to be heard over the wind.
Red says nothing.
He drops to his knees.
Gold stands over him, tears freezing on his face.
"Red..." he begins, but the older boy doesn't look up.
Gold rubs his cold face, tries to calm his shaking voice.
"Red," he tries again, but when he looks up, the boy is gone.
Icy fear fills Gold's veins.
He looks at his Typhlosion.
"Let's go home," he whispers.
Blue is waiting.
For something.
Anything.
His 'gear rings and he answers it without checking who it was.
"Hello?" He barks into it, grateful for the distraction from the gym's paperwork.
A shaky voice, almost obscured by the crackling noise of wind, greets him on the other side.
"Hey, Blue," Gold murmurs shakily, "I won."
Gold is relieved.
He made it safely down the mountain and he flew his injured Noctowl to Viridian, where he planned to dip into the Pokémon Centre but is instead intercepted by Blue rushing at him, a surprised expression on his face.
"Hey, kid!"
He forces a smile, though he's tired and in pain, frozen blood and tears still cold on his face.
"Jeez, you look like hell." Blue informs him, and he rolls his eyes. "Come on back to the Gym, we'll get ya fixed up."
"Well, actually, I was going to-" Gold points to the Pokémon Centre, but Blue waves him off.
"I can help you guys out. C'mon, you gotta tell me about the battle! It looks like it was one helluva fight."
Blue is impressed.
But not surprised.
He closes the gym, takes the kid into the back to sit down. He deposits the boy's Pokémon into the Healing Station in the back corner, courtesy of (begging) his Grandfather. He drops down in front of him, wipes the blood spears off the abrasions on the kid's face with some stinging antiseptic.
"So you defeated Red, huh? That's great!" He licks his lips to mask the question he really needs to ask, and presses bandages to Gold's face in silence.
"Yeah," Gold mumbles, flexing his fingers, "sure is." He sounds guilty.
"So, uh," Blue tries to sound confident, stepping back from him and sitting on the floor across from him. "How is the old Champ?"
Gold's eyes widen as he looks up at Blue, but he can tell it's not from surprise. "Blue, he was sick," he blurts out, shooting nervous glances towards his still-healing Pokémon, "he's been up there too long! And when I won..." he trails off, looks straight at Blue again with wide, scared eyes. "I-I mean I dunno where he went! I dunno where he could have went, I-"
"Hey, kid, calm down!" Blue shouts finally, although his insides churn with some sort of nervous longing. "I'm sure he's fine. Found a new spot to chill and train, I guess. He lost his original Championship to Lance, unofficially, so I guess it's gonna take him a bit to adjust to actually losing the Championship."
Gold's eyes are narrow now with disbelief, but he bites his lip and forces a relaxed expression.
"So...?" He begins, a bit of a cocky tone to his voice. "Do ya miss being Champion?"
Blue's a little shaken by that queation, but he takes a deep breath and give the most honest answer he can.
"I did. I was pissed at Red for always beating me and makin' me feel like shit, but hey. At least I got that stupid short-lived championship. I'm still third-best in Kanto, and I'm sure I could kick the asses of the Johto wimps."
"I'm a Johto wimp," Gold snorts, "and I beat you."
"No need to rub it in," Blue snarks good-naturedly. Then he sighs.
"Alright, look. You saw what happened to Red, right?"
Gold nods, smile fading from his face.
"This whole thing since I lost the Championship has taught me one thing: Ya don't dwell on the past. Ya keep journeying. I dwelled and, not gonna lie, kid, it hit me hard. But I talked. I talked to my sister and I talked to you. I went back to how life was before, and I feel better. I can't stay in this gym for too long 'cause I start to feel like a failure again. So I go, kid. I make a life for myself outside of Red. I leave the past behind. And I need you to promise you'll do the same, yeah?"
Gold looks Blue square in his eyes and nods.
"Yeah, Blue. Maybe I'll leave my spot on the Champion's post every day like you do."
"Well it's not like you're there right now," Blue snarks at him.
"I was out kicking ass and taking names," Gold snorts back.
Blue looks like he's about to hiss back at him, but someone knocks on the Viridian Gym's doors.
"Sheesh," Blue says instead. "Wait here. Your Pokémon are probably good by now."
The kid gets up, and Blue heads to the front, irritated. He gestures to the unlit gym floor and the empty chamber. "Can't you people read?" He demands sharply, walking swiftly across his tile floor. "It's closed! I'm not even supposed to be-"
He looks up, finally, and gets a real, clear view of who is behind his sliding doors.
"Oh my Arceus," he breathes, speeding up. He turns on the Gym's power, lets the doors slide open. The boy walks in slowly and stands on the first unlit tile until Blue shuts off the power and walks over to him, taking in all of his old friend's features. "Red," he whispers, "are you okay?"
"I lost," Red breathes, voice rough and sickly, and then collapses to the Gym's floor.
Gold is frantic.
He heard Blue leave and then he didn't come back.
