AN: Spoilers ahead for Future of Despair Chapters One, Two, and Three! Unless you have played those three DLC episodes, or have already had them spoiled for you, I'd recommend not reading this particular fic! If you have, or just don't care, then ahead you may go! Please read and review, and I hope you enjoy!
The grave stood amongst many, yet it was simple and unadorned, much like the man it was meant to represent. Only the week before his body had finally been buried alongside his former comrades that he had led so bravely into war many years ago, but there were no flowers or tokens to pay honour to the dead. Instead only a single person stood in the graveyard at the twilight hour, having taken pains to ensure she would not be seen when she paid her respects. Though no one knew her face in Ylisstol, she still wanted no one to make the connection between her presence and the grave she stood so silently in front of.
A cool wind blew, ruffling her spring-green hair around her face, and she sighed almost longingly into the breeze that carried the scent of flowers on its breath. Many of the graves she had passed by beforehand had renewed trifles of respect and love for the fallen warriors of the wars beforehand, and she was glad that the dead still had their honour. Many children like her had returned to their fallen parents' gravestones when the war had reached their end, showing their resolution as peace took the place of war and remembering the sacrifices that had led them into starting a new life.
The thought made her wince, and she raised a hand to her chest in a vain attempt to soothe the wound in her heart. Those children had each other, had their people to live amongst and help to give their life purpose, whereas she no longer had any of those things. Her dark brown eyes were full of agony as she stared the simple grave, full of tears she had not allowed herself to shed as she waited in silence and in shadow for the burial and ceremony to end days beforehand.
The service had been small, only attended by the handful who had been present at the moment of the man's death. There were many who no longer knew him, and those who did have recollection of the silver-haired man's deeds did not deem him worthy to be buried alongside his old comrades. The story of his heroism was still a secret, still being carefully nurtured by the exalt and her eleven companions, but the odd one out from their circle did not judge them for keeping the truth hidden. It was hard enough to believe that the man they had spent so much time hating, so much time fighting, had truly been the one to bring an end to the war by putting up his life to the exalt's newly Awakened sword. They could barely believe it all themselves, and to bring such a story out to the populace still trying to accept that the war was over, it would not be accepted to hear that their enemy had truly not been the real monster.
With a tender hand, she brushed away a stray leaf that had fallen on top of the cold stone. Her fingers moved down the pale face of the gravestone in a clumsy caress, and slowly she traced the carving of her father's name. There was no comfort for him to give to her now, though she long ago numbed herself to the memory of his gentle voice. She had been too used to his snarls and snaps of cold orders and bloodthirsty glares, and only that heart-stopping moment of seeing that man from a different world had brought back such thoughts to her mind.
The memory of that silver-haired man who had come from a world she did not know brought a pained sort of smile to her face, and her tears were unlocked as she recalled that a young girl who shared her face still had him in her life now that he had returned to the world where he belonged. The pain she had been silently cradling inside of her chest became too much for her to hold, and she bowed her head as her tender hand on the grave became desperate and clutching in an attempt to keep herself from falling to her knees in the freshly tilled earth.
Still, she fought back her tears reflexively. She couldn't cry. She wasn't allowed to. How much pain had others suffered at her callous hands? If only for them she had to keep her agony at bay, because to weep for herself was a selfishness she couldn't indulge. She owed too many people blood. She wasn't entitled to such luxuries of self-indulgence. So she laughed instead, a bitter and broken sound as her father's name stared back at her, and she spoke to him in a shaky whisper that she wished she could make firm, "It's... really over now... The war is done, I'm released from servitude... and I'm alone once more. I'm... alone..."
The word she hated the most was like a dagger when she spoke it, driving deep within her already broken heart and threatening to take everything that kept her alive and shatter it. She had clung to Grima because to be alone was the one thing she feared more than anything in the world, and had deluded herself that being with her father, even if he wasn't her father anymore, would be enough. Now he was dead, buried underneath her feet, and she had nowhere to return to.
Her friends no longer recognized her face, and to return to them would be an impossibility. She had set herself upon them too many times to be worthy of forgiveness, and though she knew them kind enough to embrace her, she couldn't allow it. She couldn't return home to her birthplace of Ylisstol, and the place that she had entertained returning to was still overrun by Risen and contaminated by death. She had no home. She was alone.
