((A/N: This was written for the Spn J2 xmas on livejournal as a gift. Special thanks to my beta, MrsTripTucker wh, as always, dug through my mistakes and fixed them 3. Reviews are love.))
There was an obvious flaw with blind dates, one that Jared had argued time and time again to the gay wonder couple that was commonly referred to as Tom and Mike. Jared was a side project, a lost puppy that they had so generously taken under their wing. Once they discovered that Jared's V-Card was still thoroughly unstamped it became their newest game to find the perfect man to stamp it. The problem was that, quite frankly, Jared was happy alone. He had a wonderful career that consisted of staying home and pounding the keys on his Mac book. His published work was under a commonly known pen name (Sincerely yours, Anonymous), and was known for the fiercely loyal fans that his series Once Upon a Dime had achieved. Although the story followed a dime's journey through the city and the people whose hands passed him to yet another place, the most common fandom was surrounding the love between a gay couple. Jared had heard that thousands of stories had been written about his characters, yet he still remained modest.
All in all, he was happy alone. He was happy with the life that consisted of writing and spending time with his dogs. Sure, he had moments where he was lonely, even moments where he would allow a tear or two to escape as he considered the lack of love in his life. These moments, however, were few and far between. Mostly, he spent his life filling the moments, exploring the world. It was exploring the world that had led him to Tom and Mike, one of whom had spilled hot coffee on his shirt and insisted on buying him a new one, only to insist that they then take him out to diner. Now said man was insisting that he go on a date with stranger that was supposedly gorgeous and smart. Right.
The walk to the small restaurant was cold, the air blowing right through his jacket and into his bones. By the time he pulled the door open his hands were shaking and his mood was nearly as cold as the temperature. He was not met by a host for another ten minutes and when he was, at long last, shown to his reserved table he found it empty. His date was either a half hour late or simply standing Jared up. Part of him really hoped that the guy just had better places to be, after all Jared didn't want to spend an evening with a lonely loser who was just happy for an excuse to escape the house. All the same, Jared was becoming angry as the minutes ticked by, torn between wanting to leave and hating the thought of Mike and Tom looking disappointed.
Just as he really began to consider leaving, his coat thrown over his arm as he pulled himself from the chair, a man was led to his table. The man was stunning to say the least, perfectly tinted blond hair, gleaming emeralds for eyes and a perfect stamping of freckles over pale skin. Jared was almost going into shock, right up until he remembered that however gorgeous this man was, he was still forty-five minutes late for a first date. Jared rolled his eyes and sat down once more, his eyes shifting to the table before him.
"How nice of you to join me." His voice sounded cold, borderline asshole.
"I really am sorry, my sister's kid needed to be picked up from her art class and she had an emergency, so I was the only one available. I didn't have your number to call and Mike didn't answer his phone, Tom's phone was off, really it was just bad timing." The man looked sorry enough, his eyes wide as he took a seat across from Jared.
"You know what was bad timing? Me waiting here forever for a date I didn't even want to go on." He knew how he sounded, he knew that it was a dick move but he couldn't bring himself to care. At twenty-one he still had options and staying single was one of them.
"Why bother showing up if you want t be alone that bad?" Jensen's tone was soft, a small bite of anger clashing with obvious hurt.
"Because, Tom and Mike asked me to. You know them; they are hard to say no to." Jared pulled his eyes from the table to look into the vivid green abyss of his date's eyes. "I'm Jared, winner of the asshole of the year award."
"I'm Jensen and uh I guess I won the worst first date of the year award. I really am sorry for being late." Jensen's blush was the closest thing to adorable that Jared could imagine.
"It's all good. Do you want to order? I've had a while to look over the menu and they have some food that sounds really good." Jared smiled sweetly, his cheeks dimpling perfectly.
"I think I'm going to get steak, what about you?" Jensen smiled, having not bothered to open his menu.
"Same," Jared laughed as he set the two menus down, catching the eye of a waiter who quickly asked if they were ready to order. "We would both love steaks."
"I want a baked potato with everything." Jensen chimed in, "Oh! And a beer please."
"I'll have the same." Jared chuckled before turning back to face his date. The lights in the room were catching Jensen's eyes in a way that reminded Jared of dew on soft summer leaves.
"So, Tom and Mike said you are a writer? What do you write about?" Jensen's easy smile was genuine, so unlike the smiles of most people as they asked about Jared's career.
