Like Fire Under The Ice

by Major Gu

How do you heal people when no one has ever cared about you? How do you encourage their smiles when no one has ever been there to see yours? How do you give your trust to someone when you can't even trust yourself ? How do you live when you have the feeling your life has never begun? How do you love without never being loved in return? How do you breath without air? I never knew

1. Chapter 1, Victor

Hi and Welcome !
As you probably understood it, this story will take place in an Alternative Universe from the original Yuri On Ice serial. It could seems drasticaly different for the moment but I assure you the main characteristics of the characters will be preserved.
This is my first story plus, English isn't my native langage so thanks to be indulgent.
A huge thanks too to the people that helped me to build it
▶ Andi (Tumblr : miraculous-katsukii ) to be there at the very beginning,

▶ SomeStoryWriter (FanFiction) to always support me

▶ SailorChibiMidnight (A3O & FanFiction) to perfect my work so well ღ

Don't forget to give me your impressions and feedbacks, it will help me to improve myself for the next chapters
See you soon for Chapter 2!
Sweets and Love, Major Gü

- Chapter 1. Victor -

2020, November 5

I was exhausted. Since the beginning of the school year, studies had intensified, and I hadn't been able to take a break. The days passed too fast to keep track of, and I found both my professional and personal life slipping out of control, but I knew that I needed to keep going. I had to become a doctor, and I had to get used to the insanity, even though all I wanted to do was skate. Medicine is my highest priority , I thought, trying to motivate myself, but I couldn't help feeling jaded.

As I climbed the stairs to my apartment, I texted Yakov, "Sry, can't come tonight or tomorrow. Wait 4 me WE. Will keep in touch. Bye". I sent it and, as usual, he didn't reply - too busy or too lazy. I sent another: "P.S: Don't drink all bottles like a good bartender ."

I felt a little guilty for not supporting him as consistently as he did with me, but he understood the situation and said that it was fine. Ever since I had moved to Paris, he had been one of the first people I met, and the only person I could trust. I was grateful for the opportunity he was giving me and I didn't want to disappoint him.

At that moment, Yakov was in charge of an ice center in the suburbs of the capital city that he'd inherited from his family. At first, the skating rink was run-down but cheap, and he worked hard to restore it. He renovated the whole thing, inside and out, turning it into one of the most popular in the city. Since then, he added a food court (where I worked most of the time) and organized competitions and skating lessons. In exchange for help, he allowed me to practice whenever I wanted, and gave me a small salary.

I was thankful for that and, despite my state, I couldn't hold in a silent smile. Thanks old man, from the bottom of my heart .

Having arrived at the 4th floor, I walked to the threshold of the sea-green door and unlocked it. Surprisingly, lights were turn off and it seemed that I was alone. It was already dark outside and Yuuri generally came home before me after work. Something seemed odd, but since he was only my roommate, he didn't owe me any explanations.

I sighed and fell over the sofa in the living-room, taking off my coat. It was my turn to make dinner this evening. I dragged my feet to the kitchen and began to cook. I let my thoughts wander and soon I broke the last egg in the frying pan. Tonight we will eat omelette I guess…

It was already 8p.m when I tried to call Yuuri to find out if he was going to eat with me, but he never answered his phone. Damn those people who never pick up their phones.

An hour had passed by the time I finished doing the dishes and cleaning the apartment. I was so hungry and tired, I just wanted to get it over with and go to sleep. I was a bit mad he hadn't told me anything and finally I ate alone. He had been quite distant for a few days, and we hadn't been seeing each other a lot.

I didn't say a word about the fact that we had dinner apart last night too, but to tell the truth, I was a bit upset he hadn't even touched the food I also made for him at that time. The meal was still wrapped in the refrigerator, untouched. Had I done or said something? Had he just planned to leave this place for good or what?!

This thought had suddenly made me very angry. I didn't have time to waste, waiting for a sign from him. We weren't children anymore, so if he had to, he would definitely come to speak to me properly.

I went straight to bed, not wanting to see him after all, but ended up just tossing and turning all night.

It was close to One a.m when something pulled me out of sleep. I heard something but I couldn't say what. I got off my mezzanine bed and reached the living-room. I expected to see him drunk or something like that but no one was here. A burglar? No stupid, not on the 4th floor.