"I'm... completely... alone..."
A soft sound of grass being crushed underfoot behind her startled her from her thoughts, and automatically her hand flew to her hip where her sword hung from her belt. Her fingers never had the chance to touch the hilt, and her body froze in shock as she realized that the one standing in front of her had even more reason to be at the grave than she did. Her mind spun wildly, trying to make sense of what she was seeing, and before she could control herself she muttered painfully as dark chocolate-brown eyes met vibrant emerald ones, "M-Mother..."
The gentle face she remembered well softened into a smile, and the now-dead manakete that had reformed herself into a spirit nodded slowly in greeting. There was pain in her beautiful features, pain mixed with longing, and it showed in her voice as she held herself where she had halted, well out of her daughter's reach yet still close enough that there was no way to mistake her words when she murmured, "It has been a very long time, hasn't it, Morgan...? You have grown much since I last saw you. You are no longer that little child who clung so shyly to my belt when meeting strangers so many years ago."
The soft musing words were like ice to Morgan's blood, and she had no idea how to respond as she met those eyes that held her gaze in such a commanding way. Power, pure and radiant sang through her mother's form, both drawing and repelling her daughter as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing. She had known Grima had struck her mother down not even two weeks before, and that somehow Cail had ensured his wife's spirit would remain behind in the world to take on Naga's role.
Still, as she examined Tiki standing so plainly in the graveyard in the warm twilight, there seemed to be no sign that she was a spirit and not alive. The wind gently blew at her hair, moving her gentle pink cloak back and forth and causing her face to redden a little in the cold autumn day. The necklace hanging about her throat glittered in the dying sunlight in unison with the ring on her left hand, and though she knew it foolish, Morgan couldn't help but whisper, "But you're... You're dead..."
"I'm afraid so, my sweet. It is only my spirit you see before you now." Tiki sighed with soft regret, and the old endearment Morgan remembered so fondly was still every bit as loving and warm as it used to be when she used it now. Raising a hand, she tucked her bangs behind her ear and watched her daughter standing so shakily in front of her husband's grave, and her heart gave a fierce and angry throb of pain at the sight.
Though she had known it to be the truth, having it confirmed only worsened her hurt. Wrapping her arms about herself to suppress her urge to shiver, Morgan averted her gaze from her mother's face and tried to remember that the woman in front of her was no longer simply Tiki. She was an oracle no more, but rather a completely different entity akin to a goddess. She turned a little to the side, focussing instead on Cail's grave to give herself an excuse not to look at the woman who had not moved any closer, or further away from her since she had appeared. "Why... did you show yourself to me?"
"You were calling for me." Tiki answered her simply, as if that alone was enough of a reason to appear when she was forbidden from meddling with human affairs. She closed her eyes, an expression of pain flickering across her face as she raised a hand to touch her heart when she continued quietly, painfully, "Even now... Though you try so hard to deny it, I can hear you crying. Your pain is so great... I could not ignore it even if I wanted to... and I never would. You said you were alone... but you made that claim too quickly."
The words were sweet, meant to offer her comfort and acceptance, but Morgan shrank away instinctively from that kindness. They broke the dam within her chest, unleashing emotions and words she had worked so hard to keep contained in order to keep a handle on her sanity. Whirling around, her eyes spitting fire, she snarled at the figure who never flinched back, who never let her expression flicker as everything came undone within her child, "My master is dead! Father is dead! You're no longer my mother, you've become the new Naga for this world! My friends don't recognize me, and I don't want them to know what became of me! I can't go home because I have no home to go back to! There's nothing left for me! I'm alone! I'm completely and utterly alone!"
She collapsed to her knees, unable to keep herself upright as tears sprang to her eyes and rolled unchecked down her cheeks. Clutching desperately at her chest as the pain threatened to rip her from the inside out, Morgan found herself crying for the first time in years. The sensation of release was alien, and it frightened her more than anything she had ever experienced as the child she had killed so long ago resurfaced within her and let out the secret wishes she could no longer contain, "I don't want to be alone anymore... I'm tired of being alone...! I just...! I want to go home!"