"I write about this dime and all the people that own it at one point or another." Jared shrugged casually, his heart pounding rapidly against his ribcage. He was never sure if the person he was talking to would be a fan or hate his work. It was always a rare treat if they had never heard of his work.
"Oh gosh, I've heard about those. What are they called um Once upon a dime, right? I've been tempted to read them; I've heard they are really good. Are you writing another one?" Jensen was smiling again, his smile practically stunning Jared into silence. Eventually, the wheels began to turn in his mind, allowing him to answer after what seemed like a million years.
"Yes, I am. I…it is due in a few weeks and I haven't a clue what to write. This has never been a problem before but you know…things change as all of the good ideas that have been floating around for years are finally typed and printed." Jared was blushing slightly, ashamed at his lack of progress. Although, he had heard of authors who waited until the last possible moment to write, he had never quite understood. Writing was easy. Writing was fun. "What do you do?"
"I'm an artist too. Well, actually I just do some painting here and there but I've had some pieces sell for some pretty outrageous prices. I've managed to live off of that for a long time. I don't like to feel the pressure of a deadline weighing down on me. I like to paint with leisure, to have the art actually mean something to me. I want it to be as honest as possible."
Jensen shrugged nonchalantly, his arm moving to pull his water cup to his lips. A perfect train of the condensation trailing down his chin as the glass came into contact with the slight stubble of hair. For a moment, Jared felt an odd flip in his stomach, something breaking inside of him and craving that drop of water. It took all of his will power not to swipe his finger, or better yet his tongue, across the perfect skin before him. Fortunately, the table placed just enough distance between them that he was able to resist.
"I feel the same way about writing; I want everything to be honest so I usually write when I really feel the need. I used to feel that a lot more but recently…I've had a different story in mind. Something that does not have to do with a dime; I'm so sick of dimes." Jared was really just filling the silence, his eyes locked on the perfect face sitting before him. For a moment he wondered if love at first sight were indeed true. The thought was pushed away almost as quickly as it came.
"Then write about that! Do it, just run where the ideas take you and never let a deadline hold you back. I'm at this point you've probably made enough of a name for yourself or um your pen name that any publisher would kill to publish something of yours." Jensen was smiling again, but now it seemed warped, almost condescending.
"That is easier said then done." Jared could feel himself shifting into defensive mode, slowly shifting back in his chair to create space between the two of them.
"Not really. Just do it." Jensen's eyes rolled, as though he found it funny that Jared simply didn't understand. "If I can do it, you can do it."
"Well I'm not you. Some people can simply change everything and go out on a limb hoping that everything will work out. I'm not built to change, even coming here was hard for me." Jared's voice was lower than usual, a defensive tone changing the meaning of all of his words. The accusations hanging in the air were thick enough to cut with a knife.
"Whatever, stay writing the same old thing until your name looses all value. You'll be the next Stephen King." Jensen looked visibly shocked at the words that had left his mouth, his eyes shifting around the room as though he were attempting to find the trail that had lead the conversation to this point.
"Fuck you. I knew this was a bad idea! You're a dick just like I thought you would be and this date is going no where just like I thought it would." Jared was standing before he felt his legs pull him from the chair.
"At least my life isn't stagnant, so stale that people have to set me up on fucking dates. This was a favor and right now I wish I had said no." Jensen moved to stand across from Jared, glaring up at the younger man with those perfect emerald eyes. "Have a nice life."
XOXO
The night was cold, a bit too cold for Jared's tastes, yet he could not remove himself from the open window. Part of him could still feel the craving to kiss Jensen; the rest of him could only feel anger. He knew that it was his own insecurities that had ruined the evening; his own desperate need to control his life. He hadn't even made it to the meal before everything came crashing down. Distantly he could hear the angry voicemail featuring his favorite gay couple scolding him for ruining his chances with a supposedly nice guy. He was also informed that he was expected to report to their condo promptly at noon for a full run down of the entire evening. Jared could already tell he would be scolded and possibly set up with another gay man. Part of him couldn't help but feel disappointed that he would never have to look into those stunning eyes again, most of him was happy he would never have to feel scrutinized by the gorgeous man.
Nothing had changed by morning; the circles under his eyes informing him that he had not slept well at all. Those green eyes were haunting his mind, constantly judging him. Even as he sat down at his computer he couldn't bring his fingers to move, to type the word dime for the millionth time in his short years. Panic began to build as he thought about his looming deadline, of the contract he had signed. Everything was falling apart and it was all because he had decided to go on a stupid blind date with a man who obviously did not even want to be there. Everything felt too broken for the mundane situation.
