Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including, but not limited to, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Love Sees More
"Don't wander off," Caitlin Lupin told her five year old son as he made his down back porch steps and into the yard. Pushing a strand of blond hair back from her face, she added, "It will be getting dark soon."
"I won't, Mum," Remus said, jumping off the last step.
Caitlin turned back into the kitchen, taking the empty plate from in front of her husband where he was sitting at the table. She added that dish to the sink, then grabbed her apron from the counter. Her husband grabbed that evening's copy of The Daily Prophet from the counter where an owl had dropped it earlier, and he sat back down at the table, pulling it open.
When Caitlin placed the last plate in the drying rack, she wiped her hands on her apron and looked out the window. Pulling the apron off, she went to the back door and yelled, "Remus! Remus, it's time to come in now!"
She turned back into the kitchen and pulled a couple of teacups from the cupboard; they always had hot chocolate before they gave Remus his bath and put him to bed, it was one of his favorites.
When the teakettle began to boil, she went back to the door and yelled for Remus again. "Remus! The hot chocolate is ready!"
Even if Remus was trying to squeeze a few more minutes of playtime out of his curfew – which he often did – he always came running when his mother announced that the hot chocolate was ready.
Caitlin frowned, pausing and listening for any sounds of her son. "Remus! Now, young man." She paused for nearly a minute, waiting. Still, Remus didn't come.
"Alex," she said, turning back to her husband who was still at the table, "he won't come in."
Alex frowned, folding up his paper. "I'll get him, finish with the hot chocolate." He passed his wife and went out onto the porch. "Remus! Come on now, it's getting dark. You can come outside tomorrow."
Caitlin was behind him, fear ebbing at her voice. "I told him not to wander off, where could he be?"
"Wait here," Alex said. He stepped down off the porch, glancing around the backyard. "Remus!"
"Something's wrong," Caitlin whispered, her eyes going to fence and the forest beyond.
"Don't panic, Katie," Alex said calmly. "I'm going to check around the house, I'm sure he's here."
Alex quickly walked around the perimeter of the house, calling for Remus and looking behind every bush and tree, anywhere that a young boy might hide. When he returned to the backyard, he shook his head. "I can't find him."
Caitlin's eyes had grown wide and there were tears shimmering there. "You don't think he would…?" she asked, trailing off and gesturing to the forest.
Glancing briefly at the trees, Alex shook his head. "We've told him how dangerous it is in there."
"But where else could he be?" Caitlin asked frantically.
Frowning again, Alex looked around the yard once more. "Remus! If you're hiding, this isn't funny anymore, mister."
"He wouldn't do this, wouldn't hide like this," Caitlin said certainly.
Feeling his heart sink, Alex followed his wife's gaze to the forest. It was completely dark now and the full moon stood out extra bright and pronounced against the blackness of the sky.
A scream echoed through the trees then, coming out muffled and pained.
Caitlin screamed, recognizing it at once. "Remus!"
She took off running, throwing herself at the fence. Just then, strong arms grabbed her, pulling her back.
Sobs pouring from her, Caitlin screamed again, "REMUS!"
"Caitlin, you can't go in there!" Alex said gruffly, holding onto his wife as tightly as he could. "You could be hurt…"
"I DON'T CARE!" Caitlin yelled. "REMUS!"
"NO!" Alex said. "You go get help, I'll get Remus."
By the time Alex found Remus, the sun was rising. Remus had apparently managed to get further away from the cottage than Alex had thought possible for a five-year-old, but then again, judging by the state his son was in, he could have been dragged away by something…
Remus's clothes were torn almost completely to shreds, and blood was oozing out of his many wounds. A particularly deep-looking gash near the left side of his neck was dripping a puddle of crimson liquid on bright green grass.
"Oh…Merlin," Alex breathed, flinching away for a brief second. "Remus…" he said, going to his son and placing a hand on the boy's cheek.
Alex thought he was dead, and his heart jumpstarted again when he felt Remus's shallow but warm breath on his hand.
"Remus…"
"Da…" Remus began, but his voice broke and faded.
"Shhh," Alex soothed, his mind spinning with questions. "Don't talk, it'll be okay."