Every sob ripped through her body until she was shaking uncontrollably, and her breathing hitched painfully inside of her throat as she wondered if she was finally dying. The agony was just too much for her, and with nothing to keep her anchored together she was glad if she could die this way, even if it was a miserable and pathetic end.
Yet there was no sign of her heart stopping or her consciousness fading. Her sobs wracked her body and she hunched in further of herself, her fingers digging through her tattered cloak and into her skin until she drew blood. Then she was being embraced, and she felt herself being drawn gently into warm arms as a soft hand stroked back her hair in a soothing gesture she had forgotten in her years of agonizing servitude. There was no more resistance she could put up, and though she hated herself for her weakness she clung desperately to her mother as she was held like a child.
Kneeling on the ground, Tiki held Morgan close, nuzzling against her hair and keeping her gentle grip as her daughter's warm tears splashed freely on her neck. Morgan no longer could struggle, and was finally letting go every agony she had silently been carrying on her thin shoulders. Tiki ran her hand rhythmically through her daughter's short hair, keeping her other arm firmly wrapped about her shaking shoulders to hold her against her chest. Morgan wrapped her own arms desperately about her waist, clinging tight as if she was scared when the embrace ended that she would never feel such a thing again. "Mom...!"
Her daughter was still just a child, and the sight of such earnest and untainted torment struck down Tiki's broken heart and allowed her to shed her own tears. She also had lost too much in the past few days, and only her sense of duty to the world, to the memory of her husband, had kept her fighting to stay strong. The man she loved was dead, partly by her own hand no less, her child was out of her reach, and any sense of a future she had longed for was now gone.
Cradling Morgan close, Tiki nuzzled further against her hair and let her own tears fall soundlessly down her cheeks. Her daughter's hold tightened, her sobs hot and broken as she bowed her head against Tiki's neck, and for a brief moment in time they let all ties of allegiance, power, and obligation fall away from themselves. They were simply a mother and daughter, grieving for their loved ones who were taken too soon and needing comfort from each other.
Softly, ever so softly, Tiki whispered into Morgan's ear as her fingers moved lovingly through the thick and unmanageable curls that her child had inherited from her father, "It's all right, my sweet... It will be all right. You aren't alone. While I cannot remain at your side, I am always with you in your heart. Whenever you close your eyes and think of me... You will hear my voice. I am in your heart, Morgan... and you will forever be in mine. I promise you that our bond will never be sundered in this life, or the next."
Tightening her grip even further, Morgan found herself unable to believe the sweet words she wanted to more than anything. The world around her had crumbled too brutally to give her something as simple as trust and hope, and she answered in a pained sob as her fingers dug into the back of her mother's cloak, "Do you promise?"
"I promised to find you when you left me. I promised never to stop loving you, no matter what happened when you walked away. Though it took me much longer than I hoped it would, I have kept my word." Tiki reminded her gently, and she pulled away ever so slightly so she could finally meet her child's eyes. Tears shone in both of their gazes, but Tiki smiled as she raised a gentle hand to brush away the streaks of moisture that coloured Morgan's pale cheeks crimson.
That face Morgan had now, broken and forlorn reminded her of the one she had worn that day when Grima had come for her child and taken her away without effort. Struck down and unable to get up because of the spell that had caught her off guard, Tiki had been forced to watch as Morgan had taken Grima's outstretched hand and turned her back on her mother, desperate to cling to the father she loved so dearly. She hadn't protested her daughter's choice, knowing she and her child were only being spared because of what Grima wanted from Morgan, but she had sworn that day to Grima's retreating back that she wouldn't ever stop looking for her.
Now as she held her child's face in her hand and studied her growth and the pain that haunted her, Tiki reminded herself that she had kept her promise. She would never break a word she made to her child, and she now had the power to ensure it. Moving her thumb gently to catch the last tear Morgan shed, Tiki asked her quietly, "Do you believe I can keep this promise as well?"
