I've basically written 99% of this outside college in the morning in the cold, and when I was like, really sad, so I'm sorry that it's not very good. It's my version of what could've happened after episode 24 & it's going to be a 2 part fic! I hope you enjoy, and I hope I'm not the only one missing Lorraine like crazy, because that would be weird. Have fun reading, peace out.

"I'm not putting my heart on the line, so that you get some practise at being a human being. I'm sorry... It's just how it is." She mumbled, her voice still strong even if she was hurt, before she turned and walked away, quickly, as if she couldn't get away fast enough.

I felt as if my heart had split in two. I had made the strong army woman break down. Me, the person who she should be the closest to, the one she loved... I knew I was still uncomfortable about the whole 'being out' thing, and my pride told me just to forget about her and walk away, but I couldn't. Not again.

"Nikki wait!" I half shouted, not trying to draw too much attention to either of us. She paused slightly before she continued walking, as if she was having some sort of internal debate of whether to stop or not. Walking faster, I tried to catch up to her, my pace quickening with each step I took.

"Please..?" I mumbled, barely above a whisper. It was probably more of a silent thought to myself, but Nikki stopped, turning around to face me with tears in her eyes, causing a massive surge of guilt to rush through me.

I carried on walking until I was directly in front of her, reaching my hand up to reach her cheek, my thumb wiping away the tears that had started to fall, feeling a few of my own gathering in my eyes. Threatening to fall, making me look weak. I didn't care though, I could trust Nikki, she wouldn't judge me.

"Lorraine... Don't." Nikki mumbled, trying to move away, shaking her head slightly. I wrapped my arm around her waist, using all my strength to keep her close to me, to stop her from walking away, away from us.

Hearing someone slam a classroom door shut, I flinched slightly, but I didn't remove my arm from her waist. She was watching me, analysing my every move, clearly wondering what I'd do now someone else was in the corridor, clearly thinking that I'd run away. Leaning in, I kissed her neck softly, feeling her shiver underneath my touch. The feelings were still there, I just had to battle to get them out, and to convince mine to stay.

"Your office? PRU? We need to talk Nik... Anything you want to know, I'll tell you. I promise." I whispered, trying to convince her to go somewhere with me, so we could finally talk in private, with no gossiping teachers or pupils around. Even if I didn't mind the odd person seeing us together, I wasn't exactly going to have a personal and what could be a very emotional conversation out in the corridors of Waterloo Road. The news of a teacher relationship would spread like wildfire, with both kids and teachers contemplating about what they thought was going on.

"Tom's in the office, and Audrey's doing something in the PRU so we can't exactly go there Lo… Lorraine." She mumbled, trying to move away again, my hold on her only increasing. I noticed how she was about to call me Lo, my old nickname. She was Nik, I was Lo. It was pretty soppy really, but it was a guilty pleasure of mine…

"Ok, what about… I know, just come with me." I asked, my voice slightly demanding. I was determined for this to work. Nikki didn't resist, so I took her hand and started walking in the direction of the drama supplies room. It was private, secure… I could say what I wanted to, apologise, and hopefully get her back. I felt like a teenager again, all these feelings…

Entering the room, I quickly shut the door and turned around to face Nikki, not too sure of what to say. She'd stopped crying, but there were still tears in her eyes, threatening to fall. Just like mine. Neither of us said anything, but I didn't think any of us knew how to. Words never solved anything, actions did. Michael always used to tell me that I would go far in life, he used to encourage me, but nothing happened. His words didn't get me my millions, my actions did. I worked hard, I made myself millions and I made myself proud. Moving closer to Nikki, I noticed that she was looking down, trying to avoid eye contact, and I knew I had to do something now before she left. After all, actions speak louder than words…

Placing one hand on her waist, I pulled her closer to me, whilst using my other hand to lift her chin up, smiling softly at her. I edged closer, counting my breaths… One, two, three… Waiting wasn't an option anymore, the way she looked at me suggested that she wanted to go, but she also wanted me to kiss her, to prove to her that I was sorry… So that's what I did.

Tilting my head upwards, I moved closer again, making sure there was no distance between us, and I pressed my lips lightly on hers before pulling away, looking into her eyes to find a reaction, to see what she was feeling. Nothing. Just silence. Her mouth opened, as if she wanted to say something, but she quickly closed it again, clearly changing her mind about whatever it was she wanted to say, before she pressed her lips on mine, harder this time, pushing all her emotions out of her and into the kiss. Smiling into the kiss, I kissed her back, letting passion take over before she stopped, quickly ripping her lips away from my own, confusion taking over.

"Nik…?" I asked, not moving away from her.

"I... I can't do this Lorraine. You heard me, I'm not putting my heart on the line for you. I'm not getting hurt again!" Mumbling, then shouting. She said it all.

I quickly shook my head, placing my finger over her lips. She didn't resist, and she placed her head on my shoulder, her body shaking slightly underneath me. Another surge of guilt rushed through me, Nikki Boston, the strong army woman, was crying. I'd broken her. Emotionally comforting someone was never one of my strong points, so I had no idea what to do. If it was me who made her upset, would she want me cuddling her? Telling her that's it all going to be ok, that I won't hurt her again? Proving myself to Nikki was going to be one hell of a hard task, but proving to myself that I could do it... Well that's another story. She was still close to me, her head on my shoulder, holding me as I held her. Maybe this was a sign, a good sign, that she wanted me to comfort her. So I did.

Stroking her short, dark brown hair, I moved enough out of the way so I could give her a small peck on the cheek. Nothing too much, nothing too soppy, just something to tell her that I wasn't going to go anywhere.

"I'm not good with emotions. They scare me. I... I shut down." I whispered, my lips close to her ear. Telling her things that are only meant for her. My breath on her skin, causing her to shiver slightly underneath my touch. "I want to prove to you something... Prove it to myself, too. I'm not going to run away anymore. I've got loads of plans for this place, remember? And me and you... We're the ones to make it 'appen." I quoted, remembering the line from before we first kissed, my accent making itself known on the final word.

I felt her shuffle awkwardly beneath me, but before I had a chance to register any negative thoughts, her lips were once again on mine, and this time I felt a slight smile on her face, giving me reason to smile back. Pulling away slightly, looking into her eyes, I finally saw a glimmer of happiness, something that created butterflies in my stomach. It made me feel happy, normal, human.

"Back to mine tonight then?" I asked, smiling, nervous, not wanting to push her too far when we'd barely even registered what was going on.

"Wha… What about the awards show thing?"

Oh shit. I'd completely forgotten about that… Josh wasn't going anyway, and going alone wasn't really an option, nor was taking Nikki. It wasn't that I wasn't proud of her, it was just that it wasn't exactly her style… There was something else we could go to tonight, however…

"Josh isn't going, neither am I. I'll just say I've got an emergency or something. This…" I said, placing my hand over her heart, shouting at myself internally for being so cheesy. "This is what matters to me right now, ok?" I stated, smiling at her, receiving a beautiful smile back. She didn't say anything, just smiled, a real smile, which was something I hadn't seen off Nikki since I broke it off.

Our lips connected once more, savouring the time we had left together before we had to go back to work. Not that it mattered, I paid her wages, so she's not in any danger of having them cut. So we kept going, we kept going until we had to stop for air, ragged breaths escaping our mouths. We stopped then, resting our foreheads on one another's whilst we caught our breath, my hands tightly holding onto Nikki's, scared to let go. I was scared that I was going to ruin everything again… But this time, this time there was something different about me.

This time, I was going to do things right.

Tonight, I'd show her how much she means to me, public place or not.