The walk to Tom and Mike's house felt like routine, but as his legs brought him closer a fear began to steadily build. Once again, he was afraid of being judged. He couldn't help it if he liked routine, if he was meant to spend his life alone with his computer. Everything had been fine before Jensen and everything would be fine again just as soon as he learned to forget the splattering of freckles and the eyes that had made his heart flip. He was certain that it would all fade soon enough. Pretty certain. Almost certain.
The walk up the two flights of stairs took more time than usual, his feet dragging slightly as his legs carried him up and up. Each step brought him closer to his disappointed friends; to the looks he knew would be on their faces, the confusion and disappointment he would find there. All too soon the walk was over, his knuckles rapping gently against the door in the hopes that no answer would come. Of course, Mike opened the door and greeted him with a customary hug followed by a glare. His stunning friend led him inside, only to be bombarded by a glare from his friend's gorgeous lover the moment he entered the living room. It was just as he expected and he hung his head in the shame he knew they wanted him to display.
"Now, I know you had a bad time last night but I really think that it can be worked out, which is why Jensen is currently on his way over." Tom's voice was calm; his hands placed reassuringly on Jared's firm shoulders.
"No. No. No. I messed things up, and that guy was kind of a dick. We are not a good match." Jared was shaking his head to emphasize the "no", his eyes slammed close.
"Stop that, Jared. Look at me!" A firm slap snapped Jared from his trance-like objection. "There, I hate to go all gay on you and claim that you needed a bitch slap, but well, you did. Plus, it was Mike that slapped you and he is much gayer than me."
"Hey, I am not!" Mike peeked out from behind his lover, a wide grin swallowing the expanse of his face.
"Denial is one of the steps to recovering." Jared couldn't help but smile at the look on Mike's face. "Someday you'll be a real gay boy too!"
"I am a real boy! Tell him I'm a real gay boy, Tom. I do real gay things in bed! I'll show you!" Mike was already two feet in the direction of the bedroom before Tom grabbed him, only to silence him with a small kiss. Jared couldn't help but think that they really were the gay wonder couple.
"I think I'll leave you to that," Jared began sneaking towards the door, tip toeing his way along the plush carpet until he finally was able to reach out and slowly turn the doorknob. The moment the door opened he regretted it, half tempted to simply shut the door in Jensen's face. What he was unprepared for was his hand pushing the door closed slowly, his eyes locked with those brilliant jade ones.
"Did you just dramatically shut the door on our friend? You did, didn't you? Tsk tsk Jared. Now, you go sit on the couch and I'll do the polite thing and invite him inside." Mike was laughing as he opened the door to reveal a wide-eyed Jensen, a soft blush making his freckles practically disappear.
"Wow, and I thought he was an asshole last night. What is that guy's problem? And, what happened to you guys just wanting to hear what happened? I'm not being tricked into going on another date with him." Jensen was still just outside the threshold, speaking as though Jared could not hear him.
"Well, I'll have you know I feel just as tricked as you. No one informed me I would have to deal with you until it was too late." Jared rolled his eyes before settling back into the couch. These were his friends, not Jensen's.
"They were my friends first, you know." Jensen pushed Mike aside, moving to sit across from Jared, a glare painted on his beautiful features.
"Sure they were." Jared as being petty but really, it was Jensen who started it.
"No, they really were. They've been dating since high school and I met them in 10th grade. That means…hold your breath…I've known them longer." Jensen was smirking, a small half smile pulling at his lips.
"Then why have I never once heard of you?" Jared's face was blank, his demeanor calm.
"I was traveling Europe for a few years, completely out of touch." Jensen shrugged, all confidence and charisma.
"Yeah, pick up any fun diseases while you were away?" Jared's eyes flicked down dramatically to Jensen's crotch.
"At least I actually have had sex, unlike some I could name." Jensen laughed as he looked down at Jared's crotch, "Although, I pin you as a bottom."
"Okay then children, how about we try and be civil. There is no need to call names or point fingers." Mike was shaking his head, Tom simply staring at both of them.
"I wasn't aware that we knew any children, but it would seem you proved me wrong Mike." Tom shook his head before taking a seat on the opposite side of the L couch from Jared.
