In a universe where Voldemort had been permanently destroyed many years ago, strange unusual events were unheard of, especially when involving Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. These three were as happy as can be in their normal everyday teenage lives….. well….. Mostly happy.
He was disgusting, they were disgusting, in every corridor, in every room, always in front of people who did not want to see. Their disgusting nicknames ('Won Won!' 'Lav Lav!') and disgusting habits. The disgusting way he puts his hands on her back while he is disgustingly eating her tongue. The way she giggles ('Won Won!), in a disgusting high pitched squeak and the way he chuckles ('Lav Lav!'), in that disgusting low pitched bark. Hermione Granger was disgusted. And absolutely sick of it.
The very least they could do is avoid people while they make out ('Won Won!' 'Lav Lav!'). But no, they decide they'll eat each other's faces in the middle of bloody breakfast. Hermione was even disgusted in how much they disgusted her. ('God fucking damn I'm going to be sick!') She didn't cuss! It wasn't like her! But no, all this disgust is making her loose her mind. ('Harry, how long would it take for them to freeze if I shut them out of the castle?') ('It's almost June, Hermione') The amount of disgust she displayed at seeing the disgusting sight had even started to disgust her already disgusted friends, and she could tell. ('Ginny they are disgusting! I'm telling you! It's affecting the entire castles sanity!') ('Hermione, no offence but would you shut up?')
The disgust was becoming unbearably disgusting. Ron and Lavender ('Won!') constantly snogging ('Lav!') in the common room, ('Won Won!') in the great hall, ('Lav Lav!'), in class ('Won Won!' 'Lav Lav!') on the Quidditch pitch ('WON WON!') in the library ('LAV LAV!'), in the spare classrooms ('WON WON!' 'LAV LAV!'). Hermione Granger had had enough. ('WON WON!' 'LAV LAV!'). ('WON WON!' 'LAV LAV!').
"ENOUGH" Hermione screamed in the middle of the great hall. Ron and Lavender stopped sucking each other's faces and turned to her immediately, shocked. "If you are going to fucking snog, do not. I repeat. DO NOT DO IT AT DINNER!" The whole school turned, to watch the scandal unfold. Her face grew red, her books clasped tightly in her hands ready to attack at any given moment.
"Hermione are you afraid of kissing?" Ron asked, trying to impress his girlfriend. Wrong move.
"RONALD. WEASLEY. YOU. ARE. GOING. TO. FUCKING. DIE. YOU. BLOODY. IMBECILE. I. HATE. YOU!" Hermione screamed, hitting Ron over the head with The Highly Advanced Book of Potions Grade 18. The entire hall gaped, except for Harry Potter, who snickered, when Hermione chased Ron out of the hall screaming bloody murder.
"I give it two days before Hermione gives up. Your exams are coming up soon. I'm betting she'll have to succumb to her annual study rituals." Ginny said to Harry after they finished discussing 'The Grand Hermione Explosion of May 1997.'
"I don't doubt it, but I reckon she won't be able to fall into her normal patterns like always. Not with Ron and Lavender around every corner." Harry said, trying to conceal a smirk. Nothing this entertaining had happened in while, not since Fred and George graduated.
Too right he was, in a matter of days Hermione Granger had turned into a monster of unreasonable and uncontrolled power. She yelled at everyone and anything, even being spotted cussing at a number of suits of armour. She attacked peeves on first sight, and even talked back to Professor McGonagall. The school was split, half were highly ent
ertained by the massive change in the school perfectionist, half were terrified they'd be next, especially after poor little Billburt Puffling, a Hufflepuff first year, ended up in the hospital wing after asking the estranged prefect directions to the bathroom.
Hermione was so out of control that she even was close to getting kicked out of the library. That's when Harry and Ginny knew enough was enough. They spent two nights working out a way to get her to calm down. They gathered the help of Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnegan, Dean Thomas, an overly enthusiastic Hufflepuff seventh year named Garline Trumpbucket and Luna Lovegood. On the last night before the sixth year exams they cornered the crazy Gryffindor girl and force fed her a stolen glass of Madame Pomfrey's best Calming Drought.
"Can I speak to Ron?" Hermione asked, looking completely relaxed. Harry looked at Ginny, unease written in his eyes. Ginny nodded reassuringly the calming drought should last an hour, that's more than enough.
"Yes, but no murder ok?" Harry said, looking down at the relaxed girl, who only moments ago had been plotting his own murder for even thinking about cornering her. Hermione laughed, in a very un-Hermione-ish laugh, and nodded, getting to her feet, stretching and following Harry down the corridor which he knew led to Ron's hiding spot.
The entire group followed and before they knew it they had reached the door to the spare classroom. Hermione opened the door, and was met with the disgusting sight of Ron and Lavender snogging. Again. They split apart immediately, and she could tell Ron was scared shitless, and looking for an immediate escape route. Hermione was kept calm, thanks to the potion and opened her mouth to speak, only she was interrupted by Lavender's wails of despair.
"I'm not going to kill you!" Hermione rolled her eyes. "I just want to talk to Ron." Ron looked terrified when he heard this and started rocking on the balls of his feet, his face going white.
"It's alright Ron, she's had a calming drought." Harry said. Ron only looked slightly relieved.
The occupants of the room filed out, Lavender looking glad to escape. Only once guiltily turning around to Ron mouthing 'Sorry'. Ron shook as Hermione sat down on an empty chair.
"I'm sorry." Hermione said.
"No, I am." Ron said quickly. "I shouldn't have been so annoying with Lavender."
"I shouldn't have reacted so harshly!" Hermione said.
"You're forgiven." Ron laughed.
And for the next fifty minutes they chatted away like the best friends they were, laughing, joking and discussing classes. Eventually they decided to go back to the common room, and they exited the classroom eagerly discussing the new products of Fred and George's joke shop, which Hermione surprisingly loved. They got about two corridors before Lavender Brown found them, and she ran straight into her boyfriend's arms, sobbing in relief and kissing him right on the mouth. They reunited for quite some time, all the while not noticing the silently fuming Hermione Granger, whose previously calm demeanour had evaporated on the sixtieth minute of her taking the calming drought.
They turned, love in their eyes, finally remembered there was another human in the corridor.
"Hey Hermione-" Ron started cheerfully, and then he saw her red face, murderous eyes and a large potions book in her hands.
"RUN!"
"RONALD WEASLEY, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU DISGUSTING PIG!"
Authors Note: Thanks for reading, feel free to review!
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns Harry Potter not me