I've been working for over a month, constantly getting bored with it and thus changing the plot a dozen times. The inspiration was Save Me From Myself by Christina Aguilera. It was originally going to be songfic, but I changed that too. Enjoy!
"Now that I think about it, Sam, maybe you were right all along. I'm not strong enough for you, neither physically or mentally," he shrugged, "Though, knowing you I don't doubt you'll find someone better."
"Than?"
"Me…"
She half laughed, "For?"
"You. Sam." He responded seriously, countering her laughing tone and letting it sink in.
And it did; Sam carefully released her ham sandwich from being devoured. She stood up and stepped towards him, "What are you talking about, Benson?"
He started shaking his head, but then sighed, "I can't be your tough protector, because we both know while you're out breaking bones, I'm wearing antibacterial underpants. I can't be your shoulder to lean on because you don't cry—though-the-times-you-do-shall-never-be-spoken-about-and even in those times I never get by you on time. Heck, I thought I at least had the intelligent part of it yet, next thing I know, you've remodeled the iCarly site overnight 'out of boredom'." He searched for more words, but then decided to leave it there.
She lowered her eyelids; she hadn't realized one night of boredom had torn down his entire ego. "…That doesn't suddenly make me smarter than you."
"Yeah? Well, what about those other things? I'm 100% lame."
"You're not—"
"I'm a noob, a nerd, a weakling…"
"Freddie—"
He picked up speed, "A loser, a retard, a mama's boy!"
"Seriously dude, quit that," she menaced.
"Sam, I'm already doing you a favor by insulting myself, don't make it worse by denying it. Despite my 4.0, I can be so stu"- This wasn't the first time this happened. When she'd last interrupted him with a kiss, just a month or so ago, he'd realized her feelings for him. Non-hatred feelings!
At first, it was just another fact to add into their strange friendship, and then it was... this. But life wasn't filled with daisies and butterflies. He'd finally realized how blinded he must have been to somehow believe he could actually be with Sam. As her boyfriend. Her other half! In all seriousness, who was he kidding? Sam wasn't half of anything! But he now dismissed these self-doubts to focus on the doubtless, enjoyable aspect of their relationship. Like this kiss.
As he started to feel the separation of their impromptu kiss, he forced his eyes to remain closed a moment longer. To remain in this perfect world where it was just about getting lost without a second thought. All love and nothing hurts. No tears he couldn't dry, fights he couldn't win, or secrets he couldn't understand. Just Sam and Freddie, a moment longer.
But not long enough. "I don't need any of those things."
"You need someone better," he said in a tone he'd probably used to convince a child to go to the dentist.
Sam slightly rolled her eyes, "I need you." She bit her tongue from adding 'dork' at the end. She didn't think that would help him feel better. Yes, he was a dork, that wasn't news but he was her dork, why couldn't he get that?
In a way, she sympathized with him—which was a new concept to her—she had never doubted herself more than in those moments after their first and second kiss. Each time, she was convinced he would have much rather kissed Carly, or have Carly unveil such a confession. What he didn't understand was the level of courage he'd given her by not only accepting her, but also returning those feeling.
Yeah, they still bickered and spit snarky comments anywhere they could. But this time he knew she didn't mean it out of hatred; she wasn't that blonde-headed demon anymore. She was his, and that's all she wanted to be. That's all that mattered.
"You need someone who can keep up with you." He continued to add to his nonsense list.
She groaned; this sympathizing thing was running low. "I'm not going anywhere!"
He stubbornly shook his head, "You know that's not what I mean."
"No, I don't know. In fact, I have no clue what you're blabbering on about, Fredweirdo."
He didn't push it, and let his eyes go out of focus wishing his life could go out of focus for a few moments. He shivered slightly from a breeze passing through the window, and instinctively glanced at Sam to make sure she was okay, which of course she was. He knit his eyebrows, but couldn't look away in time when she caught his concerned stare.
"Don't tell me you need me to break down in sobs, or carry me home in the middle of the night to feel like my little hero?" This was her way of lightening up the situation. He smirked and shook his head.
She hadn't lightened up the mood; instead, Freddie felt his internal organs heave with the realization that she was right. Carly falling in love with him for saving her life had been the best feeling in the world, but even he had to come to terms that it wasn't true love at the time and would never be with Carly; by now, he was perfectly fine with that because- he wouldn't have dared say this about a year ago—he had Sam.
But that was just it, he had her. What did she have?
He realized he had spaced out for a while when she spoke up again, "I'm not going to do either of those things. Not because of pride, or that I'm afraid of you seeing me cry, but because I just don't. Don't lie to yourself, you know that. You've always known that. I don't know why it suddenly became an issue in the middle of my ham sandwich." She cracked a smile—another joke. Before he could attempt to fake a smile, she continued. "The good thing though, is that I know if I ever do need a rescue, I'll know who to call." With another flick of her smile, she made her way back to the table where her sandwich awaited.
Freddie remained paralyze against the fridge, where he'd been standing for the last few minutes. "How do you know I'll be there?"
"Why wouldn't you be?" When he didn't answer, she shrugged, "You always are. In the non-creepy way of course. "
He closed his eyes perhaps to catch a glimpse of his withering soul, "Am I?" It was her turn not to answer. He wondered if he'd only mumbled it or if Sam was too engrossed in her sandwich to care for the rest of his questions. "…Sam?"
"Please shut up," she stated in between bites.
He remained silent for a minute before involuntarily sighing, "I don't know why I bother."
Although he was sure his voice had come out in a bare whisper, her abrupt turn and storming march towards him made him think she had heard him. She flattened her hands against the fridge, trapping him in the middle. Her stare remained menacing, but the way she bit the insides of her cheek and blinked more than necessary lessened any menace she meant to make him feel. They locked eyes for the longest second; he thought she was going to kiss him again and mentally prepared himself not to fall for it. Not this time; he'd keep his ground against her soft lips.
"I love you." Once again their roles were inversed, he felt like fainting while she maintained control of the situation. "I have many reasons why, but you know what? I'm not going to tell you a single one of them right now because if I didn't have those reasons I wouldn't be here. You didn't fool me into dating you, Benson." She paused as he regained the blood in his face. "Now, with that, you may leave or you may stay."
He knew she didn't want it to, but her voice cracked ever so slightly with her final statement. But he didn't care about the ultimatum. He didn't need to hear her reasons. She loved him.
He grinned, "I love you too, Ms. Puckett." She gave him a bored shrug yet looked away to hide the smile creeping on her face. "I couldn't leave you if my life depended on it."
She slowly nodded, "I could make your life depend on it, you know?"
"Oh I know," he chuckled. "But I'm not a fool either."
She relinquished her stare, her tense shoulders also dropping, and reverted to the table. "Right.…"
"Sam. Of all conversations, I'd like to think we can end our 'I love yous' on a good note?"
"You like to think too much, that's what got us in this crap conversation in the first place. Now you best turn off your brain and let me enjoy my ham, please and thank you."
He laughed and joined her at the table, the idea of leaving never crossing his mind again.
Guys, I'm on a Seddie roll. Enjoy it while it lasts, haha, review! xoxCamy