Her Only Sunshine
A/N Rewritten version is up. This will contain more of Minami's backstory (like why she kissed random people when she was younger) and a few major changes such as her parents' names and such and such. Another major change in this version is that Minami doesn't realise Minato will be born as her brother until later on. The first chapter is a lot darker than before so any of you who don't like to read that kind of stuff should skip to the second chapter. (Though it may be a bit confusing if you don't read the first chapter.)
Like I mentioned in the last post of 'My New Sun' this story will not likely be updated until 2018.
Also to those who do not know an account on Wattpad has continuously been stealing my story 'My New Sun' and has now stolen 'Her Only Sunshine' as well. That account has been taken down once after I reported it but has reappeared under a new name. The only account authorized to upload 'My New Sun' and 'Her Only Sunshine' is my own 'candygood1'. Please take note of this and report the stolen story to Wattpad if you can. Other than that please enjoy ^^
Prologue
Life Before
Prologue
Life Before
She is quiet. So quiet her friends are beginning to worry. At any other time she would have given them a reassuring smile and told them not to worry but this time she doesn't bother. Instead she focuses her attention solely on the ceramic urn that is sitting on her lap.
The urn is slightly warm due to hot ashes inside. Her thighs are uncomfortably hot but she endures it. Her long fingers trail over the kanji charcters on the urn that spell out the name of her late lover. She spends so much time staring at the urn that she doesn't realise they had arrived until her friends tap her on the shoulder.
She ignores the looks of pity they try to hide from her and steps out the car with her arms wrapped tightly around the urn. It is only a short distance to the graveyard where his grave has been prepared in advance. The fresh grey gravestone lays in wait as does the readily dug hole.
The funeral is fairly short as it only consists of the burial of the urn. There are no fancy words of god from a pastor or sugarcoated lies of the afterlife floating around as she and her lover had always hated religion with a passion.
Most of her small group of friends leave after the burial while others are sent away soon after. She has no patience left to deal with them at this point. While she appreciates their worry she does not want to be pitied by them or accidently lash out at them. Sending them away is the safest thing to do as even she isn't sure what will happen when she finally breaks down.
She takes a small shaky breath to calm herself before kneeling down in front of her lover's fresh grave. For a moment she admires the rows of sunflowers her friends have left him.
Sunflowers had always been his favourite flowers.
From his socks and boxers to the wallpaper of their shared apartment, her lover had been obsessed with them to the point he had declared that he would name his firstborn children Himawari or Hinata.
She had once asked him why he was so obsessed with them but all she had gotten as an answer was a light peck on the cheek. She had never gotten the true answer to her question and now she never would.
Now he is nothing but a pile of human ashes in an air tight ceramic urn, under a cold stone grave.
She tries to take another shaky breath but this time it does nothing to calm her. Her tears are already flowing freely down her cheeks and onto the pavement below her.
He had been the center of her world. The sun she would rotate around and the trees that would shelter her from the rain.
She had no family left to go to and no friends who truely understood her loss.
He had meant the world to her but now he was gone...
Without him...
"Just what do I have left to live for..."
It has been months since the funeral. Her friends are worried because she doesn't reply to their messages or answer their calls. They all meet up at her apartment and knock on the door. She answers and is promptly pulled into a tight group hug.
Her friends blabber on about how worried they were while she just smiles at them reassuringly. Her friends ask her when's the last time she went out and drag her outside when she doesn't answer.
The girls hull her to the nearest shopping mall while the boys follow behind. She is dressed up and down like a doll for hours until her friends are satisfied with her new look. They then proceed to drag her to their regular bar where she gets drunk on a few shots of strong vodka. The alcohol burns her throat and makes her head go dizzy but it is surprisingly pleasant.
She is on her 7th shot when a stranger comes up to her and tries to offer her a drink. He's been watching her for a while. He's waited until she was clearly drunk and took the chance when her friends all went to the bathroom.
Too drunk to care she takes the drink and chugs it down. Unknown to her the stranger has slipped a mild concoction of drugs into the drink and is waiting for it to take effect. It doesn't take long for it to do so and for him to take advantage. He forcibly slips his tongue into her thoat and gropes her breasts with his hands.
She is too weak to fight back and her body falls limply into the stranger's forceful embrace. At one point she thinks she can hear the voice of her lover, telling her he loves her like he always did when they kissed.
The stranger is just about to take off with her when her friends come back from the bathroom just in time to stop him. He flees but is caught by her male friends. They are all furious and look as if they are going to kill the man. They are stopped by the other customers who advise them to wait for the police.