"Apparently, when you stick two grown men in the same room and there is obvious sexual tension they simply return to the elementary school way of flirting. Next thing you know we will be putting one of them in the corner for hitting the other." Mike's eyes continued to travel back and forth between Jensen and Jared, his expression that of a concerned parent.
"I'm not acting like a child, besides, he started it." Jared could feel a pout pulling at his lips.
"That right there was childish, he started it? Yeah. Right. You wish I would have started something, but I didn't and now you are just pissed that you missed out on all of this." Jensen's hands traveled down the length of his chest, his tongue licking at his lips dramatically. Jared simply stared at the man before him, his pulse quickened with either anger or lust; really it could have been either.
"I hate you." Jared's words sounded colder than he expected, something inside of him snapping with each syllable. He couldn't tell if he actually hated the man or simply wanted him to leave him be.
"Yeah, well I hate you more." Jensen was gritting his teeth, practically spitting the words.
"Oh, look who is being mature now! Really nice, Jensen." Jared shook his head, pulling himself from the couch in one swift movement. "I think you should leave. They may have been your friends first but they are mine now so back the fuck off."
"Do you kiss your lover with those lips? Oh! That's right, you don't have one!" Jensen was standing, his chin tilted up to stare at his newfound enemy.
"At least I have discretion with who I sleep with."
"You must be very picky then; I mean, going on blind dates really shows that." Jensen's hands came up to push Jared hard on the chest, moving him half an inch before Jared's hands came up to slam into Jensen's chest.
"You're a dick." Jared practically growled the words, his voice so low he hardly recognized the sound as his own.
"Great comeback, you're so smooth. Gosh, my little heart is breaking." Jensen moved to stand closer, his anger boiling over and tumbling off in waves.
Jared could feel things change, the buzz in the air suddenly changing into an electric current. Fury was mixing with the sexual tension, creating a unique blend of need and hate. Jared was slamming into Jensen with all of his weight before his mind could really comprehend the feeling of warmth spreading along the places his body came into contact with the smaller man's. His fist was pulled back, his eyes locked in on Jensen's, only seeing red as anger blinded him. The pounding sound of bone and flesh colliding broke through the air. He could feel a return hit against his eye, the flesh already swelling.
"That is it! Stop it now!" Tom's voice broke Jared from his trance, his fist hovering over Jensen's face. "I will not have you two damaging my furniture; if you want to fight I would like you to take it outside. Or, you could stop fighting and go make us lunch while Tom and I clean up the mess you made of our living room." Tom motioned to the coffee table that had been overturned during the tussle. Random items and magazines were tossed along the plush carpet; a glass vase was shattered, leaving glass chunks all along the floor. Jared felt the instant sting of guilt.
"I am so sorry!" Eyes wide, Jared couldn't help but stare down in shame.
"Could you get off of me, you Sasquatch?" Jensen was staring up at Jared, his cheeks flushed and a bruise beginning to form on his cheekbones.
Jared rolled his eyes as he pulled his body free from Jensen's, a lump settling in his stomach as he mourned the loss of heat. Smiling apologetically, Jared walked towards the kitchen. Tom and Mike were always attempting to get him to cook and it was obvious that even with Jensen's presence today was no different. In a way he knew this kitchen just as well as his own, he had prepared nearly as many meals here. The door swung shut behind him, only to be opened a moment later by Jensen. For a second everything was hanging in the air, sexual tension, hate, and an odd feeling of belonging. Jared stared at the older man for a moment before opening the fridge, pulling out several items.
"I think I am going to make a Caesar salad, something easy that will get us out of here fast." Jared shrugged as he began to wash vegetables.
"Yeah, 'cause the idea of staying in the same room with you for too much longer makes me want to gag." Jensen awkwardly shuffled his feet awkwardly before finally moving to lean against the wall, faking a cool.
"Whatever. Just cut these up while I cook the chicken." Jared tossed the wet greens onto the counter, water splashing onto Jensen and clinging gently to his hair. A small drop ran its way down his cheek, leaving Jared with a familiar need to lick the droplet away.
"I am capable of cooking I'll have you know." Jensen glared as he pulled a knife from the wooden holder, tempted to hold the knife up to threaten the other man.
"Yeah, well just hurry up so I can leave." Jared began to slice the chicken, throwing the slices into a skillet with olive oil.
