Hey guys, this is my first Shaman King fanfic. I don't know what drove me to write this, but still I do hope it'll entertain you.
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If anyone has a similar plot just tell me and I'll revise this.
Disclaimer: I'm just borrowing the characters from Shaman King.
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Realizations Hit Hard
By:
TwilighT DovE
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"But I did love you then, only I didn't realize because it's so strong, and I still do love you, even though I know I've probably blown my chance."
--Empire Records
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After the chaos brought about by Hao Asakura in the Patch Village, the shaman fight was postponed even after he was defeated. The guardians were yet waiting for the decision of the spirits for when the fight should resume again. Yoh,his friends and companions went back to where they live--back to their normal life.
Yoh stood before Anna, hoping amidst his fear that he would be able to deliver properly what he needed to say.
"Anna," he started awkwardly. "Since Hao is already gone, I think...I think there's not enough reason for me to join the shaman fight. I'm sorry."
Slap
Yoh anticipated the assault yet the impact itself jerked him as though it came as a total surprise. Nonetheless, he understoond her. Being the shaman queen was after all, very important for her, but with just a few words, he trampled everything she had hoped for. It wouldn't surprise him if he'd recieve a hundered consecutive slaps from her.
She said nothing, merely standing in front of him. He knew that she was demanding an explanation and he would give her that. She had the right to know just what made him change his mind so unpredictably. "I'm really sorry, Anna. I know I promised you I'll be shaman king." Yoh apologized again yet this time with a red tint plastered against his face. "But there are so many others who deserve the title much more than I do. Eversince I came and fought in Patch Village, I realized that there are many shamans who have real purposes for wanting to become shaman king. I only continued fight because I knew I had to beat Hao,being an Asakura myself, I am expected to defeat him. Now that he's gone, I don't have enough reason to keep on fighting."
Slap
Without a word, Anna turned her back on him. "Someone like you who surrenders so easily really don't deserve to be shaman king."
Yoh stared at her back as she retreated into the house. There was nothing in her voice that could tell him if she was angry, hurt or sad, but the slaps she gave him was enough to tell him he was a big failure in her eyes.
Amidamaru appeared at his side wearing a serious expression on his face. "Master Yoh..." he trailed off, unsure for whatever he ought to say.
"It's okay, Amidamaru," Yoh replied still with his eyes glued upon the direction she had taken. "I think what she said is true. I just hope she's a bit easier to read. I'm worried that I've hurt her too much."
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Anna closed the door behind her. She sat down on the floor and leaned her back against the wall. Despite her still cool and firm exterior, her inside was screaming with anger and frustration.
Had Yoh ever betrayed his words to his friends? She couldn't remember an instance yet how come it was so easy for him to betray his own words to her? He agreed to be the shaman king in order to give her the life she had always dreamed of and despite all the hardships, she trusted his words.
All through the ups and downs, she was there believing in him. Yoh was not exactly the most promising shaman alive, especially with that lazy attitude of his. But nonetheless, she had faith on him. Wasn't that enough reason for him to keep on fighting? Yoh fought for his friends and for the whole world but it seemed as though he couldn't fight for her. She was just too insignificant for him.
If that's the case, then her job in the Asakura household had finally ended. The Asakura clan did help her a lot and she in turn trained Yoh for him to become much more stronger. But since he decided to stop the fight, then there was nothing else she could do. Whataver the clan had given her was already repaid through her persistent guidance on Yoh. That only meant something--she too was free to decide for herself.
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"Are you sure of what you're asking?" Kino Asakura questioned her young apprentice.
"I am," Anna replied surely. "I want to cancel the engagement."
"Why do you say so?" She inquired though she was very well aware of the real reason. The news of Yoh's decision to quit from the shaman fight had already reach her knowledge just before Anna came to her.
"My job is done," the young itako answered back. "I can only train Yoh if he is willing to become shaman king but if not, I cannot do anything. Besides, I refuse to accept a failure like him as my future husband."
Kino stared silently at her student, knowing all to well that once Anna decides, it's final. And considering the fact that Anna had done a number of things for the Asakura family, there was no way Kino could deprive her of the freedom she was asking of her. "If you ask of it, then I'll give it to you," she said and turned her back. "Now, what are you planning to do?"