"I…"
"Hush now," Alex whispered, pulling off his cloak and wrapping it around his son. He thought about trying to do some Healing Charms, but he wasn't all that good with them, and he thought it best to get Remus back to the house immediately, and contact someone who could properly care for him.
He lifted Remus into his arms, hugging the trembling boy tightly, and whispering soothing words to him.
When they were within earshot of the cottage, Alex shouted, "KATIE! KATIE!"
When the blond-haired woman appeared on the back steps, she seemed to go completely pale at the sight of her son.
"Get a healer, Katie!" Alex screamed. "NOW!"
Katie hesitated for a split second before she turned around, almost toppling over in the process, and went inside.
Alex quickly crossed the backyard, his breath coming in heavy gasps from running the entire way through the forest.
"Dad…" Remus choked out.
"I told you not to talk."
"I'm sorry," Remus gasped, ignoring his father's words. "I'm sorry…"
When the healer emerged from Remus's room and appeared in the kitchen doorway, Alex immediately stood up from the table, nearly knocking his cup of tea over. Caitlin looked up from her hands, her face red and tear-streaked. Before the healer said anything, she'd gotten shakily to her feet, approaching him.
"Is he…?" she began, but she couldn't finish the sentence. She clutched at her husband's robe, her nearly white fingers grabbing the fabric tightly.
The seconds seem to stretch for ages, the afternoon sun throwing bright streaks across the kitchen. Caitlin loved her kitchen, but she currently felt so sick to her stomach, she didn't think she'd ever feel like eating again.
Finally, the healer sighed and said, "He's alive."
Caitlin gasped in a breath, then buried her head in Alex's shoulder, sobs escaping from her. He wrapped an around her, looking extremely relieved.
"However…" the healer began again, "the creature that attacked him…"
"You were able to determine that?" Alex asked.
The healer nodded once. "Normally, that isn't always so easy to determine, but in this case…well, the infection has already spread quite…"
"Infection?" Alex asked.
Sighing and rubbing at his eyes in exhaustion, the healer mumbled, "Sometimes I really hate my job." He paused, then looked back up at Caitlin and Alex. "Your son's been bitten by a werewolf."
Alex stared at the man in disbelief for a few moments, and then he buried his head in his hand. Caitlin looked back and forth between the two men.
"What?" she asked shakily. She didn't want to believe it. She wouldn't believe it!
With a quick glance at Alex, the healer said, "Beginning twenty-nine days from now, on every full moon, he will transform into a werewolf as well."
Caitlin let out a sob, drooping against her husband. She shook her head wildly, her hand going up to her mouth. "My little boy…There must be something you can do!" she cried. "You're a healer, do something!"
"At this time," the healer sighed, "there is no known cure. And unless one is discovered, he'll live with this until the day he dies."
Caitlin started to sob even harder, collapsing against Alex, while he just stared in disbelief at the healer, a blank look in his eyes.
"You don't have to deal with this, you know," the healer said then.
"What?" Caitlin asked. "Why do you mean?"
"There are places," the healer explained, "for…his kind. There are orphanages and colonies – I could give you the Floo address for some of them in the country."
"What?" Alex spoke up for the first time since he had heard his son was a werewolf.
"Come the full moon, he'll transform into a vicious, blood-thirsty monster," the healer wearily, as if he thought it silly that he even had to explain it at all.
Another sob came from Caitlin, and tears flooded down her cheeks.
"Neither one of you is safe while he's still here," the man added.
"Let me get this straight," Alex said, his voice much louder than it'd been before. "You're suggesting that we ship our son off to one of those places…"
"He's not your son anymore," the healer interrupted. "He looks like it, but he's not your son anymore."
"Forgive me," Alex said, "but I went to Hogwarts, I'm perfectly well aware of what a werewolf is, thank you."
"You don't seem to understand…"
"Oh, I understand perfectly," Alex said, taking a step closer to the man. "I'm very grateful for what you've just done for him, but how dare you come into my home and suggest such a thing?"
"When he does transform, he'd kill the both of you if he got the chance."
More cries came from Caitlin, and Alex muttered through clenched teeth, "Get out. Despite what some of you experts believe, that boy in there will always be my son. Do you hear me? Always."
