AN: Hey everybody! As you can see, I'm sort of expanding my horizons here. I love Scrubs - one of the best shows EVER - and this plotbunny has literally been hopping around my head for a year. It was begging to be written. I'm a dork for Gilligan - the theme song was my lullaby as a kid. So I was kinda excited to have everything come together here.
To my followers: I'm still working on my P/O fics, trust me! But work and freshman year of college have been coming down on me pretty hard. So bear with me! All your reviews, favorites, and watches mean a lot to me!
Disclaimer: Clearly, neither Scrubs nor Gilligan's Island are mine.
My Gilligan
Everyone has a guilty pleasure.
Most people want to hide them – Bob Kelso very nearly took Ms. Pacman to his grave – and Dr. Perry Cox was no exception. He hated to think what might happen to his reputation if anyone were to know what he liked to do in his spare time (other than drink scotch and watch the Red Wings). Even his wife had no idea what made him happier than she ever could.
That thing happened to be Gilligan's Island.
As a child, Perry had very little to look forward to during the week. The only relaxation he ever seemed to experience came in the form of his father lying, passed-out, in the living room, and even this only served to build the tension as he waited for him to wake and begin the torment once again.
That was until "story time" in his first grade class.
The idea was for the children to sit in a circle and tell a story that they had either heard or created in the past week. Even at six years old, Perry thought it was a stupid exercise – he sat as far from the others as he could, arms folded and jaw set, until one boy's story caught his attention.
"… and then the Skipper yelled, 'GILLIGAN!' and hit him with his hat!" the boy exclaimed, and the class burst into raucous laughter.
Perry perked up ever so slightly. Something about the characters – maybe their names? – had piqued his interest.
"And why did he do that, Jimmy?" the teacher asked.
"Because Gilligan was being silly," Jimmy answered simply.
Jimmy then launched into a long-winded description of Gilligan's misgivings. The man sounded foolish, even idiotic, but kind-hearted; the Skipper sounded like a man with tested patience who, despite his affection for his "little buddy," couldn't help but become exasperated with Gilligan's shenanigans.
While the attention of the rest of the class waned, Perry was transfixed. He wished more than anything that he could be on that island. At recess that day, he pretended to be the Skipper, marching around and hitting a tall, skinny shrub with his baseball cap and shouting, "GILLIGAN!" at the top of his lungs. Something about those two characters had burned themselves into his young brain in a way nothing else ever had.
Later that night, he discovered that reruns of the old sitcom played every day at 4:30 PM. That's when Perry decided to become the best son he could be: he ate his vegetables, he did all his homework, and he remained perfectly silent throughout the week, all in hopes that, when 4:30 came around, his father would hand him the remote and allow him to sail away to meet the crew of the Minnow. His teachers also noticed marked improvements in his behavior; he was no longer the sullen boy in the corner, but had begun quietly and courteously doing his work and even helping other children with theirs, all while humming the same tune:
"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip…"
To his teachers (and, soon, his classmates), he became a vision of perfection. He began getting straight A's (just as he was sure the Professor had), laughing with his peers (because he knew Gilligan would have been friendly to them), and standing up to all the bullies (as he knew his idol, the Skipper, always would have).
As he grew older, he grew much more disillusioned. Those years of innocence could never remain unscarred by his father's brutality and his mother's silent obedience. Still, that love of Gilligan's Island remained, right along with his admiration of the tough-but-reliable Skipper. Though he would never admit it, he cried for a good half hour when Alan Hale Jr., the actor that portrayed his boyhood hero, died. The only reason he stopped was because an intern had stumbled into the supply closet, and Perry threatened to stab him in the eye with a hypodermic needle if he ever told anyone what he'd seen.
Even more than the Skipper, Perry adored the relationship between the Skipper and Gilligan. There was something about the dynamic between the two that spoke to him. Gilligan loved the Skipper, albeit in a clumsy, almost puppyish way, and even though the Skipper would never admit it, he loved Gilligan just as much. He would never have made it through the ordeal of the shipwreck if it hadn't been for his "little buddy." Just thinking about it could make him smile on a bad day…
"PERRY!"
Perry threw out a hand to shove JD away from him before he could get close enough for a hug. "Woah, there, Newbie. What have I told you about touching me?"
"Don't do it?"
"Eeeeeeexactly." Perry strode off down the hall, JD on his heels. "What are you so chipper about, Janice? Did you just have nerd sex with Ghandi in the on-call room?"
"Very funny, Per-Per." JD held up his hands, looking a little unnerved by the glare coming his way. "Okay, still no to the nicknames. The point is, I'm in a good mood because of what today is."
"And what would that be, Barbara? Big sale at Victoria's Secret?"
"I get it, I'm a girl." JD stepped in front of Perry, cutting off his route to the elevator. "Today is Friday."
"And?"
"And Friday is our new date night, remember?" JD said it low enough that only Perry could hear, but the older doctor still looked nervously over his shoulder. "Oh, come on, Perry. Don't act like you're not excited."
"The only reason I'm not acting excited is because, well, I'm not excited," Perry answered, swiping the bridge of his nose with his index finger and crossing his arms. "The only reason I'm bothering with a 'date night' is because you won't have sex with me if I don't give into your pathetic neediness."
"You loved our last date night!"
"No. No, no, no. You loved our last date night."
"What was wrong with it?" JD pouted.
"We watched Sanford and Son for three hours, and then you fell asleep on me," Perry snapped. "The week before that, we watched Sanford and Son for three hours, and then you fell asleep on me. And the week before that, you came up with the idea of 'date night.'"
"Well, this week will be different."
"Let me guess. We'll watch Sanford and Son for two hours, and then you'll fall asleep on me, because you just stayed up so gosh-darned late looking through that new Sears catalog and wondering whether you should splurge on that new china set because, aw hell, you deserve it, but you're just not sure if it'll match the rest of your décor." Perry made a mock-anguished face. "What to do, what to do…"
"Nooooo, though I won't pretend I couldn't use new china." JD pulled something out of his scrubs pocket. "I'll give you a clue."
"I swear to God, Loretta, if that's appletini mix…"
"Nope!" JD reached up and jammed something over Perry's curls.
"Dammit, Newbie!" Perry fumed. He pulled the object off his head, ready to slap JD silly with it. He was surprised to see that it was a white bucket hat, just like Gilligan's.
Perry had to suppress a grin. He looked up at JD.
The Gilligan to his Skipper.
"I bought all three seasons on DVD," JD explained. "See? I told you it'd be different."
Perry dragged JD into an empty elevator. When the doors shut, he pulled the thinner man into a hug and gave him a gentle kiss. "You know, Newbie, it's a miracle that you've ever been laid."
"Hey!" JD opened his mouth to argue, but Perry swatted him with the hat.
"Bad Newbie."
Watching JD scowl, Perry realized that he may have found another guilty pleasure.
Hope you enjoyed it! Please read and review, it's always appreciated!