"I'm leaving," Anna replied shortly before turning her back as well, prepared to leave.
"You have nowhere to go," Kino stated matter-of-factly. "There's no need for you to leave. You may stay here and return to becoming my student."
A moment of silence passed by before Anna spoke again. "I can't. I have repaid your family for taking me in when I was a child. I can no longer stay here because that will bring added debts on my part."
"Tell me," the older itako said. "Do you really want to leave my grandson for such a shallow reason?"
"My reason is not shallow," she defended, still in her usual tone of voice. "Because this is what keeps me from leaving."
"I understand," Kino finally said after a few minutes of thinking. "If you're so sure of your decision, then go."
After the last statement was spoken, a mixture of sadness and happiness surged within Anna. It was like she was a bird, finally given the chance to venture out into the world, alone and independent. And just like a bird freed from its cage, she would be leaving the cage she was so accustomed to and the people who made her survival possible despite being in prison. She would be leaving the persons where her life revovled around for a long time.
"Thank you," she wisphered softly before making her way out.
A new beginning was waiting for her as she stepped out of the Asakura house. It was the same as stepping out of their life.
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Yoh stood before Anna's room, wondering if he should talk to her or just leave her alone for the moment. He chose the former and began to knock almost hesitantly on her door. No reply came.
He was about to walk away when he decided against it by remaining rooted on the same spot. "Anna," he called from the door but still no reply came. "Breakfast is ready. Aren't you going to eat, Anna?"
Silence
"Anna," he called again, persistent as ever. "I'm going to enter. If you're angry, you can slap me all you want."
With an inward sigh, he slid the door open and surprisingly, it was empty. He stared at the room, not only was she gone, her things were also nowhere to be seen. A sudden realization hit him but he refused to believe until he saw a piece of paper, placed above the table. He took it and began reading the short message.
Yoh,
I've already cancelled the engagement with Kino-sensei. You're free now. You can slack off all you want. Goodbye.
Anna
"Master Yoh..." Amidamaru said as he appeared ghostly at his side, looking at the paper in confusion. "What happened?"
"Anna is gone," he replied with the same look that he would wear whenever he was in a deep thought. "And the engagement was already cancelled."
"She's gone?" he echoed, disbelievingly. "Where to, Master Yoh?"
"I don't know."
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"Yoh"
The young shaman averted his gaze to his little friend. "What is it, Manta?"
"Why don't you want to become the shaman king anymore?"
The events went all too fast for him to easily comprehend what went wrong between Yoh and Anna. It seemed like the itako was just there yesterday though she was gone for a week now. Yoh had been thinking deeply eversince and Manta knew better than to question his friend. However, as a concerned friend, he knew he had the right to ask. He wanted to understand the young shaman and there was nothing wrong with that.
"I still want to become the shaman king." Yoh answered. "But during the shaman trounament, I realized that there are so many others who deserve it more than I do. If I would win the title, as Anna claimed that I would, then I'm going to trample the dreams of all the others, who unlike me, have better reasons for wanting to become the shaman king."
"Yoh..." Manta trailed off. Yoh was just being Yoh, always concerned for others than for himself. "But...how about Anna? You said you'll become the shaman king for her."
"I know," he replied matter-of-factly. "I regret not being able to make her the shaman queen. But whenever I think of Faust who wants to resurect his wife,of Horohoro who wants to save the koro poroku, of Chocolove who wants to paint the world with laughter, and all the others, I realize how shallow my reason is for wanting to win the title. I don't want to destroy all their hopes for my own sake."
Manta was rendered silent, unable to question his friend anymore than he did. 'Yoh...but...' he faltered in thought until he decided not to voice out any other question.
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It was another day without the blonde itako. For some reason, Manta could not seem to get used to idea. He watched as Yoh looked absent-mindedly into the sky with his hands placed behind his head and his body lying down the grass. Being a close friend, he knew when Yoh was contened or in deep thought despite the few noticeable hints. "Yoh," he called and sat beside his friend. "What are you thinking?"
Yoh lazily looked over his small friend before looking back at the sky again. "Why do you ask, Manta?"
"No-nothing," he replied and bowed down his head slightly. "I was just wondering."
Silence befell yet considering the unanswered questions flooding Manta's mind, it was just impossible for him to remain silent.