With one more glance at the couple, the healer gathered up his bag and cloak. "I'd reconsider if I was in your shoes. One of those places would ensure that he doesn't harm anyone. You can tell your family that he was killed in the attack…they'd never know…"
"I thought I told you to GET OUT!" Alex thundered, staring daggers the healer.
The healer quickly added, "I pray you take my advice," before he grabbed a handful of Floo powder and departed.
Alex held Caitlin tightly as she cried.
"What are we going to do?" Caitlin asked some time later, approaching him from behind, her voice sounding much firmer than it had earlier.
"I don't know," Alex whispered back, wrapping his arms around himself as if he was cold. "Can you believe how rude that healer was? Suggesting we find a nice werewolf colony to dump Remus off at."
"He made it sound like that's what most parents do when a child is bitten," Caitlin responded, shivering at the thought.
Alex shook his head defiantly. "We're not 'most parents.' Honestly, what sort of parents would do that? Drop their child off at one of those places like he means nothing."
"I couldn't do that," Caitlin said, her voice cracking.
Alex hesitated a moment before turning to face her. "We're agreed then," he said. "He's still our son, whether he transforms into a wolf every month or not. He'll be confused and scared enough. Can you imagine what he'd do if he found himself in one of those places?"
"He needs us," Caitlin whimpered. "We can't do that to him."
"We won't," Alex reassured. "I promise." He stepped forward, reaching an arm around his wife's shoulders. "We'll have to find someplace for him to transform…"
"Where?"
"No idea. Maybe we could have some sort of room built onto the house or something. Actually, I'm going to Floo Dumbledore. I'm sure he'll have some ideas."
Remus had been falling in and out of consciousness all week, and was plagued by a high fever, which his new healer, Anthony Isaacs assured them was perfectly normal after being bitten. After trying healer after healer, every last one of which suggested that the Lupins drop Remus off at the nearest werewolf colony, Dumbledore put them in contact with Anthony, who seemed much more sympathetic to lycanthropy.
The fairly young, dark-haired man seemed very professional, but also friendly, and Alex and Caitlin liked him instantly – especially when he didn't make any suggestions about werewolf colonies.
"The fever," Anthony explained to them one afternoon four days after Remus had been bitten, "is indicative of the fact that the infection is…well, to be perfectly honest, it's changing him."
Alex and Caitlin shared a concerned looked. "You're not going to start on that rubbish about how he isn't really my son anymore, are you?" Alex asked sharply.
"No!" Anthony exclaimed. "Certainly not. I'm just trying to warn you about some of the things that you may notice. His hearing may be a little more sensitive, which is probably what you'll notice the most, and there are other things that you probably won't notice at all, although they'll be very apparent to him…but don't get me wrong," he added, giving the couple a meaningful look. "In every way that counts, he's still your son. I would never suggest otherwise."
Caitlin's hands were shaking as she made tea, glancing back and forth between the two men in the kitchen.
"I've seen children – not ones as young as Remus, but children nonetheless – made to deal with this on their own," Anthony went on. "It can have devastating consequences. I've been to some of those werewolf colonies they have, and I am simply appalled by any healer that suggests that you take your son to one of those places. They're horrific. The people that run them, they don't at all about the children there. Those places are rundown and dirty, and they barely have enough medical care to care for a handful of werewolves after transformations let alone the dozens upon dozens that they have there…" Anthony trailed off, shaking his head.
"What Remus needs the most right now," Anthony said, "is to know that the two of you still think of him as your son."
Alex gave him a skeptical look, leaning back against the counter. "You think that'll help?"
"I've seen what happens to children who don't have the love and support of their parents or any other guardians," Anthony stressed. "It'll help, believe me, it will."
Alex ran his hands through his hair. "Well, he has that. I just wish he would wake up."
"I'd give him another three days," Anthony said. "Floo me then no matter what. Even if he does wake up, I'd like to check over him again." After a moment's pause, he asked, "When are you going to tell him?"
"Soon after he wakes up," Alex said. "I hate to just spring it on him, but he'll need as much time as he can get to adjust to the idea before he transforms for the first time."