I was on my guard, paying attention, trying to hear the noise again. It was coming from Yuuri's room. Almost silent, but too regular to be a puff of wind. More like a pant.

My first thought was that he had brought a girl home and was doing 'things' with her. I was totally furious. Did he believe me so naive? When he became my room-mate, we both agreed to never have intimate relationships in this apartment out of respect for the other. I didn't want to rebuke him now but actually, I just wanted to make them stop those awful noises.

To hell with social conventions! I just kicked the door as hard as I could before shouting at him to stop otherwise I would come in.

For a few seconds, I didn't hear any sound. Had I shouted loud enough to deafen myself or did it really stop? But then I heard it again, as regular and whistling as before. May be Yuuri had never come back and the noise was made by the plumbing, or something else? Either way, I should go in. Just in case, I mentally prepared myself, mentally rehearsing a sarcastic "Hi" - but I couldn't continue, completely shocked at the scene in front of me;

Yuuri was lying on the back, eyes closed, breathless. Suffocating and coughing at the same time. In the shadow of the little window, I couldn't see well but was able to make out how deathly pale he was and how his mouth was turning blue, he was clutching the sheets in his closed fists so hard that his knuckles whitened.

I ran to him, kneeling next to the bed. "Yuuri can you hear me? Can you try to shake my hand if yes?" I was ordering him more than just questioning, I knew he wasn't conscious and couldn't speak so I put my hand on his but he didn't shake it off.

I grabbed my phone in the pocket of my pajamas' pants and dialed 15 for an ambulance. The few seconds of waiting sounded like years. "Yuuri, hold on, I'm here now!" I said, mostly for myself than for him, trying at the same time to help him to breath.

I had never been in such a serious situation but I attended to Yuuri, trying to calm myself down. I inspected him, and was glad that when the switchboard operator would pick up, I would know what information to give them.

As soon as I heard the bell tone indicating that the operator had picked up, a female voice saluted me, but I didn't bother and answered immediately; "My name is Victor Nikiforov, I am calling for a 22 year-old man… he's completely unconscious". I took a pause, giving her time to take notes and contact the ambulance 'the ambulance that would take him to the hospital, and for the next couple seconds, I took care to be completely silent, not because I didn't want to disturb her, but to take Yuuri's constants.

"No external injury. Regular tachycardia at 190, no, 200 beats/min! Plan an oxygen gas bottle with an SAT of 60%, and a saline solution drip, in addition to a glucos-" I spoke continually without noticing until she interrupted me, saying that emergency physicians will be there soon and that they will do their job great. She seemed young but she spoke with a gentle and serene voice, doing her job well, trying to calm me down. But I couldn't.

The only thing I could do was to agree, begging her to hurry the ambulance to our place and to stay online. I was speaking like I was crazy, my voice cracking at every new word, squeezing Yuuri in my arms, but at every 'breath', he was dying a little bit more. Every second, I was losing him more… Think! Think! There must be something I can do now, don't panic!

Suddenly, I dropped the phone on the floor, freeing Yuuri from my hug. I ran into my room, searching for my medical bag and bringing it back. It wasn't really the best help but at this moment, it was the only available equipment I had. I came back into Yuuri's room and almost had a heart attack when I saw him slipping from his bed. At the same time, I heard the woman's voice rose, almost yelling as she tried to get my attention, but it was fruitless, since I was more focused on Yuuri. Enough please, stop driving me crazy both of you! Jeeeeeez!

I had to act quickly and I didn't really have a choice. Don't back away now, you must do it!

I held him on his back with my arm on this torso. "Sorry Yuuri" I apologised in a whisper, not even sure of what I was doing. Suddenly, I stabbed him on his left side with an empty 150ml syringe. He shudder for an instant, not conscious enough to try to move, and too breathless to scream out loud.

When the shock had passed and I was sure he would not break the needle with spasms, I softly pulled the plunger of the syringe, draining some pale liquid from his abdomen. He moaned at first, but after having removed the equipment, it seemed that he were able to take a deeper breath.

I stood on my knees for a second, catching my breath again. 'Please, please, make it stops!'

