A/N as of December 2012: So I apologize if you've tried to read this at any point in the last few years. I wrote One Week back in '04-'05, and it's been a while since I looked at it. I just got a review saying that there'd been a mix-up with the first chapter. When I looked, lo and behold there was! Unfortunately I don't have the original to put back up, so I had to rewrite it. I know this first chapter is going to be a good sight better than the following ten chapters, so if you guys are really thrown off by the quality change, let me know and I'll see about reworking the rest of this story. Cheers!

Note: This is set directly after Shrek 2 and is AU after that point. If you enjoy this, a side story called 'Simply Charming' about Doris and Prince Charming is also available on my author page.

It was a humid day in Swamp Bottom when Shrek and Fiona were roused from a lazy morning in bed to an annoying wailing noise that was only getting louder.

Shrek groaned and tried to block out the ruckus with a pillow, and grabbed Fiona's to create a second layer when the first one had little effect.

Fiona was now thoroughly awake, and instead of trying to ignore the increasing din, rolled out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen. She knew what the sound was, and whatever Donkey was upset about now, coffee was probably going to be needed. The noise rose to a high pitch directly outside the cottage and cut off abruptly after the sound of solid wood breaking through a mud wall echoed through the house.

"Shrek!" she called, scooping some of the mud coffee into the boiler. "You're going to fix that after breakfast!"

Her husband groaned loudly. He knew when he was beaten . "Yes, dear," she heard him reply.

With the coffee set up, Fiona tied her robe around herself tighter—ever since going back to her old human self, she had to get used to being ogre-sized all over again—and walked outside.

A small grey donkey was lying tangled in the remains of a chair, halfway submerged in a puddle of mud and swamp water. He was blowing bubbles morosely into it, and fat tears rolled down his cheeks. His fur was singed brown and crisp on one flank, and she could smell the burned hair even over the myriad fragrances of the swamp.

"Donkey, are you okay?" she asked, picking up her pace to pull him out of the water.

As she untangled him from the bits of chair, he started crying more, and heedless of the mud and bitter stench, she held him as he wept.

A distinct odor of sulfur was obvious to her ogre nose, and Fiona asked, nervous of the answer, "Where's Dragon?"

Donkey began sobbing harder, and his wails filled the clearing like an air horn, scaring away whatever birds had stayed. The front door of the cottage slammed open, and Shrek stormed into the clearing.

"What is all the ruckus?" he demanded, glaring at Donkey.

Fiona was annoyed at his brusqueness, but at the same time she was grateful for his presence. If anyone could persuade Donkey to talk, it would be his best friend.

His voice softened as Shrek obviously started paying attention, and she heard his big footfalls as he neared. "Hey now, what's wrong?"

Donkey shook his head and made a mewling sound that sounded wrong coming out of his muzzle, but Shrek, with all the charm of an ogre, grabbed his muzzle and forced his head up.

"Donkey, what's going on? Why are you burned?"

"Dragon," Donkey choked out.

"I can see that you got into a fight," Shrek said, running a finger over the melted fur. "What about?"

"She's gone," Donkey said.

"What do you mean she's gone?" Fiona asked. "She left before to go have babies," she said. "Maybe she's having another batch."

It was the wrong thing to say.

The mule broke into fresh howls, and Fiona looked at Shrek. His face was lined with worry.

"She left with the kids," Donkey said between sobs. "She was—it's a dragon thing. They raise their babies alone. She just needed me to help make them, and then little dragons meet the daddy once, and then they leave with the mom to go grow up in the mountains somewhere. She wasn't too good with explaining," he said, nodding at his burned side.

Fiona winced. She wanted children, but she would never take them away from Shrek, even if he could be an ogre sometimes. She looked over at Shrek, whose face displayed a mix of concern and something she couldn't identify. Relief? Why would he be relieved at the thought of a mother taking her children away from the father?

She pushed the thought to the side and decided to focus on their four-legged friend.

"Donkey, I'm so sorry," she said.

"You can stay with us for a little while," Shrek said.

Fiona looked over at him. She could tell that the offer had cost him dearly. Shrek didn't like sharing space with anyone, but the concern in his eyes was open for anyone with eyes to see. He was genuinely worried about his friend.