The room was silent except for the sounds of sizzling meat and veggies being chopped. The constant repetition of the sounds combined to make the silence even more hallowed. For a moment Jared wondered if under different circumstances they might have been friends. He couldn't help but wish that things could be changed, that he could fix the tension hanging in the air. Yet, the condescending look in Jensen's eyes was haunting him, preventing change. Time dragged on, seconds feeling like hours until at last Jared simply gave in, letting the anger win over regret.
"Are we almost ready in here?" Mike popped his head into the room, his blue eyes scanning for broken objects. "I was actually a bit worried I wouldn't have a kitchen left."
"Yeah, well I'm done chopping over here. Can I leave now?" Jensen stared at Mike expectantly; hope shimmering in his sea green eyes.
"Of course not. Why would you want to leave when the fun is just beginning?" Mike laughed as he disappeared from the room, the door swinging shut behind him.
A clicking sound was followed by hysterical laughter echoing through the wood. Panic spiraled up Jared's chest as he stared at the door, a hesitant hand reaching out towards the knob. When it turned but the door remained firmly shut Jared let out a few curse words before turning to the other man in the room. Jensen looked as though he was just as devastated, if not more so, by the new information. For a moment everything was silent before Jensen let out a small grunt, walking towards the door with purpose. Jared was almost taken back as the other man slammed into the door with his shoulder.
"Let me the fuck out of here. You can't just lock me in this room with this douche bag!" Jensen began to pace, his eyes locked on the floor just ahead of his feet. "I'm not dealing with this shit, Mike! Let me out!"
"Lets play a game, you two learn to get along, maybe admit that there is an attraction and have sex, and Tom and I will let you out of the kitchen." Once again there was the sound of laughter and then hushed voices.
"Mike and I are going out for the day, we need to do some Christmas shopping and I am sure by the time we come home tonight, after we go to dinner of course, you two will get along." There was silence and then the dull thud of another door shutting. Jared reached into his pocket in the hopes of finding his cell phone.
"Shit." His fingers pulled into a fist as his frustration boiled over.
"What now?" Jensen's head turned vaguely in Jared's direction, his eyes still locked on the ground.
"Mike the pick pocket stole my cell phone. Do you have yours?" Jared stared expectantly, the constant pacing traveling straight to his head. Jensen stopped walking only long enough to check the pockets of his jeans.
"Nope, he stole mine too. And, of course, they don't have a home phone. We're pretty much stuck here unless we want to kick the door in. Which would be wrong…but at this point I am quite tempted. Anything to get away from you." Jensen shrugged before pacing even faster.
"Yeah, 'cause I am that terrible. I'll just shoot you now and it will save us all a lot of pain and suffering." Jared smirked, his dimples gleaming in all their perfection.
"I'm sure you haven't enough balls to actually kill me. I mean, you don't even have enough kahoonas to loose your virginity, let alone kill a person." Jensen let his eyes visibly travel up and down Jared's body, taking it all in.
"Take a picture, it lasts longer." Jared wrinkled his nose, pushing away his clawing need to cover himself.
"Well, you aren't bad looking so it must be that you have no balls. How old are you exactly?" Jensen finally stopped pacing, his body sliding slowly down the door into a sitting position.
"I'm twenty-one; it isn't as though I am the only one that is my age and still a virgin."
"Dude! I lost it at like sixteen; most people I know did too. How are you…still alive? I would die if I went that long without sex" Jensen was laughing at Jared, his eyes closed, small wrinkles lining the outer rims of his eyes. For a moment Jared was too taken back by his beauty to actually feel anger.
"I've never had it, so how would I know what I am missing?" Jared couldn't help but switch into hurt puppy mode, instantly on the defense.
"Come on, you've never dated anyone?" Jensen stared at Jared as though he had suddenly grown a third eye.
"No."
"Never kissed anyone?" Jensen bit his lip to cover his smirk.
"No, I did that but it was in high school." Jared finally sank to the ground, pulling his knees to his chest.
"Was it at least a boy?" Jensen was obviously two seconds away from cracking into hysterical laughter.
"No, it was actually this girl that I had been friends with for my entire childhood." Jared wanted to feel shame for having never kissed a boy, but the memory of his first, and only, kiss was too pleasant to be regretted.
"How do you know you're gay?" Jensen was staring with wide eyes, his cheeks red from the focus it took not to laugh.
"I've always known, since puberty at least. Girls were fun to talk to, at least the ones I knew, but boys were different. I always…knew what I wanted but I have the tendency to enjoy solitude. Really, if you like being alone there is no motivation to find a partner." Jared's chin was resting against his knees, his words slightly mumbled.