By the end of the week, the stone room that Dumbledore had suggested they have built was taking shape on the back corner of the Lupins' property. It was just a stone foundation and the beginnings of walls, but the builders Dumbledore had put them in contact with ensured them that it would be ready for use by mid-August. Alex and Caitlin didn't tell the builders what they needed it for of course, and the men didn't ask.
On Friday, just as Anthony had said, Remus's fever broke and he woke up. The moments when he'd been awake before, Remus had been rather delirious and didn't quite understand where he was, which Anthony said was natural given his high fever.
Caitlin and Alex were in the kitchen that afternoon, picking at their lunches, when a small voice came from the doorway.
"What're they building outside?"
"Remus!" Caitlin cried, getting to her feet.
"Ow!" Remus cried, covering his ears. "You don't need to scream, Mum."
"Sensitive hearing, Katie," Alex reminded her quietly.
Remus gave his father a strange look, as his mother pulled him into a tight hug. "My poor little boy," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry, my little prince."
"Katie," Alex said, getting his feet and placing a hand on his wife's shoulder. When she finally pulled away, Alex placed a hand on Remus's head and said, "Come sit down, we need to have a little talk."
Continuing to look back and forth between his parents, Remus climbed into the chair at the table that he usually sat in during meals. He winced every time his body came into contact with the hard wood. When he got himself settled, he frowned deeply and said, "I don't feel good."
"We know," Alex said, giving Remus's shoulder a soft squeeze.
"How about some soup and tea?" Caitlin asked, crouching down next to Remus and pushing his hair out of his eyes.
Remus nodded, resting his head in one of his hands. His head was throbbing with pain, and his body just felt funny to him. It almost felt like something was growing just under his skin, something that made his body hurt and throb, and his skin tingle with every touch. And every single sound hurt his ears. Even the soft chirping of the birds outside was much too loud, making his head hurt even more.
After Remus had eaten some chicken noodle soup and drank some tea, he felt a little better, and he waited for his parents to begin the "talk" that they wanted to have.
"Remus," Alex began with a sigh, "something happened to you…when you went out into the forest that night."
He had known that. The last thing he remembered before waking up in his bedroom this afternoon was jumping over the fence into the forest…and pain…
Remus shook his head to clear it of memories. Judging by the stone structure that was being built on the edge of the lawn, that must have been at least several days ago, because it certainly hadn't been there before.
Looking down at his hands in his lap, Remus felt his face flush. He knew he was going to be scolded for going into the forest when he'd been forbidden to go anywhere near it.
"Why, Remus?" Caitlin asked softly, leaning forward in her chair toward him. "After we expressly forbid you from going in there…Why?"
Remus shrugged, returning his gaze to his lap again. "Dunno. I…I thought I could get back before you noticed…"
His parents shared a glance, and Alex said, "Well, something happened while you were in there. Do you…remember…anything?"
Shaking his head, Remus said, "No. I…got lost and…it hurt…really bad."
Caitlin let out a sob, and Remus felt confused. What were they trying to tell him?
"Remus," Alex said calmly and quietly, "you were attacked…by a werewolf."
Remus's frown deepened, and he looked back and forth between his parents again, from his grim-looking father to his mother who was struggling not to cry.
"You were bitten by a werewolf," his father clarified.
Remus felt more confused than ever, but for some reason he couldn't explain, his right hand went to the area between his left shoulder and neck. The bandage had been removed and the bite had been healed, but the area was still bright red and sore to the touch. A pale crescent-shaped scar was already present there, and unbeknownst to Remus, it would never fade.
"Remus," Alex said, sliding from his chair and kneeling on the floor next to Remus's chair. He grabbed Remus's tiny hand in his, pulling it away from the scar. "Listen to me. Do you remember when we talked about that? About werewolves?"
Shrugging, Remus ran his mind back to that conversation. His dad had been telling him a story that had werewolves in it, and Remus inquired about them, but about all he could remember now was the fact that they only came out on full moons.
"It was a full moon," Remus asked, "when I went into the forest?"
"Yes," Alex answered, and then he paused for a moment, looking into Remus's deep blue eyes. Even though he was now a werewolf, his eyes were still exactly the same, wide and curious. Alex smiled grimly and went on, "The bite of a werewolf is infectious."
"What…?" came Remus's voice, shaking and confused.
