Disclaimer: I do not own in any way, shape, and/or form own Castle. This is just for fun and no profit is being made from it.

AN: This is just a quick little something that popped into my head when I was watching some old episodes and I just had to put it down. As always please don't expect perfection, otherwise you'll probably just be disappointed.

He really didn't know what to make of all this. He was lost and he knew it.

Sophia Castle nee Turner, Richard's longest standing relationship ever was for all intents and purposes a lie. Or at least that's what her former partner in the CIA was telling him anyway. He was saying that she had been a deep cover Russian agent, a relic from the Cold War, and (most of all) a traitor. Now a normal man who just happened to deeply love the woman he had ended up marrying, who could easily say that she had been the love of his life not even an hour ago, and who could honestly admit that he wouldn't be the same man that he was today without her influence would be shattered.

But Richard Castle was far from a normal man and, yet again, this was all thanks to his wife. She had turned his life around and had been the one to truly make him a man worthy of her, a father worthy of his beloved Alexis, and later a father worthy of little Michael as well. She had become a bright and shiny light in the parts of his heart that had been ripped away when it became apparent that Kyra wasn't coming back and later when Meredith had further hollowed out those same regions with her own sudden departure. With Sophia by his side he had truly felt invincible, as if he could take on the world and some left over after everything was said and done.

Then years later his ideas for his character Derrick Storm ran dry and he just couldn't force himself to keep on regurgitating the same lines and methods over and over again. He hadn't sat down to write anything seriously in months, and his publishers were beginning to threaten him with some rather nasty financial repercussions if he didn't come up with something viable soon. That's when he met her, Detective Kate Beckett, and inspiration struck him and struck him hard. Well, after he had been brought down to the station where she worked that was. Sophia, who had just gotten back into the country (doing something that she yet again couldn't tell him about) and had been about to meet him at his latest launch party after about a month away, was had not been amused.

That's when he got the idea to create the character Nikki Heat and over the next few months the two of them had formed a somewhat quirky partnership between them. And aside from a mostly solid friendship the two individuals in question kept themselves within a rather professional decorum. It went this way for almost four years through psychotic killers, assassination attempts, and corrupt politics. Then Sophia had shown up at the two partner's latest crime scene, with as much professionalism as possible considering their relationship over the better part of a decade, and instructed him to get into the same black unmarked vehicle that she had rode up to them in.

And despite Kate's objections at essentially having had her latest case yanked out from under her before she and hers had even really started Richard complied without complaint or question. Especially since his wife had chosen to use that particular tone of voice with him, because that voice meant business. Just like the time when Scott Dunn had become a big enough threat to her family that she had pretty much thrown their entire apartment complex on lock down and decided that the children couldn't leave until the serial killer in question was either dead or permanently captured.

…That and the fact that Richard simply trusted his wife more than Kate any day of the week. Regardless of how close he had gotten to his partner over the intervening years. As it turned out she wanted to recruit them into her own latest investigation.

It had been a farce; it had been a lie… Well, mostly.

Flashback:

"This wasn't the plan you know." Sophia said as she tried not to look her husband in his betrayed eyes. Damn it, she was a pro, she killed when she had to for a living! But this man on his knees before her had some how wormed his way into her heart, her actual heart. The one that she kept locked away within herself so as to never let anyone get too close for the sake of her mission. But her original mission was no more, it was gone and never to return. But she just couldn't go, even after all these years she couldn't leave it alone and let the old men that had created her down. Even if they themselves were no more…

"And how was this supposed go?" Richard asked as he continued to try and wrap his mind around what was happening. His beloved Sophia was holding a gun to his head while he was busy being on his knees. This was the same woman who had turned his almost hollow life around a mere matter of months after they had first met. Before her the only people and things holding him together had been the need to provide proper care for his daughter and love of his mother. Then she had come along and set his world on its head.

It hadn't happened over night, no, instead it had been a gradual process of him wanting to improve himself so that he could look better for her, so that he could be better for her. She had never asked him to change or improve anything about himself, he had been the one to take the initiative and it showed. His gambling, despite that it hadn't been too bad to start with had eventually slowed to the point where he would do it outside of a few monthly poker games among him and his friends. The same thing had happened with his drinking and partying as well. There had just been something about her that, regardless of her day job and the things it asked of her, brought out the best in him and made those parts want to shine.