"I didn't really accept that I wanted boys until I lost my virginity to a beautiful girl. I felt nothing. I actually faked the orgasm, if you can believe it. I broke up with her shortly after and didn't really date until high school ended." Jensen shrugged, his voice finally calm.
"How many relationships have you had?" Jared wasn't quite sure why it mattered but somehow it seemed important to ask.
"Well, there have only been a couple but they were all long term." Jensen was picking at the seam of his jeans, avoiding looking at Jared.
"What was the longest?"
"My last boyfriend, Chad. We dated for over two years, he was getting antsy and wanted to buy a house together, run away to Canada and get married. I wasn't ready for that, ready to live a simple life in a quite town. I ran to Europe; honestly, I'm not sure if I was running away from growing up or from Chad. I guess I kind of assumed he would follow me, take me home. Apparently, I wasn't worth following. He married the next guy he found, they live in Canada. I actually only came home for the wedding." Jensen had no logical reason for explaining all of this to the handsome mad seated only a few feet away. He had no need for acceptance and yet, with Jared he couldn't imagine staying enemies forever. For whatever reason, he wanted Jared to accept him.
"You actually went to the wedding? Didn't that…hurt? I would think it would hurt. I'm not sure I would be that brave." Jared felt slightly over whelmed by all of the information, he had not expected Jensen to actually open up.
"If I had actually love him, then yes it would have hurt. I just…liked the way my life was. It was so simple and easy to live but I couldn't imagine living that way forever. Sometimes change is…necessary." Jensen turned to look at Jared, a small trace of sadness visible in his eyes.
"Is that why you were so worked up over me not wanting to change? Because it reminded you of yourself?" Suddenly everything seemed simple, as though all of the animosity from the night before was fading away.
"Yeah, I guess so. I'm not without my problems." Jensen laughed softly, "What about you? Any problems?"
"Beyond enjoying being alone and hating change, I don't know? I'm sure I have them but most of the time, others bring flaws to light, I don't really have anyone around to tell me when I am doing something wrong. So naturally, I think I'm perfect." Jared threw his head back and laughed, finally feeling a bit okay with the situation.
"Yeah, well your chicken did look pretty damn close to perfect." Jensen wiggled his eyebrows as he pulled himself to his feet. Loading up two plated with salad and the 'perfect' chicken, Jensen moved to sit down again, this time closer to Jared. "Here, we might as well eat before the chicken gets too cold."
"Yeah, if we're going to be stuck in here for a while we might as well make the best of it." Jared laughed as he forked a bit of chicken and lettuce, popping them into his mouth.
"Oh God. We better not drink anything, if we are going to be stuck in the kitchen for hours…" Jensen looked slightly horrified before he finally cracked into a fit of giggles. Jared was quick to join with his thunderous laughter, the sounds echoing through the room until at last both men ran out of breath.
"They should have locked us in their bedroom, that way we at least have access to a bathroom." Jensen shook his head before falling into a spasm of laughter again, falling against Jared's shoulder.
"That would make more sense for their plan to get me laid" Jared was gasping for air between each word, his face turning bright red.
"Yeah, let's swipe that V-card right here on their kitchen floor. So romantic, don't you think?" Jensen was practically rolling around on top of Jared, his breaths short and desperate.
"Better calm down there, you're going to pop a blood vessel." Jared really had no room to talk, his own breathing hardly allowed for words.
Jensen nodded, letting his head fall onto Jared's lap, turning so that he could lie on his back. His breathing was ragged as he attempted to calm himself, his eyes slammed closed. Everything felt light, as though they were floating on a cloud of happiness, a cloud so very different from the stormy ones they had previously resided on. For a moment Jared wondered how they could have possible came to this place, a place where it was all laughter and deep connection. The thought was stolen as Jensen opened his eyes and stared directly up at him, something addicting glimmering in those perfect orbs.
"Kiss me?" Jensen's voice was softer than Jared remembered, his eyes beckoning Jared forward. Leaning down, not discouraged in the least by the awkward position, Jared pressed his lips against Jensen's. It was all soft and perfect, a blissful sweep of tongue against lip, asking for permission. Jared let his mouth fall open, his tongue dancing with Jensen's as the thudding heartbeats in his chest began to overwhelm the silence. When they finally pulled apart Jared could feel his lips tingling, mourning the loss of the perfect warmth they had just felt.