Bowing his head for a moment and taking a steadying breath, Alex gripped Remus's other hand in his. Alex looked back up at his wife, who was still seated next to Remus, one of her hands on his shoulder.
"When that werewolf bit you, Remus," Alex said, "he made you a werewolf, too."
Remus's entire body shivered and looked at his mother, who had moved her hand to the top of his head, smoothing his light brown hair back.
"Every full moon from now on," Alex added, "you will…transform into a werewolf until the moon sets again."
Suddenly breathing very hard, his eyes filling with tears, Remus asked the first question that came into him mind. "Is it because I was bad? Because I went into the forest when I wasn't supposed to?"
"No!" both Alex and Caitlin cried fiercely.
"It was accident," Caitlin said, placing her finger under Remus's chin and turning his head to face her. "It's not because you were bad or anything like that. It just happened."
Remus rubbed at his eyes and asked, "Does that mean that when it is a full moon, I'll…" he trailed off and his eyes grew much wider than they had been. "I'll bite people too."
"No!" Alex repeated, very firmly. "I promise we won't let that happen."
"Full moons are once a month?" Remus asked.
"Every twenty-nine days," Alex answered, nodding.
"Is that what that's for?" Remus said, turning and pointing through the back porch window to the growing stone structure at the edge of the yard.
"We're having it built for you, yes," Caitlin said.
"I'm going to have to sleep in there once a month?" Remus said, scrunching up his face at the thought.
"I know it doesn't look very nice," Caitlin told him, "but it's to keep…you safe."
"Why didn't someone lock that other werewolf away?" Remus asked. "Why was he out? Why did they let him bite me?"
Exhaling a deep breath, Alex said, "I don't know."
"Will I hurt somebody?"
"No, you won't, Remus, I promise," Alex murmured. He glanced back at Caitlin again, and said, "This is a new experience for all of us, but I promise we're going to take care of you, okay?"
Remus felt a sob escaping him, but just before it did, he threw himself into his father's arms and cried.
"I've heard that the first transformation is always the worst," Anthony said as he sipped at his tea the morning after Remus's first transformation. "And being only five…" Anthony stopped, shaking his head. "I know he looks bad right now, but…well, I've seen this many times before. It just takes some getting used to…seeing him like that."
Remus slept in the spare bedroom off of the sitting room; Remus's parents had decided to let him sleep in there after transformations so he wouldn't have to walk up and down steps while he was still healing. There were bandages over Remus's forehead, around one of his arms, around his chest, and around one of his legs and foot.
In the kitchen, Anthony pulled a small vial of bright green potion from his bag. "When he wakes up, make him some soup and put a few drops of this into it," he explained, setting the glass bottle down on the counter. "It will help with the pain, and continue to use it if he experiences anymore aches. I have some other patients to check on now. Floo my home if you need me; my assistant will be there all afternoon and she'll know how to contact me."
"Thank you, Anthony," Alex whispered as the healer went to the fireplace.
A few hours later, the silence of the cottage was broken by very hoarse and pained sobs coming from the spare bedroom. When Alex and Caitlin entered, they found Remus thrashing about on his bed, screaming for them.
"Remus!" Caitlin said, going to him and softly resting her hands on his shoulders. "Remus, wake up!"
"You're having a nightmare," Alex said, dropping down onto the bed and reaching out for one of Remus's hands.
When Remus's eyes flew open, they were shimmering with tears, but his breathing settled slightly when he saw his parents. "It's hurts," he sobbed.
"We know," Alex said quietly, brushing his hand against Remus's cheek, trying to sooth him.
"I'm going to make you some soup, okay?" Caitlin asked shakily, placing a kiss on Remus's forehead. "It'll make you feel better."
"Don't go," Remus pleaded, more tears running down his cheeks. "Please?"
Caitlin hesitated, then knelt down on the floor next to his bed. "I won't. Not if you don't want me to."
Remus closed his eyes tightly, his teeth grazing over his bottom lip, which had been split open at some time during the night, and was deep red from the dried blood.
"Shh," Alex hissed. "Just rest."
"I'm a monster," Remus sobbed, turning his head into his pillow, his entire body shaking as he cried.
"Remus!" Alex scolded, a bit louder than he intended. "Don't you ever say that! Do you hear me?"