"She left me this." Donkey nodded over to a parcel that he'd dropped at the fence. It had obviously seen better days, and Fiona cautiously made her way over to it and opened it with a long stick. Anything that Donkey picked up could explode, be disgusting, or both, so she thought a little caution was warranted.

A small orange bottle rolled out, and Fiona picked it up carefully. "This is one of Fairy Godmothers'," she murmured, turning it over in her hands.

"How can you tell?" Shrek asked, watching her as he forced one of Donkey's legs back through a chair rung. "Sorry, pal," he murmured as the donkey winced.

Fiona pointed to a seal where the mouth of the bottle had been sealed with wax. "This is her personal sigil," she said. "She also has—had—a line of cosmetics that had the same sign."

"What does it do?" Donkey asked. He was still sniffling, but she knew from her own experience of being locked in a tower and abandoned by your family that he was probably in shock.

"I don't know," she said, peering through the clear glass at the orange potion sloshing around inside. "It's thick like syrup, but there's no note."

She held the bottle up to a shaft of sunlight to get a better look, and to her surprise, words flashed down the side of the bottle in fine golden script.

"True love's test," Fiona read. "This potion will transform you into a form that you will find easy for travel, as will your true love. There will be a draw between the two of you, and you will both be transformed for one week. If you find each other and share True Love's Kiss by the end of the week, you can remain in the new form, but if you choose to go back to your original forms, please be aware that Fairy Godmother is not responsible for any allegations of bestiality, inter-species sex crimes, etc, should it be illegal in your country. Note: This product is processed on equipment also used to process nuts."

"Donkey, Dragon just gave you this?" Shrek asked.

"Well no," Donkey said. "It was in the cave, but I didn't know where it was until this weird girl calling herself the new Godmother waltzed in and started telling me that this was a new chance for me, that everything would change, and that I'd be okay."

"There's another Godmother in town?" Fiona asked. God, could the country tolerate another one? "What was she like?"

Donkey appeared to be hard in thought, and finally ventured, "She looked like orange was her favorite color."

"Well I see nothing wrong with that," Shrek said sarcastically. "Let's have that potion now, shall we?"

"Great!" Donkey said, lunging for Fiona.

Fiona danced backwards, holding the potion out of reach. "Donkey, we don't know what's going to happen!"

"So you're going to give up on Dragon just like that?" Shrek asked. "You were sobbing not five minutes ago."

"Hey, I'm a flexible guy," Donkey said. "It's not the first time I've been ditched like this. Remember that old lady who tried to sell me when Farquaad was in charge? She raised me from an itty bitty baby donkey, and then tried to sell me off when she found out Farquaad was offering a bounty for fairy tale creatures."

His tone was savage, but Fiona could see the pain in his eyes. "Donkey," she said softly.

Donkey shook his head. "Save it, sister. I'll get over it. Now gimme the potion."

She knew it was a bad idea, but honestly, what was the worst that could happen? If Donkey transformed and didn't find his True Love, he'd just change back into a donkey and come home, right?

She handed him the potion, and she and Shrek watched as Donkey bit the wax off, ate it, and then chugged the little bottle in one go.

He licked his lips afterwards. "It was kinda chunky," he said. "Do potions go bad?"

"Not that I know of," Fiona said carefully. What did happen to potions after the Godmother who made them died?

Donkey stumbled a little, even though there was no breeze and Fiona knew for a fact that the ground hadn't trembled. "Donkey?"

"Vision's getting a little woozy," he said, sitting down.

Fiona looked at him closely, then blinked. "I think mine is too," she said. "I swear to god I just saw your eyes move in your skull."

She looked again, and his eyes were now at the front of his head.

"That's disturbing," Shrek said from behind her. Fiona jumped. She hadn't even seen him move; she'd been too focused on Donkey's slow transformation. They stared as Donkey's fur fell out to be replaced by dark skin, and when everything was said and done, a short, dark-complexioned man with a wide white smile was sitting naked in the middle of the swamp, surrounded by a circle of fallen fur.

Donkey raised his hands to his face and examined them, and his face split into a grin. "I'm human!"