The girls try to keep her awake while they wait but it is incredibly hard to do so as she continues to slip in and out of conscious. Her whole body feels so heavy and her head feels like it's filled with a nest of hornets. Bouts of nausea hit her hard causing her to heave up all the alcohol she's consumed that night. She is half dead by the time the police arrive with an ambulance.
The paramedics whisk her off to the hospital while her to-be rapist is taken into custody. She is hospitalized for 4 days before she is finally sent home. She is still a bit groggy but it is bearable. Her friends feel guilty for dragging her out that night and try to apologize over and over again but she is not having it.
She is upset at what happened that night and still has a few nightmares over the whole thing but she doesn't blame it on anyone but her almost-rapist. It had been her friends who had dragged her out that night and her who had gotten drunk but it was ultimately the almost-rapist's fault. If he hadn't drugged her or attempted to rape her then none of this would have happened.
There is one thing that has been nagging her at the back of her head though. When the rapist had kissed her she had heard his voice. Did that mean if she kissed someone she could hear his voice again?
Her friends are scared to ask her out again but they eventually comply at her continuous urging. They go to a different bar this time. One out of town. It is larger than their regular place and has more variety of alcoholic drinks. Though it is technically supposed to be a girl's night out, the boys have insisted on coming in case something similar happened again.
Nobody tries anything this time so it is a much more cheerful event. Again she took one too many shot of vodka and ends up leaning on one of her male friend's for support. He has also had a few too many beers and one thing lead to another with them ending up locking lips.
A sickening feeling churns in her lower stomach as her friend deepens the kiss. She is on the verge of vomiting when she finally hears his voice. His voice. The voice that she so yearned for. She can finally hear it.
Tears stream down her cheeks, startling her friend who quickly pulls away from her to apologize. As soon as his lips leave hers the voice fades.
No, she doesn't want it to fade.
She grabs hold of her friend's collar and forcefully pulls him into another kiss. The sickening feeling is still there but she ignores it as she savours the familiar voice that rings in her head.
The next week when the friend she kissed asks if she remembers anything of that night she lies and says she does't. That friend never brings it up again and doesn't act any differently besides that.
It is cruel of her to do so in a way but she does't want to lead him on. She isn't ready to enter another serious relationship. The only reason she kissed him was to hear her lover's voice.
After that night she starts experimenting a bit with random men at bars. She finds out that as long as she is locking lips with someone she will be able to hear his voice. Kissing someone is the only way she can hear his voice so clearly. She has no recordings of his voice at home and just remembering it in her head isn't as clear as it is when she is kissing someone. The actual kissing makes her sick to her stomach but she will do anything to hear his voice again.
As twisted as it is this becomes her coping mechanism. The sound of his voice is the only thing keeping her sane. It is her only way of coping with her loss.
Every Saturday night she goes out with her friends and gets drunk at a bar to spend the night locking lips with someone. She never lets them go to the next level and stops as soon as it looks like they are going to try and bed her. Some men are satisfied with just being snogged senseless while others aren't. She learns that through experience.
All in all this routine keeps her sane enough to carry on with her normal life but even it has its limits. There is one thing that it can never hope to help and that is his death anniversary.
Each year on that day, after she has returned from visiting his grave, she always finds herself at gunpoint. It doesn't matter what she does or how hard she tries she will always end up in the same position.
For 6 years she manages not to pull the trigger but on the 7th year it all becomes too much. She is just too tired...
Surprisingly the gun has never felt more lighter. Her hands don't shake like they did in the previous years and she no longer feels the intense fear of death looming over her shoulders.
There is no feeling, no emotions and no hesitation. Everything just feels so numb to her...it feels so numb and so right to be there. To be in the situation where she is to finally be freed of the pain she has been enduring for so long.
After one final deep breath she pulls the trigger and lets the metal bullet impale her.
It is over in less than 4 seconds. A moment of pain rushes by before she feels nothing.
No pain, no loss, just nothing...
She wants nothing more than this to be the end of her story. The end of her miserable life, but it isn't.
To her dismay the nothingness fades all too quickly and is replaced by the familiar disorder of her much hated world.
For a moment she thinks she's failed that is until two blurry figures appear over her and say 3 simple words.
"Welcome home Minami-chan"
I'm not sure what rating to place on this but just to be safe I've rated it as M and Mature on other sites. I would really appreciate it if you could help me choose the right rating.