Staring into Tiki's eyes and remembering that moment she had been told to go but to remember that her mother loved her and would never stop looking for her... Morgan found her doubts vanishing like smoke on the wind. She nodded, finding strength seeping into her voice as she spoke just as quietly but firmly, "I believe you... I know you'll keep it."
"That's the answer I was hoping for." Tiki smiled gently, and she leaned forward to kiss Morgan's forehead before giving her another long and firm hug. Then she moved gracefully to her feet, holding her hand out for Morgan to take in silent offer to help her up. Morgan took it without hesitation, pulling herself upright with an easy movement that proved her strength and her determination even as her eyes became soft and warm again.
Then Morgan turned back to the grave, and longing flickered through her face as she reached out to touch her father's name again. She sighed and slouched a little, but the weight upon her shoulders seemed to have lessened somewhat since she had finally allowed herself to cry after so long. Her voice however was smaller than normal still as she traced the capital 'C' in her father's name with her index finger, "Where do I go from here, Mother...? For the first time, I don't have a purpose anymore. I'm lost. I don't know what to do."
"What is it that you want to do?"
The question caught Morgan off guard, proving that she hadn't been asked such a thing in a very long time. Pausing, Morgan frowned noticeably as she tried to think. What she wanted were things she could not have, and she cast them aside without thought because to wish for things out of her reach only brought her pain in the end. As she stared at the grave and took comfort from her mother's presence at her side, she spoke impulsively but honestly, "I want... to redeem myself from all of the evil I've done in Grima's name. Every sin I've ever committed... I want to pay it all back by doing good for this world."
Though she knew the offer would be rejected, Tiki still could not help but give the advice she wanted so badly for her daughter to take. It pained her to know Morgan would shoulder her burdens still on her own until she felt she was "clean", but as one who had committed more sins than she wanted to remember, Tiki understood her daughter's drive better than most even as she suggested quietly, "If your heart is that resolute, you could rejoin the children in Ylisstol."
The thought was tempting, but Morgan shook her head as she cast it aside as quickly as all of the other wants she had beforehand. She could not rejoin the twelve children in Ylisstol who had such promising and good lives ahead of them. She wasn't one of them. Her destiny was no longer entwined with theirs. "No... I can't. They're heroes... I'm not like them. Maybe one day, when I've done enough to be worthy of them again... then I can show my face in Ylisstol. But not now. For now... I'll just do what I can. I'll start small... but eventually... I want to rebuild our home on Mount Prism."
Tiki smiled warmly, having expected such words but touched all the same that Morgan would so firmly want to undo every horror Grima had ever done to their old home. Yet... It left no hope for a future, and she couldn't help but ask softly, sadly, "But will you live there? You have every right, and every power necessary to take up my role as the Voice of the Divine Dragon. In that way, you could heal much of the damage done to the world."
Blinking in surprise, Morgan turned to see her mother watching her with sad but serious eyes. She hadn't thought of such a thing, and it showed on her face as she tried to digest the suggestion. She was a dragonkin even if she rarely fought as one, and though she wouldn't have lived as long as her mother would, she did have a lifespan much longer than any human. Her connection with the new Naga was stronger than any living being on the world could ever claim. It was a role well within her reach if she wanted it. "Me... The new Voice?"
"You are my daughter. The role is yours by right, as it was to me as Naga's child." Tiki answered with a little nod, but her eyes were hard with old pain and seriousness. It wasn't a role she wanted to put upon her child's shoulders, but since the choice had never occurred to Morgan it was her duty as both her mother and as the new Naga of the world to show it to her. "It would not be an easy role for you... but all the same, you are the prime candidate. As my child, you have the power to purify Mount Prism and once more make it the grounds of the Divine Dragon. If you choose it, you could perform the role of the new Voice, as I have become the new Naga."
"I don't think I'm worthy. I was Grima's servant... I can't become Naga's Voice. The people would revolt if they heard of my past, and that would in turn cause them to turn away from Naga. I can't shame you by becoming your oracle." Morgan disagreed with a sad shake of her head, but in her eyes was honest regret that she could not do anything for her mother by way of becoming her priestess. "It's a pleasant thought, but I'm not really suited for it. I'll just have to do on my own. Though, if you keep your promise, I won't really be alone. That's enough for me. I don't need to be your oracle to be near you. I'll work in my own way to heal the world from Grima's scars. A way that will finally make me proud and erase my shame for all of the things I've done."