"But I am," Remus cried, refusing to look at them. "I…" he stopped and shook his head, flashes of being in a completely foreign form and throwing himself repeated against the door of the shed floating into his mind. It was very dark and blurry, but he remembered what he had felt in that moment, that he'd wanted to hurt…
He remembered looking down at the body that wasn't his and seeing fur and claws. That was something only monsters had, wasn't it? All the monsters in the stories his dad had told him had fur and claws…
"Only monsters are like that!" Remus said urgently. "Not…not…"
"You're still our little boy, Remus," Caitlin said.
"No!" Remus exclaimed. "I'm not! I…you…" His words were lost as he cried, shaking his head back and forth frantically, clawing at his pillow with a hand that had had claws just the night before.
"Remus," Alex said sternly, reaching his arms out and scooping Remus into his lap, "that's enough." Alex leaned back against the wall, tucking Remus's head under his chin and letting the boy cry.
Tears pouring down her own cheeks, Caitlin settled herself on the bed, running her hand softly over Remus's back.
"Why?" Remus finally asked, his cries stopping long enough to let him speak coherently.
"Why what?" Alex said.
"Why?" Remus repeated, but he didn't add anything more. Alex was vaguely reminded of Remus's "why" phase, when the boy had answered everything with "Why?" Alex shared a slightly amused glanced with Caitlin, and they seemed to understand.
Alex took a deep breath, his hand pushing Remus's soft hair away from his face. "Because, Remus, love sees more than a werewolf once a month. Love sees more than the fur and claws."
"Love sees our little boy," Caitlin added. "And you'll always be our little boy, Remus, whether you're a werewolf or not."
"Besides, what did you do last night that was so bad?" Alex asked. "You didn't hurt anyone."
"I think he tore the blankets to shreds," Caitlin volunteered.
Remus's eyes grew wide and shimmered with tears again.
"They're only blankets, Remus," Alex said. "A simple Reparo charm, and they'll be as good as new."
"My point is," Caitlin said, "if that's all you did, then you have absolutely nothing to be upset over."
"I did this too," Remus said, looking down at the many bandages that covered his body.
"They'll heal," Alex said. "You'll be just fine in no time."
"Until next month," Remus mumbled, scowling and looking away from his parents.
"I'm sorry we can't make it stop, Remus," Caitlin said, tilting her head to meet his eyes again. "We would if we could."
Letting out a long sigh, Remus buried his head in his father robes. "I don't want to be a werewolf." He fought to contain a sob and said, "I'm sorry I went into that forest, I'll never do it again!"
"Remus," Alex said, using his hand and forcing Remus's face up toward his, "look at me." When Remus's eyes settled on him, Alex said, "We know you're sorry and…I'm sorry we didn't keep a better eye on you. We should have. But I want you to remember that you're not being punished because you were bad. Like your mum said, it was an accident."
"Dad? Mum?" Remus asked, looking back and forth between them. "Do you…?" he trailed off and shook his head.
"What, Remus?" Caitlin asked. "Whatever it is, you can tell us."
Using a bandaged hand to wipe away a tear from his cheek, he turned an looked out of the bedroom window for a long time. After nearly a minute had passed, Remus asked very quietly, "Do you still love me?"
"Remus!" Caitlin cried. "What on earth could make you ask something like that?"
Remus shrugged, and Alex said, "We will always love you, Remus! No matter what. Whether you're a werewolf, or a vampire, or a Fwooper for Merlin's sake."
"Fwoopers are birds, Daddy," Remus said matter-of-factly, a small smirk appearing on his lips.
"Well, if you somehow got turned into a Fwooper," Alex said, "we'd still love you."
"Remus," Caitlin said, scooting closing to him on the bed, "I want you to remember something." She reached out and laid a hand on Remus's heart. "You're still Remus John Lupin in here, and that's what matters. That's what we see."
"Because love sees more than a werewolf," Remus stated.
"Yes," Alex agreed. "We'll always see more."
Tears welling up in his eyes again, Remus curled up against his father, burying his face in the soft material of his robes. He felt his mother wrap her arm around his shoulders, squeezing a little too tightly, but he didn't care, because he knew he was loved, and that was all that mattered.
The end