He's not ready to be alone again, not after Blue's speech about the downhill attitudes of Champions, not after Red's disappearance. He's thirteen, no matter how much he wants to deny it, and he's hardly ready to face the weight of his own emotions and his tough climb to Mt. Silver's summit.
His legs are weak and he stumbles on his way out of the gym, but he's let Umbreon out and the little animal is tracking Blue's trail. The trail leads straight into the Pokémon Centre, and Gold is now just offended that Blue ditched him in the back of a locked gym.
He puts away Umbreon and presses into the Centre, but the sight he sees stops him in his tracks.
"Blue! Red!" Both boys turn their heads, Red leaning on Blue's shoulder like a ragdoll.
"Hey, kid. Do me a favour and scram for a bit, yeah?" Blue asks. Gold looks around and realises the centre is empty other than Red, Blue, and the nurse. "Go tell Daisy that Red's home for me."
Gold holds Blue's gaze for a sec before nodding. "On it," he says, and leaves.
Red is warm.
He's wrapped in a blanket, slowly and shakily eating soup that the nurse gave him after chewing him out for how badly damaged his Pokémon were. Blue's yelling at him, pacing back and forth on the plush carpet before the bed.
"You're such a damn idiot," he cries, "I can't believe you flew up there and ditched your family, your friends, everyone who ever knew you! You bastard! You loved traveling! You loved improving! You took everything from me and you just let it go?"
Red sits there and drinks the too-salty broth, hearing what Blue is saying only vaguely through the staticky sound in his ears. He's back on the ground, but it doesn't feel real. He's back, arguing with his rival again but it doesn't feel like the past, it feels like a dream. He lost the championship and everything he worked towards, and he doesn't know what to do. He didn't know what to do to begin with. He's going to be famous again, but not for winning, for losing. He's a failure, defined by spending his life on a snowy mountain. He decides he's going to go back, he doesn't like the idea of being known around the world as the reclusve champion who did nothing until he lost.
"Did you never consider we might miss you?"
"You didn't."
"What?"
Red puts the empty bowl on the bedside table beside him and looks straight into Blue's surprised face. "You couldn't miss me." His voice hurts when he uses it, and he knows that it doesn't sound like it used to. "I took everything from you. My mom didn't miss me. All I did was lay around. I was nothing for years. I thought my life was the Championship. I'm nothing beyond it, nothing without it."
Blue looks a mixture of stunned and angry.
"Exactly, dumbass! Ya made a stupid mistake. A really stupid mistake. Time for you to apologise and move on. Let's go. Get your ass up, you're going to apologise to your mother."
Gold is growing fond of the taste of tea.
"I knew he just needed a friend," Daisy says, pouring MooMoo milk into her own beverage. "My brother was a bully when he was a kid. Pushed everyone away, you know? Even Red. And he always blamed it on someone else, on me, on Grandpa, and on Red."
"He gets it now, I think," Gold informs her, taking a sip of his hot drink, "he's been telling the same advice to me."
"I'm glad," Daisy murmurs softly, stirring her tea. She stares longingly into it.
"Daisy!" The door slams open and Blue barges in.
"Would you please stop slamming my door?" Daisy asks softly, looking up. Blue just scoffs, strides across the room and grabs Gold's arm.
"Hey!"
"Don't you 'hey' me, kid," Blue snaps, "I'm making sure that none of this Red nonsense happens to you."
Blue is relaxed.
The sun shines warmly on his head, and he reclines on his chair, stretching and settling down again.
"This is way better than being cooped up in that dumb gym," he mumbles aloud, folding his arms behind his head. "Dont'ch'a think, Red?"
The crimson-eyed trainer says nothing, leaning on the railing and watching the sun slowly head down toward the horizon. His Pikachu, looking properly plump again already, rests on his shoulder, ears twitching lazily.
"Hey, what'd I miss?" Gold's too-loud voice cuts through the air as he bursts through the door to the deck. Red doesn't even flinch.
"Oh, nothin'. Trying to have a conversation with this chatterbox, like usual."
Blue directs his gaze to the sky.
He wonders when they'll reach the bank of the Hoenn region. His fingers once again find the updated Pokedex that he and his companions were given by Professor Oak. They were to scope out the new region, collect more information. Their only other instruction was from Daisy, who said "Don't leave each other behind. You're not rivals, you're not champions, you're friends. This is a vacation. You're not allowed to stress anymore. Be kids."
Like his sister could stop him from challenging the Pokémon League in Hoenn. No shame in testing his skills. The look in Gold's eyes when Daisy had said it clearly stated that he was thinking the same thing.
He wasn't living in Red's shadow anymore. He wasn't second best anymore. He wasn't a reject anymore.
This was his journey, their journey.
Gold hands him some gross-looking fruity drink, and then takes one to Red, who takes it and doesn't drink it. The kid plops down in his own seat and sighs loudly and contentedly.
Blue mimics it with a sigh of his own.
Blue is his own person.
And he is going on a Pokémon journey with his best friends.