"Wow." Jensen closed his eyes, his breathing slightly off kilter.
"Is it always that intense?" Jared let his head fall back against the wood of the cupboards, overwhelmed by the paradox of their situation.
"No, never for me." Jensen opened his eyes again, the perfect green clashing beautifully with the spatters of freckles on his cheeks. Jared became convinced that this was, in fact, what love is meant to feel like.
"I feel all weird and fluttery." Jared let out a breath he didn't know that he had been holding, everything felt different.
"I do too. Maybe…maybe the gay wonder couple actually know what they are talking about." Jensen cocked an eyebrow, holding back another chuckle.
"What happens when they come home?" Jared avoided looking down; avoiding the pain he knew that Jensen could put him through.
"We leave? Maybe go to the bathroom?" Jensen was trying to lighten the stagnate air in the room to no avail.
"Are we…friends when this is all over? Do we pretend that this never happened?" Jared sighed, unsure of what to do.
"It was just a kiss. We don't need to start planning the future right now." Jensen pulled his head from Jared's lap, moving to sit next to him instead.
"You're right." Jared smiled to hide the pain.
XOXO
When the obnoxious couple returned home they found two grown men asleep; Jensen with his head on Jared's shoulder and Jared soundly asleep against Jensen's head. The moment passed almost as quickly as it had come. Jensen ripped himself away from Jared, rolled his eyes and left. Jared was left confused and rather upset, returning home to his solitude. It occurred to him that although it was easy to be alone, it was difficult to fake human emotion in writing. Jared now felt an over powering urge to write.
XOXO
Two Months Later
The problem with Christmas is not the gifts, or the weird foods, or all of the terrifying decorations…it is the parties, the parties that happen to take all of those things and roll it into one awkward ball of fun. Jared stared around the crowded room, silently swearing to himself that this was the last party he would attend. It was a lie he told himself often, one that Mike and Tom ensured would never come true. He had the sneaking suspicion that this party was yet another way to set him up with yet another guy. Jensen had only been the first and yet, it was Jensen that remained firmly glued into Jared's mind. The writing had flowed for days after their brief kiss, pages filling without effort. The story was new, the story was exciting and the story was not about dimes. Surprisingly, his publisher was happy, relieved almost. Jared had sent out a few early editions of the print version that he had been given, one of which was sent to Mike. If he secretly hoped they would send it to Jensen after reading it, well, no one was the wiser.
Doorways are hazardous at Christmas time. Jared had been warned, and pushed several times, into doorways. Somehow, as he looked up it occurred to him that he was indeed standing in a doorway, a doorway that happened to have a few small green leafs tacked to the direct center of the arch. Panic began to build, his instinct to run. Just as he turned to flee, a strong had pulled him back. His lips were attacked by softness, crushed by the familiar feeling of bliss. Jared assumed he had died and entered a warped version of heaven. When the warmth finally pulled away he was left staring into familiar green eyes.
"What was that?"
"Me not planning our future. I just…needed sometime to get my affairs together in Europe. I didn't get back to the states until last week, when I was given a very special book. The plot seemed awfully familiar." Jensen was smiling, his freckles glowing perfectly with all of the holiday lights stringed up along the walls of the living room.
"Did it?" Jared could barely breathe, let alone talk. He felt as though he was regrowing his heart, the fluttering nearly stealing his breath.
"There was this scene where the main character kisses his soul mate in the kitchen of their best friend's house. It just…seemed eerily familiar somehow. When I looked at the name of the author it was not what I expected." Jensen leaned forward, arms on either side of Jared, effectively trapping him.
"What did you expect?" Jared's voice was raspy, his tone lower than he expected.
"I expected a pen name. What I did not expect was to see the man I love's name in massive letters. I did not expect to see a breath-stealing photo of him on the back cover. I did not expect the book to be dedicated to me." Jensen was impossibly closer, his lips just a fraction of an inch away from Jared's.
"I didn't expect you to come back; I had to write it all down before it faded away." Jared wanted to close his eyes, to hide away, but he forced himself to stare into the jade trap before him.
"Has it faded yet?" Perfect lips so close that Jared could feel the breath of each word on his own, so close that each movement was a near kiss.
"No." No louder than a whisper, a secret that they both shared.
"Let's hope it never does." Lips finally collided, tongues dancing once more. For the first time in months…Jared felt like he had finally found home. And if it happened to be under the mistletoe, for the entire world to see, well it only made it that much better.