I didn't know how much time had passed and I didn't know what really happened next either. My mind was elsewhere, miles and miles away from here.

When the ambulance appeared, I was already dressed but I didn't know how. Then, two strong men came to our place, taking Yuuri on a stretcher to the vehicle. I followed them without a word, climbing and sitting down in the ambulance. They gave Yuuri an oxygen mask as I had recommended on the phone. My body was still there in the ambulance, but my mind wasn't. I was far away, seeing without watching, and hearing without listening. I had never had any faith in religion, but at this moment I had never been closer to a straight pray; silently wishing for Yuuri's good health all the way long.

Before I realize it, we were at the hospital. They took Yuuri and quickly lead him to the emergency room. From that point on, I had no right to follow him and I felt lost. It must have been written on my face because before I knew it, the ambulance's driver guided me to the registration office gently. Usually, I was the one who received the patients in the emergency room, but there I was, a simple civilian, only able to sit and wait. Powerless.

I had been slumped in an old, dirty chair for the last three hours, anxious but still drifting in and out of sleep, exhausted by the tension. It was already late at night when someone called my name at the reception. I stood up immediately, forcing my brain to waking up and walked through the hallway. There, the nurse lead me to Yuuri's bed, fitted in one of the care boxes and I thanked her so she left me.

Standing near the door, lights turned off, I froze for a second. I'd been studying medicine for more than four years now; I've learned about so many awful diseases and have frequented hospital for few years, but at the end, it was always painful to see any relative being hurt.

Yuuri was sleeping in some white and green pale sheets, breathing through an oxygen tube placed at the base of his nose and passing on both sides on his face, while a drip was attached to his wrist. His cheeks were pale pink; he looked febrile, and his closed eyes were hollowed due to pure exhaustion. But after all, he seemed finally quiet, making a small noise every time his chest rose. A nice one to me. It calmed me down and I found the strength to come closer, taking a seat close to the monitoring machines, which were running silently.

The pleural effusion from which he suffered from wasn't a deadly disease if treated early, but it was still serious. I pulled the blanket down to his stomach and took a look. Near his last rib, where I previously stabbed him with my syringe, was another trace of stinging, bigger and covered by some disinfectant patches. I let my fingertips wander over his belly. His skin was a bit swollen and warm, so warm that I had to pull back my hands quickly or my cold hands would wake Yuuri up. It didn't matter. In a way, I was already satisfied. Doctors were quick and did a good job. I wrapped him with the sheets and put everything back. I let myself start thinking, relaxing my head which was now dizzy.

Now that fluids had been removed, his lungs will stop being compressed and he will be able to breathe easier. Being patient was the second and the worst part of the care, for me at least. 'Wait' . Wait again, wait more. Wait and see how things pan out while we couldn't be sure he wasn't out of danger.

In fact, there were actually two options;

The best one was that fluids were 'stuck' in the sub-abdominal cavity due to an inflammation in the internal organs, most likely caused by a virus or an internal trauma.

While the worst one was most commonly due to an organ failure breaking the natural homeostasis of the body. This option was more admitted like a symptom of a much bigger disease, making it seem like a drop in a sea, like a tree in front of a huge forest… Like the calm before the storm.

I sighed, overthinking on possibilities will not wreak the natural order, and torturing my mind wasn't helping either.I hated to admit it, but without a biological analysis to establish a diagnostic, I - like every other doctor on Earth - was useless.

I don't know how much time had elapsed, but soon the first rays of sun appeared by the little window behind me, wrapping both of us in it's soft citrus light.

I was down in the dumps, but I felt a bit better when I looked at Yuuri. Neither pain nor suffering was written on his face. He was deeply asleep, his lips slightly pressed in a cute pouting face. He seemed at peace. I didn't know if it was because of the exhaustion of the disease, or because of the painkiller, but I didn't care. I had hope.

I was thinking that I should leave him soon, returning home to sleep a bit and take a hot shower before work. Damn, why did consultations have to start so early?! That was the plan I made, but my eyes were so itchy and my head grew too heavy. I didn't want to move. I closed my eyes for a couple more seconds, searching deeply for some strength for my day, but I never stood up.