Then it'd happened, after about a year they had finally slept together. And for a moment it looked as if that the tension that had been between them had been all there was to their friendship. But Richard had once again taken the initiative and fought for her, and he won. Six months later they were married. Over the years she had become more of a mother figure to Alexis than the young girl's own mother had ever been to her. Then a couple years in Michael had been born and the small family couldn't have been happier. Of course given Sophia's chosen career there had been times when she would almost completely disappear for whole months (if not more) at a time but Richard, with the support of friends and family, had persevered and would always be there waiting for her with a smile whenever she finally got back home. And he could always tell that she genuinely appreciated the gesture.

And now here she was, years later, pointing a gun at him. The only consolation that he could find was the fact that she looked genuinely saddened that she was doing it.

"I don't know… Just not like this." Sophia said as she continued to try and brace herself for what was about to happen.

"It's not too late. You can put that thing away, we can stop that guy, and none of this would have ever happened." Richard said, his voice now laced with a pleading waver. Kate for her part could only look at her friend in astonishment at what he was saying before bringing her eyes back to the woman about to end both of their lives.

"You would really do that, wouldn't you…"

It wasn't a question; Sophia knew that her husband was being completely serious. He was willing to risk treason for her; he was willing to risk anything short of their own children to keep her safe. He just loved her that much.

"Yeah, I would. We can still stop this, then we can go home and as far as I'm concerned this will never have happened." Richard said as he practically begged his wife to see sense. Sure she had never been truly honest with him about whom she was but when it had been just them or them and their children? He just knew that deep down inside that those moments had been real and he didn't want to lose them. After a moment where he could tell that she was giving his words some serious thought she spoke,

"No. I'm sorry Richard."

"Why not?" The man looking up at her asked, his voice now low and his face crumpling as her words sank in.

"I want to, I do. I love you and the kids, but I can't let go. I'm sorry." Sophia said as their eyes finally met for a brief moment before she lurched forward and Richard Castle knew that he was about to die.

BANG!

End Flashback:

As Richard sat in Captain Gates' office and listened to Danberg something inside of him stood on a precipice. The next few moments would be the ones to define the rest of his life, because they would be the ones to either break him or make him stronger.

"Who else have you told all this so far? Have you filed your report with your superiors yet?" Richard asked suddenly as a glint of steel entered his eyes.

"Why do you ask?" Danberg inquired, his eyes snapping to the speaking man. He already knew what the man was going to say, what he was going to ask for, but he didn't stop him. The other two occupants in the room just looked on at the two men as they tried to respect the fact that Castle was very much grieving over the death of his wife.

"I just want to know if there's anyway we can keep this quiet. I want to be able to tell my kids that their mother was a hero. Even if she really wasn't I think they deserve that." Richard said. His gaze had been unfaltering as he spoke; all vestiges of the clown's mask that he usually chose to wear were burned away under the weight of his stare. Danberg could only nod for a moment as he continued to consider the other man in the room.

There would of course be a thorough investigation into the man himself, much like there had been when he had begun to shadow Sophia Turner years ago and again when their relationship turned serious. He highly doubted that anything would be found, Richard Castle had honestly had no idea that the woman he'd married was a double agent and it showed. But regardless, it was procedure and it would be done.

"I'll see what I can do." Danberg finally said as even Captain Gates looked on sympathetically.

"Thank you." Richard said as he solemnly stood up and headed for the door.

"Castle, where're you going?" Kate asked softly as she took a step forward towards her friend.

"I have to go. I have to tell my kids that their mother's dead." Richard said as he reached for the doorknob so that he could let himself out. "Captain Gates, I probably won't be in for a while. I'll let you know when I decide to come back."

"Understood Castle… And for what it's worth, I'm sorry for your loss." Gates said as she looked to one of the more annoying men that she'd ever met in her life with a new found respect and no small amount of sympathy. She honestly didn't know if she could have been as strong as the man in front of her had their positions been reversed and she was well aware of that fact.

With that he quickly departed and after saying his goodbyes to Ryan and Esposito and headed home. And it was on the way that he made a decision. He would not let today crush him. He would not let the cruel fate that had befallen him and his that day destroy him. No, instead he would use it to make himself stronger for his children and mother, for his friends, and all those that he would ever help in his life. And even though she wasn't there with him anymore and even though he had probably never even known her real name he would make Sophia proud.

AN: I know, this one was kinda a cross between bittersweet and a downer. I actually got a little choked up when I was writing it at certain points. But then again according to certain people I'm a big softy at times.

AN: So what did you all think? Please leave a review, please do, they happen to make my day. Until next time and wishing you all only the best,

Relim