"Yoh," he began again. "Are you okay with Anna's decision? Do you even know where she is?"
"Does it matter?" The shaman replied casually, eyes lingering on the clouds. "It's her decision. I don't have the right to stop her. If that's what would make her happy then I'm fine with that."
"But Yoh--"
"What is it that you really want to ask, Manta?" Yoh glanced at him with the same unfaltering expression.
"What..." he trailed off unsurely while processing the right words he should say. "What are you feeling about it?"
A few moments of silence passed by with Manta anticipating for the answer and Yoh mentally assessing his feelings. "I'm not so sure," he replied. "But I know I don't want it. I don't want to never see her again but from the way it seems, that's what's happening. However much I don't like it, I understand her. Someone like Anna doesn't deserve a failure like me."
"What are you saying, Yoh?'' Manta stood up with obvious exasperation, his small fists clenched into a ball. Yoh looked at him but said nothing. "'Everything's going to be okay' that's what you always say but if you won't do anything then nothing will happen. If you ask me, I also want Anna to be back." Yoh said nothing but his silence urged Manta to go on. "It's because I think you're at your best when you know she's there guiding you."
Yoh's eyes tentatively and slightly widnened before it returned to it's original size.
"Unlike now, all you do is relax the whole day as if your life has no direction. But when Anna's here, that's when you learn to look forward to reaching dreams that are yet far beyond your reach."
Manta had a point and Yoh knew that.
"I guess I've said I what I should say," Manta exhaled wearily. "I'm going home now. There's a lot of homeworks, just in case you forgot about it."
Manta headed away but halted when his dear friend began to sit up from his lying position. "Manta," Yoh said and looked back at his retreating friend. "Tell me, what should I do?"
"I don't know, Yoh."
"Without Anna, I don't know what I'm supposed to do." He grinned foolishly. "I guess I'm not used to not having her ordering me around."
"I'm sure you can think of something." Manta looked sympathetically at his friend. Despite the grin plastered on Yoh's face, he knew behind that lies what Yoh was truly feeling.
"Thanks, Manta. You're really a good friend." Yoh smiled afterwards and flopped down the grass again. He'd need a lot of thinking.
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Yoh stared at the blue sky painted with fluffy white clouds. It was vast, like a coat wrapping the earth with its mysterious beauty. He and Anna were beneath the same sky but deep inside him, he felt hollow as if she was that far away where even the sky did not exist. It seemed to him like they were now a world apart with a distance that could never be conquered anymore.
Whenever he would stare at the sky, it was enough to bring him happiness and contentment. He could go on like that forever. That was, however, not the case anymore. The times he would stare at the sky while listening to his songs were also the times when his mind would unconsciously linger around the memories that Anna had left behind. Those were the only traces that they had once been a part of each other's world.
Outwardly, those memories were memories of pure torment-- rigorous trainings and piles of demands. For many, there was nothing good to look back on those memories. But he was different. He knew that all those memories were proofs of how much Anna trusted in him. She was the only one who trusted in him above anyone else. She trusted him more than his friends and families ever did. In some instances, she trusted his potential even more than he trusted himself.
Anna did not help him in most of his fights but he knew that despite that, he always had her support. She knew him all too well to know when he needed help and when not. Just the fact that she helped in the fight against Hao and gave her energy to him, was enough a reason to say that she really cared for him and would always be ready to help him when he would need her.
Those things were facts he knew beforehand but there was one thing he didn't know. He didn't know that his life would lose direction without her. The burning feeling inside him kept taunting him to do something or he might just explode with sadness and longing. It was a strong feeling of wanting to see her right then and there, to apologize and promise yet again, that for her, he would attain the title shaman king.
He couldn't help wonder how it would feel like to pull her into a tight hug, never to let go. A single hug from her was worth the thousand slaps that would follow. This was how much he longed to have her back again by his side, always supporting.
Before, it was his dream to become shaman king and have an easy life afterwards, but right now, his dream had been altered.
He now wanted an easy life together with the girl he cared for so much.
End
I know it's a cliff-hanger, but since I'm currently focusing on my other stories, treat it as a one-shot, for now. Read and Review! Tell me what you think of it, guys. I will very much appreciate anything from you.
Thank you so much!