Her eyes glittering fiercely, Morgan rested a warm hand on her father's grave and turned to look at her mother evenly for the first time since they had met again. She lifted her chin, a stubborn sort of gleam entering her face as she told her in no uncertain terms, "I'm going to make Father, and you, proud of me one day. I have a lot of work ahead of me... and it may take more centuries than I want to count... but I swear... I am going to make you proud to claim me as your daughter again, Mother."
"I am proud of you, Morgan."
Morgan smiled weakly, even though she was happy to hear the words she couldn't allow herself to believe them. She was dirty, and the blood on her hands could never be washed away. She had much to do before she could truly look her mother in the eye and claim herself as her daughter. Both of her parents were heroes beyond measure, and she would do everything she could in her lifetime to become even one step closer to their greatness.
Still... Forcing her feelings of resolve down, she let herself succumb to her childish desires for one last moment. She understood her mother could not be with her forever, and she needed that last long embrace to keep herself anchored to the world if she was to survive on her own. Stepping forward, she embraced Tiki fiercely, burying her face in her fragrant hair and inhaling deep to steady herself and bolster her courage. Her mother returned the embrace just as hard, gripping tight and squeezing firmly, and Morgan whispered firmly into her hair as the warmth sank through her skin and bone to melt away the last vestiges of ice in her heart, "You can't come running to me the next time I call for you, and I understand that. You're Naga now... and you can't meddle in human affairs. I won't become your Voice... but no one will ever serve you like I will. I swear to all of the gods I will do you every honour possible. But just for this moment... Can you be my mother and tell me that everything will be all right when I leave so I can smile when I say goodbye?"
Hating herself for what she had done, and what she would do, Tiki tightened her hold fiercely on her trembling child and fought down every impulse she had to promise that she would answer her child's call no matter what. She couldn't break away from the laws that governed her now as Naga, and though it hurt, Morgan was showing her the honest level of her understanding and compassion. She wouldn't cry and beg, but would remain strong and steady as her parents had before her, only asking for a brief instant of yearning before she would steel herself and set out on her own.
Fighting down the knot of tears that such strength from her daughter brought to her, Tiki obeyed that wish with every ounce of her heart and soul. She kept her voice steady, strong, and returned Morgan's whisper with a firm voice that cost her more than she ever would admit, "Everything will be all right, my sweet... You are strong... and you will succeed in whatever you put your mind to. I believe that. I will always be watching over you... Always. I love you."
"I love you, too... Mom." Morgan murmured, and she gave her mother one last hard squeeze as she committed everything to memory. The strong and firm arms that held her so gently as if she would break if pressed too close, the sweet smell of honeysuckle that clung to her clothes and hair, and the voice that was much too gentle for such a cruel world all belonged to her mother, and she never would forget an instant of this embrace. She would need it to carry her through the future, and she would always keep it locked away securely in her heart and mind. "I will make you proud of me. I promise."
Then she was ripping herself away, forcing down her tears, and swallowing her pain as she turned tail and ran. Tiki watched her go, feeling every fibre of her body yearning to give chase as she held herself still. Only when she reached the entrance of the graveyard did she halt, and even from the distance Tiki could see the sparkling trail of tears on Morgan's young face. Her voice however was hard, resolute and almost challenging as she yelled out to the emerald-eyed mother she'd left behind, "Next year I'm coming back on the same day, and every year after that! I'll show you exactly how much I've grown then! Wait for me until then, Mom!"
Smiling painfully, Tiki only nodded, knowing she had no answer for such a claim. She knew her child would prove herself the better of both of her parents with time, she had known it the second she'd realized she was pregnant, and there was simply no room for doubt. Morgan turned again and continued running, letting the distance swallow her form and disappearing into the hillside in the opposite direction of Ylisstol. Tiki knew she could reach out her senses and discover her child's intentions and emotions, but she refrained. She didn't need to know. Morgan was stronger than she ever had been in her living days, and would succeed in whatever she put her mind to.
Sighing, Tiki turned back to the grave that she hadn't had a chance to properly visit. In a way, she had almost been keeping herself from it as she sensed Morgan coming closer and closer to the spot where her father had been buried. She wanted to see her child first, to assure herself that her daughter would be okay face-to-face, and now that she had done it... She could meet Cail without regret and pain haunting her heart and steps.
As her daughter had before her, Tiki reached out and gently pressed her hand against the carving of her husband's name. The deep gouges in the stone were cold underneath her palm, but she savoured the chill as it reminded her of what she would miss without her earthly form. She could not keep it for long, she knew she only had a handful of minutes left in this borrowed body now that her spirit was free, and she murmured quietly to the man buried underneath her feet, "She's so much like you, my love... Yet stronger than the both of us combined. I'm only sorry I have to see her go like this. If I regret anything in my life, it's the fact that I will not be able to mother her as I wanted to. There was so much I wanted to give her... and I cannot do that now."
Still, there was a painful sort of hope as she remembered those warriors that had been summoned before her. That stricken face of the man who had not been her husband as his hand tightened noticeably about the wrist of the woman that hadn't been her. The way those two stood so fiercely together, protecting one another and their daughter... She wished them all the luck that had been absent in her life. "Happiness evaded us in this world... but in another, I believe we found what we earned here. I hope they have every happiness we could not... and I hope their future is bright and long."
A whisper against her cheek that she couldn't really feel startled her, but before she could move she felt something warm touch her back and wrap around her waist. The sharp and comforting scent of parchment and steel invaded her senses, and for a moment she wondered if she was dreaming. Then that touch moved to her cheek, a soft nuzzling sensation she hadn't felt for ages, and the warmth of breath on her sharpened ear brought tears to her eyes as she whispered in disbelief, "Cail...?"
"What was it you were saying about making claims a little too quickly?"
AN:
I swear, I was torn between epic happiness and epic pissed-off-ness at the end of the Future of Despair trilogy. -sigh- The initial reaction was: "Yeah, finally... Their world deserves this!" and then the fridge-logic kicked in. Where exactly is Morgan in all of this...? And yes, it's nice to see Chrom and Cail (and Skye in other cases, lol) kicking around as spirits and keeping an eye on their kids... But what exactly about Tiki as the new Naga and her potential husband who is now dead and her disappeared daughter? (Keep in mind this is just my game only, lol. This won't apply to many others, seeing as the other spouses are seen as dead at this point, or assumed to be dead...)
So, that's where this fic came in. Morgan as Grima's servant was something I had expected, so I wasn't surprised, though it did leave me wondering about a lot of things that could be explored in-fic. Firstly was the chronological order of everything happening, though I guess with a different world not connected to the original world's canon, it doesn't really need to make as much sense... and with a female avatar as both Lucina and Morgan's mother, it could play the exact same way as the original bad future if the avatar was pregnant at the time of killing Chrom... (Which plays badly with the brain...) But for the males and their wives... Well, there goes my head.
It was especially difficult for me as a TikixAvatar shipper, since I was like: "Dude, WHY?!" Then I laughed and realized I just have a thing for picking doomed couples. So, the Future of Despair trilogy was extremely painful to play as both a shipper, and a general lover of Tiki... and as such, I had to write this fic to make myself happy. (Even though it's technically angsty as a general thing, with a sprinkle of hope for Tiki but not so much for Morgan...)
But damn me if I was going to play that Xenologue and not have something to write about it. XD This however was totally not what I had in mind for it, but that's how it came out and I kinda want to stick with it. It's an odd parallel to "Coming Home" now that I think about it. It was interesting to write for a different world from the original and see how things could go considering that, but it was also very difficult, so I don't think I'll be doing it again. Still, I'm glad I wrote this, though it did distract me from the fic I had planned to write earlier.
Next is my anticipated multi-chaptered work to celebrate my 35th published story on FFN... And I still don't know who it'll be based on. It's either TikixCail or SkyexChrom, of course with mentions of other couples as I go on... Any preferences for who it'll be on? :3
Mood: Annoyed
Listening To: "Hand of Sorrow" - Within